To whom it may concern,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when you cuffed me outside of chicago and I saw you sit on my avocado plant. I'm sure you're frostbit enough to understand how awful i've felt. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about eggplant-fetishism.
Go burn,
Ben Slightom
(you know who you are)
I TAG
This madness stops here->]