In the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I've bought a big fresh turkey and a real Christmas tree
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird
On the third day of Christmas people came from just next door
The turkey tasted just as good as it had done before
On the fourth day of Christmas came relations young and old
We finished up the Christmas pud, and had the turkey cold
On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes scurried
But we were nice and warm inside, and had the turkey curried
On the sixth day of Christmas, the Christmas spirit died
The children fought and bickered - we had the turkey rissoles fried
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love she did wince
When she sat down at table - and was offered turkey mince
On the eighth day of Christmas, the dog had run for shelter,
For he'd seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka-Seltzer!
On the ninth day of Christmas, by lunchtime Dad was blotto,
He knew that bird was back again, this time as risotto.
On the tenth day of Christmas we were drinking home-made brew
Anything to help us face that steaming turkey stew
On the eleventh day of Christmas our lovely tree was moulting
And with chilli, soy and oyster sauce, the turkey was revolting!
On the twelfth day of Christmas we had smiles back on our lips,
The guests had gone, the turkey too - WE DINED ON FISH AND CHIPS!