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About Deviant Not a real artist. Just really human.Female/Netherlands Recent Activity
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Depression is a crazy ex.
depression is a crazy ex
who has had their claws
embedded into you for so long
you don't always feel it.
depression is a crazy ex
stating that 'if they have to go,
they're taking everything with them'.
so you lose your favourite things
you lose your talent
and some nights you lose the will
to keep calm and carry on.
depression is a crazy ex
screaming at you with boozy breath
when you are out
having fun and moving on.
depression is a crazy ex
standing under a lamppost
while you are walking through
the isles of a grocery store at night.
depression is a crazy ex
silent for years
until they send a text message
or give you a call.
depression is a crazy ex
who likes to keep their talons
just in case
you ever get back together.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 6 6
I think the camera is flashing.
she said she'd wait for me
as she shut the door
with me standing in the doorway.
my hello's sound like questions.
in a dark room you can't see
where you're going
or if you're moving at all.
she said she'd wait for me
and left
me  anywhere
but home.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 3 11
i circle around the edges
and you get hooked on squares.
friday night lights
that shine throughout the week
and we lose face in the dark.
this beat isn't music
this is a monotonous beating.
and you watch
and i smoke
and you forgot
and i laugh
and you yell
and i --
and you vaporise
and i count the raindrops
no numbers.
and i don't mention letters and you overlook too much to forget.
sometimes i wonder
where i took one left turn too many
i drift off
saturday truly is a tedious day to claim.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 7 3
Simple as moo.
the people in front of me are wagging their tails
trying to swat away the flies
to ignore the fear of the unknown.
they're acting like cows
hiding in the grass
under a shield of small talk
that's been chewed over and over -
it's pulp.
there's an elephant in the room but i'd rather not talk about it.
instead i offer a seat to the black and white
who think i'm another cow
because, after all, we're both in the field.
and they wonder what happened
- and what is going on -
as my mind implodes
with no time to take prisoners
and no mercy to explain
brain cell-casualties.
confused look.
i am dozens of milky way miles away.
glazed eyes.
i am not the only one disconnected.
it's not their fault, i suppose. cows can't know what landmines are.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 4 5
A merry-go-round hostage.
i can't stop running home
and i don't have nerves of steel
but my compass is corrupted
withdrawing me to a dirt road.
and this fog
oh love all this fog
it came rolling in
without giving a
two weeks notice.
all help is deaf
and all your loved ones are blind.
i've got myself
a crystal present
and i thought i wasn't
running in circles
when i got stuck
in a reversed ball.
a rag and bone future
half clothes and half lives.
and the bluebird vanished
without flapping a wing
or batting an eye
and i'm left with background noise -
i'm never right.
war zone on the first floor
red alert on the second
top floor is off limits
eden is off the map.
a hound lurking in the corner
silent except for its breathing
mocking snorts
and a radiant black
as he plans to make footprints
i will not find.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 3 3
Post-Its XIV.
         duly noted. --
dear l.,
your secrets lie
in the hudson river
but you just wanted to throw a coin
into a rome fountain.
         dear k.,
         you shed tears finding out it was over
         i hope i only shed tears realizing
         just a call was a good call.
dear f.,
we divided zero and somehow ended up with two.
         dear m.,
         eleven days later
         but years earlier
         and i lose
         my already weak grip
         on time
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 3 14
Mixed up. by Poisonedkitty Mixed up. :iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 3 2
When it rains,the sewer cries.
There'll be a day when I will read back on what used to fascinate me and
not remember what it was that pulled me in. Congratulations, you just got healthy.
I'm waiting on the side of the road for the bus to come.
It's pouring down, so I try to keep my umbrella as close to my head as possible.
My vision is limited to white line – blue line – white line – blue line – white line...
A strand of hair is blown in front one of my eyes and for a moment I imagine myself
on the beach; except for the wheels of the cars that I can just see racing by.
Which makes sense, reality is never a hundred percent correct.
I can't see the bus-stop anymore, but I should assume I'm still standing there.
Does 'standing somewhere' and 'being somewhere' ever mean the same thing these days?
This morning I drowned my hands in the sink.
The bubbles created by the detergent formed a happy face, until I picked up the plate
to dry it off and watched the smile slowly fade.
Pills are supposed to make
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 5 3
If I don't know, it isn't so.
No matter how comfortable you look in the shadows, you know you're glowing.
I wouldn't be burning if you weren't so bright.
I don't know what will happen when you visit the depths again.
Although you will defy gravity as I am pulled under by clawed hands.
Oh. Ah.
Life is so fair.
(Ying yang, baby – anywhere but home.)
My green mirror has been painted grey, or is it just dust on the surface.
I should not want it back to that state so badly - I should just need it.
Wrong side of the one-way street, re-wire your brain, miss.
Stop short-circuiting your discipline.
Going around and around and around...
Hello vicious circle, nice to meet you, again.
(Oh no, not my non-existent allergies.)
I didn't quite catch that, anyone there?
Possibly you're breaking up again.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
Well, we can't all be starry-eyed.
Make shades from dollars to help manage the rays.
(Vivid, intense, who knew the truth was dazzling
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 6 2
Time doesn't listen to logic.
i lose hours –
until they hunt me down
and catch me
off guard.
seconds can feel like hours, sweetness.
seconds can very well be black holes in disguise.
seconds can ruin a lifetime.
you are too blind to see
time is irrelevant
when you're stuck in a memory.
the day it actually stops is not the day
it's over in your head.
i heard someone say it will not end
until you crack your skull
open it and set it free;
like a reversed pandora's box.
...then again, i usually hear people
speaking my thoughts.
and they don't know it
i am the only one who hears it.
i am so, so very special.
you might not have done anything
according to you;
but you haven't done a thing
according to me either.
"don't make me choose between the two."
"fine, i'll have both then."
shifty eyes and clenched fists are way overdue.
don't act like the lie you tell me now
will protect me while i'm in the past.
time travelling is for the insane only.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 6 5
Bang the keys.
you don't like me
mostly because i can't play
the piano, your favourite instrument;
except for me, of course.
and my attempt at singing
when you clench my throat
doesn't satisfy you either.
whispering my heart out
as you make my breathing stop
does not fill the void this mass created.
well, what are you waiting for
make me get it
make me lose it.
it's not like you're anything
like me.
slap some sense into me.
bang the keys
bash them to the surface.
purple is such an underrated colour
in the palette of perfection.
i have no home.
i have no clue.
i just have someone who desperately
- or am i the desperate one here? -
wants to play the piano.
and i am still not good enough.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 2 1
I am a tool.
being with you
makes me feel
so alone.
you make me realize
i am a girl
of temporary solutions.
i'll be temporarily loved
temporarily pretty
this will make me temporarily happy.
a little blue bird told me
if i don't invite myself into life
i will never have one.
a big dark dog told me
if i do try to get one
he will rip me in half (again) and end it.
how am i supposed to be
when things keep shredding me
into smaller and smaller pieces?
i am the tool my pen uses
to make poetry
as a survival mechanism.
even a blank paper
my size
can't be folded 8 times.
but it might be able
to get fooled
more than that.
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 7 7
Vous ne comprenez pas.
le zero.
         you welcomed the poison with open arms.
         hell, you even invited her in.
         unlocked the door and closed it on command.
         sit. stay.
two (+1).
         your s's turn into l's and biting
         tongues has always been awkward,
         but sometimes it just needs to be done.
the charm.
         ring the bell, turn on the siren.
         oh no, oh yes --
         forget about the false alarm
         just because you know
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 5 4
when will you be done snorting cinnamon.
when will you see that
your candy-coated future is nothing
but many painfully (bitter)sweet delusions.
you, ugly duckling, are really
an ugly duckling.
you will n e v e r
resemble a black swan.
sharpen your senses, open your eyes.
it doesn't matter:
your polished face and dyed hair
are only lie enhancers.
the feeling of disgust
will always be willing to
play house with you.
you cannot escape.
your so-called-truth is fraying.
it will unravel as you continue
pretending to walk over the tightrope
while everyone sees you crawling.
at what time did an eternity of being normal
blacken in the flames of the desire
to burn yourself down over and over
until you glow with perfection?
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 2 8
Give this man a ride.
candle wax, candle wax
let me snort your light
get me high and make me dance
like i am the first and last and best
you have ever found
new wave, old wave
i don't really care
turn it on and let me
sing out
the light switch works
on my brain as well.
breathe in summer, breathe out happiness
hide the basement in the attic
fill the holes with paper
we'll take the cuts
and see the pain
as an afterglow.
ashes, ashes
do we all fall down?
i shouldn't ever beg
for someone
to pierce me back
:iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 6 7
Mature content
Thirty-first jumpstart. :iconpoisonedkitty:Poisonedkitty 5 2



Not a real artist. Just really human.
"I imagine freedom as never finding that part of yourself again."





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SasparillaHalliday Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2012   Writer
HugQueen Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012   Writer
SecretAdmirerPlz Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2012
Oh My! It looks like someone has sent you a rose!
But who?
I guess this means you have someone out there who admires & appreciate's you!

:heart: "Happy Valentines" :heart:
P.S. This was suppose to be sent to you 1 1/2 days ago
LoKiRaseNgAn Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012   General Artist
Hey you! It's been ages since I've seen or talked to you. How've you been, how's life treating ya?
Eremitik Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012
Havent seen you around in while so I thought I would just say Hello.
Hope you are well and enjoying the brand spanking new year!
(1 Reply)
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