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About Digital Art / Professional J.D.Male/United States Groups :iconquick-toad: Quick-Toad
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Deviant for 1 Year
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Statistics 133 Deviations 2,435 Comments 8,373 Pageviews


👏 I 👏 don't 👏 like 👏 to 👏 admit 👏 I 👏 am 👏 mentally 👏 disabled 👏 from 👏 mental 👏 illness 👏 to 👏 strangers 👏 irl 👏 

so I make shit up for a job that is usually actually just a hobby because I'm too embarrassed to tell them the truth and I hate it

I hate lying but I also hate the judging that comes with telling someone I'm disabled... Or the comments of "You look/act fine" yeah, that's cuz you're not living with me. You don't see me every day so you don't see how it is. There are times I don't even know what I'm doing because I disassociated or I'm delusional for a short period.

I am NOT self-diagnosed... I don't even know all of my diagnosis, I just let my therapist and psychologist handle that. This isn't some stupid pity me or give me attention diagnosis. This is something I hate with a passion because it legitimately holds me back and then I feel like shit because I can't do all the things I should be able to do.

Just bitching because today I met a neighbor and he asked what I do so I told him "Mainly art" which isn't exactly a lie but it isn't exactly true, either... Art is a supplement and I've reported that and am only allowed to make so much from it because of that. Being disabled and on social security is NOT nearly as nice as people make it out to be... It's frustrating and stressful and embarrassing and is NOT enough to live off of by yourself.

Also got the question of "Kids?" again... but at least it wasn't followed by asking when we plan on it, this time.

I hate being ashamed of being alive


Artist | Professional | Digital Art
United States
21+years in age | Sagittarius | Year of the Monkey
Primarily digital artist
| INFP - T |


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KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2018   Digital Artist
Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ. I have no license, I’m considered legally blind and I’m easily distrac… Wait, what was I talking about…
But not to fear. There’s a good chance we’ll never make our destination, but since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I just shattered the illusion by crashing through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch. :happybounce:
I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival. :psychotic:
On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly (fingers crossed), free funny stories in almost all fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles. (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)
So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2018   Digital Artist

Thanks for the fav on 135 - I'll have what she's having...


Unless it’s some of that new hippity dippity, 100% organic, certified chemical free, all natural stuff called…water? Is that what it’s called? Can’t stand the stuff myself. No flavour, full of who knows what. Next thing they’ll tell me it’s good for my health. Bah! Poppycock! That’s just part of the marketing scheme. Well let me tell you, I am the last person to be hornswoggled by some fancy advertising or flashy gimmick. That’s why I only ever drink CRUSHED!™ A bittersweet, infinitely satisfying beverage made from the tears of your enemies, collected by rehabilitated ex-junkie tooth fairies and then brewed for 3 non-consecutive full moons, until all the natural goodness is finally eliminated and all you’re left with is a blend of barely legal chemicals. "Get CRUSHED!™, the beverage of poor sportsmen!"

#GetCrushed #CrushingIt

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