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so apparently my old stuff was good so i'm talking all the writing out of cryogenics for you all
I regret to inform you that all literature on site has been removed due to extremely high quantities of suck new and perhaps better deviations may be submitted eventually,

                  Sincerely and with deepest regrets
                  Ben Slightom
                  chairman of the Board and CEO of Deviation
                  cleanup & artist in question

the artist has been detained for interrogation and water boarding involving submitted art
To whom it may concern,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when you cuffed me outside of chicago and I saw you sit on my avocado plant. I'm sure you're frostbit enough to understand how awful i've felt. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about eggplant-fetishism.

Go burn,
Ben Slightom
(you know who you are)


This madness stops here->]
"Hey you want some unicorn horn?" is getting to be a pretty common question, i mean its not illegal, it has no adverse side effects, and it works just like any other drug. What's the harm in taking just a little?
       well i'll tell you the problem, the people who procure the horn are brutal, did you know that most horse meat is in fact Unicorn meat labeled as horse? well i did some research and it turns out that the amount of "free range" unicorn to mercilessly hunted and butchered unicorns is 1:20,000? i find this to be a severe issue considering that a unicorn can score a 270 on an IQ test WITHOUT TRYING! so we go and chase after Unicorns and once we catch it we break it's legs and load it into the back of a van, to keep the horn nice and fresh, and the thing has to watch as we saw off it's horn and toss it into a pile ready to go straight to processing. it is then trucked over to a plant where we unload it and snap its neck, it's corpse is then skinned and it's hide turned into bulletproof vests. we hang its dripping corpse from meathooks and gut it, making sure to keep all the entrails for offal, it is then dripped dry its black blood is then used to cure the meat and then the excess is used as painkiller. the meat is sent to be cut into the different grades and types such as unicorn rib, unicorn porterhouse, unicorn ribeye, and so on. this process happens so often that the unicorn population in America in 1996 was approximately 2 million, in 2006 there where less than 1 million, thats over half gone in just 10 years so I ask the question, what is going to happen when in 2016 there are no more unicorns? hey you want some narwhal horn?
if you translate "Man is a wolf unto man" from English to Latin, the Latin is "Homo Homini Lupus Homini";
but if you translate "Man is a wolf unto man" from Latin to English you get "A Man is keep a wolf from the manna"

Not even joking.
So many things left undone
so few days left to do them in
i only hope, as young as i may be
that when i die I've done something thats duly noted
and remembered, but so many of us wish that
how many actually get the chance to have success?
I am dead to you
My insides are frozen
My heart is covered in a frosty glaze
The red that once lived in my lips
Is now replaced by this cold black
You have drained the life out of my being
My very breath shivers with the chill of this sadness
As my breaths leave me they mist in my chill
A droplet of water hangs from the ceiling
And freezes as it falls
It shatters in two when it hits the floor
My heart did the same when you left me here
The frost crawls along the floor
I watch it coming nearer crackling with its growth
The frost touches my finger
Travelling up my pale skin
I am slowly covered by this deep chill
As the frost glazes my eyes shut
I finally smile


Journal Entry: Tue May 18, 2010, 6:38 PM

My name is Tessamaine, but you can call me Tessa. I go to a normal school, have normal friends and try to have a usually normal life. But I have a secret, since birth I’ve been trained to kill zombies. Now I know what your thinking
“BRAINS!” I’m right aren’t I. it’s not that kind of Zombie, it’s an I’m-going-to-take-over-your- brain-and-turn-you-into-a-zombie, in other words the undead virus. My parents were zombie hunters, and so were their parents, and their parents, and their parents, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

"Run!" she called after me.
   "what IS that thing!?" i called back.
   "JUST EFFING RUN!" she yelled, as she pulled the top off her umbrella to reveal a rapier.
   so i ran, and never looked back.

   it's been a month since i ran for my life; yet i can only wonder what happened to her. she normally returns in a day or 2. so ,as you can imagine, i paced. the sunlight slowly shifted positions as the sun slowly sank lower in the sky. there was a knock on my door at 3 p.m. i opened the door slowly.
   "ERICA!" i cried and she fainted in my arms.
   "is she okay doc?"
   "let me FINISH FJIRST!!!"
   "well besides a strange bite on her leg, she's okay."
   "so she can leave soon?"
   "well i need her to stay tonight, but tommorow she can."
   the dial on my watch read 1:26 when i heard a rustle.
   "what are you doing?"
   "but the doc said not to leave until tommorow!"
   "it IS tommorow!'
   "good point."

   The front door opened and leaked the yellowish light of the streetlights into the hall. Erica picked up her umbrella from where it fell and placed it into the stand.
   "see you later." erica said
   "yeah." i replied equally tired.

   "morning!" erica said cheerily.
   "morning" i said yawning.
   "come on! we gotta get to the board meeting!"
   "okay okay!" we walked into the kitchen and erica opened the fridge; she pushed a small button on the back wall.
   "please prepare for transport" the fridge said. blue rings ascended from the floor where we were standing. after a bright blue flash we stood on Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai.  before us towered the Burj Dubai (Dubai Towers). Once inside the unfinished building, we took the SUPER fast elevator to floor 161 of 162. the elevator opened onto a tiny white office space with an old and fat receptionist.
   "Yeees?" she said in a voice like a squeaky door.
   "HI! were here for the "secret" board meeting." said erica.
   "and your names?"
   "Erica Schneider, and Ben Slightom, Secratary understudies of "The Art of Fighting" by T.J. Wilson."
   "Go on in"

   "Take your seats please! Thank you!" said the chairman of the board. "first matter of buisness. congrajulations to Jorge francis on his succesful sealing of portal 48." everyone clapped while he stood and took a deep bow."now, a new enemy has been sited" he picked up a black dry erase marker and set it on the board."now" he said turning back around while the marker started drawing. "please note that this enemy is extremely dangerous, and should be regarded with the most delicate care; any sightings should be reported immediately" the marker dropped, having completed its task, and i gasped.
    "so thats what attacked us!"
    "you've seen it?"
    "yeah, on our way home last night, it attacked us."
    "and your not dead!!??"
    "no Erica fought it off."
    "with what!" scoffed Jorge. erica flung out her rapier and said, "would you like me to show you how it died?" she asked
    "why not?" asked Jorge
    "because I wouldnt permit it" said the chairman. i just sat there and gave erica a rather bewildered stare.

    the view from the top of this puny planet, this insignificant world. i crept around the top of the tower and saw a human. mmmmm, delicious. i jumped at him and fed.
    I felt the wind wip through my hair as i stood atop the Burj Dubai. the view was amazing, hell i could see into the next GALAXY if i had wanted to. i heard the door open and erica joined me on the railing.
    "have you ever thought of jumping?" she asked.
Take the leap
let the world know
you're not afraid
stand up for what's right
don't be everyone
when everyone is you
take the stand
make a point
a phrase
a thought
us and them
we're oh so different
we are standing
they are sitting
so take the leap
the fatal plunge
emerge the victor
give them hope
stand up for what's right
even if you stand alone
when they realize they were wrong
they'll take the fatal plunge...