I could write...I could write the typical love song - you know the one,
of minds merged, souls converged, of loveseats and heartbeats,
of rose blossoms and gold, 'to have and to hold';
I could repeat sentiments, far too often told.
I could write a lyrical love song - one made for a tune,
for wedding dances, longing glances, hot romances;
for love found or lost, for lovers star-crossed,
I could sing a song which would move you, at most.
I can't write with innocence, this is no light affair.
Won't promise the stars, I can only reach so far.
I'm not a fortress, no hero, I can't save your soul
Your every happiness isn't in my control.
I can't write with absolute conviction, I can't
promise there'll be no friction, restriction
I can't give you the earth, I'm one human being,
and with love and its cohorts there's no guaranteeing.
What I will do, is love you the best way I can;
To raise you, amaze you, enthral and daze you,
To be here forever, through every endeavour,
To be with you always, wherever, however
A DreamI dreamed of you.
Imprisoned I wept, cowered,
held captive by my own demons.
As I trembled, a soft hand took mine
and pulled me close, to gentle warmth.
I dreamed of you.
I looked up and saw your face, your eyes,
and with no words you stroked my hair,
wiped the frightened sweat from my face,
kissed my cheek softly and stood me up.
I dreamed of you -
we ran, you led me from the darkness,
we fled, and as we emerged into daylight
I fell, stunned by the pain of the brightness
that my eyes had never seen.
I dreamed of you;
you knelt beside me in the grass,
you lifted my face to yours and kissed me...
and made love to me, releasing me
and relieving me of those demons forever.
I dreamed of you, and then I woke,
aching for you, a thousand miles away.
I dreamed of you, and knew then
that dreams can truly be an introduction
to one's own heart's desires.
En droemEn drøm
Jeg drømte om deg.
Jeg var fengslet, jeg krøp sammen og gråt
holdt fanget av mine egne demoner.
Jeg skalv da en myk hånd tok min hånd,
og dro meg nærmere, til en mild varme.
Jeg drømte om deg.
Jeg så opp og så ditt ansikt, dine øyne.
Uten ord strøk du mitt hår,
og tørket svetten av frykt fra mitt ansikt.
Du kysset mykt mitt kinn, og reiste meg opp.
Jeg drømte om deg –
vi løp, du ledet meg vekk fra mørket,
vi fløt, og da vi kom inn i dagslyset
falt jeg, slått ut av smerten fra det klare
lyset mine øyne aldri hadde sett.
Jeg drømte om deg,
du knelte ved siden av meg i gresset,
du løftet mitt ansikt opp mot ditt og kysset meg...
og elsket meg, satte meg fri
og befridde meg fra demonene for alltid.
Jeg drømte om deg, og så våknet jeg,
jeg lengtet etter deg, tusen mil borte.
Jeg drømte om deg, og skjønte at drømmer
virkelig kan være en introduksjon
til ens eget hjertes ønsker.
BlazeYou spoke, and I was set alight
and I burned, the flames roaring around my ears
so brightly, they lit up the world.
My skin charred, black ashen pieces were caught
by the rising heat and floated to the ground,
and layer by layer it peeled away in parchment pieces
and I felt no pain at all.
Devouring me, your searing inferno
melted my flesh, you dissolved my every fibre
and branded my soul with your name.
ConsumptionWhen you touched my skin it cracked wide open
and you delved inside, swam with my blood,
danced with my demons and swept them away
like dusty cobwebs cluttering my bones.
You slid your fingers under my eyelids
and you pushed inside, embraced my thoughts,
scraping away my pain with gentle fervour
and pulling away strands of my thoughtlessness.
You stepped through my eyelashes
sweeping them aside like floating curtains
with your king-stride, you strolled among the fields
pushing my hair from your face with angel's hands.
When you breathed through my fingertips
I knew you were no human, no earthly being
with no solid ground beneath your devil's feet.
I could not move, you had enough motion
for the two of us, as you danced through me.
EverywhereEverything reminds me of you. I can't bear to change the sheets
because your pillowcase still holds your scent. I inhale fiercely,
wanting this intake of breath to last forever, it's all I have left of you.
Everything I view in this house bears your imprint, your face.
A tie hanging over a door handle taunts me, and I know
I'll never get rid of the memories and the longing.
I walked outside today and remembered that every footstep I took
was another footstep taken without you. I went about my daily business
and remembered; we ate there - we sat there - we embraced there.
Walking past that building nearly killed me because I knew you were inside
so close to where I stood but I could never come inside.
I know I'm not welcome any more, so I just walk on and hold my tears.
I'm afraid to read, lest one of your markers should fall from the page.
I'm afraid to open any drawer or cupboard in case your things are there,
or worse, some gift or old Valentine's card lays in waiting to crush me onc
I Miss YouI woke, I sighed and my eyes opened to loneliness.
My heart saw that empty space and slept once more,
I tried to wake it, but it cannot fathom its existence
Since you decided it was no longer your desire
Since yours closed its doors I have been a lonely soul.
You don't remember what it was we loved for
Or the things which brought us together, tied us gently.
Under my ribs, my heart sleeps in sadness.
Wishful ThinkingMy mind is full of unsung love songs,
unwritten letters and unsaid words.
I have a thousand poems in my heart
that I never wrote for you.
There are a thousand sweet nothings
I never whispered, a thousand 'I love yous'
I never said.
Had I the means to rewind the clocks
and turn back the time I'd tell you every single thing.
How my heart still skips when you walk into the room
How one smile on your face brightens my life.
I'd tell you that you are my world
and without you I am simply a lost soul.
My mind is full of hurtful words,
said in spite and now, in shame,
I have a thousand memories in my head
that I wish I'd never created.
There are a thousand things
which should have remained unsaid,
which I now regret.
Had I the means to rewind the clocks
and turn back the time I'd take back every single thing.
So many words I didn't mean, said in anger and hurt
and never considered for one moment.
I would simply tell you that you are my world
and without you I am a lost soul.
My Mother Is Still ProudPerhaps, in those times of learning psalms
and shiny shoes, there was a God
who would love me and protect me, as long
as i wore the itchy dress and brushed my hair.
Maybe I really would have had salvation
if I had sat up straight like the other girls in my Sunday school.
Would I have been saved? If I had kept my mouth closed
Legs closed, mind closed? Would I be a saint?
Had I lived a sinfree life then
Would life now be carefree?
The memories are so faint now,
that I can barely see them at all.
The dusty walls and shining glass
and the Mother who watched with weeping eyes
as we apologised for being mere humans
and offered up our souls.
My mother is still proud of me
even without that hated dress.