Oakentoon #116: The Defining Chapter - part 1

ABOUT THIS OAKENTOON

In collaboration with thorinoakenshield.net and



... who supplied me with the accurately bitter "Spot 10 differences" headers as well as "There's a book?" joke, which I've also used before:



Sorry, but I'm trying to get all these cynical ideas out of my head...

Share your woes with me if your heart was broken by "The Battle of the Five Armies" like mine was:

  Where is the hand on the harpstring ...Dear Oakenlovers,
Please excuse Your Humble Owl for adding a spoon of wood tar into the barrel of honey dripping throughout the Internet on how wonderful the last “Hobbit” movie was. For me, it was a disaster. Harsh as this statement may seem, my heart was broken and defiled. You know I’m not some dumb Middle-Earth hater. I loved “The Lord of the Rings” and I can honestly say I really enjoyed the first two “Hobbit” movies. The Oakentoons were one of the outcomes of my very profound attachment to what I’ve read and seen so far. Sure, I did have a lot of fun mocking the plot and the characters, but I’ve never set the bar of humor low enough for anyone to feel hurt or affronted (I hope). But last night, after seeing “The Battle of the Five Armies” - the movie I had very high expectations for, especially after seeing the trailer - all my hopes turned into a worst kind of nightmare – a cruel joke made out of everything

Please note that it's not my goal to make you hate BOTFA. It's just my way of dealing with my disappointments - through humor, I hope.

P.S. Poor Theoden. They just won't let him be... Worse than the Valentoons, this is.
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Images from "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy by Peter Jackson / New Line Cinema (2001-2003) and "The Hobbit. The Battle of the Five Armies" by Peter Jackson / Warner Bros / MGM (2014).