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About Varied / Artist ShandiFemale/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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There were no tears today. It's the third day since the young man I fell for two years ago left me alone to pick up all the pieces of myself. The first day was hell. I didn't sleep or eat, I just cried. When I'd stopped crying, I stared at nothing for long periods of time. The night was the worst, because I had to work the next morning, but I couldn't make myself drowsy no matter what I did. I just sobbed and sobbed until I finally managed to sob myself into oblivion for a few short hours before my alarm clock made me reface my personal horror story.
Yesterday was better, but it was still awful. I pulled myself together long enough to watch half a movie with my father and brother, and to go to a restaurant with a friend, but then I was back to my room to contemplate what this change meant for my life.
He'd been my confidant, the one person I could bare my heart to and know I'd be accepted just as I was despite my own past and present failures. He'd made me smile more than I even though
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 2 14
His eyes shine like stars;
He smiles a glowing sunrise
And lights up my life.
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 1 13
Two Roads
I don't want to simply exist in shades of gray,
Your absence puncturing my lungs,
searing my flesh.
I don't want to shut my heart in an airtight safe,
Employed only in circulating blood through my arteries,
my capillaries.
I don't want to consume without returning,
Leaving a mark only in my bed,
in my fridge.
I want to live in every colour I see,
Breathe in your closeness,
kiss you.
I want to wear my heart on my sleeve,
Let it bleed because blood means I can feel,
and love.
I want to leave more than I take in,
Travel the world and be remembered
as someone who lived.
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 3 7
Mature content
Mischief Managed :iconorangelovee:orangelovee 2 2
If you'd just let him go you'd be better off
He's pulling you
You never leave the house
you're always
Waiting for him
to see him again
talk to him
for him to get better
to start caring
and not be embarrassed of you
Without him, you could be normal
Without him, you could start living

Letting him go would be the biggest mistake I could make
He picks me up when I'm
I don't want to go out
I'd rather be
Waiting for him
to see him again
for him to get better…
because I love him
and he loves me
but you somehow can't see it
Without him, I'd have no one
Without him, I'd be dying
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 4 15
What Do You See?
When you finally saw the light
Did you know where you were?
When it all came to an end
Could you remember?
What did you see that moment,
Was it fire or gold?
Did everything make sense again?
Did new knowledge unfold?
Can you see our future lives,
Do you see our past?
Can you see the town flag
Being pulled to half-mast?
Do you know we're crying,
Can you watch tears slide?
Can't you see we miss you?
Why did you subside?
I wonder what you're going through
And there's so much I wish I knew,
But now that we're to plan and do,
I wonder, will we think of you?
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 4 8
2. Love
I fell in love with a boy
Late one summer night
When I finally opened my eyes
And saw how we fit just right.
Up at 10 in the morning
To 3 AM dormancy,
We could talk about anything,
He was always there for me.
My confidante and friend
Day in and day out.
As I watched the sun set or rise,
He'd be there without a doubt.
He could laugh at or with me,
Or understand my ordeal.
Each day I prayed and hoped
He'd notice how I feel.
But he had his eye stuck
On a girl who didn't care.
While she tried to avoid him,
I remained with him there.
He would ask my opinion
On what to do or say,
Something to make her care
If I knew some way.
One day, I'd had enough.
I told him from my heart
That you can't make someone love
Someone else's work of art.
Now that I look back,
I see the whole thing was cliché,
But I don't think it matters
'Cause I love him more each day.
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 3 4
15. Silence
Warm perfection
Fleeting visions
Subtle movements
Simply waiting
Sudden changes
Panicked heartbeat
Feign composure
Swift farewell
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 1 3
The Ritual
         There was a light coming out of a black box. Excited voices came from it. In the rectangular structure, behind a window, were people on a white floor. They were passing a little black circle back and forth with angled sticks, apparently trying to put the circle into an area that was covered with netted rope. There was hardly a point to it.
         The box illuminated a table. There were creatures that were much like people sitting at in, devouring a meal. They were mesmerized by what was behind the window of the black box. There was a little girl in a pink sweater, picking at her vegetables with her fingers, her fork neglected. She was putting a pea at a time into her mouth. A young boy sat beside her, eating steak slowly. When he finally paid enough attention to his plate to cut a piece off, he held his fork in the air in front of him. H
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 0 6
Paper cranes, fly away,
Find yourselves a home.
Leave me here, make new friends
Everywhere you roam.
Paper cranes, leave me now,
You bring me offense.
All your notes, your attacks,
There's no safe defense.
Paper cranes, beastly fiends,
Hidden 'hind your masks.
Innocent, whitewashed cloaks,
Wholesome at first glance.
Paper cranes, fly away,
I would be a waste.
Much too tired, too used up,
My blood won't have a taste.
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 1 0
Chapter 3 - The Tattoo
I could hear them behind me and I knew they'd have me pinned in about two seconds if I didn't act fast, but I thought I had a higher chance of surviving inside than in the sun. Then again, what if it wasn't daytime at all? What if I got attacked when I could've escaped? I closed my eyes tightly and grabbed the handle, but before I got the chance to pull on it, somebody else was. I jumped in my shock, and turned to see Hem swing the door open and shove me outside.
I fell backwards into the darkness. I landed on grass, jumped to my feet and started running towards the light of the odd city. I didn't stop to see if Hem was following, or if he was even okay. I felt sorry for him for feeling sorry for me, but I didn't want to die when I felt like I only just came to life.
The closer I got to the city, the more I was sure someone was still following me, but I forced myself ahead and refused to look back. If I made it to the city alright, I thought, I would be safe. If I could just get there,
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 0 2
24. No Time
Three years have passed this way
with no time for happiness
I simply wonder on most days
if time will ever come for happiness
I'm too busy, much too busy
there's no time for stress relief
And as I watch my resolve crack
I wonder if I'll ever have a life
I cry myself to sleep at night
because there's just not enough time
And how will I ever be a writer
when there's no time to punctuate
How can I be good at anything
when I can't even take time to rhyme
How will I make it anywhere
when there's no time for happiness
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 1 0
Life is Jammed on Repeat
What happened to my life?
What happened to living?
I'm caught in this routine.
It's unforgiving.
I wake up in my bed,
Feeling absolutely nothing,
Feeling dead, crippling dread.
I don't want it to keep going.
I take my morning shower
Thinking how hopeless life is,
Thinking how lonely I am,
How I'm not cut out for this.
There's never time for breakfast,
Because I'm busy making lunch
Still wishing I was nowhere,
But stuck under the daily crunch.
I'm off to school again,
It always stays the same.
Nothing ever differs,
It just won't ever change.
Homework owns a stanza
Because it fills every crack.
It takes all of my extra time,
There's a never ending stack.
And then I go to sleep
Trying hard to pretend
That life has some hope left
But still wishing it would end.
And I'm still caught in this routine.
It's so unforgiving.
What happened to my life?
What happened to living?
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 1 4
My Travelling Heart
I'll never forget
How I felt that day.
The day your family
Packed up and moved away.
I couldn't help but feel
A piece of my heart break.
Abruptly, painfully,
I felt myself start to quake.
I pulled it all together,
I stayed calm for our goodbye.
Only when your truck was gone
Would I allow myself to cry.
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
Valentine's Day came around,
You sent me a love note and I cried a river.
Nobody knows all the times I reread
All that you said in that letter.
It was a very happy day, that
Started and ended with me weeping.
When you told me where you were,
I knew I wouldn't be sleeping.
I'll never forget
How I felt that day.
The day your family
Came back to stay.
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 0 4
4. Dark
White fades into black
More incomprehensible
as sin takes control
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 5 10
Chapter 2 - What Are You?
I woke up in complete darkness, to the cold touch of a hand and then a loud bang. I jumped, but hit my head. Was I in a box? At least I remembered the last time I woke up this time, and my journey through the city, but I had no idea how I got inside a box, or where the box was. Who in the world touched my face?
I heard voices outside my container. The first one was a man who sounded terrified, like he was defending himself.
"I thought she was warm because of the sun! I didn't know she'd still be warm the next night! I swear, I didn't know!"
A chilling voice of another man replied, "Is she a human then? Or do you not know that either?"
I heard a woman's laugh, high and mocking, and then the scared man again, "She isn't human, she was hiding from the sun. It was burning her! Whoever turned her must not have killed her right!"
The other man chuckled cruelly, "He must have been just as dim as you, then. How do you kill someone the wrong way? Orva, do you know?"
The woman, Orva, cackled and
:iconorangelovee:orangelovee 0 8


:iconnanowrim0: :iconunique-and-common: :iconheartwords: :iconda-canada:


:iconlovelimegreen: :iconzeukthebeardeddragon: :icon101dewdrop: :iconxxx-matthew-xxx: :iconchailla:



Artist | Varied

I love:
Harry Potter
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Phantom Tollbooth
Questionable Content
Girls with Slingshots
Sequential Art
Octopus Pie
Fable II
Ocarina of Time
Majora’s Mask

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panosozi Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks a lot for the fav on my photo walk alone
Kick-Artist Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Thankyou very much, its greatly appreciated :)
gemlovesyou Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :meow:
Nephy13 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
thank u for the fav dear :)
mauank Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
thanx :peace:
LashelleValentine Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Photographer
Thank you so very much for the fave! I really appreciate it. If you would like to and you haven't already would you mind looking at the rest of my gallery here [link] and maybe you could even add me to your watch if you like what you see :) Once again, thank you SO much for the favorite! Have a good day!
abardaad Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Professional Photographer
Thanks for the FAV :)
101dewdrop Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the favs! :hug:
gemlovesyou Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :meow:
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Thank you very much for the :+fav: :happybounce:
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