AN APPEAL FROM A GRIEVING MOTHER!

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This plea comes directly from Joseph's mother...
If you are his friends and love him as you say you do, PLEASE, PLEASE, let me, his mother, keep my memory of my son Joseph in the way I would like to remember him as a sweet, kind, gentle, and talented young man who loved and respected his family, who wanted to teach art, who was passionate about art and loved to draw. Yes, he was Joe, Joseph, Josey etc., however you wish to call him or remember him, but to me he was so, so, very much more! He was my son, my life breath, my reason for being. I often asked myself, why am I here on this Earth? For what reason was "I" born? What contribution can I make to this world? After searching many years for that answer, I believe it was to bring Joesph into this world. Joseph was my contribution, my gift to you and ALL who loved him regardless of whatever name you choose to call him. I feel equally about his sister, who is also a very special human being, who now must walk the path of life without her sweet brother who LOVED him so, very dearly!! I knew about Joe drawing on Deviant Art and that he was selling some of his art as commissions to make some extra cash. However, I also know he DID NOT use his given name much in the same as others on this site have not. That is how HE wanted it. If he did share his given name to those on this site he considered his friends, those he felt comfortable with, those he "trusted," I ask you, beg you, please honor his privacy by NOT linking his given name to this site and or any others that may be started in his memory as stated in an earlier post by LORDDRAGONMASTER. Please...I give you "Porcelain Joe", and his art. It is my gift through him to you, but please leave me my son Joseph. I'm sure it's hard for you on this site to believe me when I say it was not my/our intention to erase "Porcelain Joe" and what he meant to you. However, Joseph's family and I have started a memorial art scholarship in Joseph's honor to aid fellow art students to achieve their art degree, something Joseph was not able to complete and now that too has been threatened as clearly pointed out in a post by LORDDRAGONMASTER. It was through this scholarship we had hoped Joseph would live on through others. Believe me when I say Porcelain Joe's art would have been left in tact, undisturbed, however, someone by the name of Laurence Parry from www.flayrah.com revealed Joseph's given name in an online article about his death and linked it to Porcelain Joe, Deviant Art and a few other sites. Why he felt he had the right to invade Joseph's privacy in that way, I will never know. I had tried to contact Laurence Parry and asked him to remove the article, or at least Joseph's given name, but received no response. Therefore, a close family friend offered to try to remove the more adult/mature content from this site thinking it would help. I'm so very sorry it hurt you and perhaps they went about it in the wrong way. It was merely a desperate attempt by a friend from a distraught mother who's only wish is to remember her Joseph the way Joseph wanted her to remember him. As you have probably gathered from previous posts, we as Joseph's family are wanting justice for Joseph's death. However, whether or not the person who killed him does any jail time is NOT UP TO US OR OUR ATTORNEY! It is up to the the District Attorney here in our county/state whether charges are filed. As told to us by the Chief of Police of our city, according to the laws in our state, Joe's death as it stands today, is only an accident resulting in a vehicular manslaughter which is a misdemeanor that does NOT carry a heavy penalty. Probably only resulting in a loss of his drivers license and maybe 6 mos jail time. You tell me? Is that justice for killing Joseph? What is a life worth? If however the investigation uncovers the driver was texting as they suspect, then it would be a felony, but even then it's up to the district attorney and what they feel they can prove. All I can really tell you at this point is I am hurting so very badly over ALL of this! Not only do I miss my son, to the point I cuddle up in his bed, have not washed his clothes so I can smell him, just in a vain effort to keep him close...Now I am not even allowed to remember and honor him in the way I would like and it pains me to no end! I'm so heart sick, I can not sleep at night. My sincere wish is that NONE of you will EVER have to experience a loss like this and also never to suffer the cruelty of what has been said about Joseph's family on this site. Truly, we are all devastated. Our lives will never be the same and for the rest of our lives we will be with out him...it truly is too much to bare!!
With all sincerely, Joseph's Mother - Joan
Published:
© 2012 - 2020 Porcelain-Joe
Comments52
anonymous's avatar
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Raygreens's avatar
I know he's your son and it's not really my place to to say, but I have to say if he posted all this stuff as Porcelain Joe, then he obviously wanted people to see it. I think that by taking all all stuff down that may be a little off color is more harmful than helpful. Even if it may not be a part of your son you didn't entirely approve of, it's still a part of your son and you should respect that. And I know you're worried that his internet life may affect him getting the justice he deserves, but I honestly doubt that this kind of alternate life would be brought up in a manslaughter case. From what I'm getting at this isn't for him, this is for you.

And I know what your going through, I just lost my mom recently before her time. For my childhood she was this perfect woman, but now I'm learning aspects of her that I not entirely proud of. Sure I can close my eyes and pretend it wasn't there, but these were parts of my mom's personality that she was proud of, and I know she wouldn't want me to try to erase that person from the minds of other people, just because I don't like it.
Bumsy's avatar
People have fetishes. People also die. I think you should just stop posting on this account and stop perpetuating this hysteria, because from the way I see it you're only going to

Yeah you're a mom and I cannot comprehend your loss, but going on this campaign to eliminate all evidence of your son's online habits isn't going to do you any favours. Very few people will Google him. Anyone who knew him IRL who Google him will probably overcome whatever reaction they have to what they see and then move on. I think you should do the same.

I give you my condolences.
Bumsy's avatar
Only going to make things worse*
theswweet's avatar
I know this is a bit late, and all... but you DO know, as the family, that Joe's more mature works weren't just confined to one site... right?

It kinda makes no sense, whatsoever, to remove the stuff in the first place. There ARE ways to see a screenshot of a website at an earlier date.

It's a bit chump for those that want to remember his art, because, well, we can only see thumbnails... but for anyone that wants to bring his integrity into question? It's still there. It's never gonna be truly gone.

From what I'm seeing, deviantart has his stuff in storage - if you go to anyone that had his mature stuff as a favorite, it says it's in storage - so why not just call DA up and get everything set back to normal? Or do it yourselves?

Look, I didn't know him that well - but censoring the web is a fools errand, and all you've accomplished is piss off, dissapoint, and overall humiliate his friends.

I understand you're grieving - and I know that you want his scholarship to succeed - but the way you went along with his work is just shameful.

I don't expect anything to change - but I had to say my piece. Rest in Peace, Joe.
theswweet's avatar
One last thing - Deleting his stuff probably just allows the lawyer to question his integrity more then if we still had the pictures. Think about it. Now the lawyer can say "They deleted his pics! Surely he had more to hide?" when they show the screencaps from times past.

I just... I just think you've made a big mistake, and I wish that it doesn't harm Joe's, or your, reputations...
Kahncub's avatar
Hi Joan,

As stated in a previous post, I am the friend Joe came to see down in Mountain View over this past year (the one who's birthday he attended back in August.) I read everything you said over. At first I was not sure what to think. A friend makes a desperate attempt to help by removing all of the mature/adult pictures from his gallery. A man named Laurence Parry (which by the way, fuck him for not respecting your wishes) outing his real identity with the identity he created separately from that. But I know how emotionally charged you are. There are a handful of people, myself included that I know that think about Joe every day and any reminder of him gives us an emotional sad charge. (ESPECIALLY since I didn't remove him from my GTalk friends list and now see him as Online/Away O.o so seeing that makes me a little uneasy, as I had almost forgotten I had him on there still and now I don't want to remove him.)

The feelings I have for Joe after all the time we spent together down in Mountain View...I feel your pain. I've managed to distract myself enough to not think on it too much but reminders like this everything comes flooding back to me. I can't do much from where I sit as I don't have a car (hence why Joe always had to come down here this year instead of me go up there) But if there's anything I can do to help you get through this, let me know. As his mother there's likely no one more hurt than you right now. Joe was like extended family to me. I want to try and help if I can.

As for the county ruling that the driver has only currently caused a misdemeanor, that's, fucking, bullshit! That enrages me to find that out. A fine and a few months in jail? There's no justice done. I really hope they can confirm that guy was texting and never let him out of prison.

You have my condolences, Joan. If you're the one that was logging into Joe's account on GTalk, look on the chat list for the name, Kahncub Farina. That's me. If I can offer any comfort at all, I will. Or hell, come down to Mountain View. I'll take you to the first place Joe and I went, Original Pancake House. Just trying to throw suggestions out to help you out at all. Let me know if I can do anything.

Joe's bay area friend,
-Kahncub-
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
Hi Kahncub,
This is Joe's sister, Cass. My mom asked me to check on here today since I had a bit of free time (my folks are going out of town to visit family). I'm a little uneasy about writing on here, but I felt your kind comment deserved a response. Thank you for offering to help us, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. I don't know if we'll have a chance to talk, but we'll see. If you, or anyone else out there is interested at all in how the criminal case plays out, I can keep you posted. For those of you unaware, the instances of accidents caused by texting and driving in our area has been increasing, leading to a few deaths apart from Joe's and no one seems to care. It's not in the news or anything, or if it is it's never given much attention. The pain that I feel and what you and Joe's other friends feel, I wouldn't wish on anyone, and if this case will help people wake up and realize they're endangering others by being so careless and maybe save other lives, so be it. Joe and I had a special bond. He used to always tell me, "I don't know what I'd do without my Mooch (his nickname for me). We're gonna hafta live on the same street forever." Now I don't know how I can even start to reorient my life again. I digress, though. I don't know what GTalk is, but there's a program that pops up when I start up Joe's computer. Maybe that's it? I go in there to turn on some noise on his computer. My room's next to his and it's weird, distressing even, to be in there and have it so quiet. It's to the point where I sleep in another room now if I want/need to get any sleep at all. I'm sorry if that program upset you or kinda weirded you out. I can stop doing it if you like. Maybe at some point I can figure it out and we can talk. Lastly, and I feel a bit awkward bringing it up but it has been mentioned before, if anyone wants to contribute to the scholarship, we do not have a paypal thingy right now. I don't know how it works and I don't want to mess with it yet until we get some other stuff squared away, like non-profit status so Uncle Sam will lay off it. That deadline is coming up quick. Anyway, if anyone wants to send snail mail we have a P.O. box. I don't know the address but it was listed in Joe's obituary. You could probably find it on the San Jose Mercury News website. If not, I'll figure it out and let you know. I gotta run though. Thanks for letting me ramble on. I hope it's not a complete mess of words.
-- Cass (The Mooch)
P.S. Be kind, people of DA. I'm not trying to hurt you, please don't hurt me.
Kahncub's avatar
Hi Cass,

Thanks for the reply. I sincerely appreciate it. Yes, please keep me up to date by the minute if you can with how the case goes. I very much want to know what happens. As for if we ever get a chance to talk, we can start the exact same way Joe and I did; online, if you wish. Otherwise, come on down to the bay area, we'll talk over the first place Joe & I went; Original Pancake House (you'll love their breakfast there <3)

GTalk, okay so I now understand you didn't know so let me explain. It's clear to me Joe left his computer to automatically sign himself into his GMail/Google Talk account. When you login it shows him as "Idle" on my chat list (even though I know he's not there.) I extend an offer to you to look through the list of contacts he has and find Kahncub Farina in the list. Click it, and I will likely respond faster than you can say latex (humor, sorry it was one of the things Joe and I very much were into ^^)

The scholarship...man, do I ever wish my bike did not get stolen. I just had to pay out $800 for new bike and accessories x.x Else I would try and find something to donate to it. What I did not mention was as Joe and I got to know each other better he was also teaching me helpful things about art. This was definitely the best quality about him. The more I drew and showed him what I was doing, he was EXTREMELY encouraging and proud, but he always had a way to show me how to make things better in a way I could understand. He was an art teacher before he was an art teacher, and I use what he taught me in my art now. So yeah, I want to at some point donate to the scholarship.

If you wanna email me directly I will put it in a Note to you. You and your mom can both feel free to email me. Thank you again, Mooch for this reply.

-Kahncub-
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
An so...My daughter and I were just talking today about all that has been said etc on this site about Joe, his art, us, etc and thought perhaps if we could somehow get the link I had talked about from flayrah.com removed, maybe we could put up a memorial page here for Joe, restore what we could of his art and along with that maybe do some good by calling attention to his needless death by someone's careless act of text/distracted driving in a vain effort to get the message out "not to text drive or drive distracted." But I have also received a comment about now this site is now about his death and not his life. So, can't win for trying! So as I sit here reading more and more hurtful, angry comments, now I'm thinking maybe as LORDDRAGONMASTER suggested, we just remove this site all together. And we probably shouldn't put up a memorial page honoring him with his art etc either, because I can see now that no matter what we do NO ONE will be happy and we'd probably not do it to your satisfaction anyway. We'd probably do it all wrong. You know the old saying, "you can please some of the people sometime"... We are really damned if we do and damned if we don't. So, I just don't know anymore. I'm so very torn.

LORDDRAGONMASTER has also pointed out that if we give an art scholarship to a student, they are bound to be curious about who Joseph was and what his art was all about. So, I'm thinking maybe due to the subject matter of his art here, they wouldn't understand, they would be ashamed and maybe wouldn't want any part of it. We did so want to keep Joseph's name and memory alive through his art scholarship. We thought maybe by helping another student or student's Joe could live on through them. But, maybe that is just my vain attempt to keep Joe alive somehow. I guess I'll have to re-think this also. This really breaks my heart!

To all of you who have at least attempted to understand my/our point of view, I THANK YOU! My thanks to all who have shown some compassion, respect and and understanding, I'm grateful!
However, this is so very painful for me, I can barely see this screen through my tears of grief and sorrow. I just don't think I can continue to try to connect with you, because I'm only hurting myself. I guess in a lame way, I felt somehow by talking and sharing my thought and feelings, I was somehow sharing my grief and pain about my loss with others he knew that felt the same and some how we could work this all out. I don't know why, cause I don't know you, you don't know me and what the hell!

In the beginning, the person who was trying to help me with all of this really suggested we shut down the account and end it. I too felt like it was erasing/deleting Joe's life, at least the 3 years he shared here with you. So, they tried then to remove the more questionable drawings and I understand how that all hurt you. Truth is as it stand now, you all are angry, and unhappy, and all the hateful, hurtful and angry things people have put up here are taring me apart, making me more sad and I can't do this anymore. It just hurts too, too much. There are days when I feel like I just don't want to be here on this earth anymore, but then I see my daughters face, her pain. I see my husbands face, his pain and then I think, I have to try to pull it together for them. But if I keep reading, and reading all this hurtful stuff, I will never heal. My family will never heal. And my heart will continue to be ripped open, over and over again and because I'm in such pain, it pains my family and I can't do that to them anymore either.

So there you have it. I opened my heart and put it on my sleeve for all of you to see. Now all I ask, is PLEASE, PLEASE, let us, Joe's family try to heal from this and let this all rest in peace. And should you put up any of Joe's art here or any place else, again PLEASE do not "link" it back to Joe's given name.

l wish you all a happy life, good-luck with your art and I wish you all great success with all you do.
His Mother - Joan
Lorddragonmaster's avatar
Joan,

I sincerely think it would be best if you would delete this account (do not just leave it the way it currently is). There really isn’t anything left here to salvage, and as it stands that account is just a reminder of the loss of Joe and the terrible impact is has had, and not a tribute to the many years and hundreds of hours Joe spent on this site.

Unfortunately there is no way to start a memorial page, with "not to text drive or drive distracted." Message while at the same time posting ALL of his original artwork that was removed. If you want to keep his DA and private life separate, that is going to have to stay separate, including the details of his death.

Again, I hope you do not give up on the scholarship. It is regardless of what an art student receiving the scholarship thinks or has a slim chance of discovering, as there is not a single soul who would give up the help that they would receive in Joe’s memory. If you do remove Joe’s DA account I hope you will forward us a link where money can be donated towards the scholarship directly.

I am sure it would have caused you, and all of us a lot less stress if joe’s account was just removed, as instead of you (or the previous poster) trying to argue with people, as it is just causing everyone more pain. I am afraid there is nothing you will find here but more misery. You need to close this down, and go heal, away from all of this.

Heal with your family, and remember that you don’t need to pull you’re self together for them, to stay strong for them and their pain. You need to grieve with them and your own pain. Remember that despite your terrible loss, you still have a family with you. Though it will never be the same, they are still there with you.

~Lord Dragon Master
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
This comment goes to - ROWANDOLL - Who after leaving his last hurtful comment has disabled receiving any further comments from me.

Wow, you are a very sad person. And I think you are more closed minded then anyone on here. How dare you even speak of what my life was with him. You will NEVER know the bond between a mother and son, and obviously you do not have one with your mother and for that, I feel sorry for you. Did he share every facet of his life with us, his family, or me, no and as you said he didn't with you either. But don't tell me I didn't know what his "wants and desires" were. You are not the one he turned to in the night because he couldn't sleep, you are not the one who held him at night because he was troubled. And you are not the one he ran to in his times of need. IT WAS ME, HIS MOTHER. I spent many sleepless nights fretting about Joseph and his life and troubles. And he did talk to me about them. I wish he had said more. But everyone is entitled to have thoughts they don't share with ANYONE!!!! So I didn't push him or try to invade what he wanted to keep private. Don't you dare lecture me about "wanting to take credit for the stuff you like best about Joe!" You no nothing about me and my family. What we do, who we are!!! As I have said before, I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT HE PUT UP HERE!!!! I do care about preserving his public persona and the cherished memories my family beyond the ones who live in my house have of him. HE WAS MY SON AND I LOVED HIM MORE THEN MY OWN LIFE!!! You sir, have much to learn about life, love and loss. I hope you will never have the later!
His Mother - Joan
Kadaku's avatar
I would like to comment if it's okay... I wasn't one of Joe's closest friends. Probably not his biggest admirer either; but I think he was great. He had great courage to draw the things he enjoyed most and I saw that aspect in his work. I've spent the day in part thinking about him while working and doing the day to day chores and I can admit I miss him too. I am sad that's he's gone and I'm sad that his images had to be tucked away; the words and titles and memories and comments are shuffled up or lost, to protect him in times he can no longer defend himself. (not sure if that's the best way to state it.)
I've read many of the last goodbyes and I've kept him and you (his family, and friends) somewhere in my thoughts.
I'm also sad reading many of these comments and thoughts. Among everyone wanting whats best for him there is some tension. There is Harsh words. And there is hard feelings. But this is natural when a beloved one dies. I don't think Joe would have wanted any of his friends and Family to be at odds over his artwork really.
For many of us this DA account is the last we have of Joe I know it's rough. There is still many of his pictures still floating around and I think the best we can do is save them somewhere. It's hard to look at some of his pictures and hard to look at some of our own arwork without remembering how he influenced us. Maybe in time we can build a memorial gallery somewhere. Perhaps. Perhaps not. I can't say for sure.
I would like to thank Joan for comming to us with this journal. I am most grateful to hear he's still being watched over and cared for. Am grateful too Joan has the stong will and courageous to come to any of us and share with us her feelings and thoughts too. I'm sorry that some people have chosen to put their fustrations soley on your shoulders. That there is some comments by some that are just mean spirited. I don't think Joe would approve comments like that directed at his family especially during times of mourning.

(I'm not the best writer; I hope and wish for you the best)
Sincerely,love, and with deepest condolences,
Kadz
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
I appreciate and respect your point of view and I thank you for your kind words and compassion. I wish I could muster up more energy to comment to you further. I think you said it well and it is again it is greatly appreciated!

I wish you well and good-luck in all your endeavors!!

Sincerely,
His Mother - Joan
Lorddragonmaster's avatar
"I give you "Porcelain Joe", and his art."
Yet you are not restoring the art you deleted...where do I go to get the art HE drew ME, now that you have purged his gallery?

"I also know he DID NOT use his given name much in the same as others on this site have not."
"Joseph did not want to use his given name on this account or he would have done so himself!!!"

He did use his real name. All the time. Please reference the following sample pictures take from Joe's gallery before it was purged:
[link]
[link]
[link]
Each one of these images is not signed Porcelain Joe, Josey, Joe, JP, they are signed with his real name. He chose to give away his identity.


"...we of course feel we need to shield her from this facet of Joseph's life"
At 89 is she actively on the internet? I am not sure how else she would learn about any more facets then she already has?

"Don't think for one minute the other driver's attorney has not researched who Joseph is!!!"
Then isnt trying to purge his art kind of meaningless now? Especially considering DA is 1 site of many that he posted his art and signed his real name? If the other lawyers already know then deleting it just means they are going to ask for it later...

"Believe me when I say Porcelain Joe's art would have been left in tact, undisturbed, however, someone by the name of Laurence Parry"
Again you're battle should have been with him, and not have someone jumping on to the one (of many) art sites where Joe posted. At the same time, you are asking the internet to forget. I wouldn't have known Joe's location except for the fact the newspaper posted it. I am afraid you will have a hard time getting every site that Joe posted on himself to erase anything "inappropriate". The previous user who purged Joe's account, even removed Joe's avatar of a cat. Clearly it was excessive.

"I do know however, that it will be misunderstood by many."
That is the real reason I am afraid. You fear others will not understand...

I don't fully understand this art/subject matter"
And that is why the gallery was purged. If he was drawing "tasteful nudes" I am sure it would still be here.

"I ask you, beg you, please honor his privacy by NOT linking his given name to this site and or any others that may be started in his memory..."
So we are welcome to re post his art, as long as we do not link it to his name correct? I can live with that, but of course would like clarification.

Despite what you maybe able to find or believe, I have already offered you my condolences on your facebook page. Though you may have to forgive that it might have been on an article or picture, I just posted the place everyone else was. I am afraid I do not use facebook regularly, but wanted to be sure to give you the little condolences I could. I still offer them, and have personally taken to reminding myself of my friend, anytime I reach for my phone while driving, and thinking of Joe. I hope it will be possible to make electronic donations (perhaps through paypal) towards the scholarship, as I am sure like myself, other will be more than happy to contribute. I can only assume by your original post "Yes, he was Joe, Joseph, Josey etc.," that you might have read my journal entry, and understood the feeling I had to express for Joe's passing. As well as the many many comments it received each honoring Joe's memory.

~LDM

P.S. If you took notice, Laurence Parry's site where Joe's real name was posted got 80 page views for the whole month of November, so not many visitors.

If you are still getting no where with Laurence Parry on his website perhaps you might try elsewhere:
Homepage
[link]
LiveJournal
[link]
deviantART account
[link]
Google+ profile
[link]
Twitter account
[link]
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
I'm going to try very hard not to be angry with you as you have been very harsh, angry and judgmental to us. So here it goes and I mean this with the best of intentions!

I'm not going to argue with you point for point, word for word with you as you have done with this last post. I don't have the energy or desire. This whole DA thing here has made me sick and tired and I'm already sick and tired over Joseph's death. Joseph's sister and I had a very tough day today dealing with Joseph's passing, some days are worse then others...Today was one of those days...Maybe the rain? Anyway, if you want to dissect every word I way, have at it!

I will tell you his grandmother does use the computer. Even thought she is 89, do not count her out as mentally deficient. Joseph's GREAT-GREAT-auntie was 96 when she died and was using a computer til the end. Although she spent the last month of her life in a nursing home, because her heart was giving way, her brain was sharp as a tack. She missed her home computer so much, Joseph being the loving, caring, GREAT-great-nephew he was, took the time to set her up with a lap top computer in the nursing home complete with internet, and locked it to the bed with a cable so it would not be taken. I wish Joseph was here to tell you some great family stories about her. He was always good at story telling! She was a spit fire! She surfed on her computer, painted her paintings and played poker (she loved that) right up to the end. Also, Joseph's GREAT-aunt (his grandmother's sister) who is 83 uses a computer. Joseph built it for her and would help her with it when she would point and click on something she shouldn't and mess it up LOL. She uses the internet and even has a facebook page. So, my point is, old dogs can a do learn new tricks and just because someone is old, don't think they don't live in the 21st century or at least try to.

As for restoring Joseph's site here, the accident is still under investigation. The police said "it will take months." So this isn't even close to going to trial yet. I don't know how it is in Canada, but the wheels of justice move very slowly here and we are very frustrated with it! So I'm sorry to say, it maybe a while. If there is something special you don't have and would like, maybe you can let us know via jpratt7787@gamil.com if you'd like, or through DA and tell us what it is and we'd be happy to try to send you a copy or do our best to get it to you. That's about all I can offer you at this time.

Oh, and lastly, yes it's true. I don't fully understand this art style and I'm perfectly honest about that. But that doesn't mean I don't agree with it or I want it banned or you all should burn in hell over it! I can kind of get the latex...I thought Halle Berry as the cat women was hot, OK, OK, don't laugh. I'm being honest here, so don't shoot me for it, but it is the bondage part I don't really get. I do get that it's NOT my thing and it is for others. That's OK with me. I do think most of the people in the mainstream will not or do not understand it and so for now, I'd like Joseph to have some privacy on that subject. As I have said and I will say it again, I don't have a problem with Joseph's art being on this site, because when you google his "given name" his "Porcelain Joe" DA art DID NOT COME UP! It was only when it was put up on flayrah using his given name that "linked" his given name to "Porcelain Joe" on deviant that was so upsetting. And yes, his stupid site too! He, Laurence Parry was not answering my emails/requests. So we took the only other course we could at the time.

Sorry, I don't understand the last part about this post the "Homepage link" stuff.

I accept your condolences and thank you. Maybe someday we can simply say we agree to disagree.
His Mother - Joan
Lorddragonmaster's avatar
I have been harsh, angry and judgmental against the individual who previously posted. They were an arrogant, inconsiderate individual, whose compassion for anything or any type of reasoning anyone had for why they were angry or upset about the hijacking of Joe's account was just seen as us all not being good friends of Joe. When some calls me out, you can be damn sure I will defend my opinion. That same person scolded every user for hiding behind a user name, when you're very wish is keep Joe's art account separate from his real life. Whoever was previously posting was a hypocrite. Any judgement towards Joe's family came from the limited information the previous poster provided, and their attitude that if we weren't all for removing all of Joe's work for a civil suit we were terrible people. Please forgive any judgement you felt was directed at you. You have experienced a grief I can not comprehend, and my passion for Joe makes me very defensive of anything that threatens my memory of him.

I'm not interested in dissecting every word, I was merely responding to the comments you posted in a variety of replies.

Thank you for the offer, If I think of anything in particular I will note you. So please confirm, you do intend to restore every single image to this gallery? I would be surprised if after this is all said and done legally, you would take the time to do that.

The homepage link stuff were links to every site that Laurence Parry has an account. The link under his deviantart is his DA home page. I was suggesting you attempt to contact him either here or maybe though his twitter.

Again, this [link] is his art account and it says he visited it just a few hours ago, perhaps post on there or note him.

Perhaps it would be better for you to close this account, as it seems strange that every comment or every fav that will come to it is not going to Joe, but his mother. Remove the account and remove the problem. What is left isn't worth any of us coming back to, as it only stands as a reminder of how much was purged.

~LDM
NeyoTiger's avatar
I totally understand the need to separate his professional life from his internet one.
That being said I'm trying to establish contact with the person who wrote the article and see if they will remove it. Hopefully they will be reasonable and understanding enough to edit the article to at least remove his real information. Just removing the name alone helps hopefully.

I also am deeply sorry for any extra heartache this deviant art fiasco has caused. And to whomever started this(prior journal, deletion person), I understand your heart was in the right place trying to help someone you knew.
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
Thank you NeyoTiger. I already tried to get Laurence Parry from Flayrah.com to remove the article or in the very least his name, but it fell upon deaf ears. Guess he felt he had the right to invade Joseph's privacy for the sake of his website. I do thank you for giving it a try though. It is greatly appreciated. Maybe you will have more luck and/or know how then I did!

And yes, the person who did step-in regarding the prior posts, did so with the best intention, as I am not too savvy with this stuff. Thank you for seeing that!
His Mother - Joan
Rowandoll's avatar
No more right than the newspaper had in posting the name of the accident victime. Which is the right of any piece of journalism. This is who he was. On public fora throughout the internet. With art signed by his real name. The fact that you choose to denigrate this part of his life and all the people that loved and cared for him who knew him in this life says a lot more about you, than it does about us.

I hope you get a lot of money from the lawsuit, and the person responsible never has a chance to make amends. Enjoy your new cause.
JillianNC's avatar
Joan, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family for your loss, and especially at this time of the year. I thank you for making it plain that you felt no shame from Joe's artwork, or it's subject matter. For many of us, we aren't so lucky to have such hopefully understanding parents. I also hope you will extend that understanding to those of us for whom that subject matter was and is a part of our lives, through no choice of our own.
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
JillianNC,
Thank you for your kind words and your understanding. It means so very much and you're right, especially at this time of year. Thanksgiving was very, very hard. We tried to "stumble through it," but it felt empty and pretty much meaningless. Really just going through the motions to try to keep the rest of the family going. Joseph's passing has been extremely hard for Joseph's grandmother. She just had her 89 birthday in Oct and we of course feel we need to shield her from this facet of Joseph's life. Since she is so near the end of her path in life, we feel there is no need for her to see or try to understand this part of his life. We want her to carry with her the sweet memories she had of her beautiful grandson she held so very dear, to the end of her path. I'm sure you will understand this as well.

I can say with all honestly I don't fully understand this art/subject matter, but I'm doing my best. Joseph's father and I have always tried to be as open and understanding with our children, because they are not only our children and we love them, but they are people too and entitled to their own thoughts, dreams, lives etc., however different from ours. That is how we raised them. To be open to things, and to always try to see other points of view. Because after all, we are all here on this earth together and we must find away to walk it together, otherwise there will be no peace for anyone.
Thanks again and I wish you PEACE!
His Mother - Joan
NeyoTiger's avatar
For those of you curious about flayrah.com~

Apparently Flayrah is a furry news site, if anyone found out who Joe was by finding this middle of nowhere site, they where already digging up pretty heavy stuff to begin with.
I wasn't even aware it existed till today. Its a pretty clunky looking site trying to

The article passed by so quickly, you don't even get a hit on it, I googled his real name just to see what actually popped up. This website that seemed to have started this all doesn't even show up in the first five pages of hits.

If it brings you any comfort, the only articles I found regarding it where very focused on who he was and nothing about his online account.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
I don't intend to sound so deadpan or detatched when I post, I just can't articulate how I feel about losing someone, and I don't pretend to comprehend the magnitude of how painful it is for his family.
Porcelain-Joe's avatar
Thank you for trying to understand our pain. Actually, when you google Joseph's first name,last name, city, and state (the news articles give his hometown) it's right there, plain as daylight. Complete with a photo of Laurence Parry of flayrah.com. I'm not real computer lit. Just a mom, and I found it myself quite easily. Wasn't even looking for it as I didn't know about it at the time. I was reading all the news articles listed right before the flayrah.com articles, mainly to view eye witness accounts of the accident trying to get a better understanding as to what happened, and BANG! There it was...Didn't even have to click on the site and Joseph's name was in "bold type" right under the listing! I was hit in the forehead with it complete with his caricature of himself. I was stunned. What an invasion! Joseph's family is quite familiar with this drawing as it was displayed at his memorial service here. As I had mentioned, I tried to contact Mr. Parry first and asked him out of respect for Joseph's privacy to please remove it or his full name and received no reply. So, try your search again and tell me it doesn't hit you right between the eyes. Of course if you google Joseph and last name, many, many, people with the same name pop up first. You should know the more info you enter into a google search such as, first, last, city and state, the easier it is to find someone or the info you want. Don't think for one minute the other driver's attorney has not researched who Joseph is!!! The police have been to my home asking about Joseph. The whole legal system is flawed, but it's the only one we have and now I'm faced to deal with it. Maybe you all out in cyber land would have more influence with Mr. Laurence Parry to remove the article. Pleas from Joe's mother made no difference.
His Mother - Joan
Redflare500's avatar
I think about him each and every day, I miss him so much. He was a brother, sister and mentor to me, my soul mate. In my oppinion his account should have been left alone though, to preserve the memory of the person everybody loved, I don't think anybody on this planet had the right to touch it after that day he went. But considering you did what you had to do to bring yourself some comfort, and that you'll atleast leave some of his original work online, then I suppose we can all be greatful. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, knowing how the pain of loosing a family member can be, and how my own mother would feel, and that you had to endure the shameful knee-jerk behaviour of some people online that didn't understand your pain that have caused you more distress Mrs Pratt.
anonymous's avatar
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