My friends gave me laughterAll the fear and hate
Will try to block out
All the memories of joy
But I’ll laugh
Even if it’s
Just to spite it
For that’s what my
Friends gave to me unwittingly
They gave me the power to laugh
dear so and so (4/30)dear so and so,
it has come to my attention
that this life has gone belly-up
and morning birds don't sing (for me).
if they ever unearth my remains
they'll see I still remain
the same, as I did before
and that's okay -- I'm okay
with the way colors lose their hue
or how the lilies you grew for me
always die after a little while
because even muted things
have their place.
And it's okay that I'm diluted
and shapeless because I could be
everything or nothing at all.
Maybe nothing even really matters.
Maybe that's the point.
but do you know where courage sleeps?
I had been trying to find it
and shake it awake so I too
could know it.
But someone once told me that this
was no place for me.
And I think there's some truth to that.
So, for now I'll stack my bones
neatly where they lay, and scatter
my ashes where you can't find them.
I hope someday you'll forgive me.
A Descent from Innocence Caitrín felt Angus’ frigid hands close on her waist. She restrained a shudder and closed her eyes. Angus would think she liked it, of course. He always did, so Caitrín barely had to hide her hatred.
“Caitrín?” came the soft wicked whisper in her ear. “Can I give you anything? I love you. More than anything.”
Angus’ hands plummeted in temperature, and they were already cold. Caitrín grasped his wrists and pushed his hands away.
Can I give you anything? Angus dared ask her if he could give her anything. He had already taken from Caitrín everything she had ever wanted.
She remembered the night he had sank his teeth into her flesh. It was the eve of her wedding. She and Finn had spent the whole day together, hands clasped, talking softly. Caitrín could not count the smiles they had shared, or the moments she had wanted to capture in glass bottles and keep forever. It had only be
She entered the elegantly decorated room with slow calm steps and made her way to the ornate bed carved with the elaborate designs of mythical creatures and fabled places, stoping only when she reached its side to gaze down at the figure that slept peacefully upon it. A slight breeze came through the open window and brushed back the thin curtains allowing the full moon to shine down on him and her breath caught at the sight before her. The soft silk sheets that did little to cover him and his bare beauty was just as majestic and breathtaking as the first night he had shared her bed
And yet it had to end.
Moving over him she straddled his waist and softly pressed her mouth against his. He sighed and opened his clear blue eyes to look up at her. Those eyes, they had never been able to keep secrets from her. Soon, they would not hold any secrets at all.
He smiled at her then, the way he always had; with utterly devoted adoration. It made tears form in her eyes. She would miss it just as much as she would miss him, and her heart broke with the thought that she would never see it again. Fighting the tears, she bought her hand up and let it hover above his heart. He stared at the silver glint of cold metal she held within her grasp, seemingly mesmerized by the glinting moonlight reflected on its smooth surface. Sadness flickered across his face before he shifted his gaze back to her.
“Is it that time already?” he asked softly, his silent hope unbearable.
In answer she slowly lowered the blade so that its edge pressed into his skin. A dark pool of crimson welled and spilled down the hard plains of his stomach. It looked so beautiful against the starkness of his flesh under the pale moonlight and that broke her heart all the more.
Her hand began to shake, and she closed her eyes to hide her tears, but a callused hand brushed away the warm wet trails running down her face.
“please,’’ he breathed “I want to see your eyes.”
How could she refuse when this was his one last request?
She opened her eyes and they locked with his.
“I love you” she told him, her voice brimming with anguish.
“I Know” He whispered, and she could see his own love reflected in the cool depths of his gaze.
With a gentle smile he warped his long fingers around her shaking hand and pressed it down, pushing the blade between his ribs until it slid into his heart. He coughed once, and a trail of blood trickled from his mouth. She tried to hold back the sob that built in her throat, but it escaped in a ragged exhale. Releasing the weapon, she placed a palm on each side of his face as together they choked; he on blood, she on tears. She watched as the brightness faded from his eyes until his head lulled back and finally he was still.
Allowing one last moment of sorrow she drew in a calming breath and Leaned forward to kiss his warm dead lips, the taste of salt and copper a bittersweet reminder of the things that once were.