Will it pass though............ I mean seriously...... Will it pass ?!!!
My father slipped away from me on July 10th at 10:30 pm and i feel like i'm still standing there over his bed closing his eyes for the last time and holding his jaw shut once he was gone so his body wouldn't have that "scared" look about it as my grandmother looked on in horror as her second son was taken away from her. My heart seemed to miss a beat and my breathing stopped with his until well......there was no more breaths. Tearfully recalling this may seem macabre to some, but it seems to be cathartic to me. And well, .... therapy is not in my budget right now, so i apologize for those of you who feel compelled to continue on.!
This man had the soul and spirit of many. During the flooding of the North Shore by the Katrina Storm of 2005, he ventured out to check on his neighbors and to his surprise, had to rescue many of them from their rooftops and miscellaneous yard adornments and yes, even some from trees. Even after he broke his prosthetic leg, which he just threw in the boat, he continued to paddle onto his neighbors homes until he was exhausted and felt that everyone was safe. It was weeks before he was able to get a replacement for his prosthetic leg. In the meantime, duct-tape and various homemade splints kept it in action. At the cost of his own home not being repaired, he helped his sister, mother and all of his neighbors clean the mud and rubbage out of their homes to regain normalcy after the water receeded.
This was only one event that showed the caring and compassion of this man. My father would help any man or woman as i have witnessed growing up with him. I would ask "Daddy - do you know that man"? To which he would answer, "No son". After my line of unending questioning about why he gave him money, food or even a beer, he would tell me that God wants us to take care of our fellow man and that means feeding them when you pass them on the street and they are hungry. Occasionally, that even means giving them a beer when they are thirsty !
I have tried to carry on his mission , but have fallen woefully short of my fathers deeds. All i can do is to continue to try.
When will this feeling that churns my gut and makes me nauseaus go away though. Everytime i think about the times we spent fishing and talking about life and how to treat your fellow man, i tear up.
I miss my daddy like nobodies business..................
When will it pass .............. When ?