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Yeah I did a thing. I seriously thought about trying to draw a picture of what my OC Reila would look like but I. Can't. Draw.

Like my stick figures look massively out of proportion. How does that happen?!

So instead I found an avatar maker. Game is made by Rinmaru, art is by PrinceofRedroses. And I think it turned out fairly well!

Reila Doll by Panda-chan31

I'm probably also going to make one of Hojo and her uncle Sota, but I haven't really decided yet. But hey at least I have a somewhat visual to work with!
  • Watching: Yu Gi Oh
  • Eating: Pocky
  • Drinking: Sprite
Is it really so hard to understand that not everyone likes certain pairings in fanfiction? And when a writer or any other artists says their not taking requests, that means they're not. Taking. Requests. Am I right?

For example; a reader sent me a PM on Now I love getting messages, I really do. I love talking to people who read my stories, heck even people that don't read my stories. I'm a fairly social person most of the time. And I love talking about favorite pairings, plot points, etc. Anything nerdy I'm down to discuss it.

I'm trying not to sound negative about this person, I really am. But firstly, she read the first chapter of my story Monachopsis and... She thought that I'd killed of Mokuba, which confused me. No canon characters were even mentioned in the first chapter. But then I reread her message and realized that she hadn't even read the entire chapter. She said she wasn't really interested in the story but it seemed decent (well I took that as a compliment so whatever). She also wanted to know what pairings I liked to write or read about.

Putting aside the fact that she blatantly told me she didn't like my story enough to read it, I answered her honestly; that I tend to gravitate more towards canon characters/OC pairings, with the exception of the fact that I ship Tristan/Serenity and Joey/Mai. She responded that she loves the Serenity/Seto pairing and enjoys Seto/Mokuba fics too. (I'm assuming she meant like non-sexual Set/Mokuba fics because the other option is just... No please.)

Now a little background, I have NEVER been a Seto/Serenity fan. It's just... It doesn't make any sense to me. Some people do enjoy it and that's perfectly fine - go on with your bad selves. Not everyone like the same pairing. But she seemed so offended that I said the pairing didn't make sense to me, and wanted to know what about it didn't make sense.

Now if you ask me to explain myself on a point of view that I have, I'll give it to you - nothing held back. Because at that point you're asking for my honest opinion which I am more than happy to deliver on. My response was, and I quote:

"Seto/Serenity just... I don't know, it seems a little impractical to me. I suppose there's the appeal since Seto and Joey don't get along of Serenity being the peace keeper between the two, but I personally feel that their personalities are too different to make a good pairing. I'm not saying I'm totally against it, I know plenty of people who ship them together and if it makes people happy to read it then that's what's important. Just because it's not my favorite doesn't mean I put it down, because you're right everyone has their preferences and that's the beauty of fanfiction; you can meet people who share your interests and have fun reading/writing about what it is you like."

Apparently that wasn't enough, because she carried on about how people change, how Serenity could change Seto, and Seto would eventually start to show affection "just like Vegeta did in DBZ".

Now I grew up watching DBZ - granted I haven't watched it in a long time, but there's a huge difference between letting go of your anger and a complete personality change. And what she was describing sounded an awful lot like a drastic personality change equivalent to a lobotomy. I do not recall one time that Vegeta showed open affection without there being something to gain from it - like the time he hugged Trunks just before he knocked his ass out and got him out of danger.

Again to each their own, but this girl was pushing so hard to get me to get into Seto/Serenity because it's "such a popular pairing, probably the most popular Seto pairing there is" for one reason and one reason alone; she wanted to request a one shot with that pairing. Even after I'd already told her that I'm not accepting requests right now because Monachopsis is my primary focus and I don't want to lose momentum once I've got it going.

Do I think I was wrong to point out the flaws in her logic? Maybe under normal circumstances yes but on the other hand, she kept pushing and pushing and refusing to give up until I HAD to be mean about it to get her to drop it. I could have ignored her messages yes but I wanted to stop it all together and basically get her to give up, which I did. I don't like being a mean person, but push me too far and that is what's going to happen.
  • Listening to: Vermillion Pt. 2 - Slipknot
  • Watching: Yu Gi Oh
  • Eating: Pocky
  • Drinking: Sprite
Scrap that, I can totally believe that I did that. I've been working overtime at my job lately because one person got himself fired for showing up to work drunk (SERIOUSLY?!) and got fired, and then our sergeant (think assistant manager, that's the basic equivalent) put in his two weeks notice and now things are all sorts of messed up. Take for instance, this weekend I'll be the acting sergeant for four hours.

It's been years since I was acting supervisor.

Thankfully the two people who will be working with me aren't completely brainless. They're just still very new to the site we all work security at and still have a lot to learn. I mean come on, I've been there 2 years now and I'm still learning things about it.

I'm not too worried honestly, but add into the mix the fact that I think I caught sinusitis from my dad and I'm not exactly a happy camper. But by agreeing to be acting supervisor for 4 hours, I get sergeant pay which is more than I normally make and I'll be getting OT.

Panda likes money, especially since I just bought tickets for the upcoming Slipknot/Marilyn Manson tour that will be here in June! I bought the tickets for my friend and her fiance too, as an early wedding/birthday/Christmas gift. 

So yeah, for those who have read Monachopsis those are the reasons for the delays. Now I'm going to try and get some writing for chapter six done because I still haven't gotten it finished and time's running out. I've got two weeks before it's due... Oops!
... You realize that you have to re-write an entire chapter. Seriously I thought I had chapter 6 of Monachopsis already finished and ready for when I submit it, and the more I look at it the more I think "Ugh this is such crap."

The only part I liked in it was the dialogue between two of the characters, one who is a canon character and the other my OC, Reila. But the more I read it the more I realized that it didn't fit. I severely underestimated the intelligence of one character and it just doesn't sit right with me. I mean yes I think I captured his devious side well enough, but sometimes I forget that for a "children's show" the characters from Yu-Gi-Oh are surprisingly complex and deep.

Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Either way, I'm going to be re-writing the entirety of chapter 6. And since I'm sticking to a weekly update schedule, that gives me roughly a month to get it done and ready. Not too bad really, but still I wish that the first draft had worked out. But the little plot fairies in my head keep pestering me about how it's... Choppy and not well thought out. Thankfully, said fairies have already given me a new idea that should hopefully work out better than the first. 

On a side note, I had someone message me on and their comments let me... Puzzled. She stated that she thought it was sad that I had killed off Mokuba. Keep in mind, no canon characters are even mentioned in the first chapter. She was very understanding when I pointed out the mistake though, and we had a rather in depth conversation about commonly shipped characters. She's a SetoxSerenity fan and I believe she was going to ask if she could request a one shot with that pairing. I however don't ship that pairing at all, as there are way too many things wrong with it in my personal opinion. I tried to be nice since it seems that's her OTP, but it was hard not to point out everything wrong with it. 

I guess I feel bad about bashing someone's OTP, but if my opinion is asked for it shall be given regardless of personal feelings.
This would have been so much easier if there was a "remove all traces of me being an immature little twit" button. 

Anywho moving on... Panda-chan is back in the fic writing game! No more yaoi writing, sorry for all those who were thinking I would eventually come around to it again. I just can't really bring myself to write it anymore. It's not that I'm against it or anything, it's just not my preferred writing area anymore.

This time around I'll be focusing on OC inserts. I've already posted the first chapter to a new fic, Monachopsis on my fanfiction account under the same user name. I'll try to keep up with journal writing on here for the readers of that fic, and I'll also be posting it here for those who don't want to find it on the other site.

All in all my profile here will be devoted to my fanfictions. I might upload pictures of the things that I'm crocheting/sewing as gifts for other people, but I still haven't decided. Heck I might even paint a little something, but be prepared to be horrified if I do... My artistic talents when it comes to painting/drawing are slim to none.