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this summer by princessevahaven this summer by princessevahaven
:iconprincessevahaven:

this summer by princessevahaven

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/ ©2011-2019 princessevahaven
new facebook picture.

asfhlkjk don't know if i like this.
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:iconnishitokyogirl:
NishitokyoGirl Featured By Owner May 27, 2011  Student Writer
You're so Sweet! :heart:
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 27, 2011  Student Writer
thank you! :heart:
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:iconnishitokyogirl:
NishitokyoGirl Featured By Owner May 30, 2011  Student Writer
You're welcome!
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:icondefininghypocrisy:
DefiningHypocrisy Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
Aww you're so pretty! :hug:
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 12, 2011  Student Writer
well thank you, pretty lady. but i have to say, now that it's warm out, i completely envy your lovely hair and wish i could rock it.
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:icondefininghypocrisy:
DefiningHypocrisy Featured By Owner May 12, 2011
Aw,thanks. I like your hair, though. It's all long and pretty and straight! I'm actually thinking of growing my hair out again, though I'm not sure if it'd look good, since no one seems to remember me with not short hair.
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 15, 2011  Student Writer
pssh i adored your shoulderlength hair - it was really sweet on you. i think you have the kind of face where most hairstyles look good, actually... so go with what you think will work best for you! :heart:
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:icondefininghypocrisy:
DefiningHypocrisy Featured By Owner May 15, 2011
Aw, thank you! You're so sweet! :hug:
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:iconglitterydoom:
glitterydoom Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
you're very beautiful :)
and i like the composition of the photo too ^^
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 12, 2011  Student Writer
thank you kindly, dear! :heart:
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:iconglitterydoom:
glitterydoom Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
welcome lovely :heart:
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 15, 2011  Student Writer
:heart:!
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:iconthinkofme515:
ThinkOfMe515 Featured By Owner May 10, 2011
you're so beautiful :heart:
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 12, 2011  Student Writer
sweetie, you're too kind to me :heart:
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:iconthinkofme515:
ThinkOfMe515 Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
no im not
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 17, 2011  Student Writer
oh yes you are :heart:
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:iconscarred-lovers:
Scarred-Lovers Featured By Owner May 10, 2011  Student Artisan Crafter
What a cute picture! I love the freckles. c:
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 12, 2011  Student Writer
aw thanks :heart: i used to hate them, but i'm learning to love 'em since the sun brings them out of hiding.
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:iconmshanephoto:
mShanePhoto Featured By Owner May 10, 2011
love this
beautiful girl
great portrait
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:iconprincessevahaven:
princessevahaven Featured By Owner May 12, 2011  Student Writer
thank you; you're sweet!
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:iconprincessevahaven: More from princessevahaven

things i do not tell youmy mother says i am crazy
for the manic way i cling to your name,
twining my fingers through the knotted phone cord
instead of yours,
lithe and long.
i imagine you everywhere,
try to conjure some illusion of your
angel bones
to hold instead of
my own crooked body.
you ask my how i am feeling,
but i know enough not to sing you
every starry secret thought to shoot across my mind.
i'll have you know
i would rather strum my guitar and make you smile
than admit this is called 'in love'
or how i try to memorize each sliding curve,
every pixel of your yielding neck.
i would give myself to you,
if i didn't know better.
dinner with wolvestwo knocks on the door jar the quiet.  cloud of vanilla smoke dissipates.  soft burble of acoustic guitar sound shatters.
"dinnertime."
"i'm busy."
"come and eat."
"i'm not hungry."
"of course you're hungry."
my stomach whimpers, leonine growls proving her right.  toes on the cold hallway tiles, i flutter to the kitchen, whisper soft.  open the refrigerator door, bang on the cabinets, scanning nutrition labels lightning fast.  
"you have to eat."
"i will."
one soy burger (95) + two teaspoons ketchup (10) = 105.  
"that isn't enough."
"i'm not that hungry."
"of course you're hungry.  have some vegetables."
one cup of broccoli (50) + one tablespoon sesame dressing (15) = 65.
"you need some carbs."
"no, i don't."
"yes, you do.  find something."
one rice wafer =16.
"come and eat with me."
"i'm busy."
"too busy for your mother?"
i can taste the amusement in her teasing voice.  the words still needle my
perfect matchhe calls her skinnybones,
the banter of his vocal cords slipping
through the space between her thighs,
a whole world winking through those
hungry limbs.
she calls him lover,
even when he only tells her he loves her
after they've fucked,
the sweet smell of sex,
heady and thick as incense,
steaming the air between their lips,
coaxing the circle of thumb and forefinger
up the slim branch of her arm
and jokes that she needs to eat.
he tells her she's beautiful,
playing the words between her ribs
as if she were his grand piano,
even when she knows she is no beauty
and disgusts him with
evident bones,
straining against that pale winter skin.
she tells him it isn't his fault
when it is,
starving her stomach to a hammock
so that he might press his head against it,
a pillow for comfort or sleep.
they announce they were meant to be together,
proclaiming their love to the midsummer night,
while she wastes away to the moon and back
and he floats to the stars in a cloud of oblivion.
love of mine,i want you to know i am far from perfect.  me, i'm the sum of a million mistakes, some written on my rundown body, others on my healing heart.  you can trace the constellations of scars to grace these limbs and count every single time i've fucked up.  i tell you this not to scare you away, but in the hopes that you will love me for being so beautifully flawed.
i've told you my middle name is morgan, and i smoke like a chimney.  i'm trapped in the jaws of an eating disorder, and i'm adverse to wearing colors.  some days, i'm an insomniac, others i sleep for hours.  i turn into a raging head case if i'm not urged awake by a cup of black coffee.  i'm no ordinary girl; a little unusual.  but i've realized that you are the same.  i'm in love with your oddities, your needs, your secret thoughts.  i'm in love with you.
there isn't always a reason when i am unhappy.  please, bear with
brimmingclasped in your warmth & splay of limbs, i trace the topography of your skin smelling so faintly of sweet deoderant, hands coaxing down the ellipsed hips, the sharp pull of your spine, bend of your body contorted something like a comma about mine, black hole heart tugging me so relentlessly into the calm and crash of waves about this seabed.  these lips are pressed so gently to the dip & curve of neckskin, soft & smoothness marble slick, breathing a fluttering of wings over careful fingers, hushed and secretive, we, twining shadows, share this scrap of moonlight bright while my mouth sings yours lullabies that will echo through the caverns of your head long after we rip apart.  i think i might be dying, i tell you, breath so still & slowing, nodding away at the fluid lines of collarbones skimming from shoulder to shoulder, thoughts so deep & thick we are drowning, still hold you fast in the empty space of my fingers, placing your palms to pray against the notches of
mother.for the record, i tried two times.
i never said a word, emptying the poison shredding my stomach in silence, alone with my knees shaking against the cold porcelain tiles.  it was easier not to tell you, to paint a convincing smile on my face and steel my eyes with apathy, rather than to admit i was a failure in every sense of the word.
you taught me to be ashamed of the scratches and cuts that laddered my arms, shallow crevices at first, deepening wide as time passed.  summer came and my wardrobe consisted of sweaters, pullovers, anything long-sleeved to hide the destruction from the world.  you never asked why.
when you focused on my sister and the demons that plagued her, i matched this empty house with an empty stomach, taking advantage of your absence to lose those ten pounds.  ten turned to fifteen turned to twenty.  suddenly, i had collarbones and a dizzy, sickening sensation that i never seemed to shake.  you didn't not
disorderedthere are monsters sewn inside my skin, a paperthin nest for them to hatch and eat away my insides.  i let them devour me to the core, in gaping mouthfuls, sharp teeth digging away my flesh, pound by pound, spitting out just another wasted skeleton of a girl.  they have removed my shrieking, hungry brain and fogged it with a slurry of dizziness and shaking fingers and an ache that perpetuates from my bones, exhaustion no sleep can sate.  they are in my bloodstream, swimming through my dead girl veins, cutting trails through my slippery organs, dragging my slowed heart to a stuttering halt.  they have become
me.
noisy voices mutter, a constant babble of hate words and thoughts of not good enough, not perfect enough, not beautiful enough. never enough. a sharp press of blade to bone sends them skittering away, sly and wary insects that only crawl back to bite down no matter how much i cut and bleed and scab and cut and bleed and scab, over and over
screaming with my hearti am starving from all the places
your hands have touched,
hollow cavern of my stomach,
the swell of my lips,
sharp curve of my waist,
thick yearning to bear the weight of you,
bearing down on
           me.
the dis joint ed passing of time,
bothtooquick and  f a r  t o o  s l o w,
blood drunk and lusting with
liquid desire, waiting for
the glowing numb3rs of my clock to announce
i can have you in my arms,
where you belong.
wanting bleeds between our
waking bodies,
hot and electric,
conjoiningourpulses to one
breathless tempo,
headache rhythm threading through our
laced synapses.
i tell you what i'm feeling,
but only half the time.
what's on my mind is this:
this time, i need you to need me
a sliver of how i need you.
i want to hear you call me baby,
i want you sleeping near.
i just want you (here)
trembling thoughtsspill to me secrets
from your body to mine.
kiss me, pretty baby,
make me feel your love
go slow with me.
there are no doubts, no,
only our graceful forms,
a poetry of lines
a blur of raw (e)motion,
a serenade of silhouettes
with love, to the moon
(and back) again
i'll tell you that i love you
but never how much,
not how my aorta is exploding
with love for you,
not the way i cling to your name
and hold on tight,
no intention of
letting you go.
your lips on mine and i believe
in a thing like forever,
if only you'd believe me.
if only i could tell you.
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Submitted on
May 10, 2011
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