The sweetness of my solitude,u

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Prtoujours's avatar

Literature Text

I told my head to stop talking about you. But my head wants to write you. And it’s writing you all the time. I told my head to kick you out of its corners, but it won’t listen.

I am controlled by your presence in me. You keep wandering and I can’t even tell when you’re here and when you’re not.

My love, I forgot. I didn’t want to lose a thing. And I forgot. Forgive me.

My love, I was scared. Scared of myself, scared of you, and you could never know.

I can’t sleep. There’s a dance of regrets in my mind and unhealed wounds in my soul.

I want to love you at least for a lifetime, and always find you, because life is beautiful when I’m in love with you. We could find these short moments, or even the long ones. These perfect moments.

I’d like to know you feel alive, but I already know, my love, that nobody can worship life the way you do.

“You’re beautiful”, you tell me. I didn’t dream, I didn’t drift in your softness. It was real.

That day, I was the only one smiling at you… And you, especially you, were the only one smiling back at me. I didn’t want time to pass, but we both know that the things we want never mattered, and could never change anything.

Tonight, I miss this love. Tonight, my love grows bigger. And tonight, maybe, I lost my love..
To my first love.

Written on a piece of paper, on June 7, 2009 around 4:30 am.

"Toi, le mot d'amour de ma solitude"

What if you only had one dream, the biggest of all?

Listening to :Cali - Sophie Calle n°108

And of course,.. my Little Prince:

""I have also a flower."
"We do not record flowers," said the geographer.
"Why is that? The flower is the most beautiful thing on my planet!"
"We do not record them," said the geographer, "because they are ephemeral."
"What does that mean-- 'ephemeral'?"
"Geographies," said the geographer, "are the books which, of all books, are most concerned with matters of consequence. They never become old-fashioned. It is very rarely that a mountain changes its position. It is very rarely that an ocean empties itself of its waters. We write of eternal things."
"But extinct volcanoes may come to life again," the little prince interrupted. "What does that mean-- 'ephemeral'?"
"Whether volcanoes are extinct or alive, it comes to the same thing for us," said the geographer. "The thing that matters to us is the mountain. It does not change."
"But what does that mean-- 'ephemeral'?" repeated the little prince, who never in his life had let go of a question, once he had asked it.
"It means, 'which is in danger of speedy disappearance.'"
"Is my flower in danger of speedy disappearance?"
"Certainly it is."
"My flower is ephemeral," the little prince said to himself, "and she has only four thorns to defend herself against the world. And I have left her on my planet, all alone!"
That was his first moment of regret. "
© 2009 - 2021 Prtoujours
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kho13's avatar
Prtoujours's avatar
yeps, me no sleep lately.
kho13's avatar
too much caffeine or too much thinking?
Prtoujours's avatar
im caffeine resistant Kheu.. :P

'wish there was a shut down button for the brain.
kho13's avatar
there is a restart one; you're gonna finish uni this week right? take some days off, go, travel, nzale 3al da7ye, go anywhere away from everything for a couple of days, no phone, no internet, and restart
Prtoujours's avatar
enzal 3al da7ye?
thats a great plan for suicide:P
kho13's avatar
shou azdik ya3ne :@
Prtoujours's avatar
asde enou leih bl da7yeh masalan ?:P
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LilithOfTheDamned's avatar
Very passionate and though provoking.
Prtoujours's avatar
I wish it could be thought provoking to the one it's writen to.. I wish.

Thank you :hug:
LilithOfTheDamned's avatar
I can relate to that and your welcome:hug:
MissPecheBlanche's avatar
"the sweetness of my solitude, u"
dima you have 2cheer up :(
your writings are always, well like she said, moving..
Prtoujours's avatar
I am cheered up =]

I thought about it as : toi,le mot d'amour de ma solitude but couldn't find a proper translation... :hug:

Thankyou :heart:
massh-a's avatar
khalas wli khalas :P
fly-high-butterfly14's avatar
This is really deep and personal, its effective and I like that. You really get a message across, passion.
Prtoujours's avatar
Thank you.. and yes,.. I could really put the way I feel on paper. :)
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