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light shining thru her windows by pfoj light shining thru her windows :iconpfoj:pfoj 0 1
i must confess
i've denied things about you
  over and over again
things named desire and heartache
but i never found the strength
though i want to try
i would fight for you
  if only you'd let me
if only i'd stop making excuses
and believe my heart's deceit
for what else could be a lie?
when in the end i stand aside
  to let you go
forever's just a state of mind
and there's no room left
  for getting over you
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 1
one strand
sometimes a strand
is all it takes
to lead your hand
      to me
with twists and subtle
turns down that path
of love
     and bitter memories
i find myself
all /tangled/ up
the bottom in here _lie
tied with one
knot so secure
i frayed to be
the girl
       she comes
and tugs an end..
away from my
  true source
i leave
i loved
but most of all
unraveled you the most
:iconpfoj:pfoj 1 3
forced move
force myself to write
the letters follow
holding hands
holding bars on a
subway ride
talk about the future
soon after it passes
opportunity teases
it came again
after i told it no
i am passionate
about letting go
being indifferent
to plans gone wrong
an unexpected face
lights up
the room moves on
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 2
once twice
once i live for
twice i die for
love in a lifetime
takes a whole life to heal
found what i'd lose by
trying to gain my
sense of dignity
the sake of you forfeit
a whisper spoke clearly
to my heart
          it stops
                  for you
        own my every beat
:iconpfoj:pfoj 1 2
my face is numb. i can't even lift my arm to scribble something on paper. it doesn't have feeling anymore. the words or the arm or both. i wish i could turn off my own feelings just as easily.
i don't know where these compulsive tears come from. i wake up in the morning to find them waiting for me. my body shivers. not uncontrollably. and i stop it by closing the window. the winds sound menacing this high up. i live in a tower, you see.
the expanse of a multi-colored forest below. a view that doesn't scream 'spectacular', but somehow i want to join them, be part of that mundane scenery. i can't fit through the window though, for that speedy descent that seems so much fun.
i guess i'm left with my own machinations. a terribly boring conventional door on the other side of the room. it doesn't lead me to that same exciting place. only a world that has people in it, and responsibilities, and all those cumbersome things.
but that is what i do. i lose myself in this world. i can't equ
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 2
curiosity killed
i swear on your life
or what's left of it
broken for dreams they once held
this reflection you see
shattered and exposed
painful words regretfully hurled
taken back moments too late
did you have to
bring back those memories
of you telling me
how much it doesn't matter
it never mattered
it never entered
your mind
how good it could be
how does it feel now
to almost lose it all
only to savour the sweetness
rolling around your tongue
dewdrops of sweated blood
pulse racing towards flatlines
hanging on the proverbial edges
pushed / leapt on your own accord
curiosity killed love
and i abetted
guilty as charged
i plead insanity
the ride is always peaceful
on the way down
lost and gained at one instant
made your splash on tearfloods
as everything starts to fade
blurry distinction of love and hate
it's over
it's over, it's always over
before it even started
:iconpfoj:pfoj 1 3
DITL - pfoj
day in the life prose
open your eyes
and i listened. that instant before the music blares. before the clock radio wails its painful siren. that's when i was really supposed to wake up. sleeping moments stolen from me.
i didn't find myself mad, i just went through the motions. closed my eyes for what seemed mere seconds. falling to the bed only to wake up an hour later. cursing under my breath, i let the temptation caress me. that raven haired one who wanted me to stay, i call her procrastination. if only for a moment, then i pushed her back. glancing at my reflection in the monitor, i nudged the uncooperative strand of hair into place.
eleven flights down and two buildings over, i sneak to the back of some poorly lighted room. rigorous math: the hardest task in this class is to stay awake. taught by an instructor that needs to lose a few excess weighted variables himself. not everything is a product of sums. i felt like walking out, cheated out of my hours. i did.
the sme
:iconpfoj:pfoj 1 6
poetiConfusionID -pfoj by pfoj poetiConfusionID -pfoj :iconpfoj:pfoj 0 2
comforting thoughts
of you
i take comfort
                            | in the fact
that i
                            | pretend to
know you
                            | another lie
i tell myself               
                            | at night
how lucky
:iconpfoj:pfoj 2 3
tremblingvoices breathingwater
morning angels
tender / trembling
voices raised on high
pitch and pulses
quicken / breathing
water misted eye
light and gentle
hand had covered
mouth when laughter sighed
pouting pushed her
hips to ponder
giggles in the night
clouds were forming
throats left drying
bodies side by side
questioned whether
things were over
sorry if i lied
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 0
fella - terrible twos by pfoj fella - terrible twos :iconpfoj:pfoj 2 10
bottled oasis
sparkling grain
sand underneath fingernails
waiting for the last drop
fall in and consume me
windburn against my eye
                        (stuck in the middle)
                                         of the storm
iris e x p a n d i n g
solar meltd
then you turn my world over and around
upside down
my hourglass tumbles over
yet it do
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 3
bring down the r a i n
the heat could only mean one thing
expect the dark clouds to come
the winds pick up, whip up
pick up fives, tens and twenty leaves
me sitting there, in my corner
my little patch of carpet
remove my /opthalmic lenses/
rub a finger over my eyes
i hear the sobbing
in time with the throbbing
of my heart
i swallow hard
and think of me, selfish me
how could i? how dare me?
not think of you, i think of you
as i wipe away a tear
a smile disappears
just as the sun
gives way to the rain
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 2
when hope stepped out the door
the summer air bleeds warm and supple
close my eyes and headlights pass
a lonesome tear so young so vulnerable
as beads of sweat, they dance towards
writhing in tune to silent rhythm
someone did the dials turn
drown out songs that come to listen
moments lost to mem'ries spurn
from heavy curls of smoke descended
something 'bout the way she smiled
pulled my glance across a wasteland
had my heart start beating wild
her voice inch closer, ever near me
din of silence overcome
fingers stumble deft yet clumsy
rings and knots made cumbersome
trace of sadness left behind her
before i could even get her name
she had me breathless in awe and wonder
when things could never be the same
eyes went darting, barely spoken
moved above the bar's 'last call'
not exactly midnight's stroke - and
that was when i saw it fall
had she left but one glass slipper?
i don't believe in fairy tales
but there it was in dim light glimmer
a business card: some telling trail
spilling money, spending drinks
lips apart wit
:iconpfoj:pfoj 0 3
new found myths
i can't contain myself anymore
obsessed with my new found impurity
stripped raw from lashed out words
receptacle of what i used to be
throat scorched by hot air rising
smoldered circuits etching veins
pounding fingers on bloodied plastic
delivering blows every verse of pain
stumbled phrases collected daily
this rude baptism made infants wail
divine inspiration hard to come by
heroic sandals to fit... i fail
:iconpfoj:pfoj 2 1



jefferson or
Artist | Literature
Current Residence: markham.ontario
Favourite genre of music: hiphop, r&b, pop, alternative/emo
Favourite photographer: hesitation, qdog
Favourite style of art: retro vectorized popart, nice lines and vibrant/subtle color
Operating System: windows XP
MP3 player of choice: winamp2 // itunes
Shell of choice: kristin kreuk
Wallpaper of choice: boyinmidair's till my breath is no more
Skin of choice: coldmettle suite by SA
Favourite cartoon character: spider-man, batman, and ranma 1/2
Personal Quote: i would fight for you, if only you'd let me


Mon Jul 3, 2006, 6:27 PM
i dun even know where to begin ...

lately things have been going and not going my way.. i flip flop between not caring any less and getting frustrated but amused at the same time.

and sometimes time just passes without so much as a once over from me, it gets disturbing how nonchalant i am.

... and i never know when to stop
  • Listening to: panic at the disco
  • Reading: calvary road
  • Watching: tmn on demand has nothing on


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