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ano ko no uwasa by obakesama ano ko no uwasa by obakesama
this is just a vent about mental health so yeahh you can skip it lmao. i just want to get this out of my chest. tw for selfharm and suicide. i'm fine though. faves are appreciated

it just angers me when people think (especially my parents) that i'm mentally healthy just because i'm functional. i'm good at math? it's a hyperfixation. i organize my room? it's an obsession. i can talk people respectfully? i'm constantly anxiously making out the rules of social interaction. so when i happen to breakdown and cut, they think 'something happened'. something didn't happen, something is happening constantly inside my brain. they say they support me but when i vent to them it's just... useless, it makes me feel worse. therapy and talking to professionals also doesnt help. i've had professionals completely ignore my symptoms. i sent a message to my suicide hotline explaining everything i felt and they just said "we're listening, please continue". like??? i said everything? this didnt help me at all? im still thinking of suicide? oh god i'm getting angry. everything feels so useless. venting is useless. please don't comment that 'you're here for me' because i'm not gonna talk to anyone on private, i dont feel like it's ever gonna be useful. yknow what? maybe i'm just a fucking crybaby and everything's ok with me. there's no fucking problem
dexikon Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Im sorry you going through this, you can try reaching for help to hotlines that are meant for ventiing and they might give you some advice if it gets real bad <3
obakesama Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2018  Student Digital Artist
i've tried the official hotlines in my country (brazil) but they just suck :/ i've talked to them a bunch of times and it was horrible. i contacted the US hotline once and it was cool, but i forgot it was an international call so they charged me a lot of money x_x i've also tried the websites that offer venting to strangers, but in the end i don't feel much better, but thanks for the tips anyway :^(
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