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Are we just friends?

By o-kemono
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" This was a very strange moment for me. I can still remember it clearly in my own head. I dated his for a few months now and we got along pretty well. We also connected on a good level. We went out to clubs, dinner, movies, even hanged out along in our own apartments just to talk. He was someone I could trust and count on to be there. He felt the same as well.

" One night, we decided to take things to the next level; the level where we would now expose our fur to each other. I was nervous. It was up to the point where he saw my chest that I told him a passing thought. I told him that I was not ready for a physical relationship, not just because of him, but because of my own lack of self-confidence and self respect. I was very shy and not really ready. That is what I told him. He did not act the way I imagined it. He said that he was ready, and has been ever since the day we met. He said that I have been in his fantasies forever and he would really want to show me sexual bliss. As tempting as that was to me, I still didn't change my mind.

" . . . He left in a huff and never called me back. I regretted that night where I asked him if we could be friends for a while longer before moving forward, taking it to the next level. I should have kept my mouth shut. If I had, I would have still have been with him.

" . . . I never told him that I was a virgin too . . . "

- Anne

* * *

It is hard to see a friend as something more. Love can play trick with your eyes. If you really like someone, more than just a friend, you find yourself more vulnerable of getting hurt by simple honest truths that you cant go that far. Going to the next step, a physical relation, is a big step to take. There must be an agreement between both parties - they must feel comfortable exposing their own bodies to you and willing to except your eyes scanning their flesh. If one side is unsure and wishes to stop, everything slowly starts to crumble and fall like a building. It will only take one hard swing of honesty to break the beam.

How can you deny your feelings for someone when you really wish to help that person and be rewarded by getting closer to that person? Its all about trust. If that person trusts you, you can move closer to him/her. The more closer that person allows you to get, the more stronger the relationship will get. If you force yourself to step closer without permission, you risk losing everything completely.

You have to respect what the other thinks and says, even if it hurts you. That person was just being honest and telling you eye to eye that he/she is not ready yet and needs more time. If that does come up, give that person more time. Continue to help and be with that person. In many cases, it will all pay off and there will be less tension between the person and the feelings surrounding him/her.

- Ookami Kemono

Just Friends © 2007 Alex Cockburn
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© 2007 - 2021 o-kemono
Comments21
anonymous's avatar
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WillieManga's avatar
It's been five years since the last comment, but I don't care. Anyone who can't accept that your friend can't love you yet, their loss. I'd be satisfied in just being her friend for however long she wants.
Angel3575's avatar
ya isn't that the shitty truth, so to get passed that I did an experiment and made the room so dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my face lol! anyway that helped a little, give it a try ^~^
but what really helped me was to workout it made me feel good about myself.
RCWikkydArtist's avatar
Wow. Your stories get real deep in all sorts of relationships between friends. I really liked this one.
AnkeaEnkeli's avatar
What about the opposite? When someone says they see you as more and turn around later with a "let's just be friends and nothing more"?

I doubt I'm the only one that has had this happen to them...
Ja-Hiel's avatar
o.o I have a boyfriend that's saying he's ready to rush into a physical relationship, but... I don't believe him. It's a little funny, when you see something like this that so many people can relate to, but... Your situation is the opposite.
Zeggolisko's avatar
I had to fave many of your drawings, simply because I've recently experienced situations like these and you've really caught the feeling in them. Especially the eyes.

On this picture, my situation ended in a different way, happily. But first we had exactly those eyes and I was very confused. I wanted it after all, at least some much, but it was a big step to take.
fasterfind's avatar
I've been in a few scenarios that played out like that. It's awfully painful. I've pretty much decided that the right moment is simply "now"

A lot of things are like that. The time to learn to dance is the first song of the night, not the last. The time to learn to swim is the moment you find the shoreline.

I have lived the life of one that climbs the highdive slowly and fearfully, that approaches and then hesitates at the last moment. In no way has that caused me more pain than in failed relationships.
ardunt's avatar
Back from my time away and I see you have yet spun and put together another great one. The rawness of that first event and the choice to turn it down is so powerful.

Sorry to say, not everyone hears the no in your no and it could have been worse to have it taken anyway even when the no was presented.
aphasia-Runeic's avatar
I've been hurt a lot. Old as I am, I never took a lover for years. i simply wasn't ready. Many times, i've sppken the words, "I like you, and want to be more. please give me more time."
It hurts to be rejected because you are frightened, and yes. Because you are a virgin. Anyone who tells you you're lying when you tell them you are afraid isn't listening. Aren't looking into your eyes. It hurts to say "please give me more time" That pain is in your eyes. Your fear is in your eyes. It certainly was in mine. I met someone. Someone who gave me time. Who looked into my eyes and didn't see themselves, they saw me, and what I felt. It's hard to trust. It's hard to face your fear unless your partner suports you.
Raijinthebloodfox's avatar
THe expressions are beautiful
Terry-Coldfire's avatar
Of course. Respect and trust is the foundation for any relationship, and other catigories that fall into that is honesty and understanding. Leaving someone just because you didn't get to have what you wanted is a sad reason to be ending a relationship that could have ended up being great. I feel that that guy was only looking out for himself and not for her, for his needs, not her, for his wants, not hers. She wanted to give him understanding, she wanted to help him understand how she felt, what she was going through and why she couldn't do it. And what did he do? He rejected her all because he couldn't get what he wanted. It's one thing to show youself... it's another thing to give yourself entierly to someone. Great job on this picture. The blending, wrinkles, shading, everything is really well done. Another fav certainly. I can't wait to see what else you have coming, Oki-san.
Lorr's avatar
It sounds like the guy didn't have the respect, patience, or understanding to deal with being "rejected." If he's willing to leave her and never talk to her again because he didn't get what he wanted, then what a self-absorbed ass! If he really cared about her, he would want her to be comfortable.

Just my thoughts on the subject.
wildfiredragons's avatar
wait are you both boys or he's a girl or you are... uh i am confused?????? fill me in please :O-o:
Eternalwanderer01's avatar
Amazing work! Both on the artwork and on the background story.
Taigan's avatar
This is such a hard situation. When someone is not ready, unfortunately things have often progressed pretty far by the time they realize that. Any partner has the right to change their mind at any time; it just can't work any other way. But what those who are saying "no" have to understand is that, no matter your intentions or phrasing, what your partner will be hearing is "you're not good enough." Even if they know better, that is how it will feel. So please be as patient and understanding as possible, whichever partner you are.
ForzaNinetails's avatar
I love the stories and morals in it. Well said, well done.

Also what a jerk. I would have smiled and understood her wants and wishes.
KeiserAinoko's avatar
I love the whole story and moral that came with it. You did an amazing job with this. :wow:
GS47's avatar
So the moral of the story is that if you decided to go the next step, don't look back, eh.

Awesome pic, awesome description. For some reason I find this to be an odd angle, though. The shading is great, but I find that the arms are a bit too big, that's just my opinion though. ^^;
Sorame's avatar
*nods* True.
Katiria-the-Cat's avatar
VirusC's avatar
I love your intricate descriptions. They always take me back to specific points in my life I try not to think about. But you have a sympathetic approach to it, so it's more soothing to recall.
anonymous's avatar
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