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subliminal

the rain that comes and cleanses up my lust
and makes my hateful soul to crumble into dust
i reach to touch my puny crippled happy star
instead i find a rusty pretty crowbar

i sit i wonder and i eat
the rotting butterflies they are so sweet
well... what i tried in this poem was to use some positive words like "cleanses" ,"pretty","happy" then twist them,true deviant art spirit :)
:iconthedaemonqueenlilith:
TheDaemonQueenLilith Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2004   Traditional Artist
i found this funny. it's nice to see how one can pervert such "light" word into something way better than some sappy piece. love and keep writting
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:iconakashka:
akashka Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2004  Hobbyist
"...hateful soul crumble in dust" would less break the flow of the poem I think. The personalisation of the sould is good as well , especially for a poem so linked to it. Its very odd. Out of place. Weird, not expected, interesting read
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Submitted on
January 30, 2004
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