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The salty air burns as it filters through my lungs. The warm sand slows me to a walk, but no matter. I'm sure he didn't follow me this far.

The waves froth and foam against my sore feet. My breathing slows as I glance warily behind me. No one, I'm safe.

I vaguely remember this beach. My grandmother used to take me here when she was alive. The cove on the right, the cliff on the left. All familiar to me, but somehow unfriendly on this dreary day.

I heard a rustling, and turned quickly to the trees on my left. But it was too late. I heard a voice like velvet triumph whisper in my ear.

"Some say the Sea has no memory, some say it's just hiding the past. Of course, we both know you never really listened to what others had to say anyway."
The story behind this:
So, first things first, part of this was inspired by my friend's Mary's(Dracawyn) small story to describe a picture. It's in my favorites if anyone wants to read it, as I highly suggest you do. The other part was inspired by my weekend. I went to Las Vegas with some friends. One night, we stayed at a brand new hotel called The Silverton. It's a really cool hotel, and really nice. THey have a small aquarium right when you walk in and the restaurant right next to it is called the Mermaid Lounge & Restaurant. They have a sign outside to advertise it and the slogan goes like this: "They say the sea has no memory.........it remembers this place." And I thought that the second half of that was really stupid, but I loved the first half. And all that just molded together in my brain right that second. I yelled, "does anybody have a pen and paper?" I ended up using the back of a reciept and eyeliner. :P

It didn't take very long to write, and is still in rough draft form, as I have done no editing yet. Constructive criticism welcome!
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:icondracawyn:
Dracawyn Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2007  Professional Writer
:blush: *feels special* I'm inspirational!
I've had that same thing happen to me where a bunch of things suddenly become a brilliant idea and you have to write it down before you forget it. It's somehow very amusing every time it happens...

Anyway, I love this piece (I think these short descriptive pieces may be my new favorite way to write for fun). On idea I had if you felt like it was that that bit about remembering that beach. After she mentions that she vaguely remembers it you could do an almost flashback describing what it was like standing on the beach as a little girl, all the sensations and smells and those kinds of images that somehow stick with you all your life. And then the rustling startling her from her revere would seems even more... I dunno, harsh I guess.
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:iconqueen---of---spades:
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
:D Yay! Sometimes it happens thouhg, and you write it, and then read it, and it's almost exactly like what inspired you. Like I've read peoples vampire stories, and you can tell that they just read Twilight because it's pretty much the same type of story with different names. :P

THese type of pieces are quite fun, I have to say. THey always leave people wanting more. :)
That's a brilliant idea! Thanks! That will also make my character seem more real. Thank you!
I also wanted to ask you something. My friend read this and she said that she thought my character should die, to kind of end it, so it's not so up in the air. I'm not quite sure how to do that. Like, I want to make it peaceful, but complete. I don't really want to describe all the gruesome details, you know what I'm saying? Can you help me with that?
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:icondracawyn:
Dracawyn Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2007  Professional Writer
Uuummmmmmmmmmmmm... hmmmm... you could... ummmmmm... the bad guy could... take out a weapon of some sort. Like a gun, for example. He could take it out right after saying that last bit and then if you wanted you could describe the explosion of it... but I dunno, for some reason your bad guy seems like more of the strangling type to me... Something else you could do for making it peaceful is that while he's killing her she could reflect on something not really important or slip back into the memory thing. OH! That guy could even be in the memory, like, when they first met or something like that. And uhhhhhh... yeah. Hope that helps. I can't really seem to make my brain function properly today.
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:iconqueen---of---spades:
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
OMG! That help so much! Thanks! I've got a brilliant idea now. :D Thank you thank you thank you!
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:icondracawyn:
Dracawyn Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2007  Professional Writer
You're very welcome! I can't wait to see how it turns out.
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:iconqueen---of---spades:
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
You'll be the first to know!
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:iconbasalock:
Basalock Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2007
Its amazing, I really dont think editing is needed.
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:iconqueen---of---spades:
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
Why, thank you! I appreciate it!
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:iconfirefur:
FireFur Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2007
Lovely. ^^
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:iconqueen---of---spades:
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it. :D
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