literature

A Case of Identity

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“She’s coming over... oh, she’s not-aaaand she’s coming over again...and she’s not... and she’s walking over again... and she’s leaving... weird... now she’s coming back”

“I’ve seen those kind of behaviour before.” Jim said as he crumpled the paper he was writing on and threw it over his shoulders, hitting Leo on the back of his head.

Leo jumped and whirled around, glaring daggers at the Zigzagoon culprit. “Jim, for the last time, don’t throw your things at my head!”

“Pacing up and down the pavement always meant an affaire de coeur, and I really don’t have time for this!” The Zigzagoon shouted in extreme agitation, crumpling yet another piece of paper and stood up, glaring around with his intense blue eyes. “I told Spencer that he can take the cases to himself, but nooooooo, he just had to dump everything to me, hasn’t he? My study on Chargestone electromagnetic values is more important than this silly little love affair!”

Leo walked away from the window and regarded the Zigzagoon questioningly. “What makes you so certain that your client is having a love affair?”

“See here.” Jim said impatiently, plopping to his armchair. “You said that the girl was walking up and down the pavement, like she’s really unsure that she really want to come for an advice, as the matter is too delicate for consultation, and I had my fair share of love affair cases with Spencer to know one.”

As he spoke, the doorbell rang twice, and quite impatiently too if Leo would say. Ms Turner went to greet the client downstairs and they ascended to the second level right at the next minute. There was a knock on the door and Jim went to open it.

Ms Turner was with a young Gardevoir, probably a year older or two than Jim, draped in what appeared to be a very stylish and expensive deep red coat, a large maroon broad brimmed hat with a stylishly curled feather slipped on the brim, tilted rather fashionably to one side, and on her left arm hung a small white handbag. She smiled rather shyly at Jim and Leo before Ms Turner introduced her to the two flatmates.

“This is Miss Merlyn Sutherland.” The elderly Meowstic said with a smile. “Now go on dear. There’s nothing to be afraid of. They are the nicest gentlemen I know.” She shot a stern look at Jim as she said ‘nicest gentlemen’

Jim got it fairly quickly as he shot the Gardevoir a charming, welcoming sort of smile and bowed her to the spare armchair by the fireplace as Ms Turner closed the door quietly behind them. Merlyn hovered about the door for a few seconds before she glided in a well-practiced grace towards the armchair and sat.

“So, Miss Sutherland.” Jim started in a surprisingly friendly tone. Leo stared. “Didn’t you find it odd, as someone with short sightedness it a little trying to do so much typing?”

The Gardevoir nodded shyly. “I did, at first. But I’ve gotten used to it and I seemed to have memorized the position of the keys by now-“ her eyes suddenly went wide and she shot up so fast that she literally hovered a few feet from the ground, looking at Jim with astonishment. “How did you know? You must have heard about me, or-or...” she blushed. “Have you been spying on me?”

Jim gave a snort. “No, no... we’ve just met, and I couldn’t have known where you lived.” He laughed before he calmed down. “I tend to know things that others don’t. Perhaps I had been trained to observe what others overlook. Anyway, I take it you went to my brother first?”

“Y-yes...” she nodded. “But he said to come to see you instead.”

Jim huffed, clearly displeased. “Alright, so why did you come to consult my brother in such a hurry?”  he said, leaning lazily on his chair.

Ms Sutherland gave another start. “W-why yes... I did rush out of the house...” she said as her expression hardened. “I was angry at my father as he dismissed my problem so easily... he wouldn’t go to the Royal Guards, and he wouldn’t go to your brother. He’s content with sitting around the house and saying that no harm was done... I was fed up and, and I came straight to your brother.”

“Who brought you to me.” Jim finished dryly before he sat straighter and looked at Ms Sutherland in the eye. “Your father...”

“My stepfather.” She corrected. “I call him father though, oddly, as he’s fifty years older than me... His name is Jefferson Windibank. And he’s a Metagross if you are wondering.”

“Duly noted.” Jim nodded. “And your mother is alive?”

“Oh, yes, she is. I wasn’t really happy when she married so quickly with my stepfather after my father’s death. Father -my biological father- worked as a berry trader in Coinner Court Road, which mother carried on with my father’s business friend, Mr Mortimer. But when Mr Windibank came, he made mother sell the business as he was a very successful wine merchant. We got twenty seven thousand five hundred and fifty Stars for the goodwill and interest, which wasn’t as near as my father would get for ten years.”

Leo had expected Jim to interrupt the Gardevoir’s rambling, like he had done with several other clients that had been quite unlucky to be rejected by Spencer. But surprisingly, the Zigzagoon was listening with rapt attention.

“What about your little income? Your job as a typist?”

“Oh, it’s alright I guess. And it’s quite separate from Mr Windibank’s wine business. I work for my uncle’s printing business. And the income’s sufficient if I would say, 2500 Stars a year.”

Jim hummed thoughtfully. “You are very interesting. And since you have such a large income, no doubt you could indulge yourself in every way.”

“Oh, I could do with the income much less than that, Mr Holford.” Said Ms Sutherland earnestly. “As I don’t like to be a burden to my family, being a full grown Gardevoir myself.”

“I see.” Jim nodded. “By the way, this is my friend, Dr Leonard O’Seinn. He’s my assistant. I assure you that you can speak freely to him and me. Now, tell me about your problem.”

“Oh. My problem...” the Gardevoir fidgeted with her hat and blushed. “Well, his name is Harvey Angleo. I met him at my cousin’s engagement party. Mr Windibank didn’t want to let my mother and I go for some reason, stating that he wasn’t comfortable with crowds. Though, I just suspected that he was being overly protective. He can get quite angry if I said I wanted to go out shopping with my friends...” she sighed. “But I was resolved to go out there, and he tried to stop me by saying that I didn’t have business with my cousin, who is mother’s third brother’s son, and he said that I do not have anything fit to wear, when I have a perfectly suitable dress myself, which I had bought recently. But it turns out that he had to go overseas at the night of the party. So my mother and I went our way to my cousin’s place.  I danced with several of my friends before I found myself dancing with a charming young Metagross by the name of Harvey Angelo.”

“I see. Well,” Jim said, “I take it your stepfather was not pleased when knew that you and your mother went to the party?”

“Oh, yes. He was. He tried to hide it really well, but I can see his face flushing with anger. But he didn’t say anything and left with a huff.”

Jim nodded, bringing his fingers under his chin and looking at his client thoughtfully. “And what of Harvey Angleo?”

“Well, we met the very next day as I was walking to my uncle’s office. We talked for a while before we separated. He was very nice and courteous.” said Ms Sutherland with a faraway look. She blinked several times before she continued. “We then met every other day, went twice for a stroll, before my father found out. It got increasingly difficult just to talk to him since then. So, we resorted to send each other letters. We wrote every day, exchanging news. I took the letters early in the morning so that father would not know.”

“Hmm... were you two already a couple?”

Ms Sutherland blushed a deep red color. “Oh, yes... he asked if I would like to be his girlfriend the third week we started to write to each other.”

“This Mr Angelo. What does he do?”

“Oh, he works as a cashier in an office in Leadford Street -and-“

“What office?”

“T-that’s what I don’t know Mr Holford.” The Gardevoir admitted.

“Where did he live then?”

“Garrison Road. Flat 22 No 3 .”

Leo raised an eyebrow. They sent each other letters for three weeks and she didn’t know where he worked and lived?

“So where did you address the letters then?”

“To the Leadford Street Post Office, to be left until he picked them up. He would get into trouble if his co-workers and manager found out that he had been writing to me all the time.”

“And you used your typewriter to write the letters, yes?”

“Yes. Of course.” She nodded.  

“Then...” Leo interjected just as Jim was about to open his mouth. “Can you give us details of Mr Harvey? His physical appearance, and all?”

Jim shot the Vaporeon an annoyed glare before turning to his client and motioned her to go on.

“Well, certainly.” The Gardevoir nodded. “He was quite the shy Metagross. He preferred nightly stroll rather than the day. His voice was quite hoarse, but soft. And he always wore this pair of gold spectacles and tended to walk rather than hovering around like any other Metagross. In daylight, he would wear tinted spectacles as his eyes are quite sensitive to the light.”

“I see. So, what happened?”

Ms Sutherland suddenly went stiff and she slumped against the arm chair. Her eyes moist with tears. “T-that’s what I don’t understand, Mr Holford. We kept writing to each other as usual, and he offered me for a stroll one day. It was just when father was to go overseas again to take care of another wine shipment. We met at the usual place, the Jaune Gardens. We talked and parted like we always did. The next day however, came a letter from him with only two words and his signature.”

“And those words, are?” Jim prompted.

“They are: I’m sorry.” The Gardevoir said. “There were no more letters from him since that day. It seems that he had disappeared from the face of Parai. I’ve went to check Leadford Street, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. There are a couple of offices there, but no one seemed to know of Harvey at all. But his lodgings in Garrison Road was ransacked and there hadn’t been any trace of him.” she sobbed.

Jim and Leo were silent for a moment. “You think that he had been kidnapped?” Jim asked.

“Yes. I believe so. But why did he say he’s sorry?”

“But you have no notion as to what it could have been?”

“No.”

“One more question. How did your parents take the matter?”

“W-well, mother was angry and devastated and had asked father to call the Royal Guards for help. But father was furious about the matter and said I was never to speak of the matter again.” She choked through her sobs. “He also said that I shouldn’t engage with Mr Harvey in the first place, and told me to swear off any kind of relationships.” She pulled a little handkerchief from her coat and began to dab her eyes on it. “Please Mr Holford, I’m relying on you to find Mr Harvey. I can’t sleep imagining where he might be right now and why did he disappear.”

“Well, rest assured, I’m going to solve the case for you.” Jim said, rising from the chair. “And I’m pretty sure I have a grasp of what’s happened.  For now, don’t let your mind dwell on it further.”

“Alright.” Ms Sutherland sniffed and stood up. “I advertised him in the fliers two days ago. I gave a pretty accurate description of him.” She reached in to her handbag and pulled out several envelopes and papers. “These are his letters and the flier.”

“Thank you.” Jim took the letters and tossed it to Leo, who barely caught it. “And your address?”

“No. 31 Pyron Place.”

“And your father- stepfather’s business address?”

“Weston Brown shipping house. At Fernclot Square, Mr Holford.”

“Thank you, I’ll study the papers here. Don’t let the whole incident affect your life, Ms Sutherland.” Jim said. “I would suggest to cool things down and do whatever you are doing. I might mail you this evening if I’m lucky.”

The Gardevoir’s expression brightened. “You’re very kind, Mr Holford. Thank you for your help.” She curtsied slightly and turned to the door, adjusting the hat before she disappeared under the stairs.  

Jim’s smile vanished the second the door was closed. He quickly strode back to his chair and sunk in, fingers crossed together with a very deep frown on his face.

Leo placed the letters carefully on the table and began to read them one by one. “Well,” he sighed. “Harvey Angleo was quite the gentlemen.” He remarked.

“Are they typewritten?”

“Yeah.”

“Even the signature?”

“Yep.”

“Let me see.” Jim turned and outstretched his arm. “Interesting...” he muttered when he read one of the letters. He then began to compare them one by one. “The signature is typewritten, and there is a date, but no superscription except Leadford Street, which is vague. The signature itself is very suggestive. In fact, it is almost conclusive.”

Leo blinked, joining Jim on the table, peering at the letters. “Of what?”

“Didn’t you see how this strongly bears on this case?” Jim said excitedly, grinning like a loon. Leo could only shake his head.

“The only think I get is that Miss Sutherland had been framed by this Harvey Angelo, whoever he is.”

“That is only half of the point, Leo.” Jim said. “I’ll explain later. Now, I have to write to Weston Brown Shipping and Mr Windibank, asking him if he could come and meet us with her stepdaughter tomorrow evening. “

Leo stared. “Okaaay, so I guess we should wait until tomorrow then.”

Jim shook his head. “On the contrary, Leo, we’ll be killing two birds with one stone. Help me to construct questions while I write the letters.” He darted off the living room.

“What kind of questions?”

“Any kind! Like what’s your favourite colour, what do you do in your spare time, and all of that nonsense!” Jim shouted from his room just as the door was slammed shut, before it opened and Jim popped his head out. “Oh, and will you be so kind and call Billy in? He’s just outside by the diner across the street.” Then he slammed the door again.

The Vaporeon sighed in annoyance and went to the window. He saw the familiar looking Zorua hanging around by himself by the alley next to the small diner right across the flat. Leo slid open the window and stretched his head out, calling for the kid.

***

The next day, Leo was called by Tristan to Markus in the Yacht. The Zangoose engineer apparently had sprained his ankle badly during his usual checkup on the Anti/Matter Core and machines. Then he assisted Natasha to do some system diagnostics in the ship before he went back to 2nd Bacan Avenue around late noon.

He found Jim huddled in the kitchen, surrounded by an array of bottles, microscopes, and test-tubes which he had set up on the dining table. The air smelled like acid, and Jim hadn’t bothered to open the window at all. He was too engrossed in his study that he didn’t even notice Leo opening the kitchen windows.

“So, have you solved it?” Leo coughed as a draft of fresh air entered the room.

“Hmm? Oh not quite. It’s the bisulphate of baryta and some odd looking citric acid-”

“I meant the case.”

“Oh, that! I thought you were asking of my study on the stones.” He gestured to the array of glowing blue pebbles resting on the table. “There was never any mystery in the case, really. Only the details are interesting enough.”

Leo waited for Jim to continue, but he was interrupted by some heavy steps from the hallway outside, and several knock on the door.

“Oh, they are here.” Jim shed off his white lab coat, washed his hands off and closed the kitchen door. He opened the door and entered Miss Sutherland and a sturdy looking Megatross with penetrating grey eyes and insinuating manner. The Gardevoir was standing timidly beside her stepfather, looking around restlessly. Though, she had a spark of hope in her eyes when she saw Jim’s encouraging smile.

“Evening, Mr Jefferson Windibank.” Jim said in a very professional manner. “I assume this is from you?” he asked, showing the Metagross a typewritten letter that asked Jim to meet at 6 o’clock sharp.

“Yes, though I must apologize for being late, also for the trouble Miss Sutherland had brought you for this small, insignificant matter.” He shot the Gardevoir a look. “It was quite against my wishes that she came, but she is a very excitable, impulsive girl, as you know. And she’s not easily controlled when she has made up her mind on a point. Of course, I’m glad that she came to you instead to the Royal Guards, as I did not like my family matters being spread about like some useless gossip. Anyway, I’m sorry for the useless expense she had brought you, for how could you possibly find his Harvey Angelo?”

Leo glared at the Metagross. But before he could say his opinion on the Metagross, Jim beat him to it.

“On the contrary, I believe I will succeed in finding the elusive Mr Angelo.” He smiled. “But before we get to that, I would like to ask some questions.” He motioned for Leo to give him the questionnaire.

Mr Windibank sighed dryly. “Go ahead.”

“First of all, do you write often?”

“Hmm? Yes. Writing is part of my hobby.”

“And what’s your other hobby?”

“Tasting my own brand of wine.” He told them proudly. “Specifically grown on our private garden in the countryside. I pride in their exquisite taste.”

“I see.” Jim nodded. “And what do you do on your spare time, Mr Windibank? What did you write?”

“Oh, some articles, logbooks, and letters to my colleague and family friends.” He answered. “As for my spare time, I would go on a stroll or enjoying myself on a cup of coffee by the café.”

The Zigzagoon wrote it down, muttering, “...enjoys coffee and small walks... So.” He cleared his throat. “Interesting.”

“What is?” the Metagross said impatiently. “I do not have time for some small talk.”

“Contrariwise, I think you have all the time in the world, Mr Windibank. You said you write articles?” Jim prompted.

“Yes. Precisely like I told you.” The Metagross answered gruffly.

“Well, it’s a really interesting coincidence that I sometimes liked to write articles myself.” Jim said, now pacing the room. “I’ve used to write several articles on crime and the behaviour of criminals and psychopaths. I take it you wrote essays on wine variations and tastes?”

“I do.” Mr Windibank nodded, looking quite surprised. “How did you know of this?”

“I came by one of your essays this morning.” Jim gestured to the flyer-like newspaper on the table. “They are very well written, if I say so myself.”

“Thank you.”

“It is a curious thing, however, “ Jim remarked, his eyes glinting intensely. “that a typewriter has quite as much individuality as one’s handwriting. Unless they are quite new, no two of them produced the exact same result. Some letters get more worn than others, and some developed a defect over time. Like leaning to the left or right, et cetera, et cetera.” He waved his paws around. “Now, in your letter, and a few of your articles, Mr Windibank, in every case there is some little slurring over the ‘e’, and a slight defect in the tail of the ‘r’. There are fourteen other characteristics, like the uneven spaces between the ‘a’ and ‘n’, and so on, but those are the more obvious.”

Mr Windibank rolled his eyes. “I used the same kind of typewriter at the office to write Mr Holford, no doubt there will be some defects in the machine.”

“You are absolutely right, Mr Windibank. Now, I will show you a very fascinating discovery.” Jim continued, taking Harvey Angelo’s letters. “Here I have six letters which was written -or should I say typed- by our missing man, Mr Harvey Angelo. I found out that the ‘e’s’ are slurred and the ‘r’s tailless, and remarkably, I found many other defects, fourteen in total, of characteristics in each letter, like I have told you before.”

Leo blinked, turning to his Zigzagoon flatmate with wide eyes. “Jim,” he began slowly. “You don’t mean-“

Miss Sutherland seemed to come into the same conclusion as well, as she paled considerably. “B-but surely, Mr Holford-“

Mr Windibank hovered up so suddenly that his step daughter started in surprise, his grey eyes blazing. “I do not have time for this fantastic talk, Mr Holford. If you can find the man, catch him, and let me know when you’ve done it.” He said coldly and started for the door. But Jim was faster, and in the next second, he was leaning over the door, blocking the Metagross’ exit.

“Oh, but where are you going, Mr Windibank? The fun part had just started,” He grinned. “For I had found Mr Angelo.”

The three other occupants in the room looked at the lanky Zigzagoon in shock, and with different reactions.

“What?! Jim, have you really?”

“What! Where?!” Mr Windibank shouted, glancing around, his eyes wild as if trying to locate a hidden Pokémon behind Jim’s furnitures.

“Mr Holford, why didn’t you tell me?” cried Ms Sutherland half in shock, and half in disbelief.

Jim only chuckled and smiled. “Oh, it won’t do really.” He said. “No need to be alarmed. Well, Mr Angelo’s right over there.”

The three ‘mons turned their heads towards the kitchen, where Jim had pointed to. The glass doors slid open and out walked another Metagross, wearing a pair of gold rimmed spectacles and light grey coloured eyes. The most interesting part is that the Metagross was quite small in stature.

Jim’s clients were quite shocked to say the least.

Mr Windibank was staring at the other Metagross as if he had seen a ghost. He paled considerably, and he was shaking. “That- that’s just not possible. I-It can’t be!” he stammered out.

Jim was smiling very brightly, almost manically however. “Ah! Thank you Mr Windibank, for that’s the exact reaction I was looking for.”

Again, three heads turned to Jim in shock.

“W-what do you mean?”

“Billy, that would be enough.” Jim said, nodding towards Havery. But Harvey’s form shimmered and shrunk. His blue colored body darkened into jet black and red, and his grey eyes turned light blue. The next second, everyone was staring at a slightly dirty and mangy looking Zorua with messy hair, wearing a dusty plain blue vest.

“But- but...”

“Forgive me Miss Sutherland, but it had to be done. You see, Mr Harvey-“

“You dare to trick us, Mr Holford?!” Mr Windibank, who seemed to have found his voice, roared. Jim took it in stride.

“Mr Windibank, may I suggest you to sit down?” he said flatly.

“H-how dare you!” the Metagross hovered towards Jim, eyes flashing.

“SIT DOWN!” Jim roared, startling everyone into silence, even Mr Windibank. Who would have thought that a small and thin Zigzagoon as Jim can shout so loud.

“Now.” Jim continued with his normal tone of voice. “Mr Windibank, if you will.” He nodded towards the sofa. “And Miss Sutherland, I suggest you sit down too.”

Both quickly did as they were told.

Jim took a deep breath and turned to Billy. “You can go now. Here’s your pay.” He gave the 10 year old one star coin, and the little Pokémon darted away. The Zigzagoon then turned to the Metagross, his bright blue eyes cold with controlled furry.

“May I just say, Mr Windibank, that you have been a complete and utter prick.” He said icily. The Metagross opened his mouth to retort but Jim was in a charade. He continued, not giving Mr Windibank any chance to speak. “I am very much afraid that it is not, but between the three of us, Windibank, it was as cruel and selfish and heartless trick in a petty way I’ve ever encountered before. Now let me just run over the course of events, and you can contradict me if I went wrong, ONLY when I’ve finished.”

The Metagross could only nod.

Jim took a deep breath, and went to explain. “You clearly married Mrs Sutherland for her money, and you enjoyed the use of your stepdaughter’s money as she was living under your roof. It was a considerable sum for people in their position, and any loss of it would have made a serious difference. It was worth an effort to preserve it. Your daughter was of a good, amiable disposition, but affectionate and warm-hearted in her ways, so that it was evident that with her fair personal advantages, and her little income, she would not be allowed to remain single long. Now her marriage would mean, of course, the loss of a hundred a year, so what does her stepfather do to prevent it? He takes the obvious course of keeping her at home and forbidding her to seek the company of people of her own age. But soon he found that she would not answer forever. She became restive, insisted upon her rights, and finally announced her positive intention of going to a certain ball. What does her clever stepfather do then? He conceives an idea more creditable to his head than to his heart. He disguised himself, covered those keen eyes with tinted glasses, sunk that clear voice into an insinuating whisper, and resorted to walk instead of hovering like any Metagross would, and doubly secure on account of the girl's short sight, he appears as Mr Harvey Angelo, and keeps off other lovers by making love himself.”

“It-it was only a joke at first,” Mr Windibank stammered much to her stepdaughter’s surprise. “I never thought that she- you would have been carried away...”

“What did I say about interrupting me?” Jim glared. “Good. Well, it was very likely not. However that may be, the young lady was very decidedly carried away, and, having quite made up her mind that her stepfather was abroad, the suspicion of treachery never for an instant entered her mind. She was flattered by the gentleman's attentions. Then Mr Angelo began to call, for it was obvious that the matter should be pushed as far as it would go if a real effect were to be produced. There were meetings, writings, and so on, which would finally secure the girl's affections from turning towards anyone else. But the deception could not be kept up forever. The thing to do was clearly to bring the business to an end in such a dramatic manner that it would leave a permanent impression upon the young lady's mind and prevent her from looking upon any other suitor for some time to come. Hence your ‘mysterious disappearance’ with two worded letter, and made a mess of the little flat you had rented for months since you went out with Miss Sutherland, and made your merry way back home. I think that was the chain of events, Mr Windibank!”

The Metagross seemed to have recovered his assurance while Jim had been talking. With a cold sneer on his face, he rose and regarded Jim coldly.

“F-father? Is this true?” came Ms Sutherland’s timid, disbelieving voice. “Have you been tricking me?”

Mr Windibank ignored her completely. “It may be so, or it may not, Mr Holmes," he said, "but if you are so smart as you claimed, you ought to be sharp enough to know that it is you who are breaking the law now, and not me. I have done nothing actionable from the first, but as long as you keep that door locked you lay yourself open to an action for assault and illegal constraint.”

“Oh, I’m inclined to contradict you, Mr Windibank. For I clearly have the evidence of your deception right at here.” He said, motioning for the letters in his hand. “You know, I would be personally brought you to the Royal Guards myself, but I think that if there was a man who deserved punishment more, it is you, Windibank. If Miss Sutherland has a brother or a friend, they ought to lay a whip across the shoulders, like this!”

Without warning, Jim reached to the side of the mantelpiece, and took out a large steel riding corp and swished it around. There was a gasp from the Gardevoir, a loud clatter and bang as the door was slammed open as Jefferson Windibank bolted top speed out of the room and down the stairs. Then, there was his unmistakable shriek of surprise and the sound of something heavy hitting the wall.

“Ha! Got him!” Jim grinned, tossing the riding corp through his shoulders and ran down the stairs. Leo followed with a very pale faced Merlyn behind him and went down the stairs. To their surprise, they found a small group of Royal Guard and a chained, disoriented Metagross.

“Well, I clearly did not see him running down to us.” Said one of the Royal Guards, who happened to be a familiar Mightyena. “You called, Jim?”

“Yes, thank you for coming in such short notice, Stradlessen.” The Zigzagoon nodded. “Take him away. I’ll give you the full explanation later.”

“Alright.” Stradlessen nodded, and motioned for his men to escort Mr Windibank away. “Well, I’ll be waiting for your explanation, Jim.”

Jim nodded. “I’ll follow in a minute. I think I have some clearance to do with Miss Sutherland.” He nodded towards the Gardevoir who was slumped against the wall. “By the way, Leo. Why don’t you take this to the Guild headquarters in the meantime?” he handed the Vaporeon the questionnaire. “I think Alexandre will be quite happy to see this.”

“Oh.” Leo blinked. “So this is what you meant by killing two birds in one stone.” He sighed and folded the paper. “Alright. So we’ll meet back here?”

“Just go on, Leo.” Jim said, turning to Miss Sutherland with an apologetic smile. 

Client: Alexander
Errand Number: #6
Date Issued: 7/18/2014
Date Due: 7/22/2014 


Errand #6 for Team Datum. 

Adapted from the original story of the same title by A.C. Doyle

Team App: Datum

-Cameo:
Gregor Stradlessen, Royal Guard officer © Me
© 2014 - 2022 Quarteon01
Comments10
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Nox-Nemoris's avatar
Let's start with the errors first:-

"Ms Turner was with a young Gardevoir, probably a year older or two than Jim..."

Shouldn't it be Miss Sutherland?

“It may be so, or it may not, Mr Holmes..."

I guess Jim uses Holmes as a pseudonym?

Okay, now the sentence structure, more specifically the use of punctuation marks and capitalization.

1) 
“They are: I’m sorry.” The Gardevoir said. ~ "They are--I'm sorry," the Gardevoir said.

Since you are describing her action, this case being 'said', you have to use a comma instead of a period. Also, don't use colon in dialogue. Use an em dash to show emphasis instead.

2) "...
running down to us.” Said one of the Royal Guards... ~ "...running down to us," said one of the Royal Guards...

Similar to the above.

3) 
“H-how dare you!” the Metagross hovered...

The T should be capitalized, hovering doesn't exactly produce any words.

4) 
“Jim,” he began slowly. “You don’t mean-“

Use an em dash instead at the end there.

5) "...
part had just started,” He grinned.

Again, grinning doesn't actually produce any words. Replace the comma with a period.

I also have an issue with Jim's deduction. The first paragraph had ten sentences while the second paragraph had nine, ALL of them connected in continuous fashion. You should break them apart, perhaps by mentioning Jim doing something like picking something up or smoothing out his fur.

All is all, it was a good read. It's a simple case really. The length and the characters just made it more complex than usual. 

Bonus points for the riding crop.