The Hollywood Record
October 12, 1955
Eisenhower Signs Anti-Lycanthropy Defense Act
Government hopes to manage outbreaks of Chronic Female Lycanthropy
By Sam Finnegan, Politics Reporter
Citing rates of infection at nearly 1% among American women and ongoing but fruitless research for a cure, President Eisenhower signed the Anti-Lycanthropy Defense Act of 1955 into law yesterday. This vital, long overdue piece of legislature promises to give the U.S. Government the vital regulations it needs to manage the disease.
The road has been a long one. Senator George (D-GA) introduced legislation to manage Chronic Female Lycanthropy early last year. Unfortunately, the bill soon faltered. Both parties fiercely debated every measure of the bill due to cost, specific segregative measures to be taken, deployment of