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PokeartKid

Bye.
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I'm in tears, right now. And I'm not trying to play this for drama, but I feel really, really bad.

Have you ever wanted something really bad, tried for ages to get it, tried your best, and made it your your dream and ambition. Hoped for the day it would someday be yours. The do one thing. One little thing, and lose it forever. And you didn't even know what that thing would do. But you just do it, take a chance, try to do something good for yourself and you can just regret it.

And you try to apologise, and you try to get it back. You try for just a chance, just a small chance. You try to be stong, dignified, stand up for something you want. And people ignore you, throw it in your face. Push you away and kick you back to where you started.

And you will never, ever get that thing. Never, because people don't listen. You do one silly thing, you try to take a step, try to be stronger, and you end up weaker than ever.

I don't have a friend in the world, not in the real life, not on dA, not anywhere. Ugh. Nobody I can open up to or talk to or just glomp on the shoulder of. I've lost them all, and I'm just to shy, to regretfully. Why should I bother lying, I'll always be like that. I'll always be a cowardly, shy, nervous... autistic weak.

DeviantART's always been a second home to me, I've always felt I could talk out here more than I could around people I know, a place where I could talk and never have to worry about being picked or or yelled at or bullied or rejected. I don't feel like that any more. I'm just as wrong on deviantART as I always have been.

Maybe I should write this, maybe I just feel to sad to thing right but... ugh.

I'm just so... I don't know how to put it. It's a cross between feeling stupid, like you're done something you can't reverse, gullible, I let me y feeling run ove rme, I...

I just... ugh.

I've enever felt so bad in my life. Just when I finally stong enough to do something I lose it forever. And I will never. Ever get thign thaing I wanted. Ever.

And... I'll probably leave DeviantART for a while... I just, don't feel like. At all.
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PokeartKid's avatar

Leaving dA

18 min read
:thumb245261711: I support Static emoticons by mintyy Emoticonists Support Stamp by Phlum
Pride by xXDarkOneXx
Pixel Artist Stampie by Sophibelle
loli divider by GRAMMAR
-Minecraft- Dr. Wood Puncher by NorthboundFox Ceiling Creeper Stamp by HybridAir :thumb209684956:
Rainbow Dash Stamp 2 by Kevfin Friendship IS Magic by Mistralla MLP: Rainbow Dash stamp by Janbearpig
10,000 Pageview Prize by WarriorCatsFanClub Warriors Stamp by Superior-Silverfox Spottedleaf Stamp by VampsStock
Pokemon by Toxic-Fox-Girl Pokemon by Daakukitsune Pokemon Fan by AssClownFish
:thumb211708992: The Sims Loading by ClefairyKid The Sims 3 Stamp by snwgames
loli divider by GRAMMAR
:thumb201492119:
:thumb199765487: :thumb195095319: :thumb195475146:
:thumb199924796: :thumb209299247: :thumb195071564:
:thumb194966475: :thumb194961551:
I love skunks. by Valotoxin I love Okapis by WishmasterAlchemist I love Otters by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Silver Foxes by WishmasterAlchemist wolf by ManicStamps I love Maned Wolves by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Bobcats by WishmasterAlchemist I love Ocelots by WishmasterAlchemist Snow leopard stamp by Tollerka
:thumb169427790: Ferret love by Animal-Stamp I love Ferrets by WishmasterAlchemist
I Believe in Thylacines by Rhabwar-Troll-stock thylacine stamp by x-nauts Thylacine Stamp by WildSpiritWolf
:thumb156988248: stamp :: cat lover by octobre-rouge Cat lover stamp by xXAli-StarXx
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Stamp - Lazy by DragoN-FX The Scanner Killed my Drawing by Dragon-of-Midnight
:thumb190377636: Random Crap by AssClownFish
Never ending by Moonlight-pendent13 Patterns by YourOwnArt Writer stamp by WhiteKimahri
Artist block by Nana-Beats Anthro Art Stamp 2 by Aazari-Resources
:thumb253153501: No Matter What by Blubble-The-Blubs
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Sarcasm by DreamingSneakily Subliminal Stamp by Drake1 'Nothing is impossible'. by converse-kidd-stamps
Clouds Puke Rainbows by RuthlessDreams Doctor, i puke rainbowz c: by SupremeSonrio STAMP: TV Tropes by Emotikonz
Nyan Cat Stamp by Kevfin Nyan Cat Stamp by kyra10987 Nya--AHHHH by Blubble-The-Blubs
Simons Cat _Fly PWNED_ Stamp by EmeraldAngelStudio Ceiling Cat Stamp by AlkseeyaKC OMG Cat Stamp by TrippFoxx
:thumb209268729: Transparency Fail 2 by impersonalinfo White Chocolate Stamp by Vhazza
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Too Many Stamps? by cfryant


...

Yeah.

No reason in paticular, but a number of things, mostly personal things, which I won't talk about.

But soon, I'm going to make a very important decicison, a decicision that could protentially change the rest of my life.

Before that, I'm going to make an exqually important decision, I will no long post any pixel art on dA, no emoticons or sprites are anything. Why? Because I don't enjoy it any more.

When I was younger, nothing pleased me more than scribbling away at paint, wether it was working pictures for my stories are putting together little ducks, the experimentation was so unique, so much fun. The excitement of choosing where to put pixels, and seeing if they worked, would compare to nothing. When I came to dA, and made emoticons and sprites, I felt that excitment.

It began to fade, I just didn't enjoy it. And... I'm not really sure what to do.

Someday I'd like to make sprites for games and stuff, but it's not like it used to be. It's surrounded by logic and anatomy, and shading. Choosing which colours go well together, and becoming more picky about outlines.

Hm.

I'm not leaving dA, but I MAY be leaving this account. Just leaving it. I made an alt account a while ago, and to be honest, I prefer it there.

So... thanks I guess. I've spent about two years as an emoticonist, and I loved it, everyone seemed so supportive and I've earned myself two daily devenations.

But I can't keep doing what I no longer enjoy.

I'm going to my alt account. Learn about cartoonists and become well known.

Then I will earn my riches.

...

So... thanks. And bye. I may come back, but I've been trying to write this journal for a week and a half...

PS. If I'm in your group or something then feel free to remove me. I'm going to stay in most of my groups, in case I come back, but if you only want active members, then... go ahead.

PPS. I may still contact you on my new account of you owe me a picture. In addition, if there's anything in my gallery you want me to bring out of storage, then just ask.

PPPS. I'm not giving out my new username.


Kid Out

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PokeartKid's avatar

Distractions

17 min read
:thumb245261711: I support Static emoticons by mintyy Emoticonists Support Stamp by Phlum
Pride by xXDarkOneXx
Pixel Artist Stampie by Sophibelle
loli divider by GRAMMAR
-Minecraft- Dr. Wood Puncher by NorthboundFox Ceiling Creeper Stamp by HybridAir :thumb209684956:
Rainbow Dash Stamp 2 by Kevfin Friendship IS Magic by Mistralla MLP: Rainbow Dash stamp by Janbearpig
10,000 Pageview Prize by WarriorCatsFanClub Warriors Stamp by Superior-Silverfox Spottedleaf Stamp by VampsStock
Pokemon by Toxic-Fox-Girl Pokemon by Daakukitsune Pokemon Fan by AssClownFish
:thumb211708992: The Sims Loading by ClefairyKid The Sims 3 Stamp by snwgames
loli divider by GRAMMAR
:thumb201492119:
:thumb199765487: :thumb195095319: :thumb195475146:
:thumb199924796: :thumb209299247: :thumb195071564:
:thumb194966475: :thumb194961551:
I love skunks. by Valotoxin I love Okapis by WishmasterAlchemist I love Otters by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Silver Foxes by WishmasterAlchemist wolf by ManicStamps I love Maned Wolves by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Bobcats by WishmasterAlchemist I love Ocelots by WishmasterAlchemist Snow leopard stamp by Tollerka
:thumb169427790: Ferret love by Animal-Stamp I love Ferrets by WishmasterAlchemist
I Believe in Thylacines by Rhabwar-Troll-stock thylacine stamp by x-nauts Thylacine Stamp by WildSpiritWolf
:thumb156988248: stamp :: cat lover by octobre-rouge Cat lover stamp by xXAli-StarXx
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Stamp - Lazy by DragoN-FX The Scanner Killed my Drawing by Dragon-of-Midnight
:thumb190377636: Random Crap by AssClownFish
Never ending by Moonlight-pendent13 Patterns by YourOwnArt Writer stamp by WhiteKimahri
Artist block by Nana-Beats Anthro Art Stamp 2 by Aazari-Resources
:thumb253153501: No Matter What by Blubble-The-Blubs
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Sarcasm by DreamingSneakily Subliminal Stamp by Drake1 'Nothing is impossible'. by converse-kidd-stamps
Clouds Puke Rainbows by RuthlessDreams Doctor, i puke rainbowz c: by SupremeSonrio STAMP: TV Tropes by Emotikonz
Nyan Cat Stamp by Kevfin Nyan Cat Stamp by kyra10987 Nya--AHHHH by Blubble-The-Blubs
Simons Cat _Fly PWNED_ Stamp by EmeraldAngelStudio Ceiling Cat Stamp by AlkseeyaKC OMG Cat Stamp by TrippFoxx
:thumb209268729: Transparency Fail 2 by impersonalinfo White Chocolate Stamp by Vhazza
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Too Many Stamps? by cfryant


I got my 3DS about... six days ago. I've been playing it on and off for the past week or so, taking breaks partly because I can't play anything for more than an hour, partly because I can't play at all... I've not got any games for it.
I've been working on secret project 368 and new Psychic Ferret comics, and little else. So I'd like to declare a Hiatus until I can get back to... stuff. I won't be online much, but rather on an alternate account. How long, who knows.

My internet is also very, horribly bad. So I wouldn't be online much anyway...

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PokeartKid's avatar
:thumb245261711: I support Static emoticons by mintyy Emoticonists Support Stamp by Phlum
Pride by xXDarkOneXx
Pixel Artist Stampie by Sophibelle
loli divider by GRAMMAR
-Minecraft- Dr. Wood Puncher by NorthboundFox Ceiling Creeper Stamp by HybridAir :thumb209684956:
Rainbow Dash Stamp 2 by Kevfin Friendship IS Magic by Mistralla MLP: Rainbow Dash stamp by Janbearpig
10,000 Pageview Prize by WarriorCatsFanClub Warriors Stamp by Superior-Silverfox Spottedleaf Stamp by VampsStock
Pokemon by Toxic-Fox-Girl Pokemon by Daakukitsune Pokemon Fan by AssClownFish
:thumb211708992: The Sims Loading by ClefairyKid The Sims 3 Stamp by snwgames
loli divider by GRAMMAR
:thumb201492119:
:thumb199765487: :thumb195095319: :thumb195475146:
:thumb199924796: :thumb209299247: :thumb195071564:
:thumb194966475: :thumb194961551:
I love skunks. by Valotoxin I love Okapis by WishmasterAlchemist I love Otters by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Silver Foxes by WishmasterAlchemist wolf by ManicStamps I love Maned Wolves by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Bobcats by WishmasterAlchemist I love Ocelots by WishmasterAlchemist Snow leopard stamp by Tollerka
:thumb169427790: Ferret love by Animal-Stamp I love Ferrets by WishmasterAlchemist
I Believe in Thylacines by Rhabwar-Troll-stock thylacine stamp by x-nauts Thylacine Stamp by WildSpiritWolf
:thumb156988248: stamp :: cat lover by octobre-rouge Cat lover stamp by xXAli-StarXx
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Stamp - Lazy by DragoN-FX The Scanner Killed my Drawing by Dragon-of-Midnight
:thumb190377636: Random Crap by AssClownFish
Never ending by Moonlight-pendent13 Patterns by YourOwnArt Writer stamp by WhiteKimahri
Artist block by Nana-Beats Anthro Art Stamp 2 by Aazari-Resources
:thumb253153501: No Matter What by Blubble-The-Blubs
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Sarcasm by DreamingSneakily Subliminal Stamp by Drake1 'Nothing is impossible'. by converse-kidd-stamps
Clouds Puke Rainbows by RuthlessDreams Doctor, i puke rainbowz c: by SupremeSonrio STAMP: TV Tropes by Emotikonz
Nyan Cat Stamp by Kevfin Nyan Cat Stamp by kyra10987 Nya--AHHHH by Blubble-The-Blubs
Simons Cat _Fly PWNED_ Stamp by EmeraldAngelStudio Ceiling Cat Stamp by AlkseeyaKC OMG Cat Stamp by TrippFoxx
:thumb209268729: Transparency Fail 2 by impersonalinfo White Chocolate Stamp by Vhazza
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Too Many Stamps? by cfryant


Tuesday, I got my finger caught in the door. It hurt, my skin was sliced and blood was pretty much pouring out, and I think I got a pretty big bruise around it too. There was a finger-shaped hole in the doorframe too.
It was my right index finger.
Yeah, that one. The one you need to hold the pen while you draw. unless you're left handed, but let's pass that one.
It's a bit better, I just took off the plaster and it looks... able to be looked at. I should be able to write a little, I just need a new plaster.

Ahem.

Anyway, the first Psychic Ferret comic yesterday. (Check it out: pf.savagewolf.org/ ). I'm still trying to do a few more things for the website, since I'm now submitting it to stuff like wecomic rankings I need to add an icon.

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PokeartKid's avatar

Updates

19 min read
:thumb245261711: I support Static emoticons by mintyy Emoticonists Support Stamp by Phlum
Pride by xXDarkOneXx
Pixel Artist Stampie by Sophibelle
loli divider by GRAMMAR
-Minecraft- Dr. Wood Puncher by NorthboundFox Ceiling Creeper Stamp by HybridAir :thumb209684956:
Rainbow Dash Stamp 2 by Kevfin Friendship IS Magic by Mistralla MLP: Rainbow Dash stamp by Janbearpig
10,000 Pageview Prize by WarriorCatsFanClub Warriors Stamp by Superior-Silverfox Spottedleaf Stamp by VampsStock
Pokemon by Toxic-Fox-Girl Pokemon by Daakukitsune Pokemon Fan by AssClownFish
:thumb211708992: The Sims Loading by ClefairyKid The Sims 3 Stamp by snwgames
loli divider by GRAMMAR
:thumb201492119:
:thumb199765487: :thumb195095319: :thumb195475146:
:thumb199924796: :thumb209299247: :thumb195071564:
:thumb194966475: :thumb194961551:
I love skunks. by Valotoxin I love Okapis by WishmasterAlchemist I love Otters by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Silver Foxes by WishmasterAlchemist wolf by ManicStamps I love Maned Wolves by WishmasterAlchemist
I love Bobcats by WishmasterAlchemist I love Ocelots by WishmasterAlchemist Snow leopard stamp by Tollerka
:thumb169427790: Ferret love by Animal-Stamp I love Ferrets by WishmasterAlchemist
I Believe in Thylacines by Rhabwar-Troll-stock thylacine stamp by x-nauts Thylacine Stamp by WildSpiritWolf
:thumb156988248: stamp :: cat lover by octobre-rouge Cat lover stamp by xXAli-StarXx
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Stamp - Lazy by DragoN-FX The Scanner Killed my Drawing by Dragon-of-Midnight
:thumb190377636: Random Crap by AssClownFish
Never ending by Moonlight-pendent13 Patterns by YourOwnArt Writer stamp by WhiteKimahri
Artist block by Nana-Beats Anthro Art Stamp 2 by Aazari-Resources
:thumb253153501: No Matter What by Blubble-The-Blubs
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Sarcasm by DreamingSneakily Subliminal Stamp by Drake1 'Nothing is impossible'. by converse-kidd-stamps
Clouds Puke Rainbows by RuthlessDreams Doctor, i puke rainbowz c: by SupremeSonrio STAMP: TV Tropes by Emotikonz
Nyan Cat Stamp by Kevfin Nyan Cat Stamp by kyra10987 Nya--AHHHH by Blubble-The-Blubs
Simons Cat _Fly PWNED_ Stamp by EmeraldAngelStudio Ceiling Cat Stamp by AlkseeyaKC OMG Cat Stamp by TrippFoxx
:thumb209268729: Transparency Fail 2 by impersonalinfo White Chocolate Stamp by Vhazza
loli divider by GRAMMAR
Too Many Stamps? by cfryant


Not written much in a while. I've not been on dA much, been more interested in playing Pokemon White. I beat it the other day too, it felt so good kicking the elite four's ass (well. Not as much 'kicking ass' as 'struggling professionally' but it felt the same). My favourite moment was when I remembered Liepard would get STAB when I was faced with using two moves exactly the same, both super-effective, one dark-type.

I've been working on a private project, on an alt account. While anyone's free to get all stalker-y and try and find it (though I doubt you would) I won't be giving away what this alt is or what it's called, at least not for a long time. Basically, it gives me some more characters to doodle in class.

Oh, and on the subject of doodling, that reminds me, the first strip of the new Psychic Ferret will be out on Wednesday, I can't wait myself, mostly to see if the website will fall apart when a comic comes up. I'll try and give a reminder nearer the time.

The past two weeks were kinda unusual. I decided I want a 3DS now, because my brother told me the next pokemon games will probably be out on 3DS and I'll be dammed if I have to wait not only for remakes of Ruby and Sapphire, but to get enough money for a 3DS. Also, other games. Yeah, other games would be important.
Actually, I don't even care about the 3D part. I just want other games.
The problem is, it's 120 freaking pounds. 120 pounds I want to get before the end of febuary, or at least before my birthday. I've got... about 55 pounds the now. 20 pounds from my christmas and the rest as a combination of pocket money and money from random chores. I spend most of yesterday trying to work out a 'get rich quick' scheme of how I could get £70 in as soon as possible. My initial plan was to try doing stickers, but deviantART doesn't let you make stickers (it should though, i mean, you can get big fancy canvases, why can't you just get a sheet of printed stickers). I looked at cafepress, by the looks of it it's just like DeviantART, but it seems a tad fancy for a 13-year-old.

So back to square one.

I could try comissions, but I'm barely able to do them for points, let alone money.
However, this thing came up. we have to make a logo for this scottish food thing, and the second place prize is £100 (the first place is £300, but i only need £100). I'm making a few entries, I don't have much hope but as far as art is concerned I'm not a loser. So wish me luck!

And... that's it I suppose. Nothing interesting in my life. Nopey-dopey-doo.

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