Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the First two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For Those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major Portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an Inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I Happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions To the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other Two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy And, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could Remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the Flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Indians are crazy.
CURRY # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.
CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those charos!
CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone ice cream.
CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report
49 Comments9K Views
leaving + birthday
my time on dA has been limited lately... with good reason. there are more important things in my life right now. i will still stop by to read comments on occasion. if you'd like a crit on a specific piece, then you can drop me a note with a link to it. otherwise, i'm pretty much select-all+removing the stuff in my watch. i simply can't keep up with it all. for those that need me personally, i'm often available on msn/yahoo messenger. on a lighter note, it's my b-day tomorrow. :w00t: big shout-out my cancerian bro, Dark-Defiler (https://www.deviantart.com/dark-defiler), whose b-day it will be on thursday. ;)
my great x8 grandfather
D. Pedro II, rei de Portugal :below: D. Miguel de Bragança :below: D. João Carlos de Bragança e Ligne de Sousa Tavares Mascarenhas da Silva, 2º duque de Lafões :below: D. Ana Maria de Bragança e Ligne de Sousa Tavares Mascarenhas da Silva, 3ª duquesa de Lafões :below: D. Ana da Piedade de Bragança Melo e Ligne Sousa Tavares Mascarenhas da Silva :below: D. José Maria Gonçalves Zarco da Camara, 9º conde da Ribeira Grande :below: D. Maria José Gonçalves Zarco da Camara :below: Maria Henriqueta da Camara Viterbo :below: Francisco Paulo Viterbo Menano (my grand
face of desperation
i won't go into details, as it was my brother that got mugged, but after chasing the guy down i found myself face-to-face with him... he couldn't have been more than a late-teen. scrawny. bald. missing front teeth. his eyes were wild, he was shaking like an animal that had just been hit by a car. the reality of his motives and emotions hit me like a brick wall and in that moment my heart sank. how do things get that bad? how to things get to the point where you threaten someone with a knife when the thought of actually stabbing them goes against every good fibre of your being? in the end he got away, dropping half of what he'd taken. whe
منتديات منتديات ليبية غرائب وحقائق أحاديث شريفة برامج اسلامية للجوال مفاتيح الل الشيرنج الرسيفرات كتب إسلامية خلفيات للموبيل الشعر الشعبي الصحة والطب طب اسنان كتب طب اسنان مجانية برامج طبية تعلم الإنكليزية اللغة الفرنسية طب الإعشاب الخواطرالادبية الازياء والمكياج تعليم الطبخ الاثاث الحديث مقاطع كرة قدم المصارعه الحرة اهداف كوره الفوتوشوب اروع البرامج الدوري الليبي خلفيات رياضية المصارعة كورة عربية كرة قدم عالمية الدوري الإيطالي الدوري الاسباني الدوري الإنجليزي صور المشاهير انواع الحلويات افلام كوميدية احدث الافلام افلام التقنية تحميل افلام برامج اخر برامج الجوال أفلام كرتون عربية برامج برامج كمبيوتر برامج حماية برامج اختراق برامج صوت برامج تحميل برامج احدث البرامج محادثة خلفيات الطبيعة برامج مبايل للتحميل اخبار الفن احدث الافلام للتحميل تحميل افلام رعب ترجمةأفلام الكامات برامج جوال برامج محاسبة برامج برامج برامج انترنت برامج صوتية شبكات الحاسوب خلفيات للويندوز تطويرالمواقع العاب العاب الفيديوdizi izle mirc lahana çorbası hoodia hap lida saat tala sipariş Solea, Fx15, Hoodia sivilce yok edici sivirce akne zayıflama yöntemleri güzellik sitesi güzellik kremleri güzellik yöntemleri Cabbagepow