PennedinWhite's avatar
When insanity dies, so do we all
282 Watchers52.2K Page Views365 Deviations

For the Camera

Empty Whiskey Bottles

E

Empty Whiskey Bottles

He found me rocking back and forth in our bedroom closet, silent tears soaking my jeans. My heart was breaking. The man I loved, and who was supposed to love me, was manipulating my world to serve his selfish desires. I was being shoved aside as I began to fight against his words and actions; questioning the purpose he felt he was fulfilling. The ring I wore had lost its luster a long time ago, but I had only just noticed its darkness. A twenty year old had crept between us, having “stolen his heart”. I needed to let go; to move forward with my life. He represented all the pain in my life as he milked my innocence and young naivety. Someone else had taken my place as I grew into an independent young woman; the high school girl craving attention had grown up beyond his reach. “Shara...” he whispered, emotionless. I chose to ignore his presence, for now and as long as I could muster. Resentment rumbled from the depths and reared its head at the man who was my husband on paper, if you

Wanderer of Violet Skies

W

Wanderer of Violet Skies

Beneath the dancing galaxies, she walked the path of forgotten worlds. The lingering mist sang their songs no longer heard by mortal ears. A simple traveler and her winged companion, now exploring the universe’s planets, moons, and stars. Retracing the steps of the lost civilizations, she knew they could not be brought back, but she could preserve their deteriorating legacies. The war had wiped out so many, and she couldn’t help but to feel responsible for their extinction. She could’ve stopped it; ended the war and corruption, but the adrenaline of battle was intoxicating. She was created by the bloodshed, but meant for pe

Leave Me Alone

L

Leave Me Alone

Since that night you sat on the stairs in the basement, I think about you watching my innocence float away. You could have prevented it, tried to stop it, but you chose to remain in the shadows. The lies you spat out to attempt to save yourself, revealed the truth of your mind’s sick desires. You shattered me and disseminated the pieces, sending them beyond my memory’s reach. As you invade my thoughts with your face and words, I will drug the nightmares with alcohol and pills. There is no excuse for your vile actions, or lack there of, as you kill my soul one dream at a time.

Deliverance

D

Deliverance

Existing at the mouth of obscurity; disoriented and misplaced by your fickle exploitation as prevailing gales usher my liberation and acknowledge me as a woman redeemed from ashes. I battled for every inch gained beyond your insolence; no longer a forgiving hostage of perpetual manipulation. Renewing a life in the midst of immoral confinement, to save a mind now flawed as it counters your hysteria. At last, you have departed my punished subconsciousness, leaving behind a marred courage, eternally revived. The domination that annihilated my faith has ignited a persistence unrivaled by your miserable life.

Please Don't Cry, My Love

P

Please Don't Cry, My Love

It shattered my heart to see him cry. He was my rock, but now it was my turn and I didn't know where to start. He trusted her promise of true friendship and she betrayed him, dropping him in the midst of his worst fear. It broke him and I couldn't fix it. He loved me, something I never doubted and never will. She held his heart in a specific way; a replacement for something not realized, and he lost it all again. It broke him and I couldn't fix it. And yet, I will remain - my Love.

Cup of Coffee

Meeting Hope

M

Meeting Hope

Intense images flashed behind my eyes; dreams of what had been, and what things were to come. And yet, I could not see myself as I stood in front of the mirror. They said I was crazed, and perhaps I was, but I could not tell for sure. There was an battle raging for control of my mind, and I was not sure on where I stood in the midst of it all. It was a tug-of-war. I was being pulled back and forth through the mud; going from one side to the other. They were both me, and I unfortunately knew them both all too well, as the fought for my consciousness. The euphoria, or what I believed it to be, pulled at my legs. The dolor of my thoughts yanked

Beginning of You

B

Beginning of You

You would be a terrible mom. My bare feet stuck to the linoleum as I paced back and forth in the bathroom. Panic was in full bloom, or perhaps it was the anxiety of the unknown. This was a test of will; days of waiting to confirm what I already presumed to be true, were tormenting. Empty boxes littered the floor, proof of my determined perseverance, I wanted it to happen. It had to happen and needed to happen. Then it did, two blue lines. Leaning against the counter, I tried to process what I was seeing; was this real? The first of five the past three days, and I was not sure if it was wishful thinking, or fear. Tossing the pee-stick into t

Forgotten Footprints

F

Forgotten Footprints

Haphazard wanderings through world mazes; a covenant, a quest for absent memories of seasons long dead - forgotten in the thrum of the eternal nothingness of my dying life. I weep from what has been retained - indestructible impressions on the undying; a soul branded with symbols of who I am and what I have ultimately become - lost. By my side, you walk as if you care enough to join in the battle for simple fragments - pieces floating aimlessly in the void between; I am just pretend, and always will be alone. Locked away in scattered mental chests, fragile thoughts of the past, purposefully hidden; only released by the remembered. For m
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For the Camera

Leave Me Alone

L

Leave Me Alone

Since that night you sat on the stairs in the basement, I think about you watching my innocence float away. You could have prevented it, tried to stop it, but you chose to remain in the shadows. The lies you spat out to attempt to save yourself, revealed the truth of your mind’s sick desires. You shattered me and disseminated the pieces, sending them beyond my memory’s reach. As you invade my thoughts with your face and words, I will drug the nightmares with alcohol and pills. There is no excuse for your vile actions, or lack there of, as you kill my soul one dream at a time.

Empty Whiskey Bottles

E

Empty Whiskey Bottles

He found me rocking back and forth in our bedroom closet, silent tears soaking my jeans. My heart was breaking. The man I loved, and who was supposed to love me, was manipulating my world to serve his selfish desires. I was being shoved aside as I began to fight against his words and actions; questioning the purpose he felt he was fulfilling. The ring I wore had lost its luster a long time ago, but I had only just noticed its darkness. A twenty year old had crept between us, having “stolen his heart”. I needed to let go; to move forward with my life. He represented all the pain in my life as he milked my innocence and young naivety. Someone else had taken my place as I grew into an independent young woman; the high school girl craving attention had grown up beyond his reach. “Shara...” he whispered, emotionless. I chose to ignore his presence, for now and as long as I could muster. Resentment rumbled from the depths and reared its head at the man who was my husband on paper, if you

Plastic Cup of Spiced Rum

Wanderer of Violet Skies

W

Wanderer of Violet Skies

Beneath the dancing galaxies, she walked the path of forgotten worlds. The lingering mist sang their songs no longer heard by mortal ears. A simple traveler and her winged companion, now exploring the universe’s planets, moons, and stars. Retracing the steps of the lost civilizations, she knew they could not be brought back, but she could preserve their deteriorating legacies. The war had wiped out so many, and she couldn’t help but to feel responsible for their extinction. She could’ve stopped it; ended the war and corruption, but the adrenaline of battle was intoxicating. She was created by the bloodshed, but meant for pe

Deliverance

D

Deliverance

Existing at the mouth of obscurity; disoriented and misplaced by your fickle exploitation as prevailing gales usher my liberation and acknowledge me as a woman redeemed from ashes. I battled for every inch gained beyond your insolence; no longer a forgiving hostage of perpetual manipulation. Renewing a life in the midst of immoral confinement, to save a mind now flawed as it counters your hysteria. At last, you have departed my punished subconsciousness, leaving behind a marred courage, eternally revived. The domination that annihilated my faith has ignited a persistence unrivaled by your miserable life.

Please Don't Cry, My Love

P

Please Don't Cry, My Love

It shattered my heart to see him cry. He was my rock, but now it was my turn and I didn't know where to start. He trusted her promise of true friendship and she betrayed him, dropping him in the midst of his worst fear. It broke him and I couldn't fix it. He loved me, something I never doubted and never will. She held his heart in a specific way; a replacement for something not realized, and he lost it all again. It broke him and I couldn't fix it. And yet, I will remain - my Love.

Cup of Coffee

Meeting Hope

M

Meeting Hope

Intense images flashed behind my eyes; dreams of what had been, and what things were to come. And yet, I could not see myself as I stood in front of the mirror. They said I was crazed, and perhaps I was, but I could not tell for sure. There was an battle raging for control of my mind, and I was not sure on where I stood in the midst of it all. It was a tug-of-war. I was being pulled back and forth through the mud; going from one side to the other. They were both me, and I unfortunately knew them both all too well, as the fought for my consciousness. The euphoria, or what I believed it to be, pulled at my legs. The dolor of my thoughts yanked

Beginning of You

B

Beginning of You

You would be a terrible mom. My bare feet stuck to the linoleum as I paced back and forth in the bathroom. Panic was in full bloom, or perhaps it was the anxiety of the unknown. This was a test of will; days of waiting to confirm what I already presumed to be true, were tormenting. Empty boxes littered the floor, proof of my determined perseverance, I wanted it to happen. It had to happen and needed to happen. Then it did, two blue lines. Leaning against the counter, I tried to process what I was seeing; was this real? The first of five the past three days, and I was not sure if it was wishful thinking, or fear. Tossing the pee-stick into t

Spotlight

Beginning of You

B

Beginning of You

You would be a terrible mom. My bare feet stuck to the linoleum as I paced back and forth in the bathroom. Panic was in full bloom, or perhaps it was the anxiety of the unknown. This was a test of will; days of waiting to confirm what I already presumed to be true, were tormenting. Empty boxes littered the floor, proof of my determined perseverance, I wanted it to happen. It had to happen and needed to happen. Then it did, two blue lines. Leaning against the counter, I tried to process what I was seeing; was this real? The first of five the past three days, and I was not sure if it was wishful thinking, or fear. Tossing the pee-stick into t
53Comments

Spotlight

The Little Story Time Traveler

T

The Little Story Time Traveler

“Breakfast!” A woman’s voice hollered from downstairs. Blue eyes peeked out of the box; he was not hungry. Besides, adventure was calling and Teddy was looking at him expectantly. Giving his red plaid bow-tie a quick wiggle, he grinned. Teddy was winning the argument and the call of the box was impossible to resist. He snatched his tweed jacket from the cardboard console and whipped it over his shoulder. “Breakfast can wait,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. In one fluid motion, he threw the lever and then tossed backwards. His jacket flew from his hand out of sight as he tried to catch himself. Teddy had al
35Comments

Spotlight

Cheap Vodka

C

Cheap Vodka

Aaron was gulping down his anger with cheap vodka, hiding from the world to drown in his self-induced sorrows. It was a routine, at times – fighting then drinking, drinking then fighting. It was as if he wanted it to happen. Today was no different, and the tears that ran down my face were a testament to how the day had gone. I had been beaten down by resentment; disgraced for having an opinion. I knew, at this moment, he hated me. And yet, I loved him. Don’t ask me how or why, but I did, and I wanted to marry him for some god-forsaken reason. We had been together for over two years, and I felt it was time to make that commitment.
87Comments
R

Riverdaughter's Daughter

Barosus is a merry frog in who lives by springs of water Like Bombadil of old he sings to the river’s daughter He wears no gaudy coat of blue, nor any boots of yellow But in the misty vale he dwells, a happy froggy fellow Of misty hills, of ponds and rills, and frogs in lily water Fairest sun and softest rain with skillful words he brought her Elm, and ash and poplar fair, all drink the river’s waters But fairest far of all the trees was oak's enchanted daughter And she delights to warm his heart, with acorn bells a ringing When moonlight gilds the tranquil vale, you can hear him singing So sing along, in jolly song, o polywogs a
85Comments
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Discord: pennedinwhite#3103

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Just a little update for you all...my Little Time Traveler has a new story and it is going to be published!
As of this upcoming Sunday, my husband will no longer be with the company he has been with for 11.5 years (Starbucks). It is his choice (our choice), not because he was let go or anything. He is getting a severance package of sorts as well, so we ar

How do I say this...

How do I say this...

...without sounds permanent. Hi Friends, First, I want to say - I appreciate every single one of you. As we have come to know each other over the months or years, I can't imagine having known such a great community of people. You are all amazing and will do, or continue to do, fantastic things going forward. :heart: With that said, I wanted to let you all know, I have made the difficult decision to start migrating my work off of DA. Opportunities have presented themselves, and I want to start focusing on writing for publication. (It has been 9 years since I last had anything published). Whether it is my Flash Fiction, Short Stories, or hopefully a novel or two, I want to give myself the best head start I can. This process will take awhile, so don't expect everything to disappear all at once. :) With that, my time here will also be reduced drastically - not that I have been around much on the site lately anyways... I don't usually say much when I am around, and the lack of my

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Thanks for the :+fav: on the latest journal!

Hello. Just wanted to let you know that I'm closing my account and moving to a new one. The name is:

JCSolis-Lit

https://www.deviantart.com/jcsolis-lit. Hope to see you there.

Thanks for the fav. 

You are most welcome! :heart:

happy birthday!
hope you had a good one & that you are doing well :heart: