Nitri: When we say the words "Pokemon Trainer", you'll either think of Ash from the cartoons, or Red from the games... and one of the cartoons.
bIzARRO: However, those Pokemon Trainers are actually rather good at catching Pokemon, unlike these trainers.
Nitri: There's Rusty, the ten year world described as 'blackhearted' by a team rocket member...
bIzARRO: and SMG4's Mario, who uses his own brother as a Pokemon.
Nitri: I'm Nitri, and he's bIzARRO, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a DEATH BATTLE.
Survived a car crash that his dad was badly injured from
Became a member of Team Rocket, but later abandoned the job
Burned down Battlehaus after being told to do so
Killed many of his own Pokemon by accident
Accidently ran over a child that he failed to steal the Pokemon of before
Turned his first Pokemon into the most sociopathic, cruel, and hate-filled Pokemon that Team Rocket has ever seen
Was sentenced to time in prison for his Beedrill's actions
bIzARRO: You'd expect a ten year old with access to dangerous creatures to do some stupid things, but this kid should win the "Stupid Mistakes" award.
Nitri: While this kid isn't a sociopath, he does have a knack for accidently killing his Pokemon and generally not treating them the best.
bIzARRO: His first ever Pokemon was turned evil because of how he repeatedly threw rocks at it to try and evolve it, and it first evolved 'out of pure happiness' when it was touched by a Team Rocket member. That doesn't help with Rusty's image, but it isn't like he's trying to fix it.
Nitri: When he's behind bars for what his Beedrill did (which he named Pikachu), he'll have plenty of time to think about his future.
Very adamant about following his dreams, even if his parents don't approve
Extremely enthusiastic about following in Red's footsteps
- Even named his first Pokemon after Red's favorite
Is typically oblivious to the bad things he sometimes does, such as abusing his Pokemon
Even after a car crash that left his dad needing a hospital, he was still more focused on becoming a Pokemon master
Isn't interested in the parts of being a Pokemon trainer that are not fun (like math)
Easily encouraged by awards, even if they are fake (or participation awards)
Morals are easily corrupted
- Was convinced to steal a Pokemon after a Team Rocket member responded with 'Nah' to the question of "Isn't stealing kind of wrong?"
Was rather quick to give up in the face of a challenge (aka a tree blocking his path)
bIzARRO: You can tell by his appearance alone that he is a Red fanatic.
Nitri: He's always aiming to be like Red- from naming his Pokemon after Red's to trying to get a rival.
bIzARRO: Besides trying to be like this Red-clothed mute, Rusty is known for easily being lead to doing bad things- like stealing a Pokemon while being a Team Rocket member.
Nitri: He also aims to have fun as a Pokemon trainer, which is why he disliked EV Training.
Skills and Abilities
- Went longer than two days without knowing that you could heal Pokemon
- Thought that he actually has to catch every Pokemon he sees
- Saw no problem in catching multiple Bidoofs in one Pokeball
- Thought that a Bulbasaur with a birth defect was a rare Pokemon
- Still treated catching a comatose Snorlax as a battle
- Was happy to buy a bike for a million dollars
- The bike was revealed to be filled with weed
- Dragged his first Pokemon around on a leash instead of keeping it in its Pokeball
- Thought that ice Pokemon beat fire Pokemon
- Thought that criminals would participate in a Pokemon battle with him
- Thought that his on-fire Bidoof was evolving
- Mistook a Tentacool's tentacles for wires
bIzARRO: As you can tell from watching an episode of the webseries, Rusty's knowledge of Pokemon is as good as my knowledge in Greek mythology.
Nitri: That's very true. For instance, he went a couple days without knowing he could heal his Pokemon; he just threw them away when they fainted.
bIzARRO: I see why he was called 'heartless'.
Nitri: Mistaking Tentacool's tentacles for electric wires, thinking that ice beats fire, and assuming that a Bidoof that was in flames was evolving are just some of the things that encapsulate his intelligence.
- Was able to easily lift and throw a Kakuna, which weighs 22 pounds/10 kg
- As the image shows, he dropped Rattata's health to zero upon hitting it with Kakuna
- Also easily dragged a Kakuna around on a leash
- LLifted and threw a Zubat by its wing, which weighs 16.5 pounds
- Easily dragged a Bidoof on a leash, which weighs 44.1 pounds
bIzARRO: He may not be a Pokemon expert, but he sure can pull their weight around with ease.
Nitri: It's already impressive to be able to throw a Kakuna like it's nothing, but compared to dragging a 44.1 pound animal around on a leash, it is nothing.
bIzARRRO: Who would've thought that you could use your own Pokemon as a weapon?
Nitri: Rusty tossing Zubat into the river by its wing doesn't sound too hard for him anymore.
- Showed no injury from a car crash (with a Snorlax) that sent him flying through the car window and landing facefirst on the road, while his dad ended up needing a hospital from the same car crash
- Was hit in the face by an angry Beedrill's stingers and knocked to the ground and got up immediately, showing no injury
- The same Beedrill was shown to be able to stab people badly with its stingers
- It still seemed to hurt him, since he yelled in pain
- Has said to have drowned before
- Was mauled by an Eevee told to rip his throat out and was shown with no visible injuries in the next scene
- Was brutally beaten, with blood spraying all over his Bidoof and leaving a puddle on the ground, and was shown to be fine in the next scene
- Forcibly pushed to the ground by a cop and got up quickly
- Survived being tazed
- Was thrown headfirst into a tree by a Geodude and was fine
bIzARRO: Does he have a healing factor or something?
Nitri: It's never said so in the series, but he has been brutally beaten (with a puddle of blood) and seemed to be alright in the next sceene, so it's a possibility.
bIzARRO: Along with that, he was thrown head first into a small tree and suffered no brain damage... at least, none that we could detect.
Nitri: He also showed no damage from a carcrash that his dad needed a hospital because of.
- Avoided gunfire
bIzARRO: And to think we almost thought that he had no feats of speed.
Nitri: As you can see in the above pic, Rusty was able to avoid getting shot by his Beedrill, who very much wanted to kill him.
bIzARRO: Is it possible that the Beedrill's lack of gun skill allowed Rusty to avoid being shot?
Nitri: Let's just give him this feat, alright? He needs it.
- Was able to survive on his own for months while sleeping in the woods
- Claims to know how to drive
- Feet can not reach pedals
- A decent bike rider
bIzARRO: You have to admit that being able to survive for months is a bit impressive.
Nitri: We never see him do it, but you have to assume that Rusty has had to have gotten food.
bIzARRO: While Rusty has claimed to know how to drive, he can't even reach the pedals, so we could assume he's not as good at it as he says.
Nitri: He's good at riding a bike, though.
- Used to catch Pokemon
- Can capture humans in them as well
- Able to contain more than one Pokemon in one ball
- Chances of those Pokemon remaining alive because of that are slim
- Basically a normal bike
- Spend a million dollars on it (with his dad's credit card)
- Was actually filled with weed
- Burned a small tree into ash, and quickly started a bad forest fire
bIzARRO: Pokeballs, bike, lit match. Perfectly normal.
Nitri: You see, Rusty was inspired by Red to use fire to get rid of a tree in his path, so he just lit a match and burned the tree away.
bIzARRO: The more ordinary things he has are Pokeballs and a bike- his Pokeballs being able to capture both Pokemon and humans.
Nitri: His bike was filled with weed, but it can be assmed that he kept it after the drugs were removed.
(His Pokemon will be given moves based on their level.)
- Captured and healed at the Pokemon center after being hit with a truck
- Level 22
-Slams target with whole body
-Curls up and raises DEF
-Clears mind of worries
-Sharply raises SPDEF...somehow
-Licks opponent with long tongue
-May cause paralysis
-Strikes repeatedly, looking for an opening
-Causes target to fall asleep after a time
-Maximizes ATK power
-Requires 1/2 of its base HP to use
bIzARRO: BEHOLD: THE ONLY POKEMON WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM KILL.
Nitri: While plenty of his Pokemon have been shown to have died, this Pokemon's fate was not revealed.
bIzARRO: Since the Snorlax he captured was Level 22 when we first met him, we made sure to specifically give him the moves a level 22 would have.
Nitri: Including Tackle, which most likely would crush your Pokemon under their weight.
- Knows very little about Pokemon at all
- Rather incompetent (as Dorkly themselves said)
- Has killed many of his Pokemon in the past because of stupidity
- Easily tricked into doing bad things
- Doesn't seem to have a good sense of danger
- Saw a news story about a police bust of a gym and chose to head there
- Is a coward, and easily intimated by Team Rocket members
bIzARRO: If you know anything about Rusty, you'll know that he is pretty incompetent.
Nitri: With that incompetence, he's managed to kill his Pokemon on many occasions.
bIzARRO: He's also tricked very easily, but he's 10, so that's not a unique trait.
Nitri: Despite his cowardice and his many dead Pokemon, he has accomplished... things. But can he defeat the more self-centered version of our favorite plumber?
Date of Birth: July 5, 2011
Weight: around 94,300,000,000 kg (seriously: youtu.be/ZTVxM-uAuKs)
Feats: Beat Sans in a fight
Defeated GLaDOS, despite her analysis of him as being "completely hopeless"
Won several Pokemon battles without having that much knowledge of how to do it
Managed to scare Freddy Fazbear, Purple Guy and the Marionette
Made Papyrus fall in love with him
Went crazy after doing nothing but play Pokemon Go for five days straight
bIzARRO: Right off the bat, you can see how this Mario is different than the normal one- he was born 5 years ago.
Nitri: He also weighs over ninety billion kilograms, and defeated Sans himself.
bIzARRO: But not before making his brother fall in love with him.
Nitri: In his most recent adventure, he went crazy after playing Pokemon Go for most of a week, which sounds normal until you learn he turned Super Saiyan.
Thinks of himself very highly
Does not care much about other people- even his own brother
- Would sacrifice him
- Cared more about getting Pokeballs in Pokemon GO than saving the princess
Tends to be freaked out by new things he discovers in the games he is dropped into
Will act extremely violent to accomplish the stupidest of goals
bIzARRO: I guess in the SMG4 World, Matthew Patrick's theory about Mario being a sociopath could be true.
Nitri: I'm not quite sure about that, but he is shown to not care much about other people.
bIzARRO: He once told Luigi he only took him with him so that Luigi could be used as a sacrifice.
Nitri: Typically, Mario will rely on violence to get what he wants- even if what he wants is to cach Pokemon in Pokemon GO.
Skills and Abilities
- IQ has been said to be -42125 by GLaDOS
- Confused concrete for his world's bricks
- Thought a person wearing a hairnet was Toad
- Thinks 9 plus 10 is 21, and being asked what 1 plus 1 was made his head explode
- Thought Flowey was a fire flower, despite how different he looked from one
- Thought that spaghetti could be used as a strength enhancement
- Somehow thought that a Zubat in Pokemon GO was actually real, which lead to him throwing his phone at a tree
- First instinct upon obtaining the Portal Device was to try and take a selfie with it
- Killed himself in TF2 by aiming a sniper rifle backwards and not realizing it
- Despite is record of acting stupid, he has his rare moments of brilliance
- Was able to hack into GLaDOS's cameras so that she could only view Teletubbies
- Was able to formulate a plan to defeat Purple Guy
- The plan didn't go exactly as he had hoped, though
bIzARRO: If ou thought it was stupid for Rusty to think that Tentacool's tentacles were wires, just check out how smart this Mraio guy is.
Nitri: With an IQ stated by GLaDOS to be below zero, it's not too hard to guess his intelligence.
bIzARRO: Sure, he can formulate plans and even hack cameras, but those rare moments of brilliance are even rarer than Patrick's.
Nitri: When he's not replacing GLaDOS's camera feed with Teletubbies, he is having his head explode after being asked to solve simple math equations.
- Can casually throw Luigi as if he was a stone
- Luigi is said to weigh 185-210 pounds (source: answers.wikia.com/wiki/How_muc…)
- Can throw Princess Peach into the air with enough force for her to break through the window and still continue flying
- Punching the Cube-Dispensing Tube was able to make cubes fall out of it
- Could throw his computer monitor at Withered Chica and knock her to the ground
- Desktop monitors usually weigh 9.9 kg
- Tossed a spaghetti vending machine onto the road
- Kicking Mettaton made him switch personalities
- Hit Chica onto a table (with a crowbar) with enough force for the table to break
- Threw his phone against a tree with enough force to knock him off his fet upon bouncing backand hitting him
- Was able to toss a Magikarp like a stone
- Magikarps weigh 22 pounds
bIzARRO: While Rusty can throw a Kakuna like a stone, Mario can throw his own brother like a stone. Not a fair comparison.
Nitri: Being able to hit Chica with that much force is more impressive, since one peerson estimaated them to weigh 420 pounds. (source: freddy-fazbears-pizza.wikia.co…)
bIzARRO: It was hard to find the weight of a spaghetti vending machine, but we could assume it would weigh as much as a normal vending machine- which can be 510 pounds or 812 pounds. (www.bmigaming.com/games-vendin…)
Nitri: We sure do love sources today.
- Fast enough to dodge Sans's bones and his gaster blasters
- During one of the Portal puzzles, was able to run off the button and through the door before it closed
- His lower half was cut off, though
- Also fast enough to dodge all of Undyne's spears
- Dodged a cop car by moving slightly to the left
bIzARRO: We can't really calculate how fast Sans's bones or his gaster blasters are, but we can calculate how fast a cop car can be- up to around 120 miles an hour.
Nitri: the Portal doors open and close rather fast- in around .40 seconds. We can take what Mario's height might be- 4 feet- and use that to measure the distance from the button to the door.
bIzARRO: As you told me, the distance from the door to the button was estimated to be around 8 feet, which means that Mario travelled 20 feet per second- or around 14 miles per hour.
Nitri: This is just a rough estimation, but that wouldn't matter, since Mario wa able to dodge a cop car very easily.
- Survived a fall that destroyed Mettaton, who has an extremely tough metal shell
- Was caused no harm by having multiple people thrown at him from a speeding car driving in front of him
- Received no harm from having a portal close on him
- Ate a High Energy Pellet, which would instantly vaporize Chell, and only received some fiery breath
- Was hit by a fireball and was only singed and not hurt for real
- Flatlined once, indicating that his heart stopped, but was fine seconds later
- Hit his head against concrete and had his head turn crooked (as if his neck was snapped) and still remained conscious
- Survived a fall of over 26,000 ft (indicated by the fact he fell from over the clouds), and landed on the ground without much injury (though he landed on both SMG4 and a health inspector)
bIzARRO: If you can survive what Mettaton can't, you should survive a lot.
Nitri: And if you can eat something that vaporizes a normal (albiet mute) person, you can eat anything.
bIzARRO: Furthermore, if you can hit our head against concrete and not get a concussion... you are pretty special.
Nitri: A portal closing on you would probably cut you in half, but not for Mario.
- Got his lower half cut off and had it reappear in the next scene
- Head exploded, but later reappeared
- His naked body is so repulsive that droids become defective and explode upon seeing him
- a missile-firing droid actually killed itself with TNT upon seeing it
- Getting naked earned him 21 stars in GTA 5, which is over 4 times the amount you usually can get
- can pull random objects out of nowhere to use as barricades or throw at Toad
- Mario has the body of Michael Jackson in this form, and dances to the song "Everybody Dance Now"
- This turns the once lifeless children into regular dancing children (with one becoming Snoop Dogg)
Super Mario Chest Bump
- Caused a massive explosion
- Actually killed someone
- In this form, he was able to grow to the size of the Earth and catch it with a Pokeball
- Could possibly have the powers of an actual Super Saiyan in this form, but it is unknown
Fourth Wall Breaking
- Can hear someone's theme song when they appear
- Can climb walls
- was about to become level 99532 in Pokemon GO after playing it for five days
bIzARRO: We decided to speedrun some of his abilities, such as his regeneration and his robot-destroying ugliness.
Nitri: Mario can also pull random things out of Hammerspace to block doors or throw at Toad, and he can dance good enough to... give children life.
bIzARRO: Next up, he can chestbump someone to make them explode, and turn Super Saiyan in order to "Catch" the Earth.
Nitri: Finally, he is able to climb walls, and he became Level 99532 in Pokemon GO in five days. We don't play Pokemon GO, so you guys can say if that's impressive.
- Unlike the actual item from Pokemon, this item kills Pokemon upon being used on them
- Does not kill real people, though
- used to kill Groudon in one shot
- Shoots two portals that link to each other
- Could be used as an explosive as it is in the game
- Taken straight from TF2
- Used to blow up Foxy the Pirate Fox
- Could be used to blow up other enemies
- Looks like Mangle from FNAF 2
- Fires missiles from her mouth that cause massive explosions
- Given to him by Franklin
- Used to throw into ventilation system to blow up Balloon Boy
- Was used to throw at and knock out Trevor
- Given to him by the Heavy
- Rather useless
- Doesn't actually tell him very useful information
- Only described Pikachu by saying "Pikachus have ears"
- It can be used on humans as well
- Can use them to catch Pokemon, humans, Yoshis, and machines
- To make sure his Pokemon stays in the ball, he will put chains on the ball to keep it shut
- Knocked Princess Peach to the ground by hitting her with one
- Fires a lot of Pokeballs at his target
- Useful for catching Pokemon (or humans, if you're that crazy)
- Allowed the user to jump really high into the air, as if they were flying
- Upon being given to Scout, he was sent flying into the air before he exploded
- Probably works for Mario as it does in the game
- set a GTA person on fire once he obtained it
Nitri: Item speed run: he has instant-death Repel, a pistol that he used to oneshot Groudon, and a Portal Gun that he was confident about not needing to use to play Portal.
bIzARRO: There's the very explosive Bombomb, a Rocket Launcher taken from GTA 5 that he uses in other games, Mangle Launcher, a missile-firing weapon made out of Mangle, and a Machine Gun.
Nitri: He has a Grenade used to try and kill Balloon Boy, a frying pan used to knock out Trevor, a Nerf Gun that is very useless, and an almost equally useless Pokedex.
bIzARRO: There are the Pokeballs that can capture Pokemon, humans, machines, and planets, a Pokegun that fires a large amount of Pokeballs to capture Pokemon (and his brother), a Purple Mushroom that allowed the only person who ever used it to jump high into the air, a red mushroom that caused Scout to fly into the air and explode... and a Fire Flower, which caused a GTA 5 person to burst into flames upon using it, but most likely works normal for him.
- Used to catch up to a blue racing car owned by a Gym Trainer
- Was also used to hit Foxy and fling him far across the screen
- used to run over the rest of the children in the "Freddy's spaghettiria" minigame when Mario didn't feel like giving out anymore cake
- can drive it without touching the wheel
- It is just an ordinary van
Nitri: If you want to know what kind of guy this Mario is, he is willing to run children over with a tank just so he won't have to help them.
bIzARRO: Of course, Mario can't be Mario without his Mario Kart. This Kart could catch up to a Sports Car easily.
Nitri: Othet than being able to be driven without touhing the wheel, his van is pretty normal.
bIzARRO: Pretend I said something useful here.
Mario Animatronic Form
- The first thing it saw was immediately determined to be spaghetti
- Used a rocket launcher, a Flame Thrower, and a double barrel shotgun to try and kill his brother for the above reason
- Was taken down with a punch from Luigi and from a Balloon Boy being launched at him,
- The punch turned him back to his regular self
- Was able to launch an unbelievable amount of spaghetti plates at Purple Guy while repeatedly saying "Lotsa Spaghetti"
Nitri: What an odd form for Mario to have.
bIzARRO: This form was not his choice; he was turned into this by the animatronics at the Spaghettiria, and this form is not entirely functional.
Nitri: Confusing his own brother for spaghetti sure is a mistake.
bIzARRO: Well, he can use a Flame Thrower, so that's cool.
Super Useful Luigi (he is just normal Luigi)
- Did not do anything
- Kick in the nuts
- Luigi uses this move once told to "f--- him up"
- The first time it was used, it was rejected, and the second attempt was interrupted immediately
- Spin Attack
- Did not know the move, but Mario made him do it anyway by spinning him around
- Thunder Smash
- Hurt himself upon using it, and the actual attack (a fireball) was not very effective
- Actually caused Luigi to lose one HP and fly back against the wall
- It is unknown if this move would've been effective, but Luigi attempted to do it while crying and flailing his arms in front of him, so it is doubtful
- Poltergust 3000
- Terrified the animatronics, and sucked up BB
- Could be thrown at Springtrap to knock him out
- It has a 'blow' mode that fires whatever it has sucked up at its target at a high speed
- This is what Luigi turns into after eating spaghetti
- It is not permenant, as he turns back after winning the battle
- Only needed to twinkle his eye to send Gary and his Weedle flying far into the sky
Nitri: His first Pokemon is his own brother, who should stick to plumbing.
bIzARRO: The moves that Luigi has used in the past have been ineffective- and one of them took away one of his own hit points.
Nitri: Honestly, I fel like his 'Kick in the nuts' move would be the most eeffective.
bIzARRO: Weell, his Weegee form will turn the tables around.
- Generally acts incredibly annoying to Mario
- uses an AK-47
Nitri: Here's a Pokemon he'd be reluctant to use.
bIzARRO: Fun fact: when he first caught him, he had to put chains on the Pokeball to keep him in.
Nitri: Despite how Toad acts like just an insanely annoying (and possibly just insane) mushroom, he does have some usefulness.
bIzARRO: By that, you mean 'a gun'.
- Mario usually just throws him
- Swift Swim
Nitri: Who knew that someone who could throw his own brother would have a fish as a pet?
bIzARRO: Don't underestimate Magikarp. He makes a good weapon.
Nitri: Yeah, Mario basically just throws him instead of using him like a normal Pokemon.
bIzARRO: Goes to show how much he relies on ol' Karpy.
- a legendary Pokemon
- Egg Bomb
- pengaz fires lightning from mouth that instantly turns it target into ashes
- It was first used on the trainer
Nitri: Don't be worried if you don't recognise this Pokemon.
bIzARRO: I would be more worried about battling it, because of how powerful it is.
Nitri: It's only been shown to know one move- Egg Bomb, which turned its target into ash.
bIzARRO: So, an electric type? Cool.
- Despite his smart moments, he is still generally stupid
- Low IQ speaks for itself
- Can still die from things most people die from (like being shot)
- Will go out of his way to eat anything he can find- especially spaghetti
- Goes as far to ignore his actual mission to eat food
- Can be as much as a coward as his brother
- Can even faint from seeing disturbing sights (like a talking, decapitated head)
- Way too overconfident at times
- This leads him to make bad decisions, like not using his portal gun because he thinks he's skilled enough to to the puzzle without it
- Rather immature and childlike
- Was shown to be bad at driving Franklin's car
- Will black out if he loses Pokemon
- Turns to violence way too fast
- Was told to 'piss off' and proceeded to kill someone with an explosion-creating chest bump (mentioned above)
- The idea of exercising makes him run away in terror
- Playing a video game for too long made him lose his grip on reality
- Useless in battle, unless he is turned into Weegee
- An absolute coward, and will explode if scared enough
- He recovered, though
Nitri: Obviously, Mario's biggest weakness might be his low, low intelligenc.
bIzARRO: Add that to his overconfidence in himself, the way he can be a coward like his brother, and how he will go crazy and jump on the nearest plate of food he sees, you get someone who wouldn't make a great opponent.
Nitri: Mario has also blacked out after losing all his Pokemon, and his main Pokemon- Luigi- is absolutely useless in battle.
bIzARRO: Despite Mario's stupidity, overconfidence, immaturity, and violent tendencies, he has been able to accomplish some great things... sometimes because of the stupidity of people around him... but can he defeat the 10 year old known for accidently killing his Pokemon? Find out next time on DEATH BATTLE!
Tell me who you think will win in the comments and why! I think I might've already figured it out, but it is good to hear someone else's thoughts.
I can see Rusty as Frankie. "Who Wants a Muffin?!"
Well it looked at first like Mario would win easily, but he sounds so dumb that he's just as likely to defeat himself as he is to defeat Rusty. Maybe he'd do both, seems perfectly plausible.
Hmm....going with SMG4 Mario here cuz of his hax....EVERYTHING
I can tell this might be a pretty fun match, although I really don't like Rusty's chances, especially concerning Mario has tanks, guns and can cause outright explosions!
I'm glad you're looking forward to it. It's going to be crazy mixing together the humor or Pokemon Rusty and SMG4.
With Rusty's dumbness and Mario's far more consistent intelligence, (Glados is clearly wrong (can never get the capitalization order correct)) Mario's diversity, hax, and arguably superior Luigi should make for an easy win.