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Female Armor Rhetoric BINGO (PDF)

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A week after successfully publishing the Female Armor Bingo, I present to you its spin-off: Female Armor Rhetoric Bingo!
Female Armor BINGO (dowloadable PDF) by OzzieScribbler Female Armor Rhetoric BINGO (PDF) by OzzieScribbler

This card refers to the defenses/apologia that’s used against the critique of skimpy female warrior outfits.
I did my best to collect the most pervasive arguments used to justify bikini armors and similar costumes.

When using the bingo card, PLEASE stick to the Rules and Terms:

These cards are intended only for personal use. If you wish to use them commercially or incorporate them or a derivative product into a commercial product - please contact Ozzie Scribbler on Tumblr or DeviantArt.

You’re free to use the Female Armor Bingo and the Rhertoric Edition card to critique, snark, assess or judge any commercial creative works intended for mainstream consumption. However, please assure you do not alter them in any way that obscures or removes credit from the original creators.

If you share your marked up bingo cards on Tumblr we encourage you to tag them with “female armor bingo” so that we can find them.

Blank Female Armor Bingo cards are NOT public domain or have Creative Commons license.

Do not distribute blank bingo cards by starting a new post, emailing them out, rehosting them or otherwise setting them up in a location away from Bikini Armor Battle Damage.  If you wish to share them with other people please use thumbnails and links to the cards at either Bikini Armor Battle Damage on Tumblr (Rhetoric Edition) or Ozzie Scribbler (Rhetoric Edition) on DeviantArt.

Very special thanks to ami-angelwings of eschergirls fame for suggesting back in 2013 to make two bingo cards (original unpublished version was a mix of the tropes and arguments defending them).

Designed in CorelDraw by yours truly

As with the original bingo card, special thanks to the people who helped me to come up with square contents and revisions: Ami from eschergirls, Tica from @repair-her-armor, psdo of costumecommunityservice, Ryan ‘Jabberwock’ C. and my friends who didn’t want to be credited by name!

© 2014 - 2021 OzzieScribbler
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Loanet's avatar
"Her strength comes from uncovered skin!"

You've played as Skarlet, haven't you? Apparently she's so scantily clad because she absorbs the blood of other warriors, except it's pretty much identical to Kitana's outfit who wears that shit apparently because that's just how Shao Khan has all his whores dress.
LilithDenton's avatar
Hahahah, I just love it. It is so accurate.
sunflowergirl15's avatar
I loved this when I first read it!

Speaking of, if a female fighter absolutely had to fight in very little armor, wouldn't it make more sense to spring for a helmet and proper torso armor to protect her vital organs? It's not like her enemies are aiming for her breasts unless they miss her heart or anything.
OzzieScribbler's avatar
Yes, literally anything, including total nudity, makes for a better protection than "fantasy female armor" (read: some iteration of metal or leather bikini, applying to the laws of physics and anatomy completely optional). 
The "minimal/lightweight armor" argument makes no sense as an excuse for fighting in, say, chainmail lingerie, because, as you said, actual minimal armor would most likely consist of a helmet and a proper breastplate.
MashaOs's avatar
Thank you for these brilliant cards !
MechaDeka's avatar
Wow you've completely changed my way of thinking and now I will never look at boobies again, as my beta shut-in ass doing so was somehow causing women I'll never meet to suffer. In fact I may kill myself for being disgusting cis scum. What a fool was!
AClockworkKitten's avatar
Lol. Why do you hate boobs?
Samven's avatar
Bless this bingo and everything connected to it.
Yes, bless this putrid Rhetoric card that amounts to nothing more than "if you see something that makes you feel uncomfortable, shit all over anything that may justify it."
Samven's avatar
I thought the whole point of the card was to take the piss out of extremely weak justifications for skimpy armour, not to use as some sort of comfort shield?
Letrune's avatar
I want 1 and 4 being official reasons. :3
AndyofIndiana's avatar
Is the point of this Bingo that these excuses don't eliminate the sexist double standard?  I would be fine if the men and women were equally skimpy (accounting for tastefulness of course).  You know what, maybe I should give my views on sex and sex appeal.

1. While I am clearly attracted to women, I have also had the desire to bang some men.  I don't know whether this comes from actual bisexuality or if it is just the Stupid Sexy Flanders trope at work.…
2. I'm fine with women in sexy outfits as long as they're practical.  For instance, bras should have straps (preferably of the over the shoulder variety) to support the breasts.  Women's outfits should be more than one piece so that they can use the bathroom easily (if you prefer the mild modesty of one pieces, look up tankinis).
3. Exposed breasts and butts are a personal pet peeve of mine.  I could argue that I want to be blind during sex.  After all, sex is primarily about touching and feeling rather than sight.
4. I don't like women having breasts bigger than C-cup.  I don't think that the additional sexiness of D-cup or bigger breasts is worth all the back pain it causes.  However, this comic provides a potential solution.…
5. If you look in the "Sexy" folder of my favorites, you'll see a lot of girls in bikinis licking or sucking on popsicles (two men do the same).  This is what I compare my penis to because it is smaller than usual.  Thankfully, it's not tiny, it's just plain ol' smaller than usual.  I think it would at least suffice for most women.  If they wanted reciprocity in sexual innuendo, I would happily drink from two bags of milk that they hold.
6. I am an ally of the feminist movement.  I think women should have the right to choose their path in life as long as it's morally right (just like men can).  This means they can be promiscuous just as men can be chaste.  I also think sex is not inherently evil and that it's how sex is done that makes it good or evil. 

That's all I can think of right now.  If you're curious about my "Sexy" folder in my favorites, here it is.…
Zerion's avatar
I love these cards.
Kuzupekoyama's avatar
I highly agree with "Why do you care? It's just for fun." Like wtf just let people enjoy what they want. Without making a big deal out of it.  
ReyRay's avatar
"all of her vital organs are in her boobs!"
malkrow21's avatar
"Female warriors don't need practical armor; they have boobs of steel!" 
I really like this.

I also like the pathetic excuses people are making to keep women naked.
Oh you people never cease to entertain and disappoint me.
supervamp78's avatar
So what exactly is the point of this?
3rdMillhouse's avatar
But art shouldn't be censored. 1st Amendment is pretty clear on that. If a dev-house wants to have overly sexualized female characters in their game, it's their right to do so.
Asdruabel's avatar
Freedom of speech is not freedom from criticism.
3rdMillhouse's avatar
But it's freedom from censorship and freedom from persecution.
Asdruabel's avatar
No, it isn't. If it was, well, the objectification of women certainly contributes to persecution, so...
3rdMillhouse's avatar
yes it it, read the constitution of the United States
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