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Princesses have issues by QueenOfTheCute Princesses have issues by QueenOfTheCute
A LOT of issues.


A few words on each girl:

Cinderella: Her dress is silver. Not blue. Thankyouverymuch. Oh! And she's a complete bimbo.

Ariel: No surprise that my favorite princess gets to tell off my least fav.

Jasmine: Poor thing never gets to dress up in her fancy clothes. And they're hawt, too.

Belle: Technically... she never married that Prince. =D Maybe she had a thing for hairy dudes?

Eilonwy: Lame movie. Lame characters. Lamer character design. It's no small wonder why The Black Cauldron has been disowned by Disney. I've heard lovely things about the books, though.

Aurora: She's a ditz, too, but I just can't bring myself to hate her. Probably because of the hair. Yeah, definitely the hair.

Pocahontas: Daughter of the chief? Close enough to a princess for me! Also, she has a huge rack.

Snow White: True. Anyone else sense a hint of pedophilia while watching it?

Kida: She counts as a princess, even if the movie was woefully disappointing for me. (I reallyreally wanted to like it... but it just wasn't solid enough.) Still, she's voiced by Cree Summer, so that wins her lots of brownie points.

Megara: Ok. You got me. Not really a princess in the movie. But she is in the myth! (Of course, Herc kills her and their children in that myth, but why split hairs?) Besides, I love that joke, and I needed one more girl to say it.



Yes, I've probably thought about this much too much. But since Disney shoves this Princess stuff at us all the time,I can't help it. They get so many of them wrong! If there's one thing you can't fake, it's royal heritage.

And don't even get me started on Tinkerbell... :shakefist:



All princesses to Disney (don't sue me)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconshellquake:
Shellquake Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
And they thinks themselves better and more mature than men, huh? It just goes to show no woman is ever perfect.
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:iconthatguy4545:
ThatGuy4545 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2018
The books are F***ing AWESOME. Kinda heavy though, I don't know why my school library had them in the "Kids Fiction" section.
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:iconnana57n:
nana57n Featured By Owner Edited Jan 5, 2018
megara sucks :(
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:iconazariahrobinson:
azariahrobinson Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2017
Who the blue one at the right side
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:iconfinndragon92:
Finndragon92 Featured By Owner May 14, 2017
I agree 
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:iconbefuntoons:
befuntoons Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2017
Looks like happy ever after is just another fairy tail.You ought to check out robot chicken.They did a show that had some of these girls.The end of the show one of the princess brought a atomicbomb.You did some good work here.I bet if you showed this to the voice over actors.They would crack up.
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:iconelvenraptor:
ElvenRaptor Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017
To be fair to the Prince in Snow White, we don't actually know how old he is, either. He could easily only be 15-16.
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:iconpkmndetective:
PKMNdetective Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2016
cala from the adventures of the gummi bears would be great friends with ariel and merida, and cala knows how she feels about the position, they both rather defend their kingdoms rather standing around looking pretty.  Love to see merida's face when she see who's cala's best friend is.
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:iconscroogemacduck:
ScroogeMacDuck Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
About the "Snow-White-is-14": well, first, remember Snow White was stuck in that glass coffin for at least a year. And, besides, who knows how old her Prince is? For all we know, he's 14 too.
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:iconmysterygirls1314:
MysteryGirls1314 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD I love how megara is like, yo, want some?
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:iconsamanbrosefineizzle:
SamanBrosefineIzzle Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2016
Who's the girl talking to Aurora? I don't remember her.
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:iconhuiskis:
huiskis Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2016
She's from this movie ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I…
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:iconsamanbrosefineizzle:
SamanBrosefineIzzle Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2016
Thank you. :)
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:icondragonturtle2:
DragonTurtle2 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016
Pocahontas was actually only 12.
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:iconle2:
LE2 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016
Well....for the time and place, 14 might have been legal, especially for princesses. (Historically, princesses were expected to marry as soon as the puberty fairy hit.)
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:iconmysterygirls1314:
MysteryGirls1314 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hah!XD puberty fairy! Lol!
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:iconle2:
LE2 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016
Yeah. She doesn't leave a quarter under your pillow. She leaves boobs on your chest.

True fact: Marie Antoinette was married at 14.
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:iconmysterygirls1314:
MysteryGirls1314 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol and woah!
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:iconmichelangeloartis:
MichelangeloArtis Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016
Some Disney Princesses are ironically not even princesses.
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:iconwindwing101:
WindWing101 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2016
thats when everything gets confusing
Reply
:iconalex-baba-the-artist:
Alex-Baba-The-Artist Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016
can everyone spit on my asskissing I bullied these girls and I threatened

ikissdalionmansazz.deviantart.…
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:iconkathycat17:
kathycat17 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
Lol this was really funny XD
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:icontiptoe2810:
tiptoe2810 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016
funny
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:iconpainsmash:
Painsmash Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I Love your art.
Reply
:iconditua:
ditua Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016
BUahahahhaahaaa!! Good one!
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:iconroselite:
Roselite Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I thought Snow White was 13, not 14.  And I adored Black Cauldron growing up (and hated most Disney Princesses before Jasmine and Ariel cause they were too girly and weak).
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:iconkirto313:
kirto313 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2016
OK I hate princesses but got to admit thats pretty funny
Reply
:iconcelestia999:
Celestia999 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016  Student General Artist
OMG SO FUNNIEST and inoppropriaot!!!
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:iconhiimdeadgirl:
Hiimdeadgirl Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Lol. But nicely done.
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:iconcrypto456:
crypto456 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016
nice
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:icondeadpegasus:
DeadPegasus Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016
And then there's that bullshit that Wreck-It-Ralph pulled.......
Reply
:iconentity-js:
ENTITY-JS Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016
This is funny as hell.
Don't know why Disney doesn't recognize THE BLACK CAULDRON these days.
It's one of my favorite medival fantasy cartoons.
Sure, it almost ruined them back in the day, but f*ck they own everything now.
Seriously though, great piece. Kida and Meg are the best.
Reply
:icontailspin101:
Tailspin101 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Disney DISOWNED The Black Cauldron?! I haven't watched it I have only heard really good and not so good things about it. But how do you disown a movie? Do you just not sell the merchandise? 
Reply
:iconlalicsiren:
lalicsiren Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with all of it. I want to take the whole disney studios and seat them down and have a nice chat over tea concerning how stupid do they think we are? That chat could go on for hours I personally invite you to my tea party of discussions.
                   If such a thing were possible I would have done it.
                  We really don't know all that much about the Princes of the story. I know everybody is freaking out over Snow White but a long time ago as soon as your chest developed of you go getting married but that is a really really really really long time ago about 1000 years. I do hate the miss-coloration on the merchandise. Greek Mythology? Disney got it all WRONG!!!! It's Heracles not Hercules in GREEK Mythology. Meg wasn't just a nobody from nowhere she was a Princess! My only comment on Belle is that I WANT TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE DUDE!!! We don't even get a 'Prince Charming' as bad as that is.
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:iconsnapcentino:
SnapCentino Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Student Writer
Didn't know that Snow White should horrify me. But now I can't ever watch that movie again. That's almost as bad as the original Sleeping Beauty fairy tale.
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:icongodjacob:
godjacob Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015
While all this is going on, Mulan is busy saving all of China.  
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:iconrikueru:
RikuEru Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Exactly. She doesn't give a shit about all this "princess" business...
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:iconcerberus144:
cerberus144 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015
This needs Mulan cutting off a Hun's head with a sword. 
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:iconbluestar54321:
bluestar54321 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015
i love that so much and its really funny and i dont no eilonwy  kida or megara is can u tell me what movie they are in 
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:icontheblckhood:
TheBlckHood Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015   General Artist
Meg: Hercules

Kida: Atlantis

Eilonwy: The Black Cauldran
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:iconannaelynn:
AnnaeLynn Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist
It'd be cool if the more recent princess were added in too

I think this is such a perfect pic though!
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:iconbarathethornninja:
BaratheThornNinja Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Student Writer
I wonder what the NEWER princesses have to bitch about? I can picture Merida complaining about people accusing her of being a lesbian just because she didn't choose a man (I don;t really care about the character, but it annoys me that people assume something)
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:iconalmostzab:
AlmostZab Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Yeah people assume a lot of stuff. I have no problem with the Korra/asami art i see everywhere, but after actually seeing the ending to book 4 my wife and I were like "you call THOSE lesbian over tones?!" That's a hell of a stretch.  This is a great little piece though. Reminds me of SNLs the real housewives of Disney sketch.
Reply
:iconbarathethornninja:
BaratheThornNinja Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Student Writer
OMG I never thought about that; it IS like that SNL sketch (which I loved)
Reply
:iconstormangel13:
Stormangel13 Featured By Owner Edited Jan 26, 2015   General Artist
You realize when Snow White was written that 14 was the actual marrying age so for when the story was written that was legal. Overall though neat concept. The real Cinderella story the evil step sisters get their eyes pecked out by doves.
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:iconladyrhianwriter:
LadyRhianwriter Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
Um, you know that real Pocahontas was only like, 12?
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:iconjustsomeguy420:
JustSomeGuy420 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2017
No, in the movie she's 21. She's clearly not 12. Her face and body is that of an adult, not a preteen.
Reply
:iconbubblybumblebee1:
bubblybumblebee1 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Drama beyond drama!
Reply
:iconstayprettymunich:
stayprettymunich Featured By Owner May 16, 2014
Oi someone else who has never seen the movies criticizing the movies. and the comments section is frankly embarrassing..

The Classic girls rock and actually thought of people besides themselves like the Decade of Whiny Heroines (aka the 90s). Cinderella was pretty smart and even abused didn't sit around feeling sorry for herself and turn a bitter hag (coughcoughMegcough). Aurora was incredibly selfless and put a people she didn't even know over the guy she loved after finding out her life was a lie. they (along with Snow) are incredibly strong women and why people mock them just because it's "cool" and the politically correct thing to do I don't pretend to get.

if you feel the need to mock the princesses, mock Ariel or those Mary Sues Mulan, Elsa, Rapunzel and Belle. ;)
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