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About Photography / Hobbyist SamFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Statistics 79 Deviations 1,628 Comments 8,280 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Botany - Lamb's Ear by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Lamb's Ear :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 2 0 Botany - Moon's Death by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Moon's Death :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 1 0 Botany - Inner Light by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Inner Light :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 1 0 Botany - Carnivore by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Carnivore :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 0 0 Botany - Bromeliad by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Bromeliad :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 0 0 Botany - Chaos by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Chaos :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 0 0 Landscapes - Glacial Evolution by Queen---of---Spades Landscapes - Glacial Evolution :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 2 0 Botany - Fractal Geometry by Queen---of---Spades Botany - Fractal Geometry :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 2 0 Landscapes - Piriaka Lookout by Queen---of---Spades Landscapes - Piriaka Lookout :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 3 0 Red by Queen---of---Spades Red :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 3 0 Howl by Queen---of---Spades Howl :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 1 5 Power by Queen---of---Spades Power :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 2 6
The Story
Head under water and you tell me to breathe easy for awhile,
But breathing gets harder, even I know that.
You made room for me, but it's too soon to see if I'm happy in your hands.
I'm unusually hard to hold on to.
Blank stares at blank pages, there’s no easy way to say this,
You mean well, but you make this hard on me.
You kept saying:
Why don't you come right out and say it?
Even if the words are probably going to hurt,
I'd rather have the truth than something insincere.
Why don't you come right out and say it?
What it is you're thinking, though I'm thinking it's not what I want to hear?
I tried sweeping up the seconds that tick off the clock,
And saving them for later when I'm too ticked to talk.
And I needed some time to search my mind,
To locate the words that seemed so hard to find.
I’ve always been the kind of girl that hid my face,
So afraid to tell the world just what I’ve got to say,
But I have this dream bright inside of me.
I'm gonna let it show,
It's time to
:iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 1 2
In More Places by Queen---of---Spades In More Places :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 1 2 Times Infinity by Queen---of---Spades Times Infinity :iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 4 9
Violet, evergreeen, mocha, navy
The colors appear on the canvas almost as they appear in my mind
One after another
Forming together and working in perfect harmony to create a beautiful scene
A simple picture of a place
And what a lovely place it is
As my hand moves confidently across the page
I find my mind beginning to wander
I find myself wishing deperately to go to that place on the paper
To find solitude, peace, and maybe even hope
To sleep in the soft shade
To dance in the cool water
To climb on the sturdy limbs
To run in the course sand
To become one with the sanctuary of my dreams
Forever a part of it and never leaving it
My own Neverland
My own Eden
With Him as my only companion
The only one I'll ever need
To complete my masterpiece
:iconqueen---of---spades:Queen---of---Spades 2 2

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Queen---of---Spades's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
United States
Explorer, geophysicist, athlete, zookeeper, botanist, coffee and craft beer enthusiast, cosplayer, gin aficionado, avid reader, wife, Christian.

Instagram: @rinzlersfox
The internet it a bizarre entity. It can give anxious high school girls a place to find out who they are, or at least try. They post pictures and words and receive support from random strangers (which, for some reason, can be more comforting than the support of friends and family).
But then, it's also a place for bullies to hang out behind the mask of anonymity. For people to troll around and cut at the soft underbellies that anxious people feel okay exposing online.

I was part of the first group for a long, long time. Although, I cannot say I was never a part of the second. Insecurity can easily turn men into monsters. 

As I revisit this site and make my account active again, I've been looking through all my old stuff. And I have to say, it is fascinating. I remember a great deal from high school and early college, but it is interesting to see it through my eyes at the time, instead of through the lens of memory and life experiences. There is a lot I said that wasn't quite true and a lot of views that have changed entirely. 

I still play soccer, though now I have had 3 knee surgeries; as you can imagine, I have learned quite a lot from those experiences alone. I appreciate the human body for what it is, and I recognize the need to treat it with respect and take care of it. However, I also know how truly horrible people can be when they get fired up or made to feel like fools. I also know that any insecurities I have about my body, though they might be induced by social media or other people, are entirely in my control. I try to keep that perspective at the forefront of my mind.

I used to despise coffee. Now that I have completed a Master's degree and worked a big-girl job, I hardly go a single day without a cup. And there's nothing better than a warm cup of coffee and a sunrise when you are backpacking through the mountains. I wish everyone could appreciate and understand the earth the way a geologist does.

I love science and I think it is beneficial to approach life the same way you would approach a physics problem. However, faith and art and books can give you perspectives that science will never be able to. It's important to be able to think both creatively and logically.

Never change who you are for another; someone will come along that loves everything about you. I am happily married now. I can say that I never had a relationship before him, now that I know what a true relationship is. And I've never really had my heart broken in that way. We've been together almost 8 years now, and not having him in my life now would be true heartbreak. He loves who I really am. He loves my competitive streak. He loves soccer and playing with me. He loves games and stories. He loves how much I love plants and animals. He loves camping with me. He loves hearing the new things I learn everyday. Even though he's not a big risk taker, he loves how adventurous I am; we balance each other. And love him for his athleticism, dedication, brains, compassion, kindness, and unending patience.

Most of all, I wish I could tell high school me to appreciate who she was instead of trying to make herself into someone "cool". It was great to read books and graphic novels - and now the world is pretty on board with that. It's great to be better than the boys at sports, but it's not necessary to rub it in anyone's face. And you can be both feminine and tough. If you really love something, embrace it. 

Now I've transitioned into adulthood. I'm only 25, but we own a house and we're financially independent. We're already saving for retirement. We have to balance adventure with allotted vacation time. Being sick means going to a doctor. I have friends that I will have my whole life, but I'm still best friends with the girl I grew up with. It's about quality: good friends, good food, good beer, good memories. I think a natural part of being an adult is yearning for childhood. Of course, one can never know how great it is to be a child until they have experienced adulthood, but knowing that does not make one miss it any less.

Life has an interesting way of moving forward both quickly and slowly. Appreciate it for what it is, live in the moment, and love the little things. They are what makes the big picture a masterpiece.

  • Reading: Of Dice and Men
  • Watching: Hercules. You're never too old for Disney.
  • Drinking: Coffee


Add a Comment:
InkofTheMadHatter Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2009
Pardon me, oh inept practitioner of medicine, but I must inquire as to the whereabouts of Shaun.
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
On my shelf, well taken care of, and apparently waiting till I see you next. He whines for you once in awhile, but I find I can easily shut him up with orange soda.
InkofTheMadHatter Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009
Well, never thought I'd say it but...thank you?
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
You know, I never thought you would say it either. But you're quite welcome! And mark me, it will get returned to you before either of us dies......I hope.
(1 Reply)
toppie-sfb Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2009
Thannnkkk you for the :+fav: on [link] !
leethaxoor Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2009
thankkkkkkkkksss for the fave!!!!

allow me to express my gratitude via ... EMOTICON SPAM!!!

:kiss: :clap: :w00t: :blowkiss: :giggle: :#1: :date: :+favlove: :hug: :love: :kiss: :eyes: :rose: :aww: :heart: :D :dance: :boogie: :bow: :smooch: :cuddle: :thanks: :glomp: :eager:
MassimilianoMarradi Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2009  Professional Photographer

Thanks for faving my [link]
francescotosi Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2009   Photographer
thank you for the :+fav:
FireFur Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2009
Have`nt heard from yah in a long time, you show post some more stuff. ^.^
Queen---of---Spades Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
I know! College is killer. But i plan to do some more stuff this summer...I hope. Haha.
How is you?
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