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PenumbralWolf

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296 Watchers50.7K Page Views1.1K Deviations
Artist // Hobbyist // Digital Art
  • Oct 10, 1998
  • United States
  • Deviant for 8 years
  • She / Her
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Just a little thing I wanted to write, though I'm usually not on here anymore. I get that some people might hate me, since I'm sure plenty of people have demonized me in AU and HS alike. I don't think I really care, though. I'm done with letting people rule my life. It's my life, and others have no right to tell me how I actually feel, or how I should feel. They don't get to decide for me if something I went through was bad or not. Being told not to worry about it? Having it implied that you're always in the wrong for speaking out? Being demonized for fighting for what is right? For fighting against what is wrong? I am done with it. I do think I have grown from things that temporarily broke me, especially with what happened in HS and AU. Both atmospheres were oppressive ones that wanted to silence the dissenters. Dissent and criticism is how you grow, but I have only seen it met with alienation from a community. Quite frankly, I've stopped taking people's shit and have learned to
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I have hardly been on deviantART because of the Havensake drama. How could I remain in a place where there was so much betrayal? I am not writing this journal to start shit; I am writing it because this may be my only way to process my feelings. For a while, I understood what the admins had done to me. It would take me awhile to forgive them, yes, but I didn’t have this rage coalescing into one giant mess. I let people believe that I stepped down instead of being kicked from the mod team. My first warning was for venting in the public chat about how people were attacking Ignacia, and I do understand to a degree, but I also do not understand holding me to that months and months later. The only warning I fully agree with is the second one, where I said some awful things to Crow. While I didn’t mean to hurt him, I did, and I admit that I deserved that warning. But the third one is the one I had a problem with, and I still kind of do. I have had time to process things, and I think it is
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I have left HS. I can probably write out a lengthier journal at some point; I just don't want to spend more time thinking about the group than I have to. I will tag people most likely, but yeah. I hope you guys understand. I need to move on from the anguish and distress that TGB and HS have afflicted. I probably won't be on dA much anymore except for Souls-Between stuff.
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