praedatorius

The next morning, Batman and Joker’s diapers were still dry, but both knew that could change with one feeding session. “No matter what,” Batman said. “We can’t allow ourselves to get stuffed any further. I thought that getting bigger would allow us to reach the door on the ceiling, but it’s clear that this nectar has mental effects that are beyond our control.” “There is one choice be can make, Bat-breath,” Joker said. “Both of us don’t have to get bigger for one of us to escape.” “You mean, one of us eats and grows?” “And the other sneaks out the window. You want to volunteer to stay behind? That’s fine with me.” “Wait a minute, Joker—“ “Oh come now, Bats. You think I would leave you behind with these two just to let you rot inside of this little kindergarten?” “Yes.” “Well, ordinarily you’d be right, but look at me: this time I’m serious.” The door opened. This time, Poison Ivy stepped through. “Hey there, girls,” she grinned. “Who’s hungry?” “We’re not eating anymore of your

“It’s good to finally be home, Father.” “Oh, Jasmine!” The Sultan hopped down from his throne and embraced her. “My wonderful little girl. How is Amazonia?” “As good as Amazonia can be. They keep trying to convince me to join them, so they keep pampering me and trying to entice me with things like ruling my own city or being a general or things like that. They could never convince me to leave you behind, Father.” “Oh, you’re just saying that. I bet that you had a wonderful time.” “I’m glad to be back.” “Well, I’m glad that you’re back too, dear. Aladdin will be happy as well.” “Where is he,” Jasmine glanced around the throne room. “I thought that he would welcome me home at the front gate.” “Oh, he’s just resting. The boy’s had the most trying time. The Queen of Merv stopped by—“ “The Queen of Merv! Father, you should have told me!” “Now, now, my dear. Aladdin and I took care of her without your help.” “Without my...where is he?” “He’s in his room, but I wouldn’t go in there if I were

The smell of flowers and potting soil, an above average heat, the night sky visible through panes of glass: Batman rolled onto his hands and knees in the middle of a greenhouse. He had no idea how he had gotten there, but he wasn’t alone. “Ugh, my head,” said a familiar, raspy voice. “Joker...” “Not so loud,” he moaned. “I feel like my brain just got hit by a bus.” “Small bus,” said another familiar voice. “Harley?” Joker shook his head. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over Gotham for you.” “That’s news to me. I kept telling you that I was at Ivy’s place, but I had to come and get you. Hey Batman!” “Harley Quinn,” Batman murmured. “Where’s Poison Ivy?” “Right here, Caped Crusader.” Poison Ivy emerged from behind a row of potted Amaryllis plants, her red hair and green skin blending in so perfectly that she seemed like one of them. “You’re looking for me?” “I don’t have time for your games,” Batman said. “Where’s the Pollen Bomb?” “Nowhere,” she said. “It was a fake.” “So

“Shouldn’t you be at tryouts?” “Just give me another mug of cider,” Lightning Dust said. “They’ll call me soon enough.” “There’s a good herd of pegasi up for the wing woman position. It’ll be a tight heat between them all,” the bartender said, uncorking the jug. He looked at Lightning Dust. “I never seen any pegasi compete from a barstool before.” Lightning Dust tapped her glass. The moment it was full, she knocked it back and sighed. “Don’t worry,” she grinned. “They won’t go anywhere without me.” And once Rainbow Dash is done embarrassing herself, they’ll beg me to come back to Wonderbolt Academy. The plan was simple. Rainbow Dash had gotten Lightning Dust kicked out of Wonderbolt Academy. She had embarrassed her stunt team in Ponyville. Now, as Rainbow Dash tried to cement her position in the Wonderbolts and become wing-pony, it was up to Lightning Dust’s to turn the tables. Everyone saw Rainbow Dash as a great flyer, but once she appeared at the tryout dressed in that skirt and

“Come on...come on...” Coo...coo... “Come on, stupid pigeon,” Pinkie whispered. “Come on, don’t be afraid.” Pinkie Pie gripped the ship’s mast with three legs while the fourth leg reached slowly for the brooding bird. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” Coo? “I just need you to take a message to my friend like a good birdie. Just...get closer to my hoof.” The pigeon stepped further away. “Darn it.” The pigeon stepped even further away. “No! I didn’t mean it!” Pinkie Pie cried. “How the heck does Fluttershy get animals to come closer? What does she do, sing to them?” Coo...coo... The water grew choppier. Pinkie had to hold onto the mast with four legs to keep from slipping. Still, she climbed higher, inching closer to the pigeon. Have to get it, no matter what! We’re so close to land!  They were pulling into port after four weeks—four long weeks of fending off Mudbriar’s advances. Pinkie Pie hadn’t gotten a moment of peace ever since she’d gotten on board. She was afraid that Mudbriar’s