Targeted Commenting [#2]

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3wyl
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This is a project in which the sole purpose is to accommodate you when commenting on the deviations that you would like guaranteed and constructive comments on. While our other projects do not seem to meet that requirement, this one hopefully does as we strive to make our comments that much more driven and focused for you.

This is specifically targeted at those who actually want or need to improve their artwork. Please do not request comments if you are just here for more exposure.

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By the window by GlyphBellchime ~ Second one to do in Photshop elements. Drawn on paper first then scanned in. No tablet. Just some pointers on how I could really use the program to improve my art.And should I type out the story I have in my head about this character?

wip... by lemon-sorbae ~ i need tips for the hair, or any good hair tutorials.  also, any overall comments? keep in mind it's still a wip, but please feel free to be as nitpicky as you want. thank you!

Rouge the Bat by rosytoonz & Christmas contest - entry1 by rosytoonz ~ I was just wondering, do you think I've got the style of Sonic X yet? And, do you think I am good enough for my age(13)?

Escape the Mind by Sky0wl ~ I am thirteen years old and have just started using colors (soft pastel pencils) recently. I don't know how to get certain colors to pop and how to make color seem more realistic. Any ideas on how to do so?

:thumb498328142: ~ i would like to know if they liKe it, is the colour good, how to improve colour?

:thumb468936183: ~ Overall feedback: Does it need to be redone in some way? If so, what can be done to make it better (i.e. make it more "poetic"?).

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BohemianWolfPrince
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To explain the context in further detail this is an excerpt from a longer story that is as of yet unfinished. I also have another excerpt in which Prince Gabriel has a dream about Mariam and the desert, and I would appreciate any feedback on that as well if you are willing to do me a favor.

The kingdom Prince Gabriel comes from is located between Saxony and Bohemia, and is similar to the Erzgebirge and Vogtland regions. It has recently converted to Lutheranism. 

Prince Gabriel is a bashful and bookish young prince who would much rather be a scholar or a philosopher, and struggles to find a place for himself in royal court life. He has often been bullied and teased by other princes and by some princesses, which reinforced his mother and father's notion that he just is their darling little boy who has to be loved, cared for, and protected, even though he has grown up by now. However, his two older brothers, Michel and Raphael, are more understanding and supportive of him. Yes, they were intentionally named after archangels, due to their parents' religiosity.

Princess Eleanor is a precocious and inquisitive little princess who reminds Prince Gabriel of his childhood self. They befriended each other, and he "adopted" her and took her home with him to save her from an assassination plot in her home kingdom. Princess Eleanor wants to be an academic or an intellectual, and Prince Gabriel encourages her to do so, even though most other people discourage her. I intend for her to accompany Mariam and Gabriel on some fantastic adventures once they reunite.

Questions:

1. This is supposed to be in the fairy tale or fairy tale inspired fantasy genre, but I am not sure if it qualifies, especially due to all of the references to real life people, places, and events. What genre would you consider this to be?

2. I intend for Prince Gabriel to be trying to educate Princess Eleanor while telling his story, but I am afraid it might sound like a lecture to reader rather than to her. Do you have an opinion on this matter?

3. I am afraid I have opened a can of worms by bringing up the topic of the relationship between Turkey and Armenia, and the relationship between the Christian World and the Islamic World in general. I am not trying to make a political statement, but am primarily using these things as a plot vehicle. Do you have an opinion on this matter?

4. What is your opinion of the plot/ storyline in general? I simply started with the thought of "I want to have the protagonists search for a lost ancient library in a Middle Eastern of North African desert themed land", and then I did research to find a quasi-historical justification for this plotline.

5. What things have I done well? What things do I most need to improve?

Do not restrict yourself to answering only those questions in your comment/ s.