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Nitri: The combatants are set: Let's end this battle once and for all!

bIzARRO: ONE PUUUUUUUUNCH vs. Captain Planet, GO!

Saitama sighed deeply, bored out of his mind from having to sit through such a long meeting. He understood the importance of them, but he didn't know why they had to talk for so long in one sitting. With a blank expression on his face, he threw his empty bottle of water to the trash can, but the bottle bounced off the side and landed on the grass. Paying no mind, he simply continued walking to his home.

Little did he know that five teenagers of different cultures were all watching him. These teens were dubbed the Planeteers, and they were simply appalled to see someone commit such a crime against nature.

"Who would just throw trash on the ground without a second thought?" Wheeler asked.

"Yeah," Ma-Ti agreed, "and it's even worse when it's something recyclable." 

Kwame exclaimed, "I know one person who can teach this guy a thing or two about trash!" 

Then, all the teens exclaimed at once as they held their rings together, "CAPTAIN PLANET!" 

Their rings began to glow bright, and soon, the shape of a person formed in the brightness. The person had blue skin with green hair, and he wore red gloves, boots, barely a shirt, and underwear. This was Captain Planet, and he landed on his feet with a smirk on his face.

"Don't worry, Planeteers," He declared, "I will deal with this care-free corruptor of nature!" 

Thinking nothing of the blue half-dressed man who had appeared out of nothing, Saitama continued walking along the path toward his home. He didn't think that the blue man was going to step in front of him with his hand held up, keeping him from moving along.

"Excuse me, sir," Saitama said to Captain Planet, "but I'm on my way home, and you're in my way."

Captain Planet seemingly ignored Saitama's statement as he pointed to the empty bottle of water on the ground.

"Don't you know the effect that plastic bottle will have on our planet if it is not properly disposed of?" Captain Planet asked Saitama as he crossed his arms, showing how serious he was about this topic.

Responding with nothing but an apathetic shrug, Saitama made an attempt to walk around the blue-skinned man in order to get home.

Sighing, Captain Planet quickly went to the plastic bottle and dropped it into the recycling bin that was nearby. Then, he turned to his Planeteers to give them the rundown.

"I can't let someone so uncaring about our environment walk home without a lesson," He informed them with his fist clenched, "even if it has to get a bit dirty."

As Saitama walked closer and closer to his home, his thoughts were beginning to drift away from the strangely-dressed fellow who had stood in his way. However, his thoughts became all jumped up after he was tackled to the ground by that same person. 

"That oughta bring you back down to Earth," Captain Planet quipped, flying above the ground.

After wiping the dust off of his clothes, Saitama looked at this person hovering a few feet above him and realized he was not simply a weird person. No, he was actually some kind of mutated human that was trying to fight him, so he had to put forth his usual amount of effort to beat him. So, at that very moment, he took on his well-known persona of "One Punch Man."


Running forward with his fist clenched, One Punch Man expected to deliver one of his normal punches to Captain Planet's chest. Instead, he hit nothing but air. He turned his head and saw Captain Planet flying a few feet away from him with a smug expression.

"You'll need to be a bit faster to make your mark," Captain Planet joked as he flicked his wrist, causing vines to rapidly grow from the ground below One Punch Man and wrap around his legs. Captain Planet expected this to keep One Punch Man trapped. 

Of course, he was wrong; with a jump, One Punch Man was freed from the vines' grasp- as well as freed from Earth's gravity, as his jump was sending him farther up the atmosphere. 

"I don't want to get too far away from the Planeteers," Captain Planet announced to himself, "so I shall simply wait for this bald betrayer of the planet to come back down."

In about ten seconds, One Punch Man crash-landed a few miles from where Captain Planet was, leaving a massive crater where there was once a beautiful field. Despite that, One Punch Man was relatively unscathed- except for his clothes, which were almost completely burnt off. Before One Punch Man could start making his way to where Captain Planet was, he was already flying nearby.

"That was a nice leap," Captain Planet told One Punch Man as he summoned dark clouds far above their heads, "but you won't be able to simply skip away from this!"

Upon declaring that, it began pouring down snow at an exponential rate, and One Punch Man was soon buried up to his waist in the stuff. It didn't seem like such a problem at first, as he was able to run fast enough to turn the snow into steam in an instant, but the snow didn't show any signs of stopping.

"Sorry for giving you the cold shoulder," Captain Planet wisecracked as he formed a giant ball of snow and launched it directly at Saitama. 

In retaliation, One Punch Man jumped out of the large pile of snow that had been formed on him and punched Captain Planet right in the face before falling back to the ground. He was expecting the punch to end this match, but unfortunately, he wasn't that lucky.

Captain Planet was a bit surprised by the force of the blow, but he was still unscathed. He laughed a bit in triumph.

"You may pack a punch, but I can give you one that will blow you away," Captain Planet declared before he raised his arms and brought upon a powerful windstorm. 

One Punch Man didn't flinch in response to this windstorm; instead, he ran against the wind, jumped into the air, and attempted to land a second punch on Captain Planet. 

Unexpectedly, Captain Planet managed to grab Saitama's fist before it could make contact with his face. The force behind the punch pushed him back a bit, but he still managed to keep hold of his fist.

"You've been doing a good job so far," Captain Planet told Saitama smugly, "but I doubt you'll keep up with your luck."
Then, he proceeded to throw Saitama down toward the ground, which resulted in another crater.

Instead of landing on his back in a deceased state, Saitama quickly turned himself around so he could land on his two feet. It wouldn't have mattered how he landed, but he preferred to be standing up.

"Be prepared, because this battle is about to heat up!" Captain Planet announced in a corny way as he flicked his wrist, which somehow caused the ground beneath him to crack open and have magma/lava from within the Earth spew out at an exponential rate.

Standing motionless as the lava rained down onto him, One Punch Man considered what he could do to get the upper hand. He then had an idea, but it would only work if his current foe was willing to cooperate.

"Could we take our battle to an arena?" One Punch Man asked with little feeling, even though he was knee-deep in lava that was still shooting out of the ground.

"I don't see why not," Captain Planet replied as he magically sealed up the cracks left in the ground.

He was unsure of why his foe wanted to battle in an arena, but he didn't think it mattered where they fought since Captain Planet was sure that he would probably win.

Very quickly, they were both facing each other on both sides of a massive baseball stadium, because they couldn't find any gladiatorial arenas. While the Captain was taking all the metal in the stadium and forming a giant baseball bat to strike Saitama with humorously, Saitama had begun digging his hands into the ground to perform a special move.

Before the Captain could question this, the entire stadium was flipped into the air, and Captain Planet was brought along. Upon being brought so high in the air, he felt himself getting a little weaker, as he needed to be close to Earth to heal himself.

All Saitama had to do in order to stay with his opponent was to jump onto the stadium that he had flung far above the ground. Now that he had caught him off guard, he was going to get a bit more serious. He started by running toward Captain Planet, jumping above him, and delivering a downward punch to his head.

This had happened so fast, Captain Planet wasn't able to stop the attack, which led to him being punched through the still-soaring stadium and toward the ground far below him. With how long his fall would be, though, he had plenty of time to recover and think of a way to retaliate. The way he chose to retaliate was by changing the state of the stadium (all of it that hadn't been turned into a baseball bat) from solid to liquid, and then forming that liquid into a giant ball that he tried to keep Saitama in. 

Shrugging, Saitama did what he thought was the best thing to do in that situation- he swam out of the water ball, punched off of it (leading to it becoming destroyed) and launched himself toward Captain Planet. Then, he punched the air, causing a shockwave that spun Captain Planet around and sent him flying in the other direction. 

Acting fast, Captain Planet turned himself into a light particle, and he almost instantly reformed into his normal self right behind Saitama. There, he put the bald hero in a headlock before summoning wind around the both of them that formed into an F5 tornado. Then, Captain Planet let go of Saitama and began flying away. 

A minute later, One Punch Man landed on the ground after easily escaping that tornado. After escaping, he punched the tornado so that it would dissipate, but the damage was done; buildings destroyed, cars thrown hundreds of feet in different directions, and the body count was horrible. He knew he couldn't let someone who caused this many casualties to stay alive, so he began chasing after Captain Planet.

"...and then, I created a tornado to keep him busy as I made my escape," Captain Planet finished recapping to his Planeteers, who had been patiently waiting for their hero to return.

"Wow, Cap," Ma-Ti exclaimed, "you sure are brave!"

Captain Planet was quick to brush off the compliment, but before he could start preaching about nobility, One Punch Man ran into the park and left a trail of flames behind him.

"I will not let you end our battle by running away," One Punch Man told Captain Planet, "as the destruction you have caused is not forgivable."

Wheeler asked Captain Planet with concern, "Is he telling the truth about you causing destruction?"

Ignoring Wheeler, Captain Planet informed One Punch Man, "I wasn't just running away; in fact, I was in need of a break before I got serious."

A small smile appeared on One Punch Man's face before he replied, "That's funny, as I am about to get serious as well."

Suddenly, One Punch Man's expression changed from a simple blank look to an angry, threatening one with a shadow covering half of his face. This signified that he was actually going to get serious, and he proved how serious he was by jumping above Captain Planet and delivering a headbutt to his head, which cracked the ground beneath him and created a chasm that he fell into.

Although he was able to fly up from this chasm, the impact of Saitama's head against his was really aching. He looked forward to flying up to the surface and getting healed by the elements. What he hadn't looked forward to was over a dozen punches to the stomach that launched him right into a parked car's trunk, leaving a large dent and causing smoke to rise. He soon began coughing at the very close smell of pollution that was coming from that car's engine. 

"Do you have a smoke allergy or something?" One Punch Man asked Captain Planet, trying to figure out why Captain Planet was reacting so negatively to this car's engine. 

"No, but what I do have *cough* is an allergy to polluters like you!" He exclaimed as he began creating hundreds and hundreds of metal shards from the car nearby. which he began firing at Saitama at the speed of bullets. 

Quickly and very easily, One Punch Man zoomed from in front of Captain Planet to behind him before he could throw the first shard. Then, he grabbed his arm, bent down, and jumped.

When Captain Planet opened his eyes again, he realized that he had somehow been taken to the Moon, and he was feeling very weak. Immediately, he faced the Earth and used all his strength to fly back.

However, One Punch Man wouldn't let this happen, so he grabbed Captain Planet and slammed him into the Moon before taking a rock and throwing it at him with enough force to knock him out.

Soon, the Environmental Avenger faded away, and the Planeteers were notified that Captain Planet had been damaged enough to return to the rings.

In the same amount of time it took for One Punch Man to get to the moon, he jumped all the way back to Earth. This resulted in a massive crater being left where a garden once was, and all of the Planeteers were knocked unconscious due to the shockwave that Saitama created. As they were resting on the ground with some minor head trauma, One Punch Man snatched the rings off of their fingers, crushed them into dust, and threw that dust into space.


Nitri: Who knew that the guy known
for instant K.O.-ing his opponents would win?

bIzARRO: I did!

Nitri: Sarcasm.

bIzARRO: No thanks. Now, this battle was surprisingly close- Captain Planet had a wide arrange of powers that could surprise One Punch Man, and One Punch Man... was One Punch Man.

Nitri: However, Captain Planet has a weakness that could be exploited easily by someone of Saitama's level- he cannot leave Earth's atmosphere, as he gets his power from Earth.

bIzARRO: Sure, he could've tried punching him into space, but why wouldn't you want to grab your opponent and drag him to the moon at 1.27 times the speed of light?

Nitri: Yeah, we calculated how fast Saitama got from the Moon to the Earth 'in an instant' by deciding that he did it in one second. 

bIzARRO: It looks like Captain Planet went BANG, ZOOM- STRAIGHT TO THE MOON and was then hit RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

Nitri: ...


One Punch Man: THE WINNER

+ Power is unlimited

= Their respective abilities are even

- Inferior intelligence 

+ Speed 

Captain Planet: THE LOSER

- Power is limited to the Earth

= Their respective abilities are even

+ Superior intelligence 

- Speed 

Next time on DEATH BATTLE...


Some people are renowned for having incredible intelligence, allowing them to accomplish great things.

Others are not so fortunate. 

Now, two people from different lands- some dry, and some wet....

...will show how far a stupid person can go to win.

Goofpat by ProfessorSodaMan

Goofy vs. Patrick: The Battle of the Unintelligent
I hope this battle wasn't disappointing. I didn't want the battle to be 200 paragraphs of 'Captain Planet attacks, and One Punch Man counters. One Punch Man attacks, and Captain Planet counters', and I couldn't think of a way Captain Planet could come out on top.

I still need to fulfill a promise for a fetish-y story someone requested from me some time ago, so don't be too bothered when you see it in your notifications from me.
Add a Comment:
golork Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016
If you want to ask for a amazing Goofy bio here's a link to it…

As for the fight... well it was fun.
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Student Writer
thanks for the bio.
golork Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016
Heh your welcome but make sure you get Docterworm's permission first, after all it is HIS bio you want to use.
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Student Writer
I'm sure I've gotten permission to use it before, but I'll check.
golork Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016
Really? Well you shouldn't have any problems than.
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
OPM: Winner

+Power is unlimited

ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Student Writer
He hasn't been shown to have any limits.
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
In the manga, he has, and he has clearly shown to have difficulty when he is fighting casually.

You know, opening themes love to exaggerate character powers. OPM doesn't even do that. They even sing about how he will meet his match and be defeated one day. Besides, if he had infinite strength, any amount of energy in his attacks would destroy everything, which makes zero sense, and this wouldn't be a close fight like you claim.
ATKFOREVER Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly what I was thinking. 
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Well, it wouldn't be close at all if his power was truly infinite like PSM claims, that'd be a contradiction of his own words, so this has to be a mistake.
ATKFOREVER Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Right. Because if you watch OPM closely and study it like I do, you'll see that OPM power isn't infinite and even he has limits.

Plus, not every foe has died from one punch. Especially in the manga.
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
That reminds me... I should make a Saitama downplayed page on Joke Battles Wiki. After watching OPM again and seeing some manga feats, I think I know exactly how to make it.

Tier: Low 10-C

Attack Potency: Below Average Level (Can't even kill a mosquito)

Durability: ...I've got no jokes for this one. I was thinking about using that subterranean dream as one, saying his durability is building or something because he took significant damage from being punched through a wall.

Speed: Peak Human (Could run around cities at a relatively fast pace) with Below Average reaction time (Struggled to kill a mosquito with every effort he could muster)

Stamina: Fairly high (Could run around all of the major cities for hours until finally being out of breath at sunset)

No one would see a Saitama (Downplayed) page coming.
ATKFOREVER Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
The other thing is, Captain Planets only exploitable weakness is pollution. And last I checked, his power is much higher than people give him credit for. 
totalgymvssonic Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2016
Have him fight Broly. His power is maximum.
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
But M. Bison's Psycho Power knows no limits and Death Battle called it one of fiction's strongest abilities ever so they must be right and M. Bison's power must be at "knows no limits."…
totalgymvssonic Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2016
And yet Bison lost. :I
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah well they biased >:/
totalgymvssonic Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016
Merry Christmas.
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Submitted on
June 27, 2016
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