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Unc Vs. Mxyl by ProfessorSodaMan



Nitri: They may appear to just be your standard old weirdos, but in reality-

bIzARRO: No, they AREN'T in reality! As a matter of fact, they prefer to trample all over reality before shoving it into an active volcano!

Nitri: ...these odd individuals are known as Uncle Grandpa, the helper of kids across the galaxy...

bIzARRO: ...and Mr. Mxyzptlk, the guy who likes annoying Superman.

Nitri: I'm Nitri, he's bIzARRO, and we're here to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to see who would win a Death Battle.

bIzARRO: Whoever wins, we lose.

*cue Uncle Grandpa theme-song*

bIzARRO: Who is the brother of Santa Claus, older than a dinosaur from the prehistoric era, and able to exist in all realities?

Nitri: No, this isn't a setup to a bad joke. This is Uncle Grandpa.

_________________

UNCLE GRANDPA

Real Name: Uncle Larry Grandpa (yeah, Grandpa is his last name)

Aliases: Bobo (apparently), Uncle G, Uncle Grandpa

Age: At least two billion years old

Height: Unspecified (shorter than Michael Jackson)

Feats: Travelling back in time and duelling with Christopher Columbus

Fighting dragons, eldrich abominations, disembodied heads, and various other villains

Has gotten an album released (full of all his greatest hits)

Was once a wrestler

_________________

Nitri: Now, you could wave away his amazing abilities as 'cartoon logic', but even in his universe, the things he can do are considered crazy.

bIzARRO: Why talk about how crazy they are when we could show them to you?!

Nitri: Yes, let's.

________________

ABILITIES

Durability
- Swimming in lava will cause no negative side affects to him (meaning he can withstand temperatures over one thousand degrees Fahrenheit)
- Being hammered with elbow drops and body blows (from a giant alien gladiator) just mildly annoyed him
- Doesn't react to being punched repeatedly in the chest (by a giant alien)
- Seemingly indestructable
- Can breathe in space


Intelligence
- Can instantaneously solve a math problem that an A.I. could not figure out

Stength
- Once turned the world upside down, which means he is capable of moving objects of over 1,000 trillion metric tons with only the power of his mind

POWERS

Duplicating himself instantaneously
- clones will come from offscreen, with no explanation given for how he created them
- Clones act exactly like the normal Uncle Grandpa acts

Teleporting
- Teleported into the program on his TV, meaning he can teleport to places he doesn't even know the real location of

Can breathe underwater (talks underwater just as he would on land)

Able to create time portals to other worlds at will

Can detach his body parts, including his head, from his body, and they are able to act on their own when apart from him. He can also grow extra limbs.

Can create devices out of seemingly random objects

Was able to walk on water

________________________

bIzARRO: so, can we just talk about how he can BREATHE UNDERWATER?!

Nitri: And swim in lava.

bIzARRO: Now, Uncle Grandpa alone is pretty powerful, but we also need to look at his neat weapons.

Nitri: Yeah, 'neat' is a word you could use to describe his weapons.

______________________

WEAPONS

Laser Pointer
- A gun that fires a rainbow beam
- It instantly vaporized the enemies that had it used on them
Letter Opener
- A blue, flame-like sword
- The enemy he stabbed with it was quickly vaporized
Laser Hammer
- A giant hammer that fires a red laser from it
Teleportation Laser
- Self-explanatory: being fired with this laser will cause someone to get teleported to a random location
- Is not a lethal weapon in the slightest

_______________________

Nitri: Now, these weapons do seem amazing, but we have only seen them being used a few times, and they usually weren't used in a batle against someone with another weapon.

bIzARRO: Are you suggesting any weapon could rival one that fires instantly vaporizing rainbows?

Nitri: Um, no. I'm saying they haven't been used in an actual battle; just against some mindless creatures.

bIzARRO: Oh, I get it.

Nitri: now, should Uncle Grandpa be allowed to use Belly Bag? He is always using it, so it would make sense for him to have it in this battle. However, he'll mainly be using these weapons... if he has to.

bIzARRO: He's a bit of an unpredictable guy. Now, let's look at his amazing vehicle!

_________________________

The RV

- Despite its size, the inside of it holds entire universes
- Uncle Grandpa is probably not the best at driving it

_________________________

Nitri: Yeah, it isn't known for its usefulness in battle. But it does hold many worlds which Uncle Grandpa has access to.

bIzARRO: Now, let's look at the weaknesses of this cosmic man.

__________________________

WEAKNESSES

- Despite his near invulerability, he is still able to feel pain and is very afraid of it

- Goes from being oblivious to danger to being afraid of mundane things

- Still able to get tired or starved to the point of passing out

- Can sometimes appear to be absent-minded and childish

__________________________

Nitri: Sure, Uncle Grandpa may not suffer any long-term injuries, but he still is afraid of pain. Plus, is able to get tired out, which you don't want to do in a battle.

bIzARRO: Well, his few weaknesses don't usually stop him from saving the day. But can he win against Superman's chaotic foe?

*MXyxyxylxpypltptktl*

bIzARRO: W-what's going on?

Nitri: I don't know, something seems to be wrong with our radio.

bIzARRO: I don't feel very- *suddenly explodes*

Nitri: AAAAHHHH!

*in bIzARRO's place, Mr. Mxyzptlk is now there*

Nitri: W-what are you doing here?!

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Oh, I just heard I was going to be fighting some lower-class reality warper, so I figured I'd come in to stop you from tarnishing my name.

Nitri: You blew up my best friend!

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Eh, I can easily bring him back. But for now, I'll be helping you explain how amazing my abilities are.

Nitri: Well, seeing as how you could easily kill me, I'll go along with your demands.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Excellent!

______________________

Mr. MXYZPTLK

Height: Unknown (much shorter than the Man of Steel)

Aliases: Incredibly Annoying (Mr. Mxyzptlk: Hey, don't think I can't see that!)

Feats: Creating an entire dimension
Killing most of the Legion of Super-heroes (this was really his 30th-century descendant)

surviving an encounter with Darkseid (who he was able to conjur into being to his location)

______________________

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Okay, let's skip all that fancy information and get to the part of me being the best.

Nitri: As you wish.

_______________________

ABILITIES

Speed
- Able to fly as fast as Superman, and probably faster
Durability
- Blowing up the universe that he is in wouldn't even cause him to flinch (and he would enjoy doing it, probably)
- Not much is known to hurt him
Strength
- Usually doesn't rely on his physical strength, so not much can be said here
Intelligence
-

POWERS

Can instantly transport himself and other beings across vast distances with the snap of a finger

He is immortal, and has been tormenting humans for centuries

Can bring inanimate bjects to life

As mentioned before, he can fly rather effortlessly

Can transform himself into anything organic or non-organic (such as a missile)

Telekinesis- able to move things with his mind

He can transform humans' mind and body into anything he feels

Is able to destoy entire universes/multiverses instantly

Similarly to Uncle Grandpa, he can remove his head without dying

Can live in space without oxygen (or any air)

Is capable of creating anything out of thin air

Able to alter time, too
_________________________________________________________________

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Yes, talk more about my epicness.

Nitri: Yes, your immense power is a bit impressive. The whole 'destroying multiverses' thing, especially.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: I would be capable of punching Superman into the sun, or winning in a fight against Galactus. But is it really any surprise to you?

Nitri: Well, you have no other weapons besides the abilities previously listed, so let's get to your weaknesses.

Mr. mxyzptlk: W-weaknesses?

___________________________________________

WEAKNESSES

Any effects left by his magic will be removed once he leaves, suggesting he must stay in the 3rd Dimension to keep it stable

Beings of the 4th or 5th dimensions or higher could probably treat him as he could treat any of the humans he's messed with

He usually is over-confident in his abilities (though he has every reason to be confident in them), and will underestimate his foes

He can be forced back into his own dimension if you get him to pronounce his name backwards

Though he is a trickster, he has been tricked alot (Superman was finding new ways to get him to say his name backwards every week, and Bugs Bunny himself was clever enough to defeat him)

Not smart enough to realize when he's being duped until it's too late, and was stupid enough to tell Superman how to defeat him (as he didn't think he could get him to say it, which relates to the 'over-confident' thing)

________________________________________

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Did you dare to call ME stupid?!

Nitri: W-well, you telling Superman the one way to defeat you wasn't the SMARTEST thing to do.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: You know, they retconned that.

Nitri: Yes, but we want to keep things fair, so we are sticking with the Batman: The Animated Series version of you, mixed with your original pre-reboot version from the comics.

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Okay, fair enough.

Nitri: can you bring back my friend now?

Mr. Mxyzptlk: Fine, but the battle better be good. *snaps fingers, making him disappear, with bIzARRO re-materializing in his place*

bIzARRO: I don't feel very- wait, what happened?

Nitri: You... fainted.

bIzARRO: oh, okay. *drinks a soda*

Nitri: Which reality-warping weirdo will win? Well, we will reveal the results!

bIzARRO: Alliteration hurts me.
I hope you like the results I came up with, and I hope you enjoy the battle I make for these characters. 

Coming after this DEATH BATTLE: A battle between two classic click-and-point video game characters.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrodriguez0:
rodriguez0 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015
yeah well uncle grandpas screwed
Reply
:iconjirouzoroark:
JirouZoroark Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015
Mxyzptlk wins because of better durability, better reality warping, altering time and the fact Mxyzptlk soloes Grandpa in the quality department.
Reply
:iconmustache-twirler:
Mustache-Twirler Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I root for Mxyzptlk. 
Reply
:iconpsychicpotato:
PsychicPotato Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015
I look forward to reading this once it's done
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2015  Student Writer
Thanks, I'll have fun writing it.
Reply
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November 4, 2015
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