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tillman c freeman
7 Watchers4.3K Page Views106 Deviations

pointless release

p

pointless release

i've done all i can except run away and still you come 'round like a moth to flame so now what? what do i say? is this really happening? or am i insane? i wish you would answer but don't that's a lie 'cause when you do i start to die i already know the reason things keep going this way and thats where things get hazy 'cause i'm not doing this alone so now what? what do i say? is this really happening? no, i must be insane
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not what i want

n

not what i want

inspired to be withdrwan i can't think of what to do i want to scream show you my hate break you and make you mine i want to cry tell you i lie hold you and remove my pain i want to dance to make you laugh dazzle you and share my joy i want to rant share my point of view berrate you and recieve the same i want to posses you like how you got me affect you and know its alright i want to know you trust forever, love too i love you and it makes me sad you don't understand no matter how i try it doesn't matter anyways i see it now with you, i'm dead some how
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tortured rebuttal

t

tortured rebuttal

watching as you walk away i know i lost again today wishing, waiting my dream come true you come back and love me too lost in thought the words i hear twisted changed the truth i fear broken hearted i can't go back loving you my eternal heart attack ----------------------------------------------- AND THEN I REMEMBER HOW MUCH I REALLY HATE YOU THE WAY I FEEL IS SO INCORRECT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU DISGUST ME AND NOW I CANT FORGET THE REASON I LOVE YOU AND IT MAKES ME SICK TO TRUST YOU AND YES I CAN BECUASE I KNOW YOU SEEN YOU THERE AND SEEN MYSELF FUCK YOU BITCH I HATE THE GUILT
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i gotta pee

i

i gotta pee

shaking with anticipation the urge being egged on damned with embarrassment i can't go outside so hurry up and decide
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my last letter home

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my soon to be

m

my soon to be

i promised you to never do it again so far i've held true but i can't stop this the pain i feel it keeps getting worse as each day passes love embraced continueing to fade and now i face this fear alone my heart siezes locked up tight the only thought is goodnight good bye good luck whatever, who cares i promised you and now you're gone so here i hang with frightened glee struggling to breathe fighting to prove you wrong my only insanity was waiting so long
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damaged goods

d

damaged goods

Tainted and painted with the past I'm to afraid to even ask And still i'm here... forgetting myself I'm in hell and i wish... Are you waiting for me? Am i the angel you seek? I'm broken, confused and dismayed I see you and I forget All my pain washes away Lost in your beauty I don't know what to say I'm damaged goods, can you fix me? Ofcourse that's impossible Its just another daydream But I'm still here... totally unsure I'm damaged goods Because I fell in love In love with you.
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this sweet dream

t

this sweet dream

pointless cause, never to go anywhere. constantly lost, wandering and wondering. am i right? could i be? totally impossible! right? hmm... now i wonder, should i wander? or maybe i am. right! and i'm really lost i wish i could ask. find out the truth. but i am scared, such a chicken-shit. lost in my dillusions i'd hate to shatter... this sweet dream.
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feelings in rhyme

f

feelings in rhyme

lost completely i left yo behind no longer important no longer my prize forgiven for everything 'cept ego and pride with this i leave you in one giant stride the last embrace a lover's goodbye forced to withdraw this love of mine naked and shattered turn to the vine drunken disorderly the charge in mind forgiven by all including the swine lucky me at least this time it could've been worse i could'a cried totally exposed nowhere to hide i should've said no kept it inside
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See all

unnamed rambling

u

unnamed rambling

i keep tripping, its not so bad now it only happens everyonce in a while but when it does, its so bad... it hurts a lot, being reminded... of what i am. i see all these hands... reaching out to (free me) strike me down i see all these eyes... looking (to love me) foward to my death i hear all these words... said to(comfort me) get me off my guard so you can kill me. its getting better though i can feel what you really want i can see what you're really doing i can hear what you're trying to say but still i find myself tripping falling back in the same old hole it gets really confusing seeing you smile and the intents behind
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today - october 28th 2001

t

today - october 28th 2001

today was so bad for me the worst yet ever today i opened up old wounds i'm so scared what am i gonna do? today i almost died and now i'm not the same today i was lucky or was it fate today i could have seen God but i was so stuck on you today is the beginning "my life without you"
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girl in my dreams

g

girl in my dreams

every waking moment, i spend thinking of you i find myself sleeping, just to see you you're beautiful in every way you're the girl in my dreams i thought i saw you once, while i was awake i couldn't approach you i didn't want to wake up you love me for what i am and i love you for what you make me one of these days i will wake up and you will be there with me but untill that day, i will be fine i still have the girl in my dreams
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how i am

h

how i am

You say you love me, and that's great What do I say? Supposed to say I love you. Supposed to feel for you. I'm sorry I feel nothing. Its not my fault. I can't stop the way I am. can't change me from this course. I was meant to be this way, I'm sure, actually I'm not. I'm scared. I'm scarred. What do I tell you? I don't know. What I do know is, I cant be without you. You make me more complete. Maybe one day, I'll feel for you, The way you feel for me. Until then, I'll give you all of me. 110% Until then, I will pretend, (for my sake) I love you too.
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why cant i stay away from

w

why cant i stay away from

i am so deadly to my health at every turn i kill myself i have made pain my only friend he visits all the time he comes in so many forms fire, knives, love, and rage fire, to burn, fire to clense now the scars are all thats dirty knives, to slice, knives to let go now i'm clinging with one arm love, to remind me of what i am not love, to push out the worst in me rage, now there's a friend best one i ever had rage used to help me, any time i needed but rage is very untamed cause now rage is against me and all i did was try to control it rage gave me the knife rage gave me the fire rage said its ok to love that he would le
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going back

g

going back

well here i am i'm going back back to who i was but dont worry you will like him he's a good guy he only scares me i would love to leave him alone just leave me be but i guess its for the best maybe i need him maybe he's changed yeah maybe i used to have a protector you know who you are, but now you're gone. and here i am and here he is just watching and waiting laughing at how week i really am well here i am just dreading the day the day he comes but i guess its ok i wont remember a thing but you will notice i will be happy again well it will look like it to you me i will be there unable to say "help"
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shit is stuck in -you

s

shit is stuck in -you

i hate you all of you why should i like you why should i love you all you do is try to bring me down down to where you are i dont want it i dont need it i've been there before and look what i did now i'm crippled now i'm alone i burned all the bridges but one and that one's falling apart the more i walk it the less real it becomes why don't you get out here i want you with me why make me walk this all alone? you should be here too when this breaks i want you with me when i start to fall i want you here with me when i fail
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end of me

e

end of me

In my lowered state I'm so much higher In my death, Ive been wiser You all worship, the God i see Don't bring me down from my apathy All these words I've said aloud Yelling, screaming, top of my lungs Its hard to see from where I'm at I don't think she pushes me I'm at the brink of my destruction For all I know, but I can't see Bring me down from your apathy In my highest state you're lower than me In my birth, you've been stripped you all adore, the beauty of me Get me out of this apathy Put me back where i can see Get me away from, The end of me.
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through your eyes

t

through your eyes

i'm a hated man you'd rather me dead the only reason you tolerate me is what i can do for you you use me' i'm your machine but, when i balk, you throw me away you only stay near me to watch me fail you get all your joy from my misery you bring me up and give me joy just so you can crush me again and again
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today - january 6th 2002

t

today - january 6th 2002

things have changed i'm not the same old wounds have healed the scars are gone i see tomorrow and i'm me, you're you, and i'm fine come end, come beginning things have changed i've got a smile on my face and in my heart today i saw the path and i took it today i start "my life for me"
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Collection

Favourites

Seeing Past Sight

S

Seeing Past Sight

You believe in what you see. I reply 'close your eyes'. You see nothing that can be. Yet existance fills your life. I ask you what faith means to you. Yet it means sticking with your 'friends'. All in the same branded: labelled and sold; with a marking on your head. You talk about being different, but want to be the same instead. I say what does human mean to you? The answer's not just flesh and bone. You believe in life, which you cannot see. But you cannot believe in death. You're blinded, that's why you believe in what you see. If you were deaf you'd believe in what you hear. You can't see love, you can't see spirit, can't yo
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Spotlight

something like that

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Artist // Literature
  • United States
  • Deviant for 18 years
  • He / Him
Badges
Llama: Llamas are awesome! (2)
My Bio
Personal Quote: join a cult go to greenland

Devious Journal Entry

Devious Journal Entry

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Devious Journal Entry

Devious Journal Entry

here i sit broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted.
2Comments

Devious Journal Entry

Devious Journal Entry

well here i sit broken hearted tried to shit and only farted
0Comments

Comments 18

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thanks for the watch :)
Thanks for the watch!!! :glomp:
*waves at random deviant who is 59.8 km away from me*
thx for the comment! i'll take ur tip into consideration. maybe a lil color will spice it up :) (Smile)
spyedHobbyist General Artist
Have you ever had a dream, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?

What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire deviant life, that there's something wrong with the story. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.

You take the blue pill, the story ends. Your browser closes and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I offer only the truth, nothing more.

Take: The Red Pill
Take: The Blue Pill

Fella Point Right spyed, nobody has ever done this before.
Ninja Point Right I know. That's why it's going to work.

Do not try and bend the spoon ...
thank you so much! i really appreciate your comment, and you should never be jelous of anyone, cause if you could do things just like someone else...then who would do things like you? how have you been anyways? its been so long :( (Sad) . later.
Heart -aeryn-
Hiya. Thanks for the comment on the badly manipulated picture of Willmas Barnyard Fiasco. Sorry, the link to their website was kinda hidden at the bottom of the submission description. Go here: [link]
and thanks again. I'll be back to read some of your work soon.

Cheers
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I always dream of a pen that would be a syringe.