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It's that time of the year...

Werewolves Versus Issue 5, Werewolves Versus Hollywood is now available for download!

Click here to get it: gumroad.com/l/wv05

What is Werewolves Versus?

WEREWOLVES VERSUS is a twice-yearly ‘zine that pits werewolves against a different physical, cultural or ideological foe each issue. Werewolves might be up against Christmas, food, 1950s Americana, fashion or professional sports.  (more info here: werewolvesversus.com/)  Thus far, there have been five regular issues and one special issue, with topics including: the 90s, Romance, Music, Space, Fascism, and, most recently, Hollywood!

What did you write for this issue?

I've created a tale from the last days of the Old Hollywood studio system in 1958... with a twist.

In a world beset by Chronic Female Lycanthropy, a little-understood supernatural disease that turns women into werewolves, studio owner Andrea Lindholm makes movies alongside her daughter and assistant Anna.  Her most important new production is "Stay Back, Stay Feminine, Stay a Woman," a public service announcement to provide women with the latest information on Chronic Female Lycanthropy that she hopes will save the world - or at least her daughter.  But one morning, she finds an infected werewolf on the set of her latest blockbuster and her world changes forever.

If you're hoping learn a bit about the world I've built, I've got a little gallery of spoiler-free background materials right here:quebecoiswolf.deviantart.com/g…
I think that I'm long overdue to replace that silly April Fools Day journal.  In the interest of doing something a little different, I wanted to... do exactly what the title says.

As someone with an academic background in the field of history who actually (miraculously) managed to find a career in the field for which I studied, I've gotten questions once in a while on matters ranging from the material used to make German ammunition pouches in WWII to my professional opinion regarding Confederate war monuments.  To that end, I wanted to post a journal welcoming both professional - and morbid - curiosity.  Subjects I can address vary from historiography (the history of studying history) to very specific questions regarding my favorite fields of study.

One word of caution: please understand that just as there's no omnidisciplinary scientist who is a peerless expert of every subject from biology to astronomy, there's no omnidisciplinary historian.  My specialty is primarily European of the twentieth century and American history of the Antebellum Era to the end of the Cold War, so any questions from that period will be getting the most complete and elaborate answers.

So... ask away!
Everyone, I have an announcement to make:
 
I know I haven't been around much lately.  Now I've told some of you that I've been busy working on a major story for Werewolves Versus Fascism and that I'm out of town this week, but these are both deflections for a realization I've had recently.

The truth is that I'm finished with werewolves and I really want to move on.  Wolves aren't particularly exciting in their own right and werewolves are just so blandly ubiquitous that I think I've run out of ideas to explore that other people haven't done better.  To that end, I'm going to be giving up on werewolves and moving into a far more interesting sort of supernatural beast: werecats.
 
Werecats are more graceful, more beautiful, more interesting, and far, far more intriguing from a character design perspective than werewolves.  Whether they're lounging in boxes, climbing trees, or chasing down prey/laser pointers, cats just have an inherently great character to them that dogs don't.  There are werelions, weretigers, wereleopards, werecougars, werecheetahs, wereocelots, and werelynxes (among others), all very unique and interesting in their own right.
 
To this end, I will be going back and editing all of my stories to remove all references to werewolves.  All werewolf characters will be made into werecats and lupine behavior will be replaced by similar feline behavior (i.e. "snarls and then mauls" will be "hisses and then mauls").  The Poultrygeist story featuring magic mushrooms will now be about Jonas finding magical catnip.  Other stories, however, are total losses due to overuse of bland werewolf cliches that makes them impossible to repair by adding werecats.  I will be deleting those entirely.
 
The good news is that most of my fan-favorite characters will be converted over to the new all-werecat format.  Expect to see new art in the near future of the following:
 

Aunt Broken Fang - werecougar
 
Jonas Stidolph - werepanther
 
Lady Alisha Stockton - werecougar
 
The Bayou Cat Queen - werepanther
 
Kara - werepanther
 
Marcus - werepanther
 
 
As you can see, there is now a far, far greater species diversity in my cast and I think that everyone will like these improved, more interesting characters far better than their bland originals.
 
I hope I don't lose too many followers over this change.   Werewolf fans are obsessive about things like this, so I'm sorry if this offends anyone.
 
Hope you all have a happy April!  Keep on mowing!


WEREWOLVES VERSUS SPACE is now available!

And my story, "Lying on the Slab" is in it!  This is the fourth issue of Werewolves Versus published and the third in which I've been featured!

For those new to Werewolves Versus, it's a "pay what you want" 'zine of high quality werewolf content not available anywhere else!  Give it a look if you haven't seen it before.
It's been forever since I've posted a new journal.  So...

Ask me anything and I will answer!
Due to me being busy, we've had a lot less buildup to this big day than usual... BUT IT'S HERE!

Werewolves Versus Issue 3, Werewolves versus Music is now available for download!

Click here to get it: gumroad.com/l/wv03

What is Werewolves Versus?

WEREWOLVES VERSUS is a twice-yearly ‘zine that pits werewolves against a different physical, cultural or ideological foe each issue. Werewolves might be up against Christmas, food, 1950s Americana, fashion or professional sports.  (more info here: werewolvesversus.com/)

What did you write for this issue?

For this issue, I wrote "Rougarou Roulette," a story about an aging werewolf who returns to New Orleans, the city where she first changed, and rediscovers a long-lost musical idol.  We delve deep into the raunchy, drug-fueled world of Rougarou Music and learn how our heroine went from a shy young woman to a grumpy werewolf marketing executive.  With a story that prominently features both werewolves and nuclear power, what can possibly go wrong?
More and more lately, I think we've all asking ourselves why Hollywood doesn't seem to care about the werewolf genre except when it's time to make cheap horror schlock around Halloween.  Well... it's time that someone sat down and figured things out.  After consuming large quantities of certain thought-provoking, regulated substances (just like many Hollywood bigwigs do) and extensive viewing of the most popular media featuring werewolves, I've come up with some solutions.  It's time that we as a community accept that werewolves will never, ever be popular unless we change how we look at the genre.

So let's kick off April and the second half of the fiscal year the right way.  Here are the top five elements to create a successful werewolf franchise and the bottom five elements that should be avoided at all costs.  Follow these rules and before you know it, you'll have legions of Hollywood producers knocking down your door with multi-million dollar buy-out offers.


Top Five Most Important Elements for Success (ranked from least important to most important)


5. Sports Montages

True Americans are sports fans, so it's just common sense that this massive market would love to see some kind of werewolf-enhanced sports taking place in your story or film.  It really doesn't matter what kind of sport: wrestling, lacrosse, basketball, baseball, golf, skiing, discus, capture the flag, or even NASCAR.  What they want to see are werewolves (in human form of course) playing them and playing them well.  Everyone loves a jock after all, especially one who defeats all of his opponents without any effort at all.  Look at the NFL today - what could be better than seeing the plucky underdog rookie quarterback from a small market team having his leg snapped in half like an uncooked spaghetti noodle by a steroid-pumped, meathead Pro Bowl linebacker who makes more in a month than he does in a year?  If you want a picture of a well-written werewolf  sports montage, imagine a cleat stamping on a human face - forever.  

The fact is that sports make everything better.  Except for hockey, of course.  What are you?  Some kind of Canadian traitor?  Stick with proper American sports like baseball, MMA, and Jai Alai.


4. Vampires

This one should be obvious. Vampires are everything that werewolves are, only way sexier and a whole lot cheaper.  If you have some plastic fangs and a desaturation lens filter, you have a vampire.  Just wait until producers hear that your story will be able to appeal to vampire fans too!

Now, I know that some of you werewolf purists are balking, but let's face it: in pretty much every notable bit of werewolf media of the past fifteen years or so, vampires have made an appearance.  This isn't a coincidence: vampires are cheap, well known, and have wide appeal as sex gods.  There's really no reason whatsoever why you shouldn't hitch your werewolf story to the vampire fandom train.

All aboard the Twilight Express!  Next stop: high grosses and huge royalties!



3. Cool cars and motorcycles:

Cars represent sex appeal but in a purely G-rated way that you can include in your TV commercials.  What could be more sensual than sitting inside in a Ferrari?  What could better reflect the manly, testosterone-fueled rugged manliness like the steady grumble of the engine of the 2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat?  After all, it is the car of successful, masculine werewolves, brought to you by the engineers at Dodge... at least until Ford or GM manage to pony up a better product placement deal.  Just don't forget: driving these kinds of vehicles is for boys and villainous women - gotta keep those gender barriers up or you'll spook the Hollywood producers.  Anyway... never mind that these types of vehicles are even less practical that a Smart Car, cost a fortune to insure, are crippled by poor quality control, and are an unholy nightmare for any mechanic who dares to go under the hood (except for Dodges of course), but this is FANTASY.  And in the realm of FANTASY, hot, shirtless werewolf boys who drive flashy, expensive cars want nothing more than to marry a middle class suburban high school girl who doesn't seem to have any sort of personality.  Of course, you can have your villainous wolf boys drive cool cars too, but motorcycles would be even better (because motorcycles are ridden exclusively by sexy bad boys and villains.  Just remember: four wheels good, two wheels bad).  Just wait until the producer of your blockbuster film learns that Harleys can be rented for dirt cheap an you can save a fortune on stunt drivers by speeding up the frame rate!

Also, keep in mind that good characters drive the speed limit and wear helmets and seatbelts while villains and edgy bad boys don't.  It's important to make sure that everyone is sticking with their character archetypes.


2. Silver bullets, full moons, and gory transformations

If you don't include these elements, your audience is just going to get confused.  What kind of werewolf changes only once, doesn't have an agonizing transformation, and has no special vulnerability to silver?  I'll tell you what kind: the sort that has a disappointing box office opening - assuming you find a publisher who doesn't just fling it into his trash can. Stick with what's popular and it's hard to go wrong.  More importantly, it won't upset the Hollywood producers who view every deviation from what's already popular and successful as an awful, awful risk.

If you really want to put yourself out there, maybe you can omit ONE popular element just to set your werewolves apart from the competition.  It's risky, but if you're going to do that, take full advantage.  Have characters yap on and on about how your werewolf is a superior being that's just so different from ordinary werewolves!  Why yes... he transforms every full moon into a brainless berserk wolf beast and can be killed by silver bullets, but unlike those other werewolves, he also changes on new moons!  Such a unique, special snowflake he is!


1. Shirtless boys and scantily clad girls

This one is really, really hard to do wrong.  Take a handsome boy or hot girl, subtract the clothes as much as you can without getting in trouble with the FCC and that equals success.  Toss in a sex scene or two in the book and you're golden (I recommend writing it in the style of the instruction manual that came with your TV - since most of your readers probably don't know any more about sex than the average TV buyer knows about technology).  Unfortunately, while parents don't read the books that they get their teenage kids, they do usually end up seeing the movie, so you can't include such beautiful lovemaking in your film after your New York Times bestseller gets that inevitable movie deal.  But we can't have everything, can we?   The point here is to remember who your audience is.  For teenage girls, the way to go is no shirt on your werewolf, but you do want to include cargo shorts (which also opens up the possibility of a product placement deal with Abercromie and Fitch - they're desperate enough to throw money at just about anything).  For teenage boys, what we're generally talking about film-wise is a total gorefest.  With that R-rating, you can have a wardrobe malfunction or ten.  But if you're in another genre, you'll have to make due with a random bikini scene and the sorts of halter tops rarely seen outside of Las Vegas.

So bottom line: no shirt, no shoes, maximum fan service!



Bottom Five Elements (from least awful to worst) - AVOID AT ALL COSTS (seriously - if you make just one of these mistakes, you won't get so much as a TV pilot out of your story)


5. Morally Ambiguous Werewolves

The fact is that if you're not making it clear that being a werewolf is either the greatest thing ever or the most disgusting, evil, awful curse that could befall a human being, you're just going to confuse your audience.  Most people don't like to be challenged by fiction.  They're really just here for an escape from their dreary lives - either with a brainless gorefest that makes working retail seem marginally less awful compared to being messily eaten or the dream of being swept off their feet by a dreamy shirtless boy.  Look at this from the point of view of film producers: posters and t-shirts come with price tags.  You can't really make fan debate into a revenue stream.

Now some of you might be wondering how they're supposed to develop werewolves as characters without moral ambiguity?  Answer: you don't.  Think of putting a werewolf in your story the same as randomly adding a topless scene to a film: it doesn't demand debate or explanation, just ogling.


4. Excess Symbolism

Werewolves are a symbol for one of two things: strong, manly perfection or brainless monsters.  Isn't that enough?  Why do you have to go flooding your story will all kinds of confusing nonsense about werewolves representing veterans or the mentally ill people or women pushing against traditional gender roles or LGBTQ people?  All of these are just confusing to audiences and, even worse, can actively undermine other films.  How is Michael Bay supposed to score a smash hit with Transformers 9 when your little werewolf story about televised werewolf gladiators is making people evaluate their view of violent spectacles and lowest common denominator pop culture?  Do you think that the producers of chick flicks want the readers of your little tale about lesbian werewolves pestering them about including non-straight romance plots?  No.  They don't.  So stay away from symbolism.

On a related note, except for the quirky, flamboyantly gay side character who provides moral support, the evil bisexual female werewolf villain, or the hot lesbian couple who become the werewolf's first victims, stick with straight characters.  But that's such a universal Hollywood truism that it doesn't bear mention on this list.


3. Comedy

Werewolves are serious business and only by taking them seriously will we succeed in the business of making werewolf movies.  Whether it's a beautiful romance between the handsome wolf boy and the shy, demure maiden or a blood and guts gorefest, no one - I repeat, NO ONE - wants to hear a bunch of lame jokes or suffer through slapstick comedy.  Or worse - what if your jokes are funny?  Do you know what happens then?  Your story will be relegated to the comedy genre, which in Hollywood is the exclusive purview of toilet humor, sequels of franchises, knockoffs of films from the 1980s, and Dreamworks animation.  If your comedy werewolf story isn't any of those things, you won't get a film deal.

And if you try to tell me that "Shakespeare put comedy in his tragedies," well, you're awfully arrogant to go comparing yourself to the Bard.  Besides, kids hate Shakespeare because he's BORING.  Is that what you want?

2. Female werewolves

First off, notice that I said "no female werewolves" - the plural.  It's okay to have one, especially if she's evil or corrupted.  That way, you can get away with her not only being hideously ugly when transformed, but give her a topless scene without worrying that your audience will have to identify with her (see number 2 on the "good" list for a full understanding of why sex appeal is so important).  Unfortunately, sexy as she might be, you will have to kill her off.  The best way to do this is to have her die in a catfight (MRREOOW!) with the demure human love interest, which some audiences might find confusing since your evil she-wolf was shown to be a tough, superhuman killer and may be highly proficient with firearms, knives, and her fists while the love interest generally doesn't have any traits to speak of at all, but you've got to shore up those traditional gender roles or Hollywood producers balk.

If you want to run with a different angle, I suppose there's the recent innovation of including a token female werewolf who nobody likes along with your group of sexy wolf boys.  That way, the producers of your film can talk about diversity and inclusiveness, but without really disputing the fan service.  Not like they'll have to make merchandise of her or anything since no one will ever buy it.  

But the ideal is to stick with the one evil female werewolf - any more than that and audiences will be punished with the awful horror of hairy, masculine women.


1. Complex Characterization

Hoo boy... now we're into a real danger, yet this is probably the most common trap that many young werewolf genre writers fall right into.  Here's the deal: when you're trying to make a story into a film, you have to pitch it to film producers.  You get thirty seconds - and that's going to be a real problem if you're getting hung up on all kinds of crazy adjectives to describe your characters and how they change over the course of the plot.  Compare the following:

"A sexy werewolf boy falls in love with an everyday girl and then they fight evil werewolves."

"A handsome, yet self-conscious teenage werewolf struggling to overcome his fear of failure which was a factor caused by his traumatic childhood and the perpetual outsider status he feels as a non-...  Why are you shaking your head?  Wait!  Come back!  There's more, please!"

See what happened?  Too much characterization and film producer stopped listening while the writer looked like a complete loser.  Is that what you want?  Besides, you have to look at things from the audience's perspective too.  When someone hears that it's a werewolf story, the first thing on their mind is often: "what does the werewolf look like?"  Now, we'll leave the answer to that question to the finest minds of Hollywood's marketing consultants (since it's going to be the subject of posters and action figures and such), but what I'm getting at is that most fans of werewolf films really don't care about plot or character and you shouldn't either.


So that's the biggest takeaway from all of this - appearance is simply a more important matter than the intangibles like plot, character, and theme.  If you avoid those and focus on making the sexiest, coolest, richest, most marketable werewolf you can, you'll be a huge success and the movie deal is sure to follow!

By the way... if you've made it this far, I'm going to assume that you haven't clicked away or unwatched me in a fit of rage... Happy April Fools Day!
Tagged by :iconlonelycaon:

 

8 facts about…

 

:iconabfplz::iconabfwolfplz:

 

1. Aunt Broken Fang does have a “real name,” but what I’ve imagined it to be has changed so many times that even I’m not quite sure what it is. Since ABF herself doesn’t plan on ever mentioning it to anyone, this is a perfectly suitable situation for me as a creator.

 

2. Aunt Broken Fang suppresses her accent, which is otherwise a very thick “Oklahoma Panhandle” rather than the more moderate cosmopolitan Southern accent she normally has. 

3. Aunt Broken Fang was once offered an arranged marriage to Jonas, one of her “little ones,” but refused.

 

4. Aunt Broken Fang does in fact own a few dresses and even a few business suits, but rarely wears them, primarily due to the difficulty of concealing a large handgun in a skirt. 

5. Aunt Broken Fang used to play softball in high school, but was kicked off the team after brutally beating one of her own teammates for mocking her.  She still does like watching baseball and, to a lesser extent, football.

 

6. Aunt Broken Fang does actually have some confidence issues about her body (see above for an example), though she does like it when people appreciate her scars as a sign of toughness. 

7. Even in human form, Aunt Broken fang is surprisingly tall for a woman from her time (6 feet) and noticeably broad.  Her werewolf metabolism and significant appetite has only made her bulkier in adulthood.

 

8. Aunt Broken Fang’s tastes in all things revolve around age, power, and American steel.  Anything made prior to 1990 with a large caliber or high engine displacement suits her.

It's here!  It's here!

Now available for download:

Werewolves Versus Issue 2: Werewolves Versus Romance

Click the link below to go straight into the thick of it!


werewolvesversus.tumblr.com/po…


Just in time for Valentine’s Day / Lupercalia / “Eat a lot of chocolate and watch Netflix” day, it’s WEREWOLVES VERSUS ROMANCE! 176 pages of incredible werewolf short stories, illustrations and comics.  Contributing authors and artists include:



What QW did


My contribution to this werewolf-loaded romp through the romantic horror genre is "Love on the Mind," a short story about a chance meeting between Jackson Mordecai, a vampire prince and casino baron, and Regina Anne Kaisar the Fifth, a rich princess of the Kaisar Republic.  This story is exclusive to Werewolves Versus and features the same kind of twisted narrative and gloriously eccentric characters you've come to know and love.

But wait!  If you want to know more about the setting of the story, check into any of the teasers below.  These are certified spoiler-free and contain material exclusive to my DA page.  It's a nice intro to the setting and characters, a great reference if you want to know more about historic events and background characters, or a great way to broaden your perspective after reading the story and speculate about what wider revelations the ending might carry.

In that regard, the Teaser Material is a lot like pie: it's packed to the crust with delicious filler and is just as good for breakfast, dinner, or dessert!



Werewolves Versus Romance: Teaser 1THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL HAS BEEN APPROVED BY THE NEVADA FREEHOLD OFFICE OF EDUCATION EXCLUSIVELY FOR GRADE 7 VAMPIRE STUDENTS AT LEARNING ACADEMIES CERTIFIED BY THE OFFICE OF THE PROTECTOR OF THE NEVADA FREEHOLD.

 

THIS MATERIAL IS NOT TO BE PROVIDED TO ANY OTHER STUDENTS, UNDER PENALTY OF LAW.  (§ 3-391 Nevada Freehold Federal Code)
 
 
 
Social Studies, Grade 7 Sample Test: Unit 6, The North American Century
 
This test is recommended as a final skills assessment for Unit 6.  Multiple choice questions can be altered to fill-in-the-blank questions for advanced classes (see Tests for Advanced Students for essay questions).  Test should


Werewolves Versus Romance: Teaser 2Nubian Resort Hotel and Casino®

Historic Heritage, Modern Gaming

1861 South Center Blvd

Paradise, District 3
Nevada Freehold
 
Media materials: Second Quarter, FY2016

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 
 
Mark Gillette's Bestiary Arriving January 9, 2016
Fresh off of a yearlong international tour, magician Mark Gillette and his incredible animal friends will be permanently relocating to the Nubian Resort Hotel and Casino® to bring their thrilling acts t


Werewolves Versus Romance Teaser 3Preliminary Personnel Recruitment Report
 
Case Officer: Jackson Mordecai, Vice President of Human Capital, Nubian Casino Resort
Date: 12/31/2015
 
 
Recruitment Type
 
Retain (Temp): [  ]
Retain (Perm): [  ]
Private Sale: [  ]
National Auction: [x]
International Auction: [  ]
 
Vitals

Name: Margaret Davidson
Date of Birth: 10/2/1994
Physical Health: Excellent
Mental Health: Very Good
Description of Overall Appearance: Attractive, Athletic
Height: 5'6" (approx)
Weight: 140 lbs (approx)
Eyes: Green
Hair: Black
Known Health Concerns: Allergies (seasonal)
Country of Residence: Free United States of America
Known Skills: dancing, writing, customer service, waitress service
Father


Werewolves Versus Romance Teaser 4Freedom, Justice, Prosperity

The Daily Journal of the Kaisar Republic
 
Freedom

 
Thought of the Day
“Freedom is like money: it must be given up with great care and guarded by strong walls and well-armed soldiers.”
-Eustace Kaisar I, First President of the Kaisar Republic
 
Minnesota Liberation Day Next Week
On February 5, 1984, the Minnesota Freehold unconditionally surrendered to the Kaisar Republic Army and the freedmen of Minnesota, long oppressed by the ruling vampire families, were welcomed into the Kaisar Republic.  In 1985, President Eustace Kaisar declared that February 5th would be celebrated every year as Minnesota Liberation Day.  In 1986, Minnesota Military Governor General Loraine Kaisar announced that Liberation

Werewolves Versus: Available Online January 31, 2016!


As some folks know, I was one of the authors chosen to enter a story into the Werewolves Versus Issue Two zine.  This is something that I'm very excited about, especially given my rather long sabbatical from submitting new writing to DA.


What is Werewolves Versus?


Werewolves Versus is a twice-yearly ‘zine that features the finest in werewolf art, poetry, and prose.  For Issue Two, Werewolves Versus will be taking on the epic, bloodthirsty, horrifying topic of... ROMANCE!

Wait, wait, wait!  Get your cursor away from that back button!

Just because "romance" is the topic doesn't mean for a moment that you should expect werewolf mates in eternal love putting flowers in their majestic manes of majesty while prancing through the trees.  Oh no, quite the contrary.  This material will consist of the sort of QW-Approved subversive, critical, and deconstructive work from creators of all corners of the web... oh look, there's a list of them!



Okay, so when is this thing coming out?

UPDATE: January 31, 2016!


[IMPATIENT WEREWOLF NOISES]  What am I supposed to look at while I wait?

I'd recommend starting with Werewolves Versus Issue 1, if you haven't read it already.  This is a "pay what you want" 'zine.  Feel free to download it for free, give it a look, and then pay what you think is fair for the work.  Think of it as less of a price tag and more of a tip to the contributors and the ever hardworking editor.  You can find Issue 1 as well as further information about Werewolves Versus here:

Werewolves Versus Tumblr

If you've already been there and done that, why not go give my first teaser a look?

Werewolves Versus Romance: Teaser 1THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL HAS BEEN APPROVED BY THE NEVADA FREEHOLD OFFICE OF EDUCATION EXCLUSIVELY FOR GRADE 7 VAMPIRE STUDENTS AT LEARNING ACADEMIES CERTIFIED BY THE OFFICE OF THE PROTECTOR OF THE NEVADA FREEHOLD.

 

THIS MATERIAL IS NOT TO BE PROVIDED TO ANY OTHER STUDENTS, UNDER PENALTY OF LAW.  (§ 3-391 Nevada Freehold Federal Code)
 
 
 
Social Studies, Grade 7 Sample Test: Unit 6, The North American Century
 
This test is recommended as a final skills assessment for Unit 6.  Multiple choice questions can be altered to fill-in-the-blank questions for advanced classes (see Tests for Advanced Students for essay questions).  Test should


Or maybe the second?

Werewolves Versus Romance: Teaser 2Nubian Resort Hotel and Casino®

Historic Heritage, Modern Gaming

1861 South Center Blvd

Paradise, District 3
Nevada Freehold
 
Media materials: Second Quarter, FY2016

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 
 
Mark Gillette's Bestiary Arriving January 9, 2016
Fresh off of a yearlong international tour, magician Mark Gillette and his incredible animal friends will be permanently relocating to the Nubian Resort Hotel and Casino® to bring their thrilling acts t


Or or the third?

Werewolves Versus Romance Teaser 3Preliminary Personnel Recruitment Report
 
Case Officer: Jackson Mordecai, Vice President of Human Capital, Nubian Casino Resort
Date: 12/31/2015
 
 
Recruitment Type
 
Retain (Temp): [  ]
Retain (Perm): [  ]
Private Sale: [  ]
National Auction: [x]
International Auction: [  ]
 
Vitals

Name: Margaret Davidson
Date of Birth: 10/2/1994
Physical Health: Excellent
Mental Health: Very Good
Description of Overall Appearance: Attractive, Athletic
Height: 5'6" (approx)
Weight: 140 lbs (approx)
Eyes: Green
Hair: Black
Known Health Concerns: Allergies (seasonal)
Country of Residence: Free United States of America
Known Skills: dancing, writing, customer service, waitress service
Father


Or what about the fourth?

Werewolves Versus Romance Teaser 4Freedom, Justice, Prosperity

The Daily Journal of the Kaisar Republic
 
Freedom

 
Thought of the Day
“Freedom is like money: it must be given up with great care and guarded by strong walls and well-armed soldiers.”
-Eustace Kaisar I, First President of the Kaisar Republic
 
Minnesota Liberation Day Next Week
On February 5, 1984, the Minnesota Freehold unconditionally surrendered to the Kaisar Republic Army and the freedmen of Minnesota, long oppressed by the ruling vampire families, were welcomed into the Kaisar Republic.  In 1985, President Eustace Kaisar declared that February 5th would be celebrated every year as Minnesota Liberation Day.  In 1986, Minnesota Military Governor General Loraine Kaisar announced that Liberation



Will there be more?

Yes!  While we get ready for a final release of the 'zine, I'm planning on Sunday night releases of new teaser material each week, except for Teaser 4, which will be coming out on Satuday, January 30.  I might have to tweak this schedule a bit, but there were will a total of four teasers.

But these teasers aren't just previews - oh no.  These are background materials intended to supplement the story.  While I think that what I have in Werewolves Versus works just fine on its own, these teasers provide a bit of broadening to the setting and some of the characters, which just couldn't fit into the scope of a short story.  Think of them as the sort of stuff that you'd find on the "special features" menu of a DVD or Blu-Ray.
I don't often get into current events here, but I feel like recent atrocities in Paris, where I visited six months ago, have left me feeling compelled to say something.

Yesterday, I was at the United 93 Memorial.  It's a beautiful area - rolling grassy hills and forests, the site of a former mine being returned to nature.  Deer, raccoon, and fox tracks mark the dirt and gravel walking paths.  A doe ambled in the treeline and a heron flew around the man-made pond near the center of the park.  The visitor's center which sits atop a hill has tomb-like, somber architecture.  If you have good eyes, you can see the brown boulder that marks the crash site.  It's a silent place of reflection.  Aside from the heavy winds, there's really only one other noise...

"Mom?  I'm bored!  I hate this place"!  I want to go home!"  "Can we stop at the gift shop?"  "We should drive over there!  My feet hurt!"

That's how quickly it happens.  Fourteen years, two months, and two days and a nightmare fades from collective memory to become the museum that bores children to tears.  Emotions too painful to talk about become reports and dusty boxes of documents to be clinically dissected by analysts and historians.  In time, it turns into half-forgotten trivia.  It's a quiz in history class that gets blundered by a sleep-deprived teenaged mind, a blurb in a textbook that gets barely skimmed by an overworked college student, a question on jeopardy for $1000 that even the engineer who's been clearing the board all night gets wrong.

But maybe that needs to happen.  Maybe atrocities need to become something other than an open wound on our collective psyche.  There's a certain beauty to seeing the animal tracks - revitalization.  The world renews itself and while the emotions may fade, the memorial is still there for us to remember should we need it.  How could we feel any happiness if all we ever did was to live amid memories of atrocity?

I'd like to think that the fading of memory is actually a blessing in disguise because the problem with being a historian is the feeling of being old.  Emotional connections don't fade - not entirely.  You're attached to events that happened decades, centuries, or even millennia before you were born.  Your friends and family refuse to go to museums with you because they can't muster four hours for an interest in rusty muskets and moth-eaten clothes.  I suppose I've generally looked at this with heavy self-satisfaction and a deep feeling of superiority.  But lately... lately, I've started to feel that historian's premature age, that exhaustion that eats into the pride of recognizing the patterns behind human experience.

The fact is that I already know how today's story will end.  There will be other events, of course, as one event will alter the larger narrative.  History isn't a stop-and-finish short story, but rather some sort of mad blockbuster franchise of sequels, forgeries, and spin-offs where by the eighth movie, all of the original actors are gone, the plot barely resembles anything like the original, all sorts of new elements get added, even if the themes stay the same, and when the general public screams: "Enough!  Enough already!  Make something else!" they go and make a ninth movie.  If anything, history is worse - nothing, not even widespread disinterest, will end it.  That, I'm sorry to say, is beyond my ability to predict.  But in this small context, for the victims in Paris, I think I can reasonably predict the ending of the story.  And it's not what I think anyone today wants to hear.

Here's how it goes:

There's a child's voice in Paris at a memorial to the dead of 11/13/2015...

"Maman?  Je m'ennuie!  Je detest cet endroit!"
1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?
 
Since 2007 - seven years and change
 
2. What does your username mean?
 
A wolf of québécois descent... which is "French Canada" in 'Murican.  Nothing fancy here
 
3. Describe yourself in three words.
 
Cynical werewolf geek
 
4. Are you left or right handed?
 
Righty
 
5. What was your first deviation?

 

This thing: Paratrooper by QuebecoisWolf


I think it's a really cool photo, though I know it's dramatically different from most of my content.


6. What is your favourite type of art to create?
 
Writing - by default.  I'm incapable of anything resembling visual art that isn't embarrassing.  I've pretty much stayed in the werewolf genre in recent years, though obviously I've written other things outside of that before.
 
7. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?
 
Drawing or painting.  There are some ideas in my head that just don't translate very well to the writing medium.  I feel like if you can master both a visual and written art form, you've punched your ticket as an artist and have a lot of outlets for your imagination.  They really aren't the same skillsets at all, which is why it's so amazing when I come across folks like :iconteknicolortiger: and :iconviergacht: who demonstrate so much skill in multiple mediums.
  

8. What was your first favourite?


This thing from way back when: Kiro by WolfBane88


9. What type of art do you tend to favourite the most?


Werewolf art, obviously.  I love seeing artists' variations on these beasts.  Usually, though, I don't do a lot of faving of art that isn't stuff made for me (in that case, faving comes in handy by allowing me to group stuff together for character references).  I've always felt that comments are more important, especially for artists seeking feedback.

10. Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist?


Just picking one seems unfair.  I suppose it would be more appropriate to give a shout-out to the folks over at :iconwerewolf-horror: and :iconsilver-and-bone:  DA isn't just about celebrating artists, but celebrating the art.


11. If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?

Just about anyone in my circle of friends... but it would probably be better if I stuck with internet interaction.  I'm a very underwhelming person in real life and I feel like I can't measure up to the presence I have online. 
 
12. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?


People around here have inspired me to come out of my shell a bit and I can't believe how popular some of my characters have become.  It's been great to interact with far better artists and made me feel less like a fanboy and more like someone with an actual story to tell.  To list a few folks who have taken the time to inspire me and read my stuff, in no particular order...


:iconschwarzer-carnifex::iconlycanthropeheart::iconsomerandomplayer::iconpencilartguy::iconpenningtonbeast::iconkazeii::iconviergacht::iconteknicolortiger::iconjohnithan::iconjohnithan-walters::iconjoeyliverwurst::iconjustt-k::iconhowlitzer::iconhamstertoybox::iconlatent-ookami::iconkigai-holt::iconlonelycaon::icontalutahlittlecrow::iconr-daza::iconsiosin::iconsnoissesbo::iconpaladin-ciel::icondaemoniumnocturnal::iconfreakaru::iconredwolfmoon::iconsquarezer0::iconhunterbeinghunted::iconjzlobo::iconxilveros::iconaudes::iconana-mizuki::iconrussetwolf13:

This list is by no means exhaustive and I apologize if I missed anyone!  Comment and I'll happily add you!


13. What are your preferred tools to create art?


My laptop.  It's the only tool I really need for writing.

 
14. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?

Brutal honesty?  Work.  I have two jobs and both of them involve boring tasks and considerable downtime.  While I don't have time to pound out entire stories, I'll often make myself some notes for later use or at least run ideas through my head.

What is your favourite DeviantArt memory?

I notice that they aren't curious what my least favorite DeviantArt memory is too.  Maybe they're saving that question for their 16th Anniversary in the hopes that by then we've forgotten a certain policy regarding memberships?

But anyway, my favorite DeviantArt memory is waking up one morning to go to work and seeing this in my inbox:

At the time, DA didn't have the mentions system, so I didn't realize right away who that was until I clicked on it.


Though there's another moment worth noting... I still remember the afternoon when :iconlycanthropeheart: asked me for permission to draw Marcus and I stupidly told her that it "floored me" (i.e. made me furious) rather than "knocked me to the floor" with shock.  Unfortunately, I just couldn't believe that someone would find one of my characters interesting enough to just want to draw them and it left me too stunned to write coherently.
For the first time ever, the conversation at the lunchroom table today revolved around werewolves - how interesting they were, how cool they were, what powers they had, why they were superior to vampires, and why the werewolves in Twilight are the best version ever made because they're handsome, strong boys who always find their true love.

Sigh

The one and only time that I actually had a chance to talk about werewolves as part of a casual conversation and I was completely excluded from the conversation.
Hello everyone.

First off, I apologize to those who were deeply offended by writing that has been characterized as "vomitus," "awful in all conceivable definitions of the word," "mind-searingly painful to read," "fit only for immediate destruction, preferably by an illiterate person," and more positively "marginally better than Fifty Shades Darker."  I do hope that no one stopped watching me because of that, but it's always the danger of April Fools Day.

Secondly, I wanted to write this journal to ask my faithful watchers two important questions about that excerpt:

1. What did you find the funniest or silliest part?

2. What did you find the most depressing, irritating, or infuriating because you know that there's actual werewolf (or supernatural genre) work out there like this?


For your convenience, the infamous story in question is here:

Working on a New Story!Hey everyone.  I know I've been awfully quiet lately, but it's because I'm working up to something great!  I'm pleased to announce my new novel: Wolf Of Luna.  It's a story of love and romance where a handsome alpha male werewolf must overcome his curse and discover his love for an ordinary human woman named Luna.  Neither of them know it, but Luna is a woman prophesied by an ancient prophecy to be the one who tames the inner beast of the great alpha male and leads the werewolf race into a new tomorrow.  Against her stands all odds: evil werewolves, an evil government conspiracy, evil corporations, and even the dreaded vampires who wish for nothing but Luna's unhappiness.
It's new ground for me and I'm very excited.  I know that you guys are used to me writing stuff with all sorts of deconstructed genre cliches and sly social commentary, but I'll be returning to my roots to write this novel.  I've included an excerpt below so that y

Hey everyone.  I know I've been awfully quiet lately, but it's because I'm working up to something great!  I'm pleased to announce my new novel: Wolf Of Luna.  It's a story of love and romance where a handsome alpha male werewolf must overcome his curse and discover his love for an ordinary human woman named Luna.  Neither of them know it, but Luna is a woman prophesied by an ancient prophecy to be the one who tames the inner beast of the great alpha male and leads the werewolf race into a new tomorrow.  Against her stands all odds: evil werewolves, an evil government conspiracy, evil corporations, and even the dreaded vampires who wish for nothing but Luna's unhappiness.


It's new ground for me and I'm very excited.  I know that you guys are used to me writing stuff with all sorts of deconstructed genre cliches and sly social commentary, but I'll be returning to my roots to write this novel.  I've included an excerpt below so that you guys can see for yourselves:


***


Richard Wolf Of The Wolves came close, the soft fur on his chest as soft as the soft mink coat he'd given her as a gift.  He'd hunted it himself, he said, and that was far nobler than the evil of a fur farm.  Luna de la Fleur gently caressed his nightly black fur with gentleness.


"It's true," he said, a single tear rolling from his glowing azure eyes.  "I'm a monster.  A killer.  My kind are cursed.  We do not age because we are monsters.  What you see is the body of a killer."


"That's not true," said Luna.  "You're beautiful and everything a woman could ever want."


He was both masculine and sensitive, so unlike any male Luna had ever known, and perfect in every way.  His green eyes were like pools of deep, beautiful jade.  How could it be he loved her?  She was only a secretary and ever so ordinary.  Where most women were graceful, she was clumsy.  Where most women were beautiful, she was plain.  What could he see in her?  She didn't know.  It reminded her of Romeo and Juliet.


"But why do you love me?"  Said Luna.  "I'm only an ordinary woman.  Why wouldn't you want one of your own kind?  Certainly they aren't ordinary and plain like me."


She thought of Razurka, the harlot-like she-beast who always wore leather jackets and carried a Desert Eagle in her pocket.  But Richard just shook his head sadly.


"No male wants a woman like that," he said.  "She is a monster and a harlot, not a woman.  I have no interest in her."


"But Richard," she said.  "What about the marriage?  Won't she be angry when you don't marry her and she can't become alpha female?"


"Marriage should be built on true love," he said.  "I'm going to protect you from her, don't you worry.  You are a strong, independent woman.  I love you.  That's the only thing that matters.  Nothing else matters."


Luna understood.  She was always so nervous around him.  It must have been her nerves because she was a virgin and only an ordinary woman.


"But you should stay away from me," he said.  "You are a strong, independent woman, but I'm a killer and dangerous.  Even now, my wolf wants to devour your flesh.  It demands every fiber of my being to hold it back."


She had never heard anything that was so sensually romantic, so deeply romantic, and so romantically sensual all at once in her life.  She knew then that the prophecy was true: the beast would fall in love with the beauty and the beauty would fall in love with the beast.  It had to be true.  But how could it be true?  She'd only known the beautiful beast since Wednesday.


***


I hope you've enjoyed the story thus far and are hungering for more.  I'm really hoping that this story puts me on the map as a writer and I think it would make a great TV series.


If you have any questions (including those for the characters), I'd love to hear them!  Leave a comment below.
Why is there such a freakishly large amount of awful Five Nights at Freddy's fanfiction on DeviantArt and why is it so wildly popular?
I was tagged by :iconjustt-k:

You can tell a lot about someone by the music they listen to. Hit shuffle on your media player and write down the first five songs that play.

1. "Freak on a Leash" - Korn



2. "Full Moon" - Sonata Arctica



3. "The Day That Never Comes" - Metallica



4. "Danger!  High Voltage!" - Electric Six



5. "Centerfold" - J. Geils Band

Yep... I'm doing a double shot of this meme, courtesy of :iconlatent-ookami: and :iconhunterbeinghunted:!

Rules:
-You must tag 10 6 people
-You must answer 10 questions asked by your tagger and give 10 questions to the people you tag
-You must share ten things about yourself
-You must post these rules

Facts about me:

1. I'm a hardcore beer snob who takes beer as seriously as some people take wine.
2. I follow politics closely and have voted in every election since I turned 18.
3. I have dark brown hair often mistaken for black.
4. I'm a mod in two werewolf related groups, :iconwerewolf-horror: and :iconsilver-and-bone:.  Go check them out if you haven't already!
5. I know how to bake a cake from scratch and make them several times a year for birthdays.
6. I can't draw.  Period.  That despite the fact that I've actually taken art classes.
7. I created Aunt Broken Fang.
8. Winter has always been my favorite season.
9. I really enjoy mashing up literary genres to create something new.
10. My favorite color is red - and always has been.


Questions from :iconlatent-ookami::
1. What is that one item you can't live without?

My iPhone.  It's not just my list of contacts and a form of communication, but a way to access the internet.  I'm sure I could live without it, but it is awfully convenient.

2. If you could sum up your personality with one song what song would that be?

That's a tough one.  Maybe "Bitter Sweet Symphony."  Maybe.

3. What is you favorite/special childhood memory?

In fifth grade, my dad and I went to Hershey Park and rode every roller coaster at least twice (or more if it was a good one).

4. What pisses you off the most? That instant button pusher?

Shrill noises, including loud conversations about stupid topics.

5. Who's your favorite person?

My younger brother, even if he does drive me crazy sometimes.

6. What do you aspire to?

I'd like a better position - something more about presenting history to the public and organizing exhibitions rather than the behind-the-scenes stuff I do now.

7. Favorite Food?

I can't choose just one, but I really, really like pasta.  There's a dish made at a local place that's veal over pasta in a light marinara sauce with capers, crab meat, and sun-dried tomatoes.

8. What puts you into instant relaxation mode?

Sedatives and booze... though I wouldn't call that relaxing.  A better answer would probably be a hot tub and a cold drink.

9. If you could have a one on one conversation with someone who you most idolize/admire who would that be?

Living or dead?  Living: Mel Brooks  Dead: Abraham Lincoln

10. Chicken?

:iconchickenplz:

Only sometimes.  I like chicken parm, pad thai, and anything chicken with buffalo sauce involved.  Otherwise, not really.  I don't much like plain chicken.


Questions from :iconhunterbeinghunted:!
1. If you could choose one which would it be and why?: a)live eternally b)never age but still die after a certain amount of time you have chosen c) age but live long and never get physically in bad condition (wrinkly but never dementia or inability to walk and such) and then just die at a specific chosen age

Probably B.  "Never age" implies that you won't develop the later mentioned health problems associated with old age.  The problem with A is that it implies deteriorating health and physical condition with eternal life.  What kind of quality of life are you really going to have at 200, let alone 300, 400, or 500?  Or god forbid... 10,000?

2. You are able to become a mage, but you must choose only one kind of spells you are able to do, what would you choose? (summoning things? destructive magic? healing and fortifying magic? trickery of some kind? etc.)

I'd like to have telekinesis.

3. What are the top three or just three veryyyyy happy moments in your life?

Not the top three... that would be too difficult

-graduating high school (graduating college at the beginning of the recession wasn't so happy...)
-my trip to Paris
-Christmas morning, 1997

4. If being able to get any job right now/in future, what would it be? If you have your dream job already what is it? 

I want to be the curator of a WWII museum

5. Best food ever and can you make it yourself?

I think I could reproduce the pasta recipe I mentioned in the previous question 7.  Getting the sauce right might be something of a challenge though - I'm not a very good saucier and I usually modify canned sauce rather than start from scratch.

6. What would you never eat? (must be food and an generally edible thing xD)

Anything involving pumpkin

7. If you could go back in time and change something would you and what? if not why?

Good lord... just one thing?  Well... there is one that led to a really nasty chain of events.  I'd like to have Czar Alexander decide to peacefully step down during the 1905 Russian Revolution.  Doing so completely changes the course of events in Europe.  WWI would have happened differently - if at all - meaning that Hitler, Lenin, and Stalin would not have come into power.

8. Would you want death penalty as a punishment in your country?

I do have it as a punishment in my country.  What I'd like to see is some sort of uniformity across states as well as far fewer executions than we have now, saving it for only the most extreme of crimes - something even more monstrous than murder.  To be honest, I'd rather not have it at all than to do what the US does now.

9. Do you want kids in the future/already have them?

I don't have any, but maybe.  No idea when.

10. What kinda place would your dream home be located in and what would it be like?

Someplace quiet, in nature, and with plenty of land.  I don't really need a big house, but I'd like someplace with a guest room and a big garage.  It's hard to choose.  I do like the beach, but I'm not adverse to mountains and snow too.


My Questions for you!

1. Do you have a favorite werewolf?  Or at least one you like?
2. Can you cook?  If so, what do you consider your specialty?
3. Do you dress up for Halloween?  Will you be dressing up this year?
4. Do you like card games, board games, both, or neither?
5. Do you smoke?
6. What kind of job do you have?  (office, retail, outdoor work, factory, etc)
7. Vacation time!  Do you prefer the beach, mountains, city, or something else?
8. Do you have a license to drive?  How about a car?
9. Do you ever prank people?
10. What's your favorite kind of music?


Not the biggest fan of tagging... this is purely optional, but I wanted to tag some folks I know.

:iconsorien:  :iconschwarzer-carnifex:  :iconjzlobo:  :iconwolf-biter:  :iconpencilartguy:  :iconsomerandomplayer:
Ask me anything!  I can't guarantee that I'll fully answer it, but I'll do my very best.
Tagged by: :iconlonelycaon:


The Basics

001. Real name: Not Quebecoiswolf
002. Nickname(s): Don't have one
003. Zodiac Sign: Taurus - like the car
004. Male or Female: Male
005. Nursery: Somewhere in Maryland?  Yes, that's the same answer as Viergacht... no I didn't go to nursery school with him.
006. Primary School: A snobby private elementary school
007. Secondary School: A snobby high school
008. Hair Color: Brown
009. Long or Short: Neither - about average
010. Loud or Quiet: Quiet.  Loud people are the bane of me.
011. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
012: Phone or Camera: Phone.  My camera is broken
013. Health Freak: Not at all
014. Drink or Smoke: Drink.  I don't smoke except for the very, very occasional cigar.  The trouble with smoking is that you smell bad, people don't appreciate it, and there's hardly anywhere you can smoke anyway... sure I could smoke at home, I don't want to stink up the house.  Yeah... I'm no smoker.
015. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Nope.  Not in years
016. Political orientation: Libertarian with liberal sensibilities
017. Piercings: Nope.  I'm allergic to nickel.
018. Tattoos: God no... I don't even put bumper stickers on my car
HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]
019. Airplane: Yep
020. Car Accident: Yep
021. Fist Fight: A few; all of them in my elementary school years.  I'm not a violent or confrontational person by nature and I'm a sucky fighter, but a few years ago, I did intervene in one.


FIRSTS

022. First piercing: I haven't and don't plan on it.
023. First Best Friend: I was best friends with the only other kid my age in my neighborhood until he moved.
024. First Instrument: Kazoo!
025. First award: I won the science fair in fourth grade
026. First Crush: You wouldn't know her
027. First Language: American
028. First Big Vacation: I went to the beach for a week when I was three years old.  I dimly remember it.


LASTS

029. Last Person you talked to: My younger brother
030. Last Person You Texted: One of my coworkers
031. Last Person You Watched: Watched?  On DA?  No idea.  In real life, my boss.  I snuck out five minutes early and had to make sure he wasn't looking.
032. Last Food You Ate: TACO!! :icontaco-plz:
033. Last Movie You Watched: The Wild Bunch
034. Last Song You listened to: "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" - Elton John



035. Last Thing You Bought: One :iconcokeplz:
036. Last Person You Hugged: My dad.  It was at my grandmother's funeral, unfortunately.


FAVES

037. Food: Veal picatta in a white wine sauce over thin spaghetti with capers, roasted red peppers, and crab meat
038. Drinks: Very favorite ever?  Dogfish Head Squall India Pale Ale
039. Clothing: Clothes... I really don't care
040. Book: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
041. Color: Red
042. Flower: Cake flour - it gives cakes a very smooth, fine texture... oh wait...
043: Music: 70s and 80s Classic Rock
044. Movie: A cliche choice, but I really like the original Godfather
046. Subjects: History.  I like it enough to make a living from it


IN THE PAST YEAR I...

047. [ ] Kissed in the rain
048. [ ] Celebrated Halloween.
049. [ ] Had Your Heart Broken
050. [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone
051. [X] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation
052. [X] Weapons.  Did what with weapons?  Bought one?  Practiced with one?  I'm sure I did something that answers this "question" given that I'm a gun collector.
053. [ ] Breath fire
054. [ ] Had an Abortion
055. [X] Done something you've Regretted
056. [ ] Broke a Promise
057. [X] Kept a Secret
058. [X] Pretended To Be Happy
059. [X] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life
060. [ ] Pretended To Be Sick
061. [ ] Left The Country
062. [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn't like, and liked it.
063. [ ] Cried Over The Silliest Thing.
064. [ ] Ran a Mile
065. [ ] Went To the Beach
066. [X] Stayed Single


CURRENTLY

067. Eating: Nothing
068. Drinking: Nothing
069. Getting Ready To: Eat dinner
070. Listening To: My dryer signal
071. Plans For Tomorrow/Today: Work, work, work, work...
072. Waiting For: The dryer to finish


YOUR FUTURE

073. Want Kids: Maybe.  I don't know.
074. Want To Get Married: Maybe.  I don't know about that either.
075. Careers in mind: I'd love to write a novel.


WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL

076. Lips or Eyes: Eyes.
077. Shorter or Taller: Taller
078. Romantic or Spontaneous: Romantic I think... I like planning and I appreciate it when people make elaborate plans for fun or romance
079. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: Stomach
080. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive.  I've already expressed my feelings on loud people.
081. Hook-up Or Relationship: Hook-up.  I suck with relationships.
082. Troublemaker or Hesitant:  Hesitant.  Though I'm biased since I've known a lot of serious troublemakers... as in selling drugs and getting DUIs.


HAVE YOU EVER

083. Lost Glasses/Contacts: I don't wear 'em
084. Ran Away From Home: No
085. Held A Weapon for Self Defense:  And Uncle Sam paid me for it too!
086. Killed Somebody: Nope.
087. Broken Someone's Heart: No
088. Been Arrested: Hell no.
089. Discovered that this list is missing question No. 89?  Clearly I did... it's right here.


DO YOU BELIEVE IN

090. Yourself: ...maybe.
091. Miracles: No.
092. Love at First Sight: In theory, sure, but not really.  People tend to learn that they love each other.  Lust at first sight though...
093. Heaven: No
094. Santa Claus: I believe that Saint Nicholas was a real person, so... yes!
096. Magic: No.


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

097. Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: Yes.
098. Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life:  Kinda, I suppose.
099. Are You Happy With The Person You're With: But I'm not with anyone...