Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
Eve V Gir by ProfessorSodaMan

bIzARRO: Robots are known for their many missions; one of those missions is to find things that regular people are unable to find themselves, or are too cautious too.

Nitri: An example of a robot like this is EVE, the robot looking for life...

bIzARRO: And GIR, the robot with garbage for brains. I'm bIzARRO, and he's Nitri, and it's our job to see who would win a Death Battle.

Gir-1 by ProfessorSodaMan

Name: GIR

Full Title: Garbage Information Retrieval-unit

Age: Fourteen years, four months

Feats: Terrorized an entire neighborhood to get everyone's candy


Extremely hyperactive

Usually spouts nonsense, but has slight moments of clarity

Does not hate anyone (or anything): approaches everyone/thing in the world with boundless affection and enthusiasm

Nitri: With a brain consisting of pocket lint, a paperclip, a penny, and a marble, you probably wouldn't expect GIR to have many accomplishments.

bIzARRO: However, this is not true. Despite his questionable intelligence, he has shown some skill and at least above-average A.I. ZIM can probably be thanked for this, as I'm not sure if the Tallests cared if ZIM's SIR unit was defective or not.

Nitri: Let's quickly get to those skills.


 - Able to casually lift a police-car and throw it through a wall
 - Ripped a door off of its hinges
 - Has an advanced GPS system
  - Might be what helped him find where Zim was seconds after he was told to rescue him
 - Able to analyze living and nonliving beings for anything from race to intelligence
 - Has a seemingly endless amount of it, never getting tired
 - Is very good at blending in with humans
 - Feet-jets allow him to travel at great speeds
 - Got from their house to where Zim was seconds after Zim told him to get him
 - Head can fall off without him being damaged
 - Can self-destruct and come back later, just fine
 - Head exploded and then reappeared moments later



X-Ray Vision

 - Allow him to fly


Can put an endless amount of assorted items in his head
 - Can fire things out of his head as projectiles

Is very hard to predict

Can self-destruct

Can get what he wants by staring at someone long enough and intimidating them

Nitri: Yes, one of his best powers is his unpredictability. Plus, he can launch stuff from his head. 

bIzARRO: Yes, it is true! He once took a sombrero out of his head and put it on a cow; who would predict that?

Nitri: His Feet-Jets also give him incredible speed, allowing him to get from his house to Zim in a few seconds. His Advanced GPS System might help with that. 

bIzARRO: Along with those things, he also has a slight healing factor. He can have his head explode, and then it will reappear moments later. I wish I could do that.

Nitri: I don't think you want to have your head explode. 

bIzARRO: You only live once. 

Nitri: Anyway, speaking of his head: it can store an almost infinite amount of items, such as a large enough amount of rubber piggies to create a large pile. 

bIzaRRO: Now, let's go to his weaknesses, because he has em.


- Despite his robot advancements, he isn't that smart
- Is also a bit insane
- Can get distracted by silly things (like animals)
- Bad listener
- His love for everything might be a disadvantage in a real battle
- Might not work well without Zim to order him the whole way through

Nitri: It is a surprise that GIR is able to function at all without a brain, but despite how advanced he is, he is still a bit dumb.

bIzARRO: Not just dumb: INSANE. He can be seen laughing crazily about nothing throughout the whole series.

Nitri: Maybe he is just laughing about a joke he heard once. Speaking of which, GIR can sometimes be distracted by things such as: food, animals, pretty colors, shiny things.

bIzARRO: He also loves everything, which doesn't help you in a battle. And on the topic of help, he usually has ZIM's help when fighting, but since ZIM is not going to be here, GIR will have to improvise.

Nitri: While improvising is GIR's specialty, will be survive his battle against EVE?

EVE-icon by ProfessorSodaMan

Full Name: Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator

Age: Unknown

Aliases: EVE, Probe One

Feats: Rescuing WALL-E from danger

Saving the Earth by finding a plant

Personality: A bit hostile and short-tempered

Dedicated to her task 

Will do anything it takes to complete her goal (including the murder of a cockroach)

bIzARRO: In the distant future, humans have all left behind Earth- mostly because of how covered in trash it was.

Nitri: As the humans enjoyed their time on their cruiseships and being overweight, a robot was sent to Earth to search for life. this robot was known as... EVE.

Wall-E: Eeeeeeva!

Nitri: how'd he get in here?!

bIzARRO: The pod bay door was open.

Nitri: I have a hundred more questions now. WALL-E, buddy, we're in the middle of something. 

WALL-E: WALL-E help!

Nitri: Um, all we're doing is talking about EVE's-

WALL-E: Eva!

Nitri: ...EVE's weapons and skills... how can you help us with that?

WALL-E: *holds up soda* 

Nitri: O.O *grabs soda and runs*

bIzARRO: Yahoo, robots only! Onto Obi-Wan's skills!

WALL-E: Eva!


 - Capable of flying at high speeds to cross ground quickly
 - Goes fast enough to leave a blue blur behind her
 - Speeds through multiple hallways in a few seconds

 - Can fly in space as she would fly in Earth's atmosphere without any problems
 - Magnets do not cause much harm to her (but do trap her a bit)

 - Able to scan items to see what they are (and if they are lifeforms)
 - Able to fly through narrow hallways and turn sharp corners while going at a fast speed

 - Managed to fire a shot into a small hole that was above her


Quasar Ion Cannon 
 - Used to get rid of obstacles and enemies
 - Built into her right arm
 - Creates tiny blasts from upclose and mushroom clouds from far-away
 - Burnt a wrecked ship to the ground with a few shots
Morphable Fingers
 - Used for multiple purposes (such as typing)
 - Scans for life
 - Will find what something exactly is

bIzARRO: Yes, EVE sure is- wait, where's WALL-E?!

Nitri: He saw something shiny and ran after it. 

bIzARRO: I thought you were drinking soda!

Nitri: Oh, I finished it minutes ago.

bIzARRO: Okay... want to continue?

Nitri: Yeah.

bIzARRO: As I was saying, EVE sure is powerful, being able to destroy an entire wrecked boat with a few shots from her Quasar Ion Cannon. 

Nitri: Along with that, she goes at incredible speeds and can make sharp turns through narrow-ish hallways. And she's a pretty good aim, being able to make a shot at a small hole that's high above her. 

bIzARRO: She is a bit more intelligent than GIR; she's smart enough to be able to trick people by going into pod form, then going back out once whoever appeared has left.

Nitri: What a great bot. Now, onto the weaknesses.


- She has a bit of a short temper, choosing to shoot at anything annoying her
- No real battle experience, and was not built for it
- Might have trouble keeping up with GIR's hyperactivity

Nitri: One of her biggest weaknesses is how easy it is for her to fly off the handle. If she sees something that she thinks is a threat, she'll try to shoot it, even if it is a cockroach. And don't get her started on electromagnets.

bIzARRO: She also isn't made for battle, which might be a bit of a disadvantage. 

Nitri: Most importantly, she might not be able to keep up with GIR's insanity and hyperactivity, as she runs on a much saner train of robotic thought, and might not enjoy GIR's goofiness.

bIzARRO: While EVE might have no combat experience, she is an amazingly built robot. But can she keep up with the Garbage Information Retrieval-Unit? Find out next time on DEATH BATTLEEEEE!
Let me know if there's anything I missed in this prelude, it will help me with writing the acutal DEATH BATTLe. and also let me know who you think will win and why, it'll also help with the results. 
MaxFunnies2550 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So as I updated my ZIM bio I gained a bit of info on Gir. Only a bit though since I didn't focus as much on him.

He can pull out a random array of weapons and one of re weapons was a missile launcher
He survived being hit straight on by an airplane
And he survived being kicked right into the sun just like ZIM and Dib did.

These all happened in the comics and stuff so i thought you could add this to whatever Gir bio you may have
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2017  Student Writer
Thank you for the information! BTW I am aware that this isn't really my best battle.
maltron66 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015
Good idea. I expect an easy victory for EVE though.
Add a Comment:

:iconprofessorsodaman: More from ProfessorSodaMan

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
November 24, 2015


6 (who?)