Spellbound

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Deviation Actions

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Spellbound


I am not enchanted.

The dreams come 
but they are not dreams at all 
and I am not asleep.

Your hand sliding up my thigh 
and your groan slicks itself onto my neck,
embeds itself into my skin.

I wear the remnants 
of your ecstasy in my flesh still. 
It crawls when any other nears it.

It came to be that your bed-side clock 
replaced my fearful heartbeat
as I laid in stasis and hoped -

for a passing; of time, of fingers, of life.
I cannot sleep with ticking in my ear anymore
I don't think of time running out, but of paralysis.

I think of lapses of concentration,
of tongues, 
of temperaments. 

I think of those slow burning moments 
that stretched out longer than I wanted
and lasted longer still. I think of the tears.

I am not enchanted.

The days pass 
but they are not days at all
and I am not awake.

I am pacified by the numbness 
of lobe or cortex that controls memory, 
a self imposed strike out against you,

a strike my hand should have made.
Regret is buried
six feet beneath my fingernails.

Every time I tell someone I love them
I hear my soprano voice stuttering, 
breaking.

I recall luring you to sleep with those words, 
over and over, and when it was safe 
I would run down the spiral staircase in the tower.

I admit I sipped from china cups 
and daintily impersonated an adult.
I thought I could handle love, loving.

The rag-dolls watched, wide eyed and horrified, 
as my bravado fell flat. As I fell flat.
As we fell, and I flatly refused. 

As I clenched my jaw, the same jaw I will always bear. 
As I crushed my eyes shut, 
the same eyes that will always burn with shame. 

As I dug my nails through the sheets. 
The nails are gone, I bit them til they bled. 

I suspect the sheets are gone too, 
a destroyed relic of a squirming, weeping, spurting love-
-what I thought was love then- but even so,

I was never enchanted.





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Comments50
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starg691's avatar
I arrive really REALLY late to this but I appreciate it equally as much :heart:
littleconfusion's avatar
thanks so much for the feature! :heart:
PoetryOD's avatar
You're welcome!
reichan79's avatar

Thank you very much for featuring :huggle:

Photos are incredible and I feel honored that my work also is here :).

RubenVallejo's avatar
Thank you very much for feauturing my art! ^^ Really apreciate it :hug:
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loLO-o's avatar
Extremly beautiful feature! thank you so so much for including my picture.
PoetryOD's avatar
:D You are welcome!
Koppo's avatar
powerful displays, and great colours. great selection kate.
PoetryOD's avatar
TaraLundriganPhoto's avatar
Thank you so much for the feature! :) Such beautiful artworks.
stardixa's avatar
Beautiful feature! :aww: thank you for including my photo!
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Like-A-Kitty's avatar
Your journal is so beautiful :heart: thanks for including my work :hug:
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HristinaGalabova's avatar
thanks! great feature! :)
MyLifeThroughTheLens's avatar
You are very talented Kathryn , that is beautiful.
Thank you for including me.
PoetryOD's avatar
Aw, thank you!! 
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