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Sergeant Anous

First Appearance: 2009 (in Grammar Police)

Job: Police Officer/Sergeant

Age: Might be in his 30's

Height: Most likely 5′ 8″ (Same as his actor)

Feats: Confused Anthony for the burglar he was protecting him from

Promptly got killed by a plastic baseball bat

Pulled over Tingle for speeding (to get to the hospital) and shot him after seeing him pull out a sword

Shot Anthony for 'wasting a perfectly good gummy snake' 

Hosted a game show with three episodes

Managed to be part of the regular police force, the Grammar Police, and the Bottled Water Police (which means he enforces that everyone drinks bottles water, and will likely shoot someone who doesn't)





Takes grammar and bottled water as seriously as he takes crime

Doesn't listen to reason (as his BULLSHIT exclamation proves), even if he is clearly wrong 
 - Ex. When telling Anthony that he should've used the crosswalk, he was told that there were no cars coming, but he exclaimed "BULLSHIT!" and began shooting even after looking both ways and seeing that Anthony was right

 - Lackluster
  - Being hit by a plastic baseball bat ten times in the head somehow killed him
  - Screamed unbearably in pain after shooting himself with a Nerf gun
 - He does seem to come back after dying
Puuunch by ProfessorSodaMan
 - Knocked someone out with a punch (using the hand he was holding his gun with)
  - It is indicated that he had a slight running start, but he couldn't have been running from that far based on when he begins yelling before he delivers the punch, and he wasn't really running at all
 - Managed to grab and pull someone forcibly out of their house as he was standing outside their doorway and pin them against the wall
  - This is less impressive when you remember this person was probably meant to be a child
 - After grabbing hold of someone and punching them twice in the stomach, he easily threw them to the ground
  - The two punches he gave them left them coughing a bit, which could indicate what the force of the punches were
 - Able to somehow rip off someone's penis
 - Seems to be at normal human speed
 - Knows plenty about the law 
  - Ex.  knows you need a permit to hunt ducks
 - Knows various ways or steps to avoid being robbed
  - The only reason they didn't work was because of Anthony's intelligence
 - Still,not that smart
  - Can't tell the difference between Anthony and a Burglar 
   - He thinks all white people look the same
  - A "Get Out Of Jail Free" card actually works on him
   - He shot Anthony anyway for leaving the scene of the crime
  - Somehow thought someone's penis was a gun
  - Saying "April Fool's" to him will allow a criminal to get away with a crime
 - Pretty skilled with a gun and never misses his target
 - Can shoot a gun with his feet 
Disguise by ProfessorSodaMan

 - Hid in a pile of laundry, waiting for the right moment to catch a criminal redhanded
 - Disguised himself as a woman once by making his voice sound exactly like a woman's voice, wearing a mask that looked exactly like a woman's face, and wearing a dress
  - It is possible he could disguise himself as other people besides a woman, too

Bullet Propulsion
Armptbullets by ProfessorSodaMan

 - He has been seen firing bullets from his nipples, eyes (by blinking), fingers, and other assorted body parts, with no real explanation for where the bullets come from
 - Ex-Girlfriend can shoot bullets from mustache, so he might be able to do so as well

Fourth Wall Breaking

 - Always addresses the camera during the How-To videos, so he clearly knows the audience is there
 - While it does sometimes seem like he does this because he is in a How-To series, he did once talk to the audience by putting his head inside a mailbox, which wouldn't make sense for an actual How-To series

Float by ProfessorSodaMan
 - Showed the ability to float around up to three feet above the ground for a few seconds before safely landing back on his feet 

Aaaah by ProfessorSodaMan
 - Managed to teleport from outside (where his face somehow got stuck in a mailbox) to inside Anthony's house, where he continued to address the camera 
  - Could explain how he always shows up whenever something he doesn't like is going on

Time Manipulation
Frozen by ProfessorSodaMan
 - Whenever he is addressing the audience, time will be completely frozen, allowing him to touch people who are frozen
  - When this is activated, it is indicated by a flash of light; same for when it is deactivated
 - It explains why he has the time to do a self-portrait during the How-To video, and how he can do it in someone else's house
 - He can also rewind time after saying "Let's try that again," which will rewind time back to a certain point to demonstrate an alternative/correct way to
do something to avoid the bad thing that had happened



 - Just a regular taser, man
 - His actually is pink, like this one is
 - A taser is capable of an output of 
50,000 volts
Nerf Gun

 - His looks slightly different, but is basically the same
 - Just shooting someone three times will cause them to fall to the ground, yelling in pain

 - Used frequently in his daily life to shoot things and people
 - Skilled with using it
 - Doesn't seem to run out of bullets
 - Able to turn into an AK-47 for more rapid fire
 - A couple of shots from this gun easily killed Jacob from Twilight, who is a werewolf
  - That means the bullets could possibly be silver in order to kill a werewolf, or the gun is just so powerful it can kill a werewolf without silver bullets
 - It managed to kill three guys, despite Anous only aiming in two different spots with the gun and firing just over 12 bullets
 - Somehow, it can fire bullets out of its hilt while he is holding it by the other end

Image result for baton
- Never actually seen to be used by him, but he was seen holding it

Cop Car

- Surprisingly, not used very often 
- Still, it can be assumed he would have one, and he's proven to drive it well

Deadddddd by ProfessorSodaMan

His personality traits (egotistical, short-tempered, etc.) don't  always lead him to victory
Not exactly known for his battle-ready attitude
Surprisingly weak
 - A plastic baseball bat killed him, and he shrieked unbearably in pain after shooting himself with his own Nerf gun

Not the smartest

He takes grammar and bottled water a bit too seriously (ex. he tased someone because they didn't care about using the right form of 'they're')

His taser can somehow break, even after he had used it just once before

Thinks that you can solve all your problems by shooting

Despite his surprising powers, he does not use them to their full potential
 - When time is frozen, he only ever talked to the audience, or spent his time doing something completely unrelated to what he was talking about 
 - Same can be said about his teleportation- it is only used as a way to instantly be in the area where a crime is being comitted (at least, what he considers a crime), and once to teleport into someone's house with time frozen

"Hi kids. Officer Anous here. There are two types of people in this world: good-for-nothing criminals, and officers of the law, so that's why I'm here to show you how to become a police officer! Let's go!"
I wonder if anyone wants to use a Smosh character in a DEATH BATTLE. This was fun to make.
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Ronnie12222 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2017  Student Artist
sooshirohl Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Waiting for that Ted Bear vs Sergeant Anous battle.
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2017  Student Writer
Would that be a good battle idea? It would be very funny!
EevilJ Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2017
Nice job.

He would fight:
Chief Wiggum
Inspector Gadget
James “Jim” Ronald Dangle
Paul Blart
Nicholas Angel
Inspector Clouseau
Buford T. Justice
Adrian Monk
Frank Drebin
Major (Black Sunshine)
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2017  Student Writer
Paul Blart vs. Sergeant Anous is a fair fight now that I think about it, as both are similar in speed, and intelligence
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Actually I realized something. Sergeant Anous is a character who:
-wears blue
-can take someone down with a few quick shots
-has been shown to go down pathetically easy
-can teleport

So, either, I'm crazy, or I thought up a match for him that actually somewhat makes sense

Sans Shrug Chat Icon 
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Student Writer
Wow, that does make plenty of sense

And both are able to remain alive for a couple of seconds before dying pathetically (Sergeant Anous was alive long enough to post a photo onto Instagram before dying, and Sans was able to walk offscreen before he died).
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
It would be an especially intresting fight since it mostly boils down to, "Who can get a hit in first?"

I might make that idea into a DBX
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Student Writer
The battle would most likely start with Sergeant Anous interrupting the Sans battle, thinking Sans is attacking an innocent kid.
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
That sounds hilarious. Could if I use that in the DBX ( I will credit you)
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Student Writer
Yeah, you can! Since it is a DBX, though, you probably don't need to link to the bio unless you just want people to know about all of his abilities.
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Student Writer
No prob!
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I could see him fighting officer Maloney from Venturian
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2016  Student Writer
I actually had the thought a real long time ago (basically a year or two ago) about how Maloney would do in a DEATH BATTLE. 

Anous having so many bullets from many places while Maloney has... a bubble gun/water gun/something I forgot almost makes him a bit too OP for this match, but I do remember that Maloney's tazer would totally work to kill Anous, since ol' stopper of people right there has no durability and is actually super weak.
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I'll think of this fight, as another one of the bios I'm working on is Maloney.

(I have a lot of bios lined up that should come out after Ice King vs Sub-Zero)
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2016  Student Writer
I just remembered that both of Maloney's seemingly ridiculous guns actually deal some pretty decent damage for being so silly.
TheUberchargedGuy217 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2016
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Student Writer
What would be a better idea for a battle featuring this guy: A 'useless cops' theme with him fighting Officer Wiggum from The Simpsons, or a 'Bad Cops vs. Bad Robbers' theme with him fighting some robber character?
TheUberchargedGuy217 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016
Probably a Bad Cop vs Bad Robbers theme. Maybe he could fight Marv and Harry from Home Alone .3.
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Student Writer
AU in which Kevin has a phone, calls the police on the robbers, and Sergeant Anous happened to be the only one awake.
TheUberchargedGuy217 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016
That would be hilarious! XD
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Student Writer
Yeah it would. 

The robbers' only weapons are blunt weapons, but they are able to suffer injuries that would result in broken necks and death and live.
TheUberchargedGuy217 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016
Yup, and Sergeant Anous dies from a plastic bat. XD

But they most likely most survive a bullet to the chest or something like that. XD
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Student Writer
They'd need to come up with a good plan to stop Sergeant Anous from firing his bullets. Like, one of them could throw a crowbar at his head.
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Submitted on
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