literature

parallel dimensions...

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offbyzero's avatar
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Literature Text

if parallel dimensions exist, then somewhere there is a me that actually lost you. i don't think she is doing very well. i wonder if she has even gotten out of bed. i wonder if she believes that this is all a nightmare she just can't wake up from. i believe i would if i was her.
i feel so very sorry for her, knowing that you are still here with me now. knowing that i can still hear the solidarity, the steadiness, the safety...the things in your voice that are justified but i cannot explain because the english language does not have enough words for describing sound.
i think that's part of why sometimes we only make noises to each other. words cannot say enough, because they are filled with complications. connotations that differ between people from that main denotation. so we roar, we whimper, we sigh, we make that noise like getting comfortable in the crook of the other's neck. they tend to get more across, or at least they are sounds not as weak as structured consonants and vowels lined next to each other.
just moans and growls and mmmmms.
but that poor parallel dimension me. she must be replaying that video we took of you saying "I love you." you whispered it, you said it softly, but you said it with...you said it in every way that made our hearts strengthen. she must be trying to imagine you as your arms encircled us, nibbling our ears to make them warmer. then she must be thinking..."that will never happen again."
after a while, she might get enough energy in her to make a time machine. she'll buy a delorean. she'll trip on acid. she'll do everything just to try and make time twist backward. she needs a vacation in paradise. where she can hear your heart beat and your lips twitch into a giggle.
of course she tries to go there. how could she possibly keep living when she has planned every next minute with you? even those minutes you're not actually there, she planned to at least be thinking about your later times together. we were planning.
now her future is just this desert of motivation.
i feel so sorry for her.
and yet i know that, unless i die before you, i will become her.
our parallel dimensions will encircle upon each other. does that possibly mean that time does not always go forward?
does that mean you are always there?

of course not. it just means i wish the world was built that way.
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