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Literature Text
I am deliriously happy
in my realistic wholesome dream
I lay in fields of poppies
and talk with the forget-me nots
Little Secrets whispered back and forth,
told me what your father did
and I giggled,
but was horrified inside by the thought...
but can you hold the tulip's hand
when she is feeling down?
Mother says it is too late
even for the sun.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
All stand for the precious rose
beauty in such silence.
Oh glorious rose,
teach me your poise,
vivid colors and such
You are of the utmost elegance
and I bow to you.
Green hand-like stems
so fragile run through my coarse hair
and I am filled with a nervous anticipation.
As the chrysanthemums sing
I am lost in their harmony,
swept away in baby's breath
and put to rest in a bed of ferns.
and now...
Here I lay
I watch
I guard
for hours upon hours
turned to days without end
But it is not these wings I want
If only I could live again
Eyelids closed
Engaged in strength
Nothingness
Sightless
Life into past tense
Ice cold, taste of dirt so dry
I can not breathe
yet I can taste the air
Blossoming from the earth
and drinking from a pool of rain
of which I share with the trees
I feel my soft petals
like a crown upon my head.
In my life time as a mortal
I was touched by a soul.
That of which is mine now,
My one solemn wish has been granted
I have been reborn
A rose
in my realistic wholesome dream
I lay in fields of poppies
and talk with the forget-me nots
Little Secrets whispered back and forth,
told me what your father did
and I giggled,
but was horrified inside by the thought...
but can you hold the tulip's hand
when she is feeling down?
Mother says it is too late
even for the sun.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
All stand for the precious rose
beauty in such silence.
Oh glorious rose,
teach me your poise,
vivid colors and such
You are of the utmost elegance
and I bow to you.
Green hand-like stems
so fragile run through my coarse hair
and I am filled with a nervous anticipation.
As the chrysanthemums sing
I am lost in their harmony,
swept away in baby's breath
and put to rest in a bed of ferns.
and now...
Here I lay
I watch
I guard
for hours upon hours
turned to days without end
But it is not these wings I want
If only I could live again
Eyelids closed
Engaged in strength
Nothingness
Sightless
Life into past tense
Ice cold, taste of dirt so dry
I can not breathe
yet I can taste the air
Blossoming from the earth
and drinking from a pool of rain
of which I share with the trees
I feel my soft petals
like a crown upon my head.
In my life time as a mortal
I was touched by a soul.
That of which is mine now,
My one solemn wish has been granted
I have been reborn
A rose
Literature
Further Apart
Our love was perfect But now we're drifting Further apart. I tried Being fair, being honest, Above all earnest and Genuine, yet in the End it wasn't enough? My dear what happened? Our ties were seamless But now they're tangled, Torn asunder, ...
Literature
Rain Symphony
diamonds on frosted glass
old man wind exhales
the flyscreen trembles
Literature
Mourning is Solitary
My grief is not yours to shareYours to preemptBecause you felt you had more right to him than IIn the endWe each lay claim to one heartOne sorrowAnd if comfort is communalMourning is solitary.
Featured in Groups
Reborn was a poem I wrote many years ago.
I yearn to know what you think of it. Please leave a comment or feedback. Good or bad, I would appreciate any opinions.
Could you see where I was going with this before reading the last stanza?
Did I give too much away? or not enough?
Is this total crap?
Is this a nice representation of a true rebirth?
Let me know!
Proudly Featured here:
I yearn to know what you think of it. Please leave a comment or feedback. Good or bad, I would appreciate any opinions.
Could you see where I was going with this before reading the last stanza?
Did I give too much away? or not enough?
Is this total crap?
Is this a nice representation of a true rebirth?
Let me know!
Proudly Featured here:
Pure Excellence (1)A feature showcasing some of the fantastic literature pieces I've read over the past week or two. The folder where these Deviations are located can be found on both my main page and this link here.
like catching supernovas in a plastic cup by counting-vertebraeA Photographic Dream by ReiReiSerenade
Snow in rain when coming back from fencing by AyeAye12For Science by saltwaterlungscualacino by SpiralingSpontaneityStill Still (YouTube Link Included) by BloodshotInk
Featured as DD:
to be a waste of grey matter with no self-esteem by counting-vertebraeFalling Into Starlight by C-A-Harland
Individual Deviant features:
counting-vertebrae
i am no god-made man by counting-vertebraeconfess, like there's blood pouring out your mouth by counting-vertebraei'm a paradigm of self-destruction by counting-vertebrae
therianlight
Writer's Block by therianlightGod by therianlightLust by therianlight
AyeAye12
Poetry Feature VIIIHello and welcome to my Poetry Feature VIII
Thank you all for viewing, hope you find a few to favorite on, comment on and maybe even a few new artists to watch.
Enjoy!
Poem - Friends by greensh
Poem - Different Birds by greensh
May 13th 2016 (Justice) by ShihSnTz
May 12th 2016 (PAIN and GUILT) by ShihSnTz
Comes Back Around by ShihSnTz
Honey by unicodragon
Restart by unicodragon
© 2010 - 2024 prettyflour
Comments32
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Overall
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Technique
Impact
It was a great poem. it had many metaphors that were perfectly vivid. it did describe the topic "REBIRTH", but at the same time tell a story with sadness, youth, and redemption. it like the formatting of it, especially where it went .
.
. (esc)
The over all flow was pretty good too. again, I absolutely LOVED the metaphors. they were brilliant. Diction and vocabulary was also very nice. Most writers on here (including myself) don't use strong enough words in their poetry. I rarely see someone go through and put in better, more sophisticated words in their writings before publishing it. it showed that you put a lot of effort and hard work into this piece, and it definitely paid off.