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Birth of a God

complete
with open eyes,
sadistic yet serene,
in vain my veins keep pulsing.
with pagan lust and christianic sorrow
i spawn a lovely rigid faith...
rotten and forgiving,
messed up and blind,
complete.
A little,twisted poem i wrote forpoetic-forms,it respects more or less the structure of a rictameter,of which you can find more about here: [link]
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:icondeathsite:
deathsite Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2005
I like how you change your way writing when you say "messed up", although most people wouldn't agree with me. This area some what symbalizes (sp) how it's "messed up" by making it messed up, if you catch my flow........(most people don't)...................
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:iconabsu:
absu Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2005
Hey, that's pretty cool.
Except "Christianic" isn't a word, I think the word you're looking for is "Christian".
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:iconlxvecore:
LxVeCoRe Featured By Owner May 18, 2004
hmmmmmmm.......
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:iconpoetry-of-hate:
poetry-of-hate Featured By Owner May 18, 2004
*ponders deeply and concerned... doesn't get it,thinks again more carefully... still doesn't get it*

You're a little bit to cryptic for me :)
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:iconlxvecore:
LxVeCoRe Featured By Owner May 18, 2004
lol
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:iconpoetry-of-hate:
poetry-of-hate Featured By Owner May 18, 2004
*does the la cucaracha dance in a very disturbing manner*

you're not very talkative are you?
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:iconlxvecore:
LxVeCoRe Featured By Owner May 19, 2004
lol nooo, well yes but i suck at giving comments...howd u know?
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:iconaelisha:
aelisha Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2004
Hmm... Interesting. My one suggestion would be to try and find a syllabic substitute for "messed up," which sounds overly informal, particularly considering your diction is much more precise, and you're working with a strict form.
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:icondasya:
dasya Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2004
I like the 'vain' and 'vein' homophones, very nice sounding.

Overall a very nice air, the many contradictions were wise choices.

What is being born here, the god or the religion? Or both?
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:iconpoca-estrella13:
Poca-Estrella13 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2004  Student Traditional Artist
Wow...I like it...makes you think...
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:icondravinsdreams:
dravinsdreams Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
Your work is so great-I always love the dark stuff
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:iconthedaemonqueenlilith:
TheDaemonQueenLilith Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004   Traditional Artist
nice, i like it...missed your work.
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:iconpoetry-of-hate:
poetry-of-hate Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
oh well i only write at 5 am in the morning,i need the insomnia to write :) ,and unfortunately this hadn't happen for quite some time
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March 3, 2004
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