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About Deviant Senior Member Nicole26/Female/United States Group :iconrawem0tion: RawEm0tion
Straight From The Heart
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Deviant for 12 Years
Core Member 'til Hell freezes over
Statistics 1,309 Deviations 32,666 Comments 87,580 Pageviews

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Literature
Untitled 23
i was afraid i would lose him to the ocean
she had stories
she knew things and whispers and secrets
only i could wish for.
he was always curious
wanting to know all.
it was only a short while until
he told me loved me
but he also wanted to love the ocean
i waved him goodbye
and he chuckled
pulling me into the ocean with him.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 3 0
Literature
SW 101
As with all fictional characters
With all deities and half ones
You come for a purpose
to cause chaos
to fix something that isn't broken
to show a new path.
Then you leave.
But the question is,
when are you going to leave?
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 0 0
Literature
SW 100
Love
is not entering during the sad time
and bringing it up.
Love is,
being in the middle of a song
that's not finished,
and helping bring it to completion.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 2 1
Literature
Sun Wizard
You are a sun god,
posing as a wizard.
Here to help all who would accept it,
and to be that person
who puts a smile on everyone's face.
With all gods,
and wizards too.
The best should always be shared,
the greatest exclaimed in poetic stanzas,
to any who and all who would listen.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 2
Literature
Untitled 408
Here I thought,
this was the end all.
They say you settle down eventually,
that the fire burns out,
and you just stop.
But then again,
it's easy to start back up,
if you have  gasoline.
And you were the gasoline,
to my dying fire,
and I was ready to watch you,
burn others,
as long as you helped me burn.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 2 4
Literature
Untitled 409
It was you behind the window,
the cigarettes flakes were
always getting under my glasses
as I sat in the back seat
front window open.
I felt alive.
Sitting in that situation
the cold air burning my lips
my face
and it burned,
when we got background music
of some thing rhythmic
and I thought
this was how it felt to be real
And then I got on one knee
and you said no
because it wasn't for you.
You never felt the burning for me
the passion
that I felt for you.
But it was still there.
Even if you said no.
And I let it go...
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 1
Literature
Untitled
It has been five days or more
since have i have blessed my words upon this site
i have not capture or taken that it is mine
and i have sit here being left behind
i will be the girl that will kiss you and say
hey,
perhaps maybe
one day some day.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 2
Literature
Untitled 24
They talk about finding your forever
in a person that you love.
Some say it's a myth
some say it's true.
But I think I found my forever,
right here with you.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 2 2
Literature
Untitled 23
trying to live it up,
but at twenty three with a dead end job
with the inability to go any further
it's like it's the end of the line.
everyone's doing better
having their babies
moving on out with their significant other.
and here i am
twenty three
woe is me as I try not
spontaneously combust
under the pressure that is put on me.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 1
Literature
Untitled 204
I don't remember writing you a love poem,
and you my dear,
deserve hundreds upon hundreds.
You should be greeted every morning
with whispers and sighs of how I love you
and to the degree.
I suppose though,
that with those whispers and sighs
sounds of pleasure and that of laughter
I tell you how much I love you.
When I smile into your eyes
and willingly make myself open to you
I suppose that is showing love as well.
Kissing you with the lips that are trying
trying so desperately to learn a language you love.
As I say "Please," and "kiss me" over and over
until you teach me new words
to repeat and get hugs and smiles of happiness from you.
Regardless of how much I try and show you I love you
I feel that my words cannot suffice.
It'd take every romance novel and movie
every love song and then some more to show you the love I feel.
I've always disbelieved in the idea of soul mates.
But
when you think the same thing
agree too easily
again and again.
That's a soul mate.
Someone who is the sa
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 2 3
Literature
Untitled 23
I've written at least half a dozen
poems describing the little things.
Your keys and the way you walk.
Your hair and the way you drive.
The things we did
like cuddling real close
and being very cute.
But here's another,
because we aren't close right now.
You're sleeping in your bed made for one,
and I'm sleeping in a bed made for two.
So I'm writing a poem
to poke at loneliness and tell him to go away
he's not welcomed tonight.
And it's a poem to tell you
in words you'll never see
that it's been a long time
and nothings changed.
If the past years were erased
and I saw your face
I'd do the same thing.
I'd come up to you and say something.
I'd get your number I'd ask to see you again.
And maybe we'd still come the mutual agreement,
because that's what it was.
Maybe this time though
it'd be more of a forever thing
and loneliness would never be either of ours
bedfellow again.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 2 4
Literature
Untitled 21
Once I wrote poems about how I feel today
and that was a few years ago.
They were about how I missed your face
the feel of you next to me.
How I felt that we were good for each other
but we were never going to be together.
I wrote about how I missed you
and the little things you did.
I find myself relating to those poems.
You still put your keys hooked to your pocket.
Your wallet and phone,
they go in the same pocket they did three years ago.
The way you walk and the way you talk,
it hasn't changed much since then.
It had been a year and a half since I saw you last,
and it wasn't on good terms.
But the minute I was around you
I fell back in the same patterns
that I fell back into the last time.
I knew what not to do,
I remembered what you liked and didn't.
We still slept the same together
felt the same together.
We could sit in comfort,
and I could be around you and not feel awkward
or always wonder what my limitations were.
It was like we never broke up.
We've been together the whole
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 3
Literature
Untitled 20
I thought about it
how you would be if you had a child.
I could imagine me
being in a hospital bed
drenched with sweat from labor
and you holding our baby girl.
A child that we had worked to create.
You smiled,
your whole world would be wrapped around her;
taking care of her
creating the best world for her.
But that image quickly changed
because I know there's always the possibility
that it won't be how I pictured.
You'll end up with a girl,
a lady,
who's better than me in all the ways that I wish I could be.
But I still see you
in a hospital room
holding a baby in your arms and smiling
because that is the most precious thing to you.
And that's okay,
because it means you're happy with
someone that isn't me.
But you're happy,
and that's the best part of it all.
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 1
Literature
Untitled 19
Today I found a paper
I said I wanted to marry you,
a boy I barely knew.
It's been five years since then
and I've gone through three other boys
and I thought maybe
maybe I'd marry each one
with varying degrees of seriousness.
Now I'm here today,
no boy
or girl for that matter.
I see no plans to marry anyone.
I see no plans to even date anyone,
because when you think you found someone
well,
it can be exciting and thrilling.
But sometimes time changes that
and you didn't find the person that'd stay with you
for ever and ever,
but you did find someone that changed you,
and maybe that's all it's about;
constant changes.
I'm okay with this,
the whole looking back at how silly
we were
I was.
It reminds me that things do change
and maybe once again I'll feel that way.
Maybe I will find someone who truly is
"the love of my life,
the person I want to marry."
:iconPola-444:Pola-444
:iconpola-444:Pola-444 3 4
Winter Times 13 by Pola-444 Winter Times 13 :iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 4 Winter 2013 by Pola-444 Winter 2013 :iconpola-444:Pola-444 1 4

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Literature
What I wish I could hear......
My daughter,
       From the time you were born, you've always been there for me. I'm so sorry I couldn't stay with your father. He wanted to work it out but I was afraid of being happy and I just couldn't stop hearing my own mother's voice in my head telling me that he wasn't right for me. I wish I hadn't listened to her. I know it would have been easier on you if we'd stayed together. It would have given you a much better example to live by than the one Terry and I gave you.
       I'm sorry for toting you up to Washington before it was legal. I'm sorry for bringing you into such a chaotic home. You were such a sweet child and you didn't deserve the treatment you got from his girls or from him. I'm sorry his mother didn't treat you right. I'm sorry she died before she could get to know how great of a person you were. Are.
       I am so sorry for treating you like my best friend.
:iconMasqued-Mistress:Masqued-Mistress
:iconmasqued-mistress:Masqued-Mistress 4 27
Literature
Still Here
           I could smell the kitten's sickness the moment Rebecca brought it into the house, wrapped in an empty paper bag. I did my best to get it away from her, but she just yelled at me and shoved me away; she didn't understand. I even tried talking to her, but that didn't work either, of course. There's little a dog like me can say to a girl like her.
          I tried not to let her waste her time; the kitten was dying from the moment she brought it home. But my Becca just couldn't leave it wherever she found it; she's too stubborn for that.
          She fed it with a tiny bottle, and I tried to get on the couch with her to get her to put the kitten down, to let it die, but she wouldn't. She got mad at me. Me, her baby. I know I'm her baby because she tells me so all of the time.
        
:iconWytewulf:Wytewulf
:iconwytewulf:Wytewulf 3 11
Literature
all I want to hear
She looks me in the eye,
eyebrows raised.
I open my mouth, and words
stumblerushfall from it.
"You were right.
I, I stopped talking—
I did that stuff
because
I, I didn't,
I didn't want
to let you love me.
I
couldn't
deal with the difference between
what I felt and what I thought I should feel,
no,
what I thought I deserved
to feel.
What I mean is,
I listened.
To you, I mean.
I met
this girl.
And she's really
nice and pretty and
nice
and she,
she asked me out,
and I said yes.
I really like her.
She likes me too, I think.
I think
I mean it seems
It feels
it feels
right;
I feel okay.
About it, you know. Being
loved.
You were right."
:iconverticalness:verticalness
:iconverticalness:verticalness 2 12
Literature
If only you'd tell me...
There you are all curled up
In my bed like it's yours
I watch you for a moment thinking,
There was supposed to be no love,
No wish for you to be mine.
What happened to those promises?
Is it possible you don't remember?
Do I really care?
Today is just for us,
You planned it that way.
Though I know you won't admit it.
Thank you, my dear Ashy.
:iconEmberra555:Emberra555
:iconemberra555:Emberra555 10 15
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Mature content
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Journal
'Dreamscape' by Dreams-burst-forth
Dreamscape by :icondreams-burst-forth:
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With ultra-violet wisps of hair

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In the chilling winter air.

Her gaze was fixed on the passing lines
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But seemed to be stuck on you.
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This is obviously my collection of favorite things. =] I hope you browse through it and find somethings you enjoy as well

Critiques


I cannot really comment on technique really, because I don't know much about technique. However, this image captured my attention out o...


This has been sitting in my favorites for a while, and it struck my attention tonight. I find that re evaluating this makes me fall in ...


This is a stunning photo! The title is also quite amusing. The lighting in this piece is different from a lot of other duck/swan photos...

Groups

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Hi, I'm still Nicole.

I would love if you talked to me, left me comments, said hi. Thanks

Wishlist

Winter rhapsody by woxys Winter rhapsody :iconwoxys:woxys 2,811 250
Welp, another birthday on deviantart has passed. 12 years is a long time. That's almost half of my life at this point. What a terrifying thought. 
Anyways, I'm still here. I still check out #devart , and as you can tell, I still post random drunk poetry. I honestly think that my social media will accurately show my life to any who wanted to see. How, terrifying as well.. 

deviantID

Pola-444's Profile Picture
Pola-444
Nicole
United States
Rawr. If you're reading this, you should actually be in my gallery looking at all my awesome work. ;)

I've been on dA for eleven years now and it's constantly changing. It's always the place I come back to.



Current Residence: Knoxville, TN
deviantWEAR sizing preference: xx Large
Print preference: cute things
Favourite genre of music: alternative, rock, screamo, emo, electronica, techno, indie, punk, prog rock, doom metal
Favourite style of art: The eye catching kind,
Wallpaper of choice: whatever I like,
Personal Quote: This too shall pass
Interests

Is it finally Spring? 

67%
4 deviants said ... don't even
17%
1 deviant said YAS , flowers everywhere
17%
1 deviant said i have no seasons
0%
No deviants said It's winter....

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:iconinprotest:
inprotest Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2017  Professional
 
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Pola-444 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2017
:heart: 
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PrankStarz101 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2017  Student Digital Artist
HAPPY B-DAY!!!! :party:
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Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
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birthdays Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's December 4th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
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Pola-444 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2017
these are my favorite things!!! love you guys.
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LDFranklin Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2017   Photographer
:party: Happy Birthday! :cake: 
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JJJMadness Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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Happy birthday! Gift for You 
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