With the new year rolling around, this is certainly not the kind of news that one would want to hear, but I feel like it is time.
I am renouncing my status as a member of the WalfasStationWagon
henceforth. It has diminishingly little to do with the events that transpired recently, although it was those that made me seriously consider my worth as a member. In summary, I haven't made a Walfas thinf in months, nor can I bring myself to make one. I haven't been to the U-Haul in ages and I have found myself to care little about the Town Haul meetings - or, well, much in terms of events hosted by the Station Wagon in general.
The problem lies not with the group. It's all me. I simply don't feel like I belong anymore, and my loyalty - or, well, lack thereof - has been put to the test once too often. Furthermore, I feel like I've been doing nothing but rub people the wrong way lately or just do stupid things in general. I'm a hot-blooded person, far too quick to act and simply causing more harm than good. Events have also shaped me into a snide and bitter person that does not mince their words and regularly ends up hurting people's feelings in the process. This has happened far more often than I have the energy to apologize for, and while there are those of you who accept me for what I am and think I'm a good person, I really am a time bomb. It's just a matter of time before I inevitably lash out at and hurt you.
I don't want my personality to have any effect on the Station Wagon, and when the admins decided to spare me anyway, I took matters into my own hands and just brought about the inevitable. I know even this will upset many of you, and certainly there will be comments begging me to come back. But if it's any consolation, I will not vanish entirely. In fact, due to my recent inactivity in the group, I highly doubt much will change. I have those few friends I made and hold dear, I am still part of Team Gaijin Alex, and that is all I need. I also won't be deactivating this account anytime soon, as I'm still looking to grow as an artist.
As one last apology, please forgive me for this unfavorable news as my first journal of the new year. My choice certainly had nothing to do with the occasion, so me making up my mind about leaving the group and the new year are two events whose simultaneous occurrence is purely coincidental.