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So I've been gone for, like, ever. And I'm not here to say that I'm coming back any time soon.
I just want to be up front about my absence. And I know I'm probably setting myself up for a lot of really harsh bullshit that I don't need right now, but whatever.
There are at least a couple people here that actually care and want to know this stuff, so I'm here for them, and NOT for a bunch of total dicks with nothing better to do than harass strangers on the internet.
So here goes.
When I left, I was in a very bad place. Heavily depressed, heavily suicidal, and basically just done with everything and everyone.
I moved on, got medication, got a "real" job, and had a life for awhile.
Then in October, all that progress got tossed to the wind when I found out that my 7-year-old boy has a super rare and super deadly form of brain cancer. It's called DIPG. Look it up, if you want. It's the most horrible thing possible for him. And I am more dead inside than ever.
I already almost lost him a couple of times. It's only because of me and my mom instincts that he's alive right now. And I'm thankful that, as of now, he's still here, and he's stronger and more mature about this than I ever could be. He's accepted it. But I can't. And I will fight for him until the bitter end.
So I had to quit my job, which I loved. I'm barely holding myself together. And as much as I hated my life earlier in the year, now it's just rock bottom.
Honestly, I've thought many times about ending it. But because I saved his life twice already, I know I'm the one who needs to be here for him. Because if I kill myself, I'm basically killing him as well, and there's no way in hell I'm that selfish.
So I'm still here. For now.
And that's why I've been gone. So... I guess now you know. Thank you for listening.
It's been ten years.
That's a long time, right? Like, people change in ten years, right? People change in five. In one.
And yet, suddenly, I'm being harassed on pretty much every website imaginable for some stuff I said or felt when I was younger and stupider.
It's not really fair, but at this point, I'm just so sick of the harassment.
I don't care about my work anymore. I don't care who uses it or what they do with it. Just have it, okay? You win, it's yours. Congratulations.
My stupid work is not worth the ridiculous amount of harassment that I am getting over it. So do what you want with it. Make your millions. At least then one of us can.
I really don't care anymore. I have a family and I am battling my own mental disorders, so I really don't need the drama. Grow the fuck up.
In the mean time, I'm probably going to finally put an end to this account soon. So if you aren't a prick and you actually want to stay in contact, send me a PM, I guess.
See ya. Thanks for the support that some of you gave.