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Overdue Apology. Hi, guys.

Journal Entry: Sun Mar 29, 2015, 7:47 AM

It's been a long time since I looked in on this page and I'm not sure what to say. But looking at the comments on my main page, it's clear that I definitely owe the people who watched (and still watch) me here a massive apology.

I am very sorry to have up and left without a word and I am very sorry to have worried anyone here. It was a dick move and you all deserve better than that. I am especially sorry to have worried people by not letting them know what was happening though, not-knowing can be a horrible thing.

I feel like offering an explanation is trying to offer an excuse. I don't want to do that, but I would like to let people know what happened rather than presenting them with more radio silence.

I suppose the abridged version is: at the time there was a lot of upheaval going on in my life. I was moving countries, moving jobs, trying to find a place to live in that new country. It was incredibly stressful, the most stressful thing I've ever done. Before I moved, I was also being actively harassed by a specific individual -- who had a lot of problems, themselves. The move started and that harassment followed me to Deviantart and it was just an additional stress I didn't want, or need.

So I removed everything and removed myself from this site, along with other sites where the same thing was happening. My reasoning being that it's hard to harass someone if they're not there.

Removing my stuff and dropping out of DA didn't seem like a big deal in the face of everything else. At that point other things in my life had to take priority.

I moved, I got a job, I worked and I can say that at least I worked hard. I can also say I wasn't happy living where I was living. It wasn't home. This wasn't a good time in my life etc. I guess this unhappiness opened up a line of communication with people back home and eventually, I decided that if I was going to come home I needed a permanent fixture to keep me there. Long story short, I talked to my lawyer, got a loan then bought myself a house, spent the consequent months back and forth renovating it (with professional builders because the place needed a lot of work) then moved back.

There's more to add, the person who helped me get my house passed away due to an accident two months after I was able to move in and I regret not thanking him a lot more than I did because he was the most selfless person I've ever known and without him I'd honestly still be lost. I love him to bits but I know he's in a better place now. They say here that god takes his favourites early. I'm not a religious person but that's something I'd like to believe in, at least.

As this is already a wall of text that's too wordy, I'll stop there, but I wanted to apologize again to the people who have sent message of concern here on this page or notes in private (which I haven't looked at yet, but I don't remember having this many notes) and tell you guys that I am very sorry. And to the person who bought me a subscription while I was gone: thank you very much, that was so kind, please sent me a note if you're still around, I'd like to do something for you.

I hope you guys are doing well. Thank you for everything through the years.


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GrimweaverArt Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Fifteen years later, I'm still here. Thank you so very much for the inspiration. 
theOrangeSunflower Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2017  Student General Artist
I just wanted to let you know I have greatly admired your work since I was a young girl and you were a big inspiration for me to learn how to paint digitally and its become a major part of my career. Thanks
Lukia-GravenHeart Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
Hey, your artwork's been stolen
fempharaoh3000 Featured By Owner May 1, 2017
I finally found you again! I was sooo worried about you, honey! I've been a fan of your art since '02-03, so I'm especially glad you're alright! :heart:

Harassment is a LEGIT reason to fall off the face of the cyberverse, so I don't blame you at all for your absence. It's been a long road, but now it's mostly behind you, at least. Take your time with your creations; I happen to be doing the same with my fanfiction after suffering a major psychotic break, myself.

Oooh, it's so good to see you back! I give you internet-hugs~! :heart:
Gigibene Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2016
Hello Orin! Where's the Squall fanart "of Ice and Lions"? It's so precious, I love it, but I can't seem to find it here. Did you delete it?

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