PermanentlyExhausted's avatar
youarebeautiful<3
224 Watchers11.9K Page Views145 Deviations
Colors
5
140
Milky Way over Dedegul
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75
Night sky watch
9
93
The calm of his gaze
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207
tranquil
2
72
Senja 10
14
86
Stage 4 Darkness
14
72
Glowing Mist Moon
21
137
Senja 11
20
132
See all
w
wanted
warm and                 wanted I curl into your chest with soft sighs holding all the galaxies between our interlaced fingers. we are two lovers hidden among the sea of beating hearts wisps of smoke along the earth’s glassy surface but here lost in the afterglow of surrender perfect union of spirits we are effortlessly cradled in moment of stillness while the universe rushes on
5
5
s
september unwinds and i keep walking
even now          i guess i wish i had counted my steps been able to trace my way back which is to say i would still make kisses on your eyelids with promises of things to be. i guess i would straighten my spine & untwist my owl neck— always too caught looking backwards listening for things that cannot be heard. i guess i would leave you everything— walls and garden, soil and soot— everything except for the door which i would keep for me because while they gave you roots, i was given feet and while i had somewhere to be, you were given some place to keep. the other night, i walked down your street & the
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3
t
the island
you’re an island the leaves blow like her hair the breeze filled with her voice singing sweetly she haunts whoever hardly lives in you her image renders on the moon casted upon your rocks ever gleaming you’re left alone in an ocean forever never leaving
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4
s
sunlit but shivering
count on me not unlike you count your fingers the spaces between your eyes drawing light like gravity lines on my palm and exit velocity, a silent cry to be held, read like rivulet in wax wings or myths to dispel the notion we are unique and all alone in this Garden of Heathens sunlit and shivering sighs slide sideways, writing monuments in exhaled exhaust exhaustion; a blossom is untimely opening as fingers print passing time, the touch artists' need to create faster than society's capacity to destroy motion lights wash out the stars; hearts free, souls sold separately passive is the feather we are burning together shivering and s
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13
06.27.19
i was born in 1995 and never existed at the same time as mercury.  maybe i shouldn’t be bitter about it but bitterness is as bitterness does. did it feel good?  to call us animals while you issued the slaughterhouse to take humans unfit for consumption. you know, what you did to us, we call it the lost generation.  we call it generational trauma.  because while i can’t seem to bring up my queerness in conversation even though everyone knows it. did you know smoking is gay ‘cause we need somewhere to blow out the anxiety, did you know how it feels to yearn?  how to reach out for someone and have them find you disgusting
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S
Surrender
I remember the colors you made that night on the porch when the fireflies claimed the air around us - the bright blue blazing between your fingers as you said breathing was a trick of the night. I raised your hand to touch my face, feeling the pink trail of the morning yet to come humming on your palm and the deep pulse of orchid staining my mouth in soft surrender.
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129
C
Careless Magic
I am not one for careless magic. I like things when they disappear or hide themselves up the sleeves of your coat. I like the cards you put in piles, the way the paper quivers as I poke at them when you are not looking. I like the tiny balls and marbles the agate eyes of cats and birds you juggle with a nimble smile as if asking me to count them or try and steal them back. I like the colors of the scarves that lead to nowhere the flagrant red silk squares and yellow cloths - flags of summer parading through the yard. You pluck rabbits from my hat, from the collar of my shirt - and peel back the white pelts, pink skin slick and trembling with
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M
Mold
i. Inflating your ghost Into a thought Had at last light In a dream-- I can't rectify it And I need you to Once. ii. I plant a sword seed And water it nightly. The swollen moon lights it; The afternoons ignite it. It will grow To stab me in the back. iii. You have soft hands, But this is still a stranglehold. iv. Tell me what to do. You pulled all the pink From my blood And kept it-- You must have torn A pink answer with it. Or at least Enough to get a fire going. v. You reared your head, Eyeless, lipless, And I drew my features In the blanks. You looked hideous And I blamed dreams For stirring you And for letting me mask you With
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Y
You Don't Owe Them A Thing
A 'thank you' Dies twisted in my throat You had the neighbors On your mind And you kept going Sweeping everything in: Lawn clippings Bunched on the threshold Dead birds Plugged in our drainpipe Every window An aching maw Sucking in flies and mosquitoes Tires tugging grit Like runner's shoes At the starting block As you even managed To plow the car Through the front Of the wilting house All of us caved At the stomach At once We inverted Like a black hole Or a sinkhole Or a loophole Folding ever in Reversed seeds As if our guts and eyelids Held a broken message Of a way out A 'thank you' Wouldn't have been enough (and so much) You
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5
a
atlantis, lost, found
so i bottled up the blue light & spilled it into the red corners of the city. i washed those streets violet, washed away the violence, promised i would make an ocean out of that wretched river. i saw eyes through broken glass & boarded doors; i saw hands clinging to other hands; i cried. & i cried, & i cried, & i⁠— watched the city sink into purple.
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13
i
it isn't easy.
He says that being him isn't easy. We are looking at the river and I like how not even the sun can light up his eyes, like tunnels of hell, they leave you cold and empty, it's honest, nothing fake about it. Sometimes I thought he was happy, but wishful thinking is a fantasy, he taught me - words dripping with bitterness.
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1
a
avalanche
i’ve been buried alive twice before: once by the cold maw of mother earth, and once in the last great limbic extinction and both were equally insecure, libertine and loveless
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6
d
defiant
I had forgotten your scent until like a ghost you whispered against my ear "darling, do you remember that i smelled of cinnamon and fresh pine?" i shivered then, because the memory of you comes with its own price: an old ache beneath the scars buried far below the surface. The moment passes and i feel                   defiant dumping an extra spoonful of cinnamon into my cookie batter.
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r
restless without
moon spirit, given up rocks, sun, reflected sadness cratered onto the face(of god, or some like concept) no longer able to carry the weight of oceans, to lift the deep dark burden of night so we may rest in our own shadow and what are we now, alone?
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5
O
Our Home Takes Its Shape
How its depths make water of us as we move side by side too busy to gather anything but the shadows, and lights of each other; a yin, and yang threading in, and out   as we flow in much the same way that we don't peer into each other's spaces  --   or ask; how a shroud of fabric, or low light is another's cloud, and current of which we need of the frayed surfaces of secrecy to remember how we gather here. I think of dimensions, and the careful aesthetic of things  --   water, and the nature of water, and everything that hangs in the balance sometimes; and would it be too much if we pried just a little at another's surface, if we utt
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5
E
Entwined
In dew-bright dawn the green sap runs From ageless roots the cycles draw The summer bloom from winter’s thaw Our youth has seen uncounted suns The moonlight wanes; the known stars fall Yet still we live and love anew We rise in joy like summer dew Return Beyond at autumn’s call And so we dance the early light Eternal hearts in time entwined The turning cycle spinning, blind Embracing us in secret night
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4
t
the poet
Among the pile of disappointment Made of shed snakeskins and candy wrappers There is one thing That I'd lose my mind to show you Not the broken empty nights And restlessly resentful days That have taken very little From my soul Even having robbed my heart blind But the words littering my house Like scraps gathered by a spring bird Fashioned into a clamorous nest Cradling the transparent egg Of my longing This need hatches endlessly That is what I'd deliver What I'd show you Show this baring This raw containing The shuddering shell quaking And splitting at the first Living kick In which I can see reality In its truth And gaping falsehoods
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Friesian
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9
Look!
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Guardian
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7

Spotlight

T
Thank You
she called to me waves lapping at my toes she called to me waves traveling up my thighs she called to me i can taste the salt at my lips my nose burning with it & then You called to me & she retreated from me her grip around my throat- lessening, until gone & i came back inside to You.
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58
May 10
United States
Deviant for 10 months
okay part 2
i fuckin' vanished i put a poll up i made a journal i tried but a lot of things have happened... 1. thankyou again to BlackBowfin (https://www.deviantart.com/blackbowfin) for the DD!! i'm still definitely in shock, will be forever, it's fine 2. my main tower pc ... died... lol after five years of gaming i guess it was about time to shit the bed & my mic doesn't work with my laptop setup i have right now so soundcloud is on hold until i can figure that shit out 3. i'm leaving in 8 days!!! aaaa so excited but also so so nervous i will be visiting Australia for about 3 weeks! i will not be taking a computer so you will not see me or hear from me from the 28th of August
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0
UMMM.. I'm in shock? Like for real?? Thankyou so much to :devblackbowfin: you are amazing & wonderful & so very kind. iwerpeuaroiupoawupiorupejfwaejrpoeui can't even word. :faint: never in my life did i think i'd receive a DD for anythingevertobequit ...
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first time using "polls"... i used to post on soundclou...
  |  19 votes
  • ya
  • nope
  • if ya, feel free to comment suggestions from my gallery for what you'd like to hear me read next
  • if nope, thankyou anyways
  • <3
4

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Comments1.6K

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floh555's avatar
Thanks so much for the faves lll:-)
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PermanentlyExhausted's avatar
PermanentlyExhausted|Hobbyist General Artist
thankyou too : )
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zemoto's avatar
zemoto|Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for the :+fav:
vielen Dank!
:)
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PermanentlyExhausted's avatar
PermanentlyExhausted|Hobbyist General Artist
so welcome : )
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Camille-Ramond's avatar
Camille-Ramond|Hobbyist Photographer
           Thank you for +fav ! ^^ 

--------------------------------------------

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PermanentlyExhausted's avatar
PermanentlyExhausted|Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
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kleinerteddy's avatar
kleinerteddy|Hobbyist Photographer
  
            thank you 4 fave   Emoticon Love by jonthewookie
  
       Hope by kleinerteddy
  
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