FoV : Marital Troubles

Dianella felt ill. She couldn’t help flinching at the terrible sight of watching Starling tossed to the ground like a calf at the doing of his father, and the way Rachel seemed to suck in a sharp breath and stiffen like a board in some kind of attempt to avoid reacting was not lost on her either. The queen had quickly looked away, but Dianella couldn’t, forcing herself to witness all of it. 

Perhaps it was the wrong move, but only one pleading, pained glance from the doe she had come to know as a mother had sent her on her way. Rachel could not follow her son, but his wife could. 

So, leaving the calves safe with their grandmother, she swallowed hard, breaking into a trot to follow down the same path.

Starling felt a mix of emotions as he stalked off, ears pinned against his skull, eyes glaring at any Rukaan that stood in his way, watching doe and stag alike scamper away. His pride of course was wounded.. though that was the least of his concerns. It's not like any of the other stags would stand against him. 

No, what hurt was his shoulder, his ribcage, even his neck.. and what it meant for them to hurt. His father was a dictator, he'd always known that, but something about having it turned upon him was an even more bitter taste than he could imagine. He'd always done his fathers bidding, everything his father wanted.. apparently hell would freeze over before Corvus would listen to an opinion that opposed his own. 

Starling managed to free himself of the confines of the cave, breathing out as he felt the sun's rays upon his face. At least things outside still seemed normal.

It didn't take long for Dianella to catch up to Starling's whereabouts, but she certainly didn't rush up to be at his side. Her hesitation was instinctual, slowing well before allowing herself to be visible, and stopping more than a safe distance away. The only stag she trusted was her own father; none else.

She was content with quiet in normal situations anyway, watching Starling with a soft frown... Though eventually, she sighed. 

"Are you hurt?”

Starling set his jaw as he heard Dianella speak, an ear flicked her way, but it was the only movement he gave. The stag had known she was following... though it wasn't often she spoke anything. 

"No" His answer was simple, even though it was a lie. Blatant, at that. 

"Where are the calves" He spoke, less of a question and more of a statement.

"Your mother is watching over them. They'll survive." Dianella recognized the dryness of her tone as soon as the words had come, silently kicking herself for it. 

She breathed out, forcing herself to step further out into the sunlight. His walls against her were obvious; she wasn't sure if she'd even be able to get a single word through... She never had before.

 "I didn't come to pick a fight, you know."

"Mm" Came the grunt from the white stag at learning the calves were with his mother. Seemed about right... his mother was practically always on hand to help Dianella, and he wasn't sure if that was deliberate or not. Part of him resented it, the other part was glad that Rachel seemed to accept Dianella. Not that any of them had a choice. This was Corvus's world. 

"I didn't say you did" Starling replied, lowering his head to sniff at some possible vegetation, though learned quickly that the clump of dead twigs were not good sustenance, leaving it be with a huff. 

"I spotted some trees back on the pathway up here. We should see if the leaves are edible." He spoke again, starting down the narrow trail. It wasn't so much of a command, he didn't care if Dianella followed, but it was in her best interest he figured, should she want to keep feeding their calves.

Dianella hesitated at what seemed to be some kind of invitation… It didn’t sound like an order, at least. She flicked an ear back towards the distant sounds of the herd within the caves… But then the image of Corvus’s violent outburst replayed in her mind, and she found herself stepping forward after Starling without another thought. She wasn’t keen on becoming her father in law’s next victim.

She walked silently to start; while her mind was always working, it was difficult to come up with what to say, especially when it came to Starling. But she hadn’t come to be silent, for once. “What set him off?” She asked quietly, unsure if he’d speak on it… But the whole thing had felt wrong.

Starling was certain that nearly the whole damn herd had seen, and it was still a burn of humiliation... being vulnerable was weak, that's what was preached so often to him. So what happened when his father made him look vulnerable? What then?

"Common sense" Starling muttered, his eyes staring straight ahead, glaring hard at the snow.

"Common sense..." It was an internal question of whether or not she and her husband held the same idea of what that was... Maybe it was more similar than she thought?

"What's that to you... Running off into the sunset with Osprey?"

Starling scoffed at the words, rolling his eyes, stopping in his tracks. Clearly another mistake on his part, entertaining her company. "The brush is down there, knock yourself out" He grunted, stopping on the pathway. 

"Return to the herd once you're done"

It was difficult to stop herself from snapping back, and Dianella nearly did, feeling her temper flare... But she also knew it was a low blow, and not one that Starling had deserved.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," She spoke slowly, looking down with sigh. "But I hardly know what else you'd care about. You've never said anything different.”

"And why do you particularly care?" He grunted. "We were not married together out of love, but out of need. It's not like we were ever friends beforehand. Why does it matter to you what I say, hm?" He frowned, disgruntled. 

"You've made your points, your remarks and your snide backfires. You have your calves, and you have the love and adoration of the does, so go and do whatever it is you do. One day you'll rule over part of this fucking herd and I'm sure you'll be widely treasured and adored. What more does a god damn doe need" He snapped.

Dianella flinched at the harsh words, pinning her ears slightly. "You think I wanted all of this?" She retorted. "All this you speak of? The calves, the attention, the title... I didn't ask for any of it, and I had to pay for it with my freedom anyway. Your father took my life away from me before I even understood what any of it meant," The doe shivered a little despite herself. 

"I care because I was raised to care. Your mother is ruthless, day in and day out... Everything was centered around you, it always has been, don't you understand?"

"No, I don't understand your little world of sitting and standing and saying please when I have my father breathing down my neck, all hours of the god damn day, fighting, training and breaking bone just to please him and his damn fantasies. To be treated like a commodity, and if I don't live up to the hype, I get replaced or killed. And that's it. You'd just get moved to another stag, don't preach to me about having the world centered around something, doe" He snapped again.

Ears pinned flat now against her head, Dianella turned away, stung by his words. Doe. Like she didn't exist at all to him other than exactly what he saw himself as... A commodity, something easily replaced. 

They both were, she realized, in the eyes of Corvus.

"I have a name," She managed tightly, reigning in her temper as best as she could.

The white stag simmered quietly, stirring in anger. It wasn't all at Dianella... perhaps misplaced if any was, but to have another judge him? Ridiculous. All of it. 

"Dianella, yes" He replied, his tone dryer than Vaeril.

Hearing him say it didn't make her feel any better; she hadn't expected it to anyway, only half surprised when it made her feel worse.

She stood in silence again, half tempted to stay silent for the rest of their cursed marriage, but forced herself to speak, even if it came out quiet. 

"Your mother practically raised me. I was always near, even if you never noticed," She murmured. "But I was there. I saw the things he did to you... And your mother never let me look away, so I'd never forget."

Starling exhaled slowly at her words, closing his eyes as if to center himself, almost feeling as though he were laying upon that hard ice, staring up at his fathers eyes. They were wild.. red with a rage he hadn't seen in a long time. 

When he opened them again, he wasn't met with red, but the pinks and purples that painted the sky, occasional stars starting to glimmer through the canvas. 

"Mother is many things, misguided, is perhaps one word that best fits" He mused, the words bitter on his tongue. 

"Corvus believes he owns everything and everyone in sight... the very hearts that beat in our chests. But he would know better than to try to lay a hoof on you, or the children" Starling shook his head slowly. "Not through fear, but he knows diplomatically.. it's not his best move"

"One could argue it wasn't a wise move for diplomacy's sake to toss his heir to the ground in front of the herd, but yet here we are," Dianella half argued, but it wasn't much more than a subtle agreement of Corvus's... Insanity, she'd believe it to be at this point. 

The queen, though... "Your mother adores you. Everything she's ever done for me is just an extension of trying to help you... She loves you in a way I... Don't think I'll ever love my own child," She admitted quietly, half to herself.

"Perhaps true... but nothing stops him" Came the grunt, Starling sighing quietly. He glanced up as she spoke of his mother, flicking his ears back slightly, unsure. 

"She does, I know she does. But she's firmly under my father's grasp. His commands take priority, it's always how it's been" He explained.

He wasn't incorrect, the anger slowly fading away. Instead she felt tired, more than ever before, unable to find the energy to search for anything edible in the bushes. It wasn't the safest space to do so, but Dianella hardly cared, slowly laying down and tucking her legs underneath her to keep warm in the cold. 

"I'm sorry for the things Corvus has done to you. You didn't deserve it... I wish I could have done something to stop it."

The one thing Starling never expected from anyone was an apology, pausing as she did and staring off into the horizon, feeling a cold breeze brush through his pelt. 

"It's best that you didn't. Who knows what he would have done.."

"He's already done enough. My life was taken from me before I knew what autonomy was... Before either of us knew," She added, sighing. "Yet here we are, and we are who we are as your father wished."

"And what are we to do now? Just bend to his will forever?"

Starling snorted quietly, shaking his head lightly. "Even then, I'm not exactly how my father wanted. If I was, I'd be in on all their little whispery meetings, their decisions and laws. I'm still the calf that he sees me as, in his eyes" He snorted quietly. 

"Well, not always. My father will die one day and then it'll be my turn"

Dianella tilted her head. "Well, perhaps he's doing so because he senses that your attention has been elsewhere. Which it has," She spoke pointedly, though much less accusatory than prior.

"Your father dies, yes... Then what? Does this herd stay or die?"

"With the way things have been, I don't particularly blame myself for being elsewhere. You've never dreamed of an escape of some sort?" He raised a brow, doubtful. 

"The herd stays, I just don't intend to rule over ashes. "

"No, I haven't." And it wasn't entirely a lie. "I never knew my mother, but I heard stories of my parents when I was young... They weren't loud about it, but their love was fierce, and they survived because of it. They could have run this herd with their eyes shut, given the chance" Dianella murmured, tucking her legs a little more against herself, bracing for a snide remark in response. 

"I wanted that. I know now that I will never be what you desire, but for a time, I thought that we could be different from your mother and father. I dreamed of making the herd I love better, not of running away."

"You say different than them... though we very much are" He snorted quietly, Starling gazing off to the horizon once more. "Your mother and father.. I don't know what on earth was going on with them but I guess the easiest way to describe them are 'spitfires'. I suppose for some that's all that's needed." The white stag mused. 

"You speak in past tense, have you rescinded your love for the herd?"

Dianella almost managed a faint smirk, snorting softly and gazing off. "Youth brings a boldness to a spirit that isn't often received well in a place like this. I learned that through my parents' mistakes before it could burn me too."

She blinked after, looking his way. "Of course not. Would I have borne your calves willingly if I had?"

"Hm.. well Corvus wasn't having it. I will say your father seems a lot... calmer, these days. My father seems to think he's broken his spirit, one way"

"Was it so willing?" He questioned, raising a brow.

Dianella held her tongue from defending her father... She knew her father wasn't broken; he had more lives than even she knew about. But giving Starling that information? Out of the question. 

A soft snort left her. "We both remember very well that it was. It is my duty to be loyal to you, so I am," She answered simply. "You can do with that as you please."

He raised a brow lightly at her words, tail flicking once more. "Well, I'm hardly sending you anywhere to defend my name" He mused, sighing. "That's far too dangerous" The stag snorted quietly.

Dianella allowed a small smirk - perhaps the closest thing to a smile she'd ever given him. "What, think I can't throw a kick or two?"

"I wouldn't dare suggest such a thing woman. You does are vicious with your aim" He snorted quietly, though it seemed well meaning. "Though I hardly trust the other stags.... they make their little teams and gangs and they're just.. I dunno" Starling pulled a face.

"It's all politics. You don't survive alone in a herd like this," Dianella mused. "Most of them are stupid enough to be won over by favors... But no one is truly loyal here. The does the very least of all."

"Well well now... You just said you were" He snorted, smirking in a 'gotcha' way, brandishing his antlers towards her. "All talk are you, Dianella?"

"You forget that they're all meant to be loyal to us one day, Prince Starling," She shot back as she moved to stand back up on her hooves - though it wasn't missed that for once, he'd used her name. 

"That's a mess we'll have to figure out another day. For now, I'm certain the calves have half mauled your poor mother."

"Hmm... well... she'd like that" Starling replied, flicking his tail. "A day when she's not being mauled by calves is a bad one.”