Hi, I just wanted to say I'm leaving da, probably for good because I need to focus on my self care. I'm doing fine, not suicidal or anything and I don't want to talk about it or anything. I just think that this is a toxic site, full of a lot of toxic people, and it isn't doing anything for my mental health. In fact I think since joining this site I've taken giant steps BACK, and it isn't fair to me, my boyfriend, or my family to let me continue to hurt myself by staying here. I joined this website to post my art and learn things from people, not to receive massive amounts of hate and rejection, and the disgusting way people on here justify bullying and blind hatred is just..awful. I've taken on a much more pessimistic world view, and this past year I've become more and more anxious and negative and upset and defensive, and it isn't how I am really and I don't like it. I don't like how..I guess...self loathing and anxious I've become this past year. And it isn't fair to my caregiver, who can't take care of me if I'm actively putting myself in harms way! I don't wanna stew in this stinky soup anymore lol. And I don't need to be. All the feedback on my art in the world isn't worth hindering my healing. in I need some time to focus on my real life and what's important to me. My mental and emotional health needs to be better taken care of by me. I met some great people on here and got to see some incredible art, but I think it's time I move on. I don't think I'll deactivate in case I loose my art somehow then I'll have them backed up here. But I'm not going to post anything anymore or anything. The thing is I want to move on and get better, and being tied to this account even thats received so much hate and rejection is hard for me. I'm obviously a very sensitive little girl, and that's normally fine. But I'm not able to laugh at cyber bullying and stuff like others are.
but that will change. I want to get stronger! Not weaker ! I think having my friend commit suicide because of online bullying and predators (specifically the Anti-CG/L community-they have driven lots of people to suicide unfortunately ) finally showed me that my mental health isn't worth risking. I've done nothing wrong but be myself, but clearly that is enough for some people to treat you like shit lol. So! Im gonna be gone, but
im going to be fine! I'm not good about self control, so I'm going to get up the courage to ask my boyfriend (BatmanArkhamAwsom
) to change my password.