**Warning: Yaoi. Don't like, don't read...**
As soon as the battle ends, coming back to the Seireitei after Ywach death, Shuuhei starts to search Izuru. He has felt his reiatsu disappear suddenly at the beginning of the first attack and he hasn’t had any news of him since this moment. He fears that Izuru is dead, but he still hopes to find him alive.
During all this time, Shuuhei has managed to stay strong, to do his duty, to fight and to protect Soul Society. But now that the battle is over, that the war is won, the tension fades away and angst catches him back. He only wishes one thing now : to find Izuru and to hold him in his arms with all the strengths he still has.
So, Shuuhei walks trough the Seireitei, desperately searching for any trace of Izuru. In the ruins, there is lots of shinigami’s corpses, wounded too, seriously for most of them and a few survivors, terrified, exhausted, crazed or desperate. Shuuhei examines the corpses, scans the wounded, questions the survivors. Despite his wounds, he runs in the ruins, screams, calls, his heart beating too fast, horrified and terrified.
During hours, he crosses the Seireitei, searching for the man he loves, still refusing to loose hope despite the chances that get smaller and smaller.
Everywhere in the Seireitei, it’s only desolation and despair. Everywhere, survivors discover the corpses of the ones they love, a comrade, a superior, a subordinate, a friend, a brother, a sister, a husband, a wife, a lover. Everywhere, there is calls, screams of horror, pain and despair. Men and women, kneeling, holding in their arms the lifeless body of a loved one. Rarely, a few fortunate find each other safe and sound, run to each other, embrace each other, but the desolation is too big, it muffles the joy and holds back too long embraces. Shuuhei walks in all of this, trying to ignore the aura of pain that crushes of all the Seireitei, refusing obstinately to give up his researches until he has found Izuru, despite his exhaustion and his wounds.
After long hours, Shuuhei stiffens. In the ruins, is lying a familiar form, his blond hair well visible in the darkness despite dust and ashes that cover it.
Shuuhei screams, rushes, staggering, lets himself fall on his knees.
And Shuuhei discovers the horror of reality. A huge hole pierces Izuru’s chest, only held by a few thin sticks and his right arm isn’t is right arm anymore, but a strange prosthesis completely black. He is horribly pale, his eyes closed, covered with blood and ashes. Izuru is dead.
Shuuhei lets out a scream of horror, pain and despair.
During a few instants, Shuuhei stays tetanised, staring at Izuru’s mutilated body, with eyes widened and full of horror. Then, very slowly, with extreme caution, he lifts him in his arms and holds him against him, burring his face in his hair, cradling him gently, crying and sobbing, repeating again and again Izuru’s name, like this could bring him back.
Shuuhei is crushed by pain, his heart destroyed, broken in a thousand pieces. At this moment, he wants to die too.
He can’t believe that it’s all over. Izuru and him are together for less than two years, since Amagai’s death. They are happy together, very happy.
Images turn in Shuuhei’s mind. Their first night together, when he had joined Izuru on the old training field, after Amagai’s death. Izuru’s smile and his glance, so pure, so shinning. His strong position and his determination when he was ready to fight. His voice, so gentle, that made him shiver when Izuru whispered in his ear on the evening. Their fights, side by side, watching over each other, no matter what happened. Their embraces, loving, passionate. And his lips, his lips and his hands on his body. And his eyes, his eyes like pure water pearls, that pierced him and made him melt.
Izuru is a shinning light in Shuuhei’s life. Shuuhei refuses to believe that it’s all over, that Izuru is dead, that this light is forever faded. He can’t stand it.
Knelling in the ruins, Shuuhei holds against him the lifeless body of the man he loves more than anything in the world, caresses his face, kisses his cold and motionless lips, unable to leave him. Screams of pain come out of him among sobs, uncontrollable. His reiatsu pulses with pain and despair, so powerfully that all the people around moves back, crushed by this awful suffer that comes from him.
All the people, except one, who has felt his distress from the other end of the Seireitei, rushes to him and kneels by his side.
In complete state of shock, Shuuhei doesn’t notice his presence immediately, but little by little, he realises that he is not alone, that warm arms tenderly hold him from behind and that a soft voice is whispering soothing words to him. He recognizes Akon’s warm and serene presence.
– Akon, he moans with a broken voice, slightly coming out of the deep shock is in.
– Shuuhei, Akon whispers softly. Shuuhei, I’m so sorry…
Shuuhei is still shocked, still in tears, still prostrate, holding desperately Izuru’s body against him, even unable to raise his eyes to Akon.
Akon sighs, horrified by the absolute pain and despair of his friend, but he stays calm, holds him in his arms and speaks to him softly, whispering in his ear. His low voice his warm, serene, soothing, soft, tender, but also firm. During a long time, he speaks to him, repeating again and again and again his words, until they reach Shuuhei through the shock, the pain and the despair.
– Shuuhei, calm down, breathe, calm down… Shuuhei, it’s over now. It’s over, Kira is dead… You have to let him go. I know you loved him, but you have to let him go. He is in peace. He died as a soldier, doing his duty, fighting proudly and bravely. Let him rest in peace… Shuuhei, I know you loved him, I know it’s terribly hard, but you survived and you’ll get out of this. With time, you’ll get out of this… Shuuhei, you’re not alone, never, don’t forget that. I’m here for you. I’ll be here for you, with you, every day if you need to… I truly wish that I could have saved Kira. But it was too late when he was brought to us… He was already dead… But you know, the last thing he told me before leaving for his last fight. He asked me if you were alive, he was glad you were fine and he told me : “Tell Shuuhei, I love him. Tell him I’m sorry. And most of all, tell him he has to do everything to stay alive and to keep on fighting."… Shuuhei, you have to let him now… We have to bring him to the pyres… And you need to treat your wounds… Shuuhei… Hold on, it will be all right, even if for now, you can’t believe me, I promise that it’ll be all right… You’re not alone, Shuuhei… I’m by your side… Shuuhei, breathe. Breathe slowly, calm down…
At last, after more than an hour, Shuuhei calms down and relaxes in Akon’s arms. Very slowly, gently, he lays down Izuru’s body on the ground, removes his hair from his face, leans down to kiss his forehead and caresses his cheek. I love you, Izuru, he thinks, but he is unable to talk.
Then, Shuuhei turns to Akon, who is staring at him – without anymore word – his glance full of compassion, gentleness, tenderness and warmth. Shuuhei holds on his friend’s glance and embrace him lightly, soothed by Akon’s warmth around him.
Without Akon, Shuuhei wouldn’t have survived. Without Akon, it would have left nothing of him after Izuru’s death. Akon has saved him, he was the only one who can save him.
Ten years has passed since Izuru’s death. The Seireitei is almost entirely rebuilt, new recruits has almost entirely replaced the decimated strengths and little by little, time appeases and heals each one’s wounds.
Shuuhei gets better, thanks to Akon’s help. They are together since Izuru’s death and Akon has never stopped to support Shuuhei, encouraging him and comforting him, with his soft serene and warm presence, without ever getting tired, giving him without counting all his love, his tenderness, his strength and his kindness, without waiting anything in return. And once the shock of Izuru’s death has passed, despite the deep sadness and pain, Shuuhei has loved him in return, with all his strengths. He has loved him because Akon had saved him. Because he was a rock to hold on to in the turmoil. Because he had been there, by his side, days after days, nights after nights, even during the worst moments. Because Akon had loved him with all his heart, without restraint, even if Shuuhei was still mourning for Izuru.
Shuuhei and Akon are happy, now. The first year had been the hardest, but the huge work for the Seireitei’s rebuilt and an intense training for Bankai had helped Shuuhei to get out of his mourning, to keep on fighting, to keep on living.
However, even after ten years, Shuuhei still has nightmares. Again and again and again, he relives the discovery of Izuru’s body in the ruins, again and again he sees the horror and his mind creates images of his death, he sees him being pierced he sees him fall and always, at the end, he finds him, too late and hold him against his chest, powerless. And he wakes up, panting, in tears, covered with sweat. At the beginning, it was all the nights, then it becomes less frequent, three or four times a week, then only one or two, then three or four times a month, after one or two. Then the nightmares had almost disappeared. But they have came back recently, Shuuhei doesn’t understand why.
Each time he wakes up after a nightmare, Akon is there. He is there to reassure him, to tell him that it’s over, that he is not alone, to wrap him in his warmth, his tenderness and to dry his tears.
This night, once again, Shuuhei wakes up with a start after a nightmare. When he opens the eyes, he discovers Akon’s ones, staring at him, as he is sitting by his side, motionless. Sitting up, Shuuhei wipes quickly his face, takes a deep breath and breathes out slowly to calm down, then turns to face Akon.
– Akon… Sorry for waking you up, he whispers. I was having a nightmare again, he adds with a sigh, closing his eyes a second, to push back the memories, before raising his eyes to Akon, to grab his hand gently and to smile to him, a soft smile, true and tender.
An instant, Akon keeps staring at him, motionless, with his usual serene and focused look. Shuuhei expects to see him smile in return, expects that Akon draw him in his arms and kiss him tenderly in the neck. Like he always do. Like he had done a thousand times to soothe Shuuhei after his nightmares.
But Akon doesn’t move. Only his fingers hold Shuuhei’s one, very tightly, almost painfully. And, in front of Shuuhei’s stupefied eyes, Akon’s eyes fill with tears, that run down his face, heavy and painful. Putting a hand on his mouth, Akon curls up slowly, shaken with almost silent sobs.
Shuuhei stays shocked an instant, horrified to see Akon in such a state.
– Akon… he whispers, moving closer to him, putting his free hand on his shoulder and holding back his fingers tightly. Akon, what’s wrong ?... Talk to me… Akon, look at me… talk to me…
Akon slowly raises his face to him.
– I thought… it would never come, he whispers into sobs. This day… when you finally could… smile talking… of your nightmares… smile… thinking… of Izuru… During all this time… all this years… I… I was there, watching your suffer… and I… I was feeling helpless… Hundreds times, I thought… I couldn’t hold on… I just wanted… that you stop suffer this much… I wanted… to help you… Shuuhei, I love you so much… I can’t stand anymore to see you suffer… it hurts me too much…
His voice breaks on a violent sob.
Shuuhei stares at him, petrified, his eyes widened. He has never realized he was making Akon suffer. He has never understood how much Akon loved him. He has never understood either how much himself loved Akon. A wave of gratitude and love sweeps over him, so powerful that it is almost painful.
So Shuuhei grabs into his hands Akon’s tear-stained face.
– Akon… Akon, forgive me… I love you. I love you, I love you so much… I’m sorry, Akon… You saved me Akon, you knows that, you truly saved me. Without you, I… I wouldn’t have survived… Akon, I… I’m sorry… I’m a fucking idiot. I haven’t realized. I haven’t understood that I was making you suffer… Akon, I love you, please forgive me…
Shuuhei holds Akon’s face with both hands, staring at him, eyes in eyes, in tears too.
– Akon, I love you… I’m sorry… I promise you, I promise you that I won’t make you suffer anymore. That I will take care of you, like you took care of me. That I will be here for you, by your side, like you had been here for me… Akon, I don’t want to loose you… I love you too much…
Akon’s tears intensify and Shuuhei strangles, his voice broken with sobs. Shuuhei draws Akon against him, holds him in his arms, with all his strengths, all his love and all his warmth, wanting only one thing : to comfort him.
– I’m fine, now, Akon… You don’t have to worry about me anymore. You don’t have to suffer for me anymore… Forgive me, Akon, forgive me for making you suffer that much… I’m an idiot…
Shuuhei feels Akon’s tears running down on his shoulder. He feels him shiver in his arms, despite the strength of his embrace. But he also feels his hands hold on his back, intermingle in his hair, his hot fingers burring in his flesh.
– Shuuhei, Akon whispers against his neck, with a still shivering voice. You have nothing to be forgiven about… Idiot… My idiot… How could I stop worrying for you while I love you ?...
– I’m glad you are better… I love you so much… Akon whispers, his breath calming down slowly.
– I’m fine, Shuuhei confirms again, getting back his calm little by little. Akon, I love you.
Shuuhei slightly withdraws to look at him, taking his face into his hands again. He wipes his tears, holds him, kisses him, again and again, kisses his shivering lips, his wet cheeks, his horns, each one of his horns, the edge of his eyes, his lips again. Akon stares at him and let him do, his breath calming down completely, his tears stopping and he smiles softly, wiping Shuuhei tears gently, then putting his hand on Shuuhei’s one, against his cheek. Shuuhei stares at him, intensely.
– Akon, I want you to promise me something, he whispers, serious.
Akon nods softly, already ready to accept.
– From now, I don’t want you to suffer in silence anymore, I don’t want you to hide me what you feel anymore. If you’re suffering, tell me. If you’re sad, tell me. If you’re angry, tell me. Don’t hide me such important things anymore. Never…
Akon smiles and nods again.
– Never again… he whispers with a voice full of emotions.
So, Shuuhei smiles back, draws him in his arms and kisses him passionately, with all his heart and all his soul, like his life depend on this and Akon returns the kiss and they both drown, in one another, feverish, passionate, alive, happy.
Together, body and soul.
**Warning: Yaoi. Don't like, don't read...**
When Ulquiorra finally frees himself from the Caja Negacion, he immediately searches Grimmjow’s reiatsu. He needs to find him. Trapped in the parallel world, he had plenty of time to regret their recent fight.
His heart skips a beat. He feels Grimmjow’s reiatsu, tragically weak. Grimmjow is severely wounded, very weakened and probably unconscious.
Ulquiorra slightly clenches his jaw. He would like to join him, but he can’t. A fight is waiting for him. He already feels the power of Ichigo’s reiatsu, approching quickly.
Wait for me, Grimmjow… he thinks when the shinigami appears in front of him.
Wait for me, don’t die… I will join you…
Unfortunately, Ulquiorra doesn’t manage to hold his promise. Ichigo wins the fight.
As he is struggling to survive, as his strengths leave him and his body slowly evaporates, Ulquiorra has only one last thought.
Grimmjow… Forgive me… I love you…
When Grimmjow wakes up, lying in the sand, under the harsh blue sky, several hours has passed after his defeat against Ichigo and Noïtra’s surprise attack. His wounds don’t bleed anymore and he knows he is going to survive them, even if they are serious and will take time to fully heal.
However, His all body hurts for now and he has to fight to sit up, clenching his teeth to hold back painful groans. He manages to get on his knees, quickly examining his main wounds. The one made by Ichigo is serious, but the one inflicted by Noïtra is worst.
Grimmjow lets out a few swearwords, hitting the sand with an angry fist, furious of his defeat against Ichigo, furious of Noïtra’s betrayal, furious of his own state.
Too exhausted for his anger to last long, Grimmjow let out a long sigh.
Then, instinctively, he starts to search Ulquiorra’s reiatsu.
Grimmjow unconsciously hold his breath, focused, searching for the smallest trail, horrified to find nothing.
At last, Grimmjow feels a few scraps of reiatsu, distant and terribly weak. Scraps from the past, but not the familiar pulse of a living reiatsu. His heart skips a beat, but he forces himself to get back his breath.
Ulquiorra… He can’t be…
Suddenly, nothing else matters. Ichigo, Noïtra, his defeat, his wounds, nothing. Fear crushes his chest.
Grimmjow gets up with difficulty, clenching his teeth to fight the pain.
Ulquiorra… Wait for me…
Grimmjow has to join him, no matter what it cost him. He thinks about nothing else. He starts to walk, staggering first, then starts to run, as fast as his wounded and weakened body allows him to.
Their recent fight replays in his mind. A few hours before, they were in Ulquiorra’s room, embracing each other, naked, resting after making love. And yet, they had to fight, because Grimmjow wanted to fight Ichigo at any cost. Now he curses himself. He curses himself even more than he knows that Ulquiorra has let him win. If the Quatro has truly wanted to stop him, he would simply be dead.
Grimmjow runs with all his strengths.
At last, after a long effort, Grimmjow reaches the place of the fight, on the roof of the palace, getting back to the eternal black sky of Hueco Mondo, far from the false sun Aizen had created inside the giant dome of Las Noches. The sonido step to the roof has let him out of breath, out of strengths, staggering.
Everywhere, Grimmjow feels the trails of Ichigo’s reiatsu, more than ever darken by his hollow aura, incredibly powerful, far superior than during their fight. He also feels the trails of Ulquiorra’s reiatsu, dense and dark, the one of his second resurrection.
Grimmjow sees clearly his face, his thin silhouette, his pale naked torso, his perfect black fur, his long horns that make him look taller, his impressive black wings and his incredible eyes, with those shining golden orbs. He had seen him only once on that form, but this image is still carved in him, beautiful and powerful.
His eyes closed, Grimmjow searches with all his strengths, the slightest trail, the slightest pulse.
Alas, there is no possible doubt.
Ulquiorra is dead.
Grimmjow opens his eyes again, looking at the ruins, crushed by silence, loneliness, darkness and despair.
Ulquiorra is dead.
Ulquiorra is dead and there is nothing left of him, not even ashes.
This pain is worst than all he ever had to endure until now, worst than all the wounds, worst than everything. A million blades in his heart, incandescent and sharp.
Standing in the ruins, Grimmjow garbs his chest, staggering.
His scream ends in a inarticulate cry.
Hold by an impossible force, Grimmjow manages to stay on his feet, without knowing how.
Under the moonlight, a white shard catches his glance. Grimmjow comes closer, feeling trails of Ulquiorra’s reiatsu coming from it. In the ruins, he discovers a white sharp spike. The extremity of one of Ulquiorra’s horns, broken during the fight.
All what’s left of Ulquiorra.
Grimmjow falls on his knees. With a shivering hand, he grabs the piece of horn, barely longer than his hand.
Ul…quiorra… Ulquiorra… Ulquiorraaaaaaaaa…
Under the coldness and the hardness of the horn, Grimmjow still feels, tiny, the presence of Ulquiorra’s reiatsu. Tears run down his face and he claspes the horn against his heart, with all his strengths, shivering and horrified.
No, non, no…
Even Ulquiorra can’t regenerate himself from a so small part of his body.
He is really dead.
Grimmjow stares at the piece of white horn, crying, his heart broken, destroyed by pain.
Almost without thinking, he holds the horn with his both hands, firmly, positioning the spike to his heart. He takes a deep breath, putting the sharp spike under his plexus.
Grimmjow has only one thought.
Either he manages to bring Ulquiorra back, or he dies trying to.
– Ulquiorra… I love you, Grimmjow whispers.
Then, without a single hesitation, he sinks the horn deeply in his chest and releases all the left of his reiatsu. He gasps under the shock, but the pain is nothing compare to the one of loosing Ulquiorra.
Grimmjow pulls the horn out of his body, feeling his blood quickly running down his fingers, hot and thick. The horn slide off his hands, crimson, and falls on the ground with a small ringing. Grimmjow feels his last strengths leaving him. His head his heavy, his body goes numb, his eyes close, he suffocates.
A few seconds later, Grimmjow looses conscious and collapses.
Slowly, during long hours, little by little, Ulquiorra’s body regenerates itself, from the piece of the broken horn, covered with Grimmjow’s blood and impregnated of his reiatsu.
Once his body is fully regenerated, Ulquiorra’s heart starts to beat again and his reiatsu to pulse again.
Long hours later, Ulquiorra wakes up, surprised, very weak, but safe and unharmed.
Lifting up with difficulty on an elbow, he discovers Grimmjow, lying by his side, severely wounded, covered with blood, motionless. His breath stops. He crawls to him, turns him on his back, puts a hand on his chest.
Ulquiorra lets out a relieved sigh. Grimmjow is alive, he feels his heart beating and his reiatsu, weak, but present. Ulquiorra can’t believe that Grimmjow has made all the way to come here in a such state, that he has managed to get up despite his wounds, to join him and to save him.
Ulquiorra comes closer, holds to Grimmjow’s shoulders, softly caresses his cheek.
Grimmjow wakes up, frowns in pain, opens his eyes, discovering Ulquiorra’s face, a few centimetres from his own. An instant, he thinks is dreaming, but he feels Ulquiorra’s reiatsu pulsing, he feels his warmth and the pressure of his thin body against his own, he feels the fresh softness of his fingers and all of this is too precise, too clear to be a dream.
It’s real. It’s well real.
Ulquiorra is alive. Grimmjow stares in wonder at his wide emerald eyes, his heart filled with pure joy, breathing freely again.
– Ulquiorra, he whispers softly.
– Grimmjow, Ulquiorra whispers back. You’ve brought me back… You’ve risked everything to bring me back… Thank you, Grimmjow… I love you… I love you so much… I’m sorry… So sorry…
Ulquiorra’s eyes are drowned with tears. Grimmjow feels tears running down his cheeks too. He grabs Ulquiorra’s face with both hand.
– Ulquiorra… I’m sorry… I… I… shouldn’t have… heal Ichigo… It’s my fault… I’m sorry… I love you, Ulquiorra… I love you… I love you… You… You’re alive… You’re alive…
Unable to wait one more second, Grimmjow draws Ulquiorra in his arms and holds him with all his strengths against his chest, burying his face in his black hair, breathing his fresh smell, clasping his thin body against his own and Ulquiorra holds him back, clinging on his shoulders, snuggling in his neck and enjoying his spicy smell. They stares at each other – sapphire eyes in emerald eyes – hold each other, touch each other, caress each other, unable to satisfied from each other, their heart beating fast, filled with relief and joy. They kiss, deeply, desperately.
Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stay embraced like that during hours, until they recovered enough strengths to get up. Then they leave, lean on each other, disappearing in Hueco Mondo’s desert, as far away as possible from Aizen and the war.
This content is intended for mature audiences.
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**Warning: Yaoi. Don't like, don't read...**
Izuru is completely exhausted.
As he just came out of the Fourth Division, barely healed from his fight against Kifune, he had to endure a meeting with all the Third Division, to explain them the recent events, reassure the men and start to prepare the future.
Izuru had to face alone all his subordinates, to face their questions and theirs doubts. All the day, he managed to keep the head up, to appear serene, confident, reassuring, strong and self-assured, for the good of his Division.
But now that the night is fall, Izuru can finally be alone for a moment. He leaves the Third Division’s quarters and walks aimlessly, going instinctively to the ruins of their training field.
Letting himself fall on the terraces, he sighs heavily, out of energy and his elbows leaned on his knees, buries his head in his hands.
Once again, pain stabs him.
Suddenly, Izuru feels a warm hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t feel the familiar reiatsu approach. He raises his head, discovering Shuuhei, squatted by his side, who stares at him with a worried and compassionate look.
– Izuru, he whispers, pressing softly his shoulder when he discovers the distress on his face. I knew you would be here… I thought that you… should need… a… friend…
Izuru stares at him, surprises and slightly embarrassed that Shuuhei discover him in a such moment. But he feels grateful for his friend. He is moved that Shuuhei worried for him, that he had searched him and had come to find him in the middle of the night. Izuru feels something break inside of him. The barrier he had built to hold on suddenly falls into pieces. Izuru feels his throat tightens and his eyes fill with tears.
– Taichou… he moans, his voice broken by sobs. Taichou…
Shuuhei’s eyes widen, he is horrified to see Izuru in a such state. He keeps quiet anyway. He is not sure to know if Izuru is talking about Ichimaru Taichou or Amagai Taichou. Maybe both o them.
– Taichou… repeats Izuru, tears running down his face, grabbing Shuuhei’s wrist as he is afraid to see him leave. Ichimaru… Amagai… Traitors, both of them… he moans, stabbed by pain. Traitors… Gone, disappeared, lost… And I… I didn’t see anything… didn’t be able to do anything… They… leave me… both of them… I… I…
His voice breaks on a sob and he rolled into a ball, devastated by tears.
Shuuhei has the heart heavy to see him like that. He knows this feeling too, but he can’t imagine how Izuru feels, to have endure it twice in only a few months. He doesn’t know what to say to calm him down, to reassure him and soothe him. He knows only once thing. He wants Izuru to stop crying, because each of his sobs stabs a burning blade in his chest.
– Izuru, he whispers, lost.
Not knowing what else to do, he draws Izuru in his arms and holds him with all his strengths, pressing his head against his chest.
After a second, Izuru reacts and holds to him with all his strengths, to his strong shoulders, his face buried in his neck, still shaking with violent sobs.
Shuuhei feels is thin body shivering against his own and holds him even tighter.
– It’s going to be ok now, he whispers. It’s going to be ok… I’m here… You’re not alone… I’m here…
– Shuuhei, Izuru sobs. Ho, Shuuhei…
– Shut… Breathe… Calm down… Calm down, it’s going to be ok…
Izuru snuggles against Shuuhei, holds to him, soothed by the warmth of his strong body, by the pressure of his arms around him, by the firm grip of hands, by his hot smell, strong and familiar, and Shuuhei holds him back, for a long time, until he feels his body relaxes and stops shivering, until his tears dries and his breath calms down.
Shuuhei and Izuru stay like this a long moment, holding each other, in silence, in a perfect calm.
And then, little by little, their embrace becomes more intense, more intimate, deeper, more sensual.
Slowly, almost hesitating, Shuuhei raises his hand to Izuru’s nape, caresses his fresh and soft skin, feeling Izuru shivers to the touch and grabs tightly the back of his hakama. He slides his fingers into the pale silk of his hair and withdraws a little to look at Izuru’s face. His skin his very pale under the soft moonlight. His cheeks are still wet. His eyes still reddened by tears, but they shine, intense, limpid like to pearls of pure water. Shuuhei sinks in his glance, looses himself, drowns himself.
– Izuru, he whispers, his heart beating fast. If I don’t tell you know, I will never find the courage… I love you, Izuru. Since the beginning. Since this day, when you, Renji and Momo had came back to fight by my side, during this disastrous training… I never told you… There was Ichimaru Taichou… I never dared… But… But… Ho, Izuru… I love you…
Izuru eyes widen in surprise, staring at Shuuhei’s gray eyes. He sees in them a burning feverish intensity, almost desperate, that he had never seen before. In his surprise, he withdraws slightly.
Shuuhei tenses, terrified that he has said too much, terrified to be rejected by Izuru. His terror is clearly visible on his face. He is about to let Izuru go, devastated, when he feels thin hands grabbing his hair and drawing him closer. His eyes widen too.
– Shuuhei, Izuru sighs. I… I don’t know what to say… For now, I’m… lost… I’m… Ichimaru… Amagai… I… It’s too recent… I… I don’t know if… I…
Shuuhei quiets him, putting a finger on his lips.
– Don’t talk… Please… Just for this night, let me hold you in my arms… Let me stay by you side…
Izuru gives a thin smile and snuggles softly again against Shuuhei.
Shuuhei holds him strongly, his eyes closed, breathing his sweet and fresh smell. He caresses his nape, the roots of his hair, playing with the short blond strands. Izuru feels shivers running down his all body, feeling Shuuhei strong and slightly rough fingers on his skin. He arches his back, throws his head back, leans even more his body against Shuuhei’s one. Still holding him tightly against him, Shuuhei keeps caressing him, his hand going down in Izuru’s neck, pushing slowly his hakama, revealing his thin but strong shoulder, his pale skin, soft and perfect. Shuuhei leans on his neck, kisses softly his clavicle, goes up in his neck. Izuru surprised him, turning his head as Shuuhei was about to kiss his jaw. Izuru leans to him, his lips slightly touches Shuuhei’s ones, half-opened, inviting a kiss, his breath heavy. Shuuhei feels Izuru’s fingers holding tightly his hair, with both hands. Responding to the invitation, he kisses Izuru tenderly, lightly first, then deeper, feeling Izuru’s soft lips moving with his. Izuru opens his mouth and their tongues mix, wrap, play and explore and they both let out pleasure moans.
– Izuru, Shuuhei whispers, as they part to get back their breaths.
– Shuuhei… Stop… Not here… We should… go home… Izuru whispers, his breath short.
Shuuhei’s eyes widen in surprise, then in front of Izuru’s pure and clear glance, in front of the invitation he reads on his face, in his posture, in the tone of his voice and even in his breath, he nods in silence, feeling his heart jumping in joy. He stands up, taking Izuru with him and grabs his hand, interlacing his fingers with his own, with a light smile, holding firmly, as he was still afraid to see him leave. Izuru smiles back to him and starts the shunpo jump, taking Shuuhei with him.
A few instants later, they get over the doors of Izuru’s room, panting of impatience and desire.
The doors barely closed, they rushes again in each other’s arms and kiss feverishly.
Suddenly they burn, giving in to urgency. Shuuhei, after waiting so long, after hiding his feelings all this time. Izuru, in a life impulse, after all this terrible events, letting go completely.
Their hands hungry, they tear off their clothes, undressing in a few seconds. They flatten one against the other, enjoying the warm and proximity of this feeling. Each of them can feel the desire of the other, when their erections rub one against the other.
Shuuhei runs his hands all over Izuru’s body, in his neck, his shoulders, his thin perfect torso, along his ribs, in his back, on his belly, his hips, his thighs, his butt, as Izuru holds his hair, his strong shoulders and his muscular back, sticking his long thin fingers in his burning flesh. Shuuhei lays him down on the floor, covers him with kisses, beats him slightly, sucks a nipple, then goes down one hand to his sex, grabs it and strokes it strongly. Izuru tenses, arches his back and moans to the delicious sensations Shuuhei’s strong fingers trigger on him.
Shuuhei keeps caressing him a few instants, then he slowly spreads his thighs. Gently, he penetrates Izuru with one finger, then two – he has took care to suck them before – and turns slowly. He feels Izuru’s fingers contract in his back, his body tense, then relax slowly.
After a few instants, Shuuhei slowly removes his fingers. Stopping his moves, he stares his glance into Izuru’s one, loosing himself once again in the clear pearls of his eyes.
– Are you ready ?... he whispers with a husky voice.
As an answer, Izuru draws him into a deep kiss and whispers his name, pressing his hips against him. Shuuhei penetrates him as he returns the kiss ans they both moan in pleasure.
Shuuhei strats to move in rhythm, slowly first, then faster and faster, always faster, deeper, again and again. He holds Izuru with all his strengths, tightly against him and Izuru draws him against him too, one hand pressing his hips and the other buries in his hair. Their moans and groans filled the small room, they bodies seem to burn, oversensitive, covered with sweat, they pant. Their moves fasten, becoming erratic, desperate, urgent. Shuuhei moans, ready to fall.
– Izuru… Izuruuu…
Izuru feels pleasure rising up, sweeping his mind away, as a storm in his head. And he explodes, pleasure devastates him, going through his body in powerful waves, annihilating his thoughts. Izuru screams, his body ran by long powerful spasms, bringing Shuuhei with him a second later. Shuuhei groans strongly, arches violently, then collapses on Izuru’s chest.
Izuru and Shuuhei stay like that as their breath calm down. Shuuhei pulls a blanket on them and they fall asleep, in each other arms, tightly embraced.
Shuuhei wakes up several hours before dawn. Izuru is still deeply asleep. Shuuhei tightens his grip around him, pulls the blanket up on his shoulders.
For a moment, he looks him sleeping, stares at his beautiful face, perfectly appeased. He sighs, depressed. Izuru will never be his. It was only for this night.
Shuuhei frees himself from his embrace.
Kneeling by his side, Shuuhei leans to kiss tenderly Izuru’s forehead, then sadly turns away.
But, as he is about to gets up, he feels long fingers wrapping firmly around his wrist. He turns back, discovering Izuru’s blue glance, staring at him, intense and clear.
– Stay, Izuru whispers. Shuuhei, stay…
Shuuhei, his heart filled with joy, smiles softy, then lays down by Izuru’s side, drawing him in his arms again. Izuru kisses him tenderly, snuggles against him and stares at him intensly.
– I love you too, Shuuhei… he whispers with a soft smile. I want you by my side… every night and every day…
Shuuhei smiles widely, embraces him and they fall asleep again, happy, knowing that they will never ever have to fear loneliness.
My name is V.
My name is S.
I was born in this World.
I was born in another World, before being tore off it and sent in this one.
I was drowning in the dull gray waters of this World when you arrived, a solid rock to hold on to.
I was erring in the darkness when I found you, a shining light in an ocean of gray shadows.
You gave me the strength to face this life.
You gave me back the life, the light, and the joy.
You saved me as I was fading away, you revived the flame inside of me.
You saved me as I was lost, you gave me everything, without limits.
Thanks to you, I’m never alone.
Thanks to you, I’m never alone.
You’re mine and I’m yours.
I’m yours and you’re mine.
My blood is yours. My body is yours. My heart beats for me and for you.
Your blood is mine. Your body is mine. Your heart beats, for you and for me.
You live in me. Everywhere I go. Always, you’re here.
I live in you. Everywhere you go. Always, I’m here.
This is the truth.
This is the truth.
You live in me. Now and forever.
I live in you. Now and forever.
You live in me. My brother, my twin soul, my half.
I live in you. My sister, my twin soul, my half.
Together, in the same body.