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Confessional Poetry

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessional_poetry Poets whose writing is classified as confessional (it has been argued) use writing as an outlet for their demons.

U
Untitled I
I sat there anxiously prepared to rip my skin off - to bare my life to a stranger, doodling on the paper in front of me, a paper with all the information to remember, I could feel the sweat in the armpits accumulating, and I tried in vain to steady my breathing, hand gripping hard around my phone not to shake. The happy on hold music played relentlessly - on repeat, every note stabbing me leaving me gasping for air to its rhythm, This was my final life line which I had fought against - for months, years, holding it off in a naive hope that life at some point needs to get better, as everyone said it would. Liars.
c
5 centimeters per second
You are like an illusion, a hologram trying to hold my hand, you fade away into distance, I slip through the fingers of time, there is nothing real, maybe it all is just a dream, something to wake from, you fall into pieces and melt into thousand puddles, a breath and you are gone, but I remember you inside, you are on my cornea until the wind takes me like the leaves on autumn trees, and then we will be gone, be a memory from yesterday, with no footprints in the snow.
H
How can you
How can one person make you feel so small, make you feel like you evaporated in that instant, like your gasping for air doesn't matter, how can that person you want to comfort you not care when you bat your lashes like a madman just to not let your tears escape, how can you let another person make you feel like your existence doesn't matter, how your feelings and your plans can be set aside for other things, for other people when you're supposed to be important, how can that very person you've entrusted your life with just crush it without thought like it was the easiest thing in the world - when at the same moment it crushed your hear
V
Vertebrae
It drips along my vertebrae, dark, smudgy, reeking of disgust, it find the holes, the bones downward, it feels itself forward like nervous hands on a nude body, I can sense it: tingling, falling, cascading, ruining along my vertebrae, It spreads like a fire in a dry forest, the animals flee in panic, the vegetation screams, nothing is left, only barren land, It drips, like oil down my back: the hate, the anxiety, the thoughts of not being enough slithers around my vertebrae and break them, one by one.
t
4th November
It was like any other day, regular, a bit foggy, the leaves had flown, it was night, dark and I sat in the lamp glow talking to you, you asked: 'will you be my girlfriend?' and everything lit up, cleared away, my heart fluttered, my lips parted and I said: 'yes'.
W
Wallflower
Everything is so unclear, I don't know anything, it's limbo land, a still stand, moving nowhere, not even the snowflakes fall, silence. Play and pretend: breathing, living, sleeping, maybe eating, such a dreadful existence, forward slowmotion, steps backward, but still a slice of hope for something more.
A
A song without music
I'm made of poetry it runs in my black veins, circulate, mumble fair words into my ears, like tinnitus, I dance round round to the poetry lullabies inside, clucking in my blood like the waves against the shore, I know... the poems will take me one day, run me over, swallow me and I will go with them, take them in my hand and laugh, because... I was never made for this world, I was made for my own, a world with castles made of poetry bricks and seams, I am poetry. I am a poem. I just don't have a name yet. I am free poetry, I will never be constrained, versed, rhymed, I am a flow of words combined on a theme, a though
C
Closer
You're not here and my tears are falling everywhere, I need you so much closer, my heart aches, I ache, I want to wake up next to you when the sun rays stripe your face but haven't awaken you yet, I want to walk in the fog and rain holding your hand in my mittens, a sensation of getting lost but being home, You're too far away, my heart is in need, rocking, trying to get out and fly to you.
E
Elephant
How can you break the chains that hold you down, how can you untie the knots on the ropes, when you really want to but is just so used to being captured that you don't bat an eye when it suddenly constrains you, how can you make yourself take that giant leap, how can you force yourself to dare and trust love, when you're buried deep.
A
Angus and Julia Stone
I want to lie in your arms, do nothing, just breathe, listen to your heart tick tick tick to the soft swaying music of Angus and Julia Stone, it crossed my mind when you were far away and only my heart tack tack tack to the gentle sound of Angus and Julia Stone, I guess they know how it is to be in love and wanting -- to be near, with every syllable they make my heart try to travel closer to yours, even if you're 6602 kilometers, an ocean and a continent away. Can you sense me yet, there, in your embrace?
A
Arch
Together we're a strong arch that keeps the darkness at bay and the light safe, apart we're just a side, something broken, almost fragile, together we keep each other up, support and tackle the world, and give it bandaid when needed, apart we're worn out, suggestible to the dark, tired of fighting, together we're a strong arch that keeps the darkness at bay and the light safe.
I
If you were here
You know, if you were here next to me in bed I would trace your nose down to your mouth with my finger, I would lean forward and kiss you, right there, maybe giggle a little afterwards like a school girl, I think I would kiss you with my eyes closed and my lips almost - shaped as a smile afterwards I would rest my head, right there on your chest below your shoulder I would let you hold me while telling me stories and I would laugh with you, whenever I felt like it, I would trace some part of you and kiss it again and again just because I could.
W
Where - doesn't matter
I want to fly, I want to live, I want to breathe - do it with me, I want to... shake from laughter - like an earth quake, love - like there will be no more sunrises. Run with me all over the world and let yourself be wrapped in spice scents and incense, anywhere - everywhere, be happy and don't care where you get lost as long as it's - with me. So, close your eyes, pick a spot and pack lightly, I will meet you there in the crossing of what was before and what will come - where? Doesn't matter.
A
A special kind of beauty
I hunger for the words, serve myself out as a whore, a slut on the attention platter to boys, to girls, all I want them to say is that I'm pretty, stunning, beautiful, like no one else they've ever met, I want to hear it, taste it, feel it, even sense the jealousy when they stare a hole in the back of my head, but all I ever will be is this special kind of beauty that you need to grow to love, instead of turn around and fall for I'd like that.
W
Want to weave a fantasy world
I want to build forts from sheets (I was never allowed) in your room and let you find me when you get home, I want to giggle all night with a lamp and a comic or story, maybe with some shadow play, in a tent - indoors, I want to make snow angels in the middle of the night, because I can - it has snowed, I want to see a unicorn and let her lay her head in my lap - I wouldn't tell anyone (I might whisper), I want to dance around in the rain, in the snow, in the moment and hear you laugh - so close, I want to build castles and be swept away by evil but kind hearted princes and princesses, I want to jump in piles of leav
W
Wind swept
I'm raging against the wind, I need someone to take my hand - hold me down, I'm afraid to be swept away, far from everything I love, from everyone, I'm as light as a feather, empty inside and if I just stand on my toes the wind will take me, the wind howls, the wind yells, screams, I exhaust myself with it, no one is there to protect me from the wind, the echoes inside my ribcage, the only thing anchoring me is the promise of not flying away - yet.
L
Love on a roof top
I want to climb up a roof top with you to watch the sunset, starry night and sunrise with my head on your shoulder and your hand in mine - all entwined, I wouldn't care about hunger, pain or sorrow, I would just sit there and watch nature's play from spring to summer to autumn to winter. If it would rain I would kiss you dry, if it snowed I would take away the snowflakes in your hair and if it stormed I would come closer to share the warmth. If you would scream I would scream with you, if you would talk about nothing and everything I would talk too and if I would see something I would point it out so you could see it too. So I
S
She spoke
He looked upon her where she stood, in the moonlight under the stars, he couldn't believe she was there even less reaching out her hand. "Love me" she said, "Take my hand and let us leap" she said.
W
Weight of the world
You're crawling on me sucking up my strength, like soup, you can't get enough, you must have more. The more you eat from me, the thinner I get, the heavier you become, I start to feel your weight on top of me. You break my back, you break my knees, but you won't break me. No matter how much strength you eat, I will always have more, stashed away from your sticky fingers from your drooling mouths. No matter what you do to me I will never crumble -- I will take the weight and carry you through.
M
Moon wonders
Sometimes I wonder if you think of me equally much as I think of you, if you too look up the moon knowing that I see the same, like we weren't an ocean apart but neighbours, wall to wall.
P
P E R F E C T I O N
I'm unperfect, a little chipped, a sinner and a saint, I'm not white or black, more like grey or greyscale, I'm not in a neat heartbox with straight edges or classic content, I'm a rebel, but shy and I'm yours if you call me perfect.
S
Skipping beats
You casually say you miss me while I mumble and stumble I      miss                you                         too while showing a facade of indifference inbetween skipping beats.
S
S I C K
With all the packages on top of each other, like I bought the whole pharmacy -- I am living, sedated, exasperated, another pill, another cream, another test, red, red, blood, strict schedule, every day - every morning, up and fix, fix and sleep, all over again - the package says, weeks and months, a small note with small text -- which can't be thrown away talks about all the little side effects: nausea, herpes, irritation, redness, diseases, problems, anxiety, depression... and I wonder: is it all worth it or will I die anyway?
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